Thin Line

Chapter 4

Summary: John is walking a thin line. His obsession with hunting will jeopardize one son physically and both sons emotionally. Limp Sam to come.

Warning: Touchy subject!

Note: Sorry I forget to mention it earlier, but Dean is 18 and Sam is 14.

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Enjoy...

Not only was Sam so hungry that he could barely function, but now he had to humiliate himself publicly in the form of ice skating... thanks Dad.

"Hurry up!" Adam called he was sitting on the bench next to Sam waiting for him to get his skates on, Lola, Brett, and Cameron were already out on the ice and Ashley was standing beside Adam, pulling on her gloves and making sure her scarf was on right.

"I really think you guys should just go on without me," Sam suggested, not for the first time that night. "I think I need to take these skates back and get a different size."

"You've taken you're skates back like a million times already, those are the right size." Adam said.

"It's really not that hard Sam." Ashley assured him. "Brett's only gone like twice and look at him..." Sam looked up just in time to see Brett fall on his rear and Lola stood by laughing as he pulled himself up.

Sam sighed it couldn't be that bad. "Fine."

Sam, Adam, and Ashley made their way over to the entrance of the rink Lola came to meet them, while Cameron did his best to drag Brett out of the way of on coming skaters. Ashley and Adam glided on to the ice, Adam was less then graceful and was hanging on to Ashley so he wouldn't fall, Sam stood reluctantly at the entrance, trying to figure out how to get on without dying.

"Come on Sam, if Adam can do it anyone can." Lola said.

"Yeah, well what about Brett?" Sam asked wincing in sympathy was Brett fall again.

Lola shook her head sadly and replied sarcastically. "He's a rare exception. Brett is one of the most talented athletes that you will ever meet, but the poor kid couldn't ice skate his way out of a paper bag... it's pathetic really."

"I guess I can try." Sam clung to the wall and slowly stepped on to the ice.

"Oh come on! You can't hang on to the wall, it's way easier once you get going, here just hang on to me and glide." Lola instructed.

He held on to her arm, she was right, the faster he went the easier it got. Dean would love this, watching Sam cling to Lola, Sam would definitely leave this part out when he told Dean about his evening.

After only three laps Lola went to the exit. "Well I'm done." She announced. "I want some hot chocolate."

"That's it?" Sam whined. "I was just starting to get it."

"Well you can go again once we get some hot chocolate, I'm buying as a celebratory drink."

"What are we celebrating?"

"That you aren't nearly as bad at ice skating as Brett." Lola said shooting an amused look at Brett who was using the wall to maneuver towards the exit, small children were passing him by and laughing.

Sam laughed. "That is worth celebrating."

"I sure think so." She replied. "Do you want marshmallows in yours?"

Sam hated to ask, but he knew he had to. "Hey, how many calories do you think are in hot chocolate." He asked as they sat on a bench.

"Why do you care?"

Sam shrugged. "Jus' wondering."

"O-kay...um, I wouldn't know, I'm not a calorie-counter, but you might ask Ashley, she's always dieting."

Sam felt so stupid for asking and he wanted to tell her why he had asked, but he couldn't. "I don't want any marshmallows, thanks." He said lamely.

"Okay I'll be right back." She came back a few minutes later with two cups of hot chocolate and her purse, she handed Sam one of the cups and set the other on the bench before sitting down. She pulled her purse into her lap and pulled out a bag full of gummy bears. "Want some?"

Of course Sam wanted some, every time Sam felt like he was starting to fall for Lola she pulled out a damn bag of gummy bears and made him resentful, he was starting to think she was doing it on purpose. "No thanks."

"What's up with you?—I thought you loved gummy bears."

"I do, I just...wanna save room for dinner." Sam replied.

She shrugged. "Whatever."

Soon everyone else came out of the rink. "What are you two doing, you barely skated at all!" Cameron said.

"I'm too hungry to skate." Lola whined. Sam shook his head, that girl did not even know hungry.

"Well, I'm done too." Brett said collapsing on the bench beside Sam.

"Thank god." Ashley said. "It was painful just watching you."

"Shut up Ashley." Cameron reprimanded jokingly, then turned to Brett. "I though you did so much better then last time...remember? You almost took out that whole family."

"I'm so hungry!" Lola cried dramatically. "Can we please go eat?"

The kids walked to a little Italian restaurant near by, it smelt so good inside that Sam's mouth was watering. After they were seated the waitress brought them some beard and took there drink orders, Sam watched his friends devour it and was thankful that they'd eaten it all quickly so he wouldn't have to look at it.

Sam flipped to the 'soup and salad' page in the menu, chicken caesar salad seemed like something he could have. All of his friends were getting large pasta dishes, with the exception of Ashley, how was also getting the chicken caesar salad, after proclaiming that she had just started another diet.

"Is that all your getting Sam?" Brett asked after they received their food.

Sam nodded. "I'm not very hungry."

The waitress had brought some extra plates and Lola quickly grabbed one and put some of her Chicken Alfredo on it and handed it to Sam. "Try it, it's really good."

Brett also put some of his pasta on the plate and Adam and Cameron did the same. "I'm really not that hungry." Sam said unconvincingly as he was practically drooling over the food.

"It's not very much." Cameron said.

"Yeah, and it's really good." Adam added.

It didn't take much more then that for Sam to justify it in his mind. "Well, I guess I could eat a little." He said and everyone nodded encouragingly.

He ate everything on the plate like a ravenous raccoon, then started munching on his salad, but once he looked at the empty plate and realized what he'd done he felt very guilty.

Sam slowly opened the door to the apartment, there wasn't much left inside, because John had started moving their stuff out that day and they were going to finish tomorrow. He felt sick with guilt and disappointment, he'd let his father and brother down and he just wanted to go to his and Dean's room and cry.

"Sam? Is that you?" John called from the kitchen.

"Yes Sir."

"Come in here." John said. Sam drug his feet as much as possible, he felt like he was walking to his doom. John was closing the refrigerator and had a beer in his hand, he looked like he was in a good mood, but he wouldn't be for long. "How was your night?"

"Ice skating was fun." Sam replied.

"Yeah? You didn't fell too much?" John asked.

"No Sir."

"Where did you go for dinner?"

Sam looked down at his feet. "Just some little Italian place."

"What'd you order?" John asked.

Sam could feel his father getting suspicious. "Chicken Caesar salad and a diet coke."

"Sam is there something you want to tell me?"

Sam was quiet for a while before blurting out. "I had some pasta, lots of pasta and some hot chocolate—I'm sorry I didn't even realize how much I ate until it was gone. I'm really sorry Dad."

John was silent for a moment then responded heatedly "Not only have you let Dean and I down, but if you can't pull yourself together and lose at least twenty pounds innocent people are going to die. I only asked this one thing of you, and you can't do it. You told me I could count on you—"

"You can, I promise, it won't happen again..." Sam pleaded desperately.

"I need you to get your head in this Sam, I'm trusting you not to screw this up. You need to stay focused." John said. "I can't have Dean worrying too much about you either, I really need him for this hunt, I don't want him to be so worried about you that he can't help me get the job done."

"Yes Sir." Sam said softly he turned to go to the room he shared with Dean, but first he looked back over his shoulder at John. "I'm sorry."

Sam throw himself on to his bed, grabbed his pillow and buried his face in it to mute his sobbing. It had been less then a week since he had been given his first real responsibility in a hunt and he had already let everyone down.

Sam felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, after hearing his father's words; it seemed like no matter what he did, John would always need Dean more. Dean was always the MVP on team Winchester and there was nothing Sam could do about it. Sam couldn't bring himself to be resentful of Dean, he was the best older brother ever, but Sam wanted John to look at him just once the way he looked at Dean—he wanted to make John proud of him.

Sam did his best to pull himself together, he went into the bathroom and washed his face hoping to erase any evidence of his tears. Tears weren't going to help him make his father and brother proud, losing twenty pounds was.

He looked at himself in the mirror above the sink, god he hated his face...

Sam turned to look in the floor length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door he examined his body carefully, he pulled his hoodie and shirt off and then slipped out of his pants so he stood there clad in only boxers.

Holy crap!

When had he gotten so fat?

Thanks for reading friends.

I'm always open to suggestions.