Bella's POV
"It really can't have been four days!" I exclaimed after gathering myself, trying to understand how I could have thought six weeks had passed. My sense of timing would have told me that its been days, not weeks. I only heard laughter from other vampires in response to my outburst. I scowled.
"It's true, you lasted only four days," Leo said, dealing another blow to my self-esteem. "How else would have the girl lasted any longer than that?"
I snapped my head in Leo's direction at his statement, realizing that I should have known. Known that the girl wouldn't have had lasted six weeks without food or water. How did he do it? What did he say about the formula?
"What did you put in that formula?" I demanded, needing to know how Leo did it, how he took control of my senses. Of my monster within, turning me inside out, becoming raw.
"I'll just tell you one aspect about it, not everything, nothing about the ingredients. It's still top secret you know. But it should be rather obvious to you."
"Tell me," I growled, wanting his tirade to end.
"Bella, Bella, why should I tell you? You're so much fun to tease, to torture, to play with. Seeing you all worked up like this, it simply brings a smile to my face, dear."
I let out a loud growl, gnashing my teeth as I tried to attack him but the chains held me down.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, I should look into some sort of electrocution or some other way to discourage fighting..." he muttered to himself. "Well, anyway, thing is—we discovered just why some humans are certain vampire's siren's song. Making their blood so much more potent than other humans, that they lose all sense of rationality and simply... attack," he said.
My mind recalled to the day Edward had explained this phenomena in reaction to my blood. How he had desired my blood more than anything in his entire existence.
"La tua cante," I murmured. He sounded surprised by my knowledge when he shifted in his seat. I could picture that he was wearing a face that of a surprised look.
"Yes... exactly, it's all purely science though. We've actually been researching the matter for about thirty years now."
"What do you know?" I asked, hoping to hear more about this. To know why exactly Edward had lusted after my blood when I was a human.
"Ah, curious now, are we?" he chuckled, standing up from his seat and began pacing. I was glad I did not have to see him, shooting looks my way. "It's all about the iron levels in the blood. When a human is is born a vampire through their rebirth, their blood makeup is carried into their vampire life. After some time, we found the link why some blood are more alluring than others.. It just so happens that when a human who share the identical blood makeup as the vampire's, the vampire becomes relentless—wanting, wishing more than anything else in the world, for that particular blood in that human. It is the need they have, the need to refill their bodies with the same blood they had been as a human. In some cases, they even revert back to being a newborn, strength and all, but that's in the minority of the cases."
While I listened, I began to think more about Edward. Does this mean... Edward and I had the same blood makeup? I wondered, feeling elated that we were somehow related, connected in a way. My heart ached at the memory of Edward, his struggles to resist my blood. Knowing that he loved me that much to resist the call of my blood. Leo continued explaining, ignoring my self-reflection moment.
"With this knowledge, I was able to extract a thread of hair from you and got your blood makeup, and made the injection for the girl. Granted, it's not as strong as the real la tua cante scenario, but enough to send you into hell of your own making. How did you like trying to resist the call of that blood?" he came closer to my face, mere feet away as Leo continued. "How did you like it, falling away, giving into your own monster that desired her blood? You knew, in the back of your head, that you needed to spare her life. I saw the doubt in your eyes but you took her life out of pity, not thirst. Still, you couldn't resist, could you?"
The more he talked about how I gave into my instincts, the worse I felt. I have no control like Edward did. The formula was weak, yet, I still lost control. How could I do this? How could I?
Oh god, I thought... I whimpered, causing the vampires in the room to laugh at me. I thought I had such good control. I'm worse than Edward! How could I think, to imagine that I took a life, that smelled so... didn't even think about sparing her!
A sob rose up in my throat, wishing with every fiber of my being that Victoria had never bitten me.
Should have never jumped off then, why did I jump? Why?
Because I wanted to hear him, dummy! But now, I'm never going to see him. No matter how long I'm going have to wait. Eternity... eternity without him is hell. Do I even have a soul anymore? I took her life! My father's!
If I did not garner as much control as Edward had done for me when I was human, then I deserved nothing but death.
Please, God, Death, just take me. I don't want to be here anymore.
Left in my own thoughts, Leo left me alone, wallowing in my own misery.
I should just die now, no one's coming for me, I knew, no one is. How could they hope to rescue me, if they even want to? Even if they did rescue me now, would they still want me around? Knowing that I have no real control over my thirst?Jasper...
I thought of Jasper's past then, remembering how he had to try hard not to fall into the wayside because he had Alice at his side.
Yes, they would still want me around, but would Edward? Knowing that I'm even worse than him for having less control than him? He would hate himself, regretting that he ever came into my life in the first place... Oh God, please kill me. Take me away. Just kill me, I thought, trying to think of a way to off myself right now. Crash the plane?
Yes, it will catch on fire... Take Leo with me...
"Bella, Bella, Bella!" a voice cried out, "Listen to me, they forced it on you. You are not a monster. Not like me—not by a long shot, Bella. I chose to take their lives. You had no choice."
I recognized it, the voice I had not heard in so long, the one that spoke to me in my head when I was human. I blinked behind the blindfold in surprise.
But, please, I want to die. Let me crash this plane, I thought, formulating a plan in my head. I had to think fast, and thanked to whoever granted me the ability to think faster than a human's mind.
"You need to keep yourself alive, you're not a monster," Edward gritted as he kept talking, snapping me out of the suicidal haze I was in.
Edward? I thought, trying to understand why, of all the times in my vampire life, I was having delusions. Don't they go away when you become a vampire? They're mental illnesses! Vampires don't get mentally ill!
"Bella," he whispered now, begging, "I love you, more than anything. Please, don't try to crash this plane. Keep yourself alive—for me, please?"
The pleading voice, it tore at my heart, I began to sob out loud. I missed his voice so much, that I gave up trying to plan the demise of my life and theirs on this plane—I was sure it was a plane now—and live a little while longer. Maybe, after Leo was done with me, he would let me go. Then I would be free to search the world for Edward again.
Yes, I'll keep myself alive a little longer,I resolved, thanking my delusions for staying and keeping me alive.
I sat there, waiting for the plane to land somewhere. My mind began to wander, thinking what I could do to bring the delusions back, to hear his heavenly voice again.
No, that's what got me in trouble in the first place, I scolded myself. Don't even go down that road again. I do have all eternity to find him and his family. I need to get Alice out, to reunite them all, since this is my fault for tearing them apart.
I sighed, feeling at peace for the moment in the midst of my turmoiling thoughts. I felt it then, it was slight, but there—a descent.
Finally! I thought to myself, then began dreading what was to come. What are they going to do now? Are they going to feed me another human?
I shuddered at the thought and Leo chuckled.
"Don't worry, we won't do anything to you," he said in what was supposed to be a reassuring voice. But it did nothing to alleviate my fears. "Really, we won't."
"You're just going to try and feed me another human, making me one of your sick experiments," I snarled.
Leo sighed, exasperated, "We won't do that either. We just wanted a change of scenery!"
I rolled my eyes, not believing him, but I didn't press further. Less I caused entertainment or irritation for Leo, the less I might be forced in doing something. The plane landed then and the big vampire unchained me and led me off the aircraft. I tried to figure out where I was so I could plan an escape, a way out. The smell reminded me of a beach on a hot day—without the ocean. Almost like my old home in Arizona.
Desert! I'm in a desert, but where in the world am I? I wondered as the vampire tugged me along a path.
"Okay David, just put her there," Leo said as the vampire—whose name I now knew, led me to a chair and set me down. "No funny business," my tormentor said, doing something with a machine.
I felt myself tense up when I heard a small object sliding into something.
"Unchain her," Leo ordered David, "and stay alert."
David took the chains off my feet and hands and I rubbed my wrists absentmindedly, wondering what were my chances of escaping now. I tried to take the blindfold off, but David quickly stopped my hands from moving any higher than my jawline. I let out a growl.
"Andrew, the human please," Leo said a moment later.
"You said you wouldn't do anything!" I yelled, jumping to my feet. How did I miss the human? How?! Who is Andrew?!
David pushed me against the chair roughly, sitting down again. Then I heard a heartbeat a second later. The smell wasn't appealing, not like the girl's. Horror began to fill me when I realized what was going on. Leo was going to drug the human with my blood makeup!
"Please," I began to beg, not wanting to give into the monster in me. "Please don't do this."
"I'm making the formula stronger, so I need to test it out," Leo stated, ignoring my pleads. "I told my coworkers what we needed to adjust and Andrew here have brought the new formula. So, be a good sport and take it like a vegetarian vampire that you are."
I knew his voice was mocking me, it made my body seethe with anger. I took a deep breath, trying my best to be like Edward, resist the human blood as hard as I could, with everything I had. I focused solely on Edward and my love for him. I began to wonder if his voice would come and help me stay focused. I waited.
No, you can't rely on his voice all the time! Remember, don't go looking for his voice, find the real him! I told myself as I listened to Leo preparing—I imagined—the needle to inject into the human. You can do this, Edward resisted me, we kissed, we held each other. He drank my blood to take the venom away, and pulled away. I can do this!
Determined, I sat there, not breathing.
"Oh now, don't be like this Bella," Leo scolded playfully, "You'll have to breathe so I can see if this works."
I sat there resolutely, not wanting to grant his wishes.
"All right, I'm going to inject it now. David, make sure she breathes, do whatever you have to do"
"With pleasure," David said with a grin in his voice.
I swallowed thickly, wondering what sort of pain I was due in for. Oh God, please, please, please! I begged in my mind, I tried with everything I had not to breathe in panic. I did not want to know how much faster this newer formula worked, and I did not want to find out.
David hit me across my face with the back of his hand, sending me into a wall of rocks. Getting up shakily, I realized that we were still outside. Standing my ground, I waited for David, not breathing.
"Bella, you really should give in, it's not in our nature to resist human blood you know. I'm only doing you a favor," Leo said. "Whatever those Cullens told you, is not the right way of life."
"Shut up! You don't dictate how I live," I spat. David took this moment to deal a blow to my abdomen, causing me to gasp. Unthinking in the midst of pain, I inhaled.
Succulent. Sweet. It's pure blood cried for me.
No! This isn't me! I yelled at myself, shaking my head.
Oh, so many ways to drain that human of blood, how should I go about it?
Remember that girl! I wanted to save her, you can save yourself from this human! Save this life from them!
Still blinded in my vision, I struggled against the primal urges in me, the need to satiate my thirst was getting harder to resist.
"Yes, that's a good girl, give in," I heard from someone. I latched onto that voice as it grounded me in reality. The words he uttered caused so much anger in me, raw, pure unadulterated hate.
Why should I give in to you?! I wanted to yell at him.
"Yes, why should you give in, Bella?" another voice—within my own mind—told me. "Don't tell him, he'll try to destroy you. You're stronger than this. You are as strong as me, love."
I closed my eyes, focusing on his voice to prevent myself from giving into the monster I was. I remembered the day I walked into the Biology room, his anger showed clearly on his face, his thirst overpowering his senses. I knew I was like that right now, and I had to do what I can to resist.
Images of me kissing Edward, cuddling against his cold, hard body, while he ignored his impulses to end my life.
Ignoring the pull of the human's blood, I remained where I was, moving not a twitch. I knew I had to hold out as long as I could. After I deemed safe in not taking a step forward, I took the blindfold off, glaring hatefully at the human man before me, reminding me how Edward appeared to me in that first science class. He looked terrified. I noticed belatedly that all of us, save the human, were glittering brightly in the sunlight. My own reflected onto the human, making myself appear even more inhuman.
"Don't worry," I murmured with a smile, "I'm trying."
I looked around, trying to figure out where I was as the human spoke.
"What are you trying?" he asked and I looked back at him, daring not to breathe too much in his presence.
"Not to kill you," I answered. "Where are we?"
Before the human could answer, Leo ran forward and snapped his neck and fell to the ground with a thump—he lasted less than a second. I looked up at Leo, who looked disappointed, and I felt resigned. There was no way I could have saved the human.
"I was sure this formula would work... it almost did, didn't it?" he asked me.
I remained silent, not wanting him to speed up his research, or start producing the formula that was used on me. I feared for Alice's sanity, and other vegetarian vampires. Leo sighed and walked away, gesturing to David with a hand, signaling something. David walked forward and before I could react, he chained me up quickly, it nearly became a blur.
"We're leaving, we need to stay on the move," Leo said as David hauled me back to the plane.
Panic set in. We were going back on the plane.
"I'm not going with you! Just let me go!" I yelled, thrashing in David's arms.
"I'll let you go when I feel like it," Leo said with a smirk. "Blindfold, please."
"Leo!" I growled, squirming as Andrew put on the blindfold. Before I was cloaked in darkness again, I realized there were six other vampires in Leo's company. No chance of escaping.
Crash the plane, came the morbid thought as I started planning again. Crash it. Make it burn, kill Leo.
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