Shinobi News Live at Five
-that music that plays at the beginning of the 5 o'clock news is playing. There's a large blue-grey screen that shows the title 'Shinobi News Live at Five' in cool script. Naruto is sitting at a desk and tapping his foot. Sakura is operating the camera-
Naruto: Welcome, to another edition of Shinobi News, Live at Five. I'm your anchorman, Naruto Uzumaki. Today, we acutally have things in order. I think.
Sakura: NARUTO.
Naruto: ... uhhhh. Anyway, Today's top stories are:
Fangirls. Are you one?
Monkeys. What are they planning? Who do they work for?
Mushrooms. Are they fun to play with?
Sakura: Are mushrooms fun to play with? what kind of story is that?
Naruto: I don't write the script.
Sakura:...
Naruto: Anyway, Let's go to Neji, with the up to date Fangirl Report.
-The 'Fangirl Report' thingy shows up.-
Neji: Thank you Naruto, Welcome, to your daily fangirl report. Let's examine the fangirl activity charts. The Sasuke Fangirls, the Neji Fangirls, and the Kakashi Fangirls, all seem to be slowing down in their stalking practices. This may be connected to the fact that 97 of each of those fangirls is sick at home with a serious flu virus, that, if they weren't strapped down to the bed by their mothers, wouldn't stop them anyway. The Naruto, Gaara, and Kiba fangirls are starting to move, and it's believed that they're planing something. We suggest that Naruto, Gaara, and Kiba, all get into hiding as quickly as possible. Here are the fangirl numbers.
Naruto: 839284732856785
Sasuke: 839284732856783
Neji: 839284732856784
Gaara: 2324534253634
Kakashi: 2349782958129843
Itachi: 89348571234952
Kiba: 782348012
Itachi:234287519823742
Orochimarou:23498
Shikamarou:234987234
Shino:234298745893
Choji: 9
Back to you Naruto.
-the main desk shows up again, minus Naruto-
Sakura:... Naruto, stop fooling around and get up. Naruto?- walks where the camera can see her and peeks behind the desk- OMG NARUTO IS MISSING. THE FANGIRLS GOT HIM!!! who will be the anchor?
Sasuke: I will. -sits on Naruto's chair- Now we go to Tenten for gossip while Sakura looks for the dobe.
Sakura: Why do I have to look for him?
Sasuke: Because. I don't want to be here. go.
Sakura: -sulks and leaves-
-the screen switches the TenTen-
TenTen: Thank you, um Sasuke. Anyone, I heard that this one girl heard from this other girl that heard from this other girl that heard from this one person who heard from this other person, who heard from a third preson who heard from their neighbor who heard from their grocer who heard from a ninja who heard from a student who heard from his mom who heard from someone else that Sasuke has a skirt in his closet. A pink skirt. Actually, I heard that it was a really cute pink chanel number.
Sasuke:... Can you people leave my name out of this?
TenTen: no. not at all.
Sasuke:...
TenTen: Back to you. Sas-gay.
-The Screen Returns to Sasuke-
Sasuke:...
Sakura:.. I CAN'T FIND NARUTO
Kakashi: I found him. -drops Naruto and the floor and then leaves.-
Naruto: Fangirls. are. evil. personified.
Sasuke: ...
Naruto: To Shino. For the weather.
-The Screen shows the 'Weather' Icon. -
Shino: Tomorrow's weather will be slightly cloudy, but it will be hot. So wear cool clothes. or burn and die. I don't care. Back to Naruto.
-Screen Changes back to Naruto-
Naruto:... Where'd Sasuke go?
Sakura: I don't know.
Naruto: uh. to Sakura with fashion!
Sakura: STOP DOING THAT. STALL!...and don't sing again, that was annoying..
Naruto:... damn. That's all I had. umm. what would I do? ooh. ooh. ooh. i'll tell you a story that just happened!
okay, one day, today, i was sitting here at my desk and i had just called for neji's fangirl report and while neji was giving his fangirls this girl just randomly popped up next to me and i just stared at her for like, 2 minutes and she just stood there staring back and grinning and it was kinda freaky cause she didn't blink, not once, at all, so I scooted in my chair because my chair has rolly-wheels on it and then i bumped into something so i turned around and there was another fangirl there and she was just staring at me and grinning too so I was a little freaked out and then i scooted away from both of them and away from my desk and i bumped into something else so i turned around and there was a third girl just staring at me and grinning so now i was thoroughly freaked out and then i closed my eyes and then i opened them again and i was surrounded and i realized that they were fangirls and i tried to scream for help and then they ductaped my mouth and i was carried off by a herd of my fangirls and i was thoroughly freaked out and then they carried me to their headquarters but first they blindfolded me so that i wouldn't find the way back and then i was thrown into a room and i found myself surrounded by fangirls and i was afraid for my sanity but then the leader of my fanclub made the other fangirls put me back because apparently she's using me for a fanfic of hers right now and she didn't want sasuke to ruin her story. The end.
Sakura:...uh...ok...uh... I'm ready..
Naruto:... okay. Let's go to Sakura for fashion!
-The screen changes to show Sakura's 'Fashion News' screen-
Sakura: Eh hem, Thank you Naruto.. for that..um.. I have no idea what you said. Anyway, Today, on fashion, we discuss a super-hot look that's sweeping the ninja communities. It's the face mask. Worn right, it turns everyone great-looking. Anyway, Have a really bad pimple on your lower face? Well, a face mask that matches your outfit works great! If you want to have some sort of a print on your face mask, make sure that it matches the rest of your outfit. Some great combinations are a plain sheet grey top with dark grey pants and Dark grey shoes. and then have a dark grey masks with silver details on the mask. It will look so hot. Back to you Naruto.
-The screen returns to Naruto's face-
Naruto: Thank you for watching 'Shinobi News, Live at Five' . Join us tomorrow for the most up-to-date news. I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and good night..
Cool, we were actually kinda put together today... kinda.
Sakura: STOP INSINUATING THAT WE DON'T PREPARE CORRECTLY!!!!!