I woke up a few hours later, still slightly dazed. The blanket fell onto my lap as I sat up quickly. My eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, before I groggily shook my head. I was still tired, but I swung my legs over the couch and stood up. I attempted to see what the clock said, but my vision was still blurry. I think it was around five in the morning. Damn. Sine when did I wake up this early? Or maybe it's still the day before. Or maybe it's been a few days...Ugh. I couldn't tell and all this thinking was making my head hurt again. I musta had a concussion or something, because my head was throbbing every time I tried to move. I decided it would be best if I just rested on the couch for a little while.

I leaned back, kicking off the blanket and putting my hand over my eyes. A few hours passed, the light began to filter in through the front door. It suddenly slammed open, making me jump in surprise. Two-Bit and Steve lumbered through the door, smiles on their faces.

"Heya, Kaylyn," Two-Bit smiled and walked over to me. "Looks like you're a bit out of commission, eh?"

"Ha ha." I rolled my eyes. I hadn't missed Two-Bit's sense of humor at all. Well, I don't think I did. Okay, maybe I did. Okay, I did! I missed his stupid, annoying laugh and his retarded jokes. I was so used to hearing them every day and night, whenever I was around him. Ever since I was put in the hospital, I hadn't heard him joke around as much. Especially not with Dally around. Dally was gonna teach me how to fight. Wouldn't that be interesting. But how? I was already injured as it was, getting into fights wouldn't help me any.

"Shut up, you guys, Pony's still sleepin'," Sodapop came out of the kitchen, dressed in his DX shirt. Steve smirked at me, while I glared back at him., So what if I stared at Soda a little bit? Everyone knew I liked him. "How're you doin', Kaylyn?" Soda sat next to me, extremely close to me, which made my heart lurch in my chest. I could feel the butterflies begin to build up.

"I'm fine. Is Ponyboy sick?" I asked. He had been sleeping since yesterday, I dunno if he woke up to eat or not. Soda nodded his head.

"Yeah, we think so. He's not goin' to school today. We need somebody to watch him, but Two-Bit's has to go to school. Me an' Darry are thinkin' about staying home today-"

"What am I, chopped liver? I can take care of 'im!" I huffed up, puffing out my cheeks and crossing my arms. I felt fine this morning, the headache had gone away completely. I felt like I could run a mile! Was he saying he didn't trust me with Ponyboy, all alone? Or maybe Darry didn't trust me. All I knew was that both of them had to go to work so they could eat and have a house.

"We couldn't ask you to do that. You're still sick yourself, y'know-" Soda tried to get out a full sentence, but again I interrupted.

"I ain't sick! Slightly injured, but not sick! I can take care of Ponyboy for today! I ain't just gonna keel over!" Everything was silent after that. My glare remained on Sodapop, who was looking more guilty by the second. I hated seeing him like that, but I wasn't going to give in. I was fine, and I can take care of Ponyboy.

"I think she can do it, just let her for one day. Pony can take care of himself, too, Soda." Two-Bit stared at me. He must've felt Sodapop's guilt, 'cause he was kind of giving me that look that said 'Don't ever say that again.' Steve was kinda glaring at me, too. Sodapop was probably gonna be upset all day because of what I said...But wait! I didn't say anything mean towards him! All I said was I wouldn't keel over if they left...

i'He was real worried about you, Didn't stop worrying about you the whole damn time you were in the hospital. ' /i

Steve's words echoed in my head for a second. He was worried about me the whole time I was in the Hospital. There had been a big chance I could've died from all my wounds. Damn it! Why was I so good at saying the wrong things?

"Soda, I didn't-"

"Don't worry. I'll tell Darry you'll watch Ponyboy for us." Soda smiled, but I could just tell it was fake. He was thinking about what happened to me, he was replaying the whole scene in his head now. I could tell he was. The look of sadness and pain, the kind that someone shows when they lose someone close, was obvious in his eyes. I began to feel guilty. Soda stood up, waling off into the kitchen.

"Kaylyn-" Steve growled, but I held up my hand.

"I know, okay?" I snapped. "I was an idiot, and I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'm sorry, okay? But I was just mad. You people are acting like I did die and I came back. Like I was on the edge of life and death, I was choosing. Like I was on the thin line of-"

"You were!" Steve shouted back. I recoiled, backing away from the now infuriated Steve. "You did die! You stopped breathing for fifteen whole minutes, and that was the worst fifteen minutes of Soda's life! He was crying over you. The doctors came back and told us they had got you breathing again, but Soda was still crying. He almost lost you and Sandy, Kaylyn! Do you know what that can do to a guy? If you had given up for even a split second, Soda wouldn't ever be happy again. We can all tell he wouldn't. That's why he stayed by your side." I had never heard Steve talk so passionately about something, and honestly never wanted to hear him talk like that again.

"He did...He was with me the whole time? Goddamn it!" Nobody could tell me anything anymore. I felt so mad at Steve, but now I felt mad at myself. How could I say that to him? How insensitive could I be? Very, apparently. I didn't need to feel Steve's glare, so I stood up and walked after Sodapop. He really cared about me...

"S-Soda?" I murmured nervously, opening the door to his and Pony's room. He didn't turned around, he remained standing over Ponyboy.

"You'll be okay, Pony, don't worry. Kaylyn's gonna watch you for us, 'kay? Ask her for anything." Pony's eyes opened, and I knew he had seen me. I put a finger over my mouth, to which he just blinked his eyes at. I guess that meant 'I'll keep quiet.'

"Why're you crying, Soda?" Ponyboy asked in a groggy voice. Man, he really was sick. Pony's cheeks were flushed red. Soda shook his head.

"I ain't cryin', Ponyboy."

"Yeah, you are. I can feel it. Are you worried about Kaylyn?" I bit my bottom lip, staring at the back of Soda's head as I waited for him to reply.

"Naw. S-she's just a bit mad at me right now..." Soda let out a small sigh, but tried to cover it with a laugh. We both knew better than that.

"She ain't mad at you. Kaylyn could never be mad at you..." I flushed. Ponyboy...how much did he know about me an' Soda's relationship? Was there even a relationship there? I couldn't tell now. He kissed me...twice. He kissed me, an' I kissed him. We both kissed back. Does that me he has feelings for me, or is he just playing me for a fool? No. It wasn't in Soda's personality to do something as bad as that. I felt a bit sick at the moment, kind of guilty, too.

"Kaylyn?" I jumped up, turning in surprise to face the oldest Curtis brother. "Is Soda in there? Tell him we have to leave now." Darry turned away from me, walking away from the door. I sure hoped he didn't find that weird of me, leaning against the door and spying on Pony and Soda.

"Sodapop!" I opened the door, this time I had confidence. "Darry said it's time to go." He nodded, leaning down and hugging Ponyboy before he walked over to me.

"Just relax, Pony, okay?" Ponyboy nodded. Sodapop tried to walk past me after that, but I wasn't going to let him get away that easily. I closed the door to the room. I grabbed Soda's sleeve, successfully making him stop. He wouldn't face me though. I wasn't going to let go until he said something to me. I didn't know what to do, now, I had had a plan awhile ago, but now I just don't know. I tugged back his sleeve, forcing to turn him around and face me. Soda glanced at me, my brown eyes stared into his deep blue ones.

"You never left my side." I murmured. "You stayed with me the whole time." He looked at me, sadness...I hated seeing him like that. I hated when people were sad, but when it was Sodapop, it made it so much worse. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him tightly to my chest. I didn't care if he didn't hug back. I loved him. I was going to show him I cared, no matter what happened. No matter how stupid I was, I would always care about him. I think he got the clue, because he wrapped one arm around my waist and buried his face in my neck.

"Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you just have to. Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love. And sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts, but then just sometimes... you get it back and live happily ever after." He whispered. "I didn't wanna lose you, so I was going to stay with you until you got better. Then you stopped breathing...and everything went downhill...I couldn't sleep or eat until they were postive you were gonna live. If you died...I dunno what would've happened to me." Soda let out a shaky breath, his head never leaving my shoulder. Oh, Sodapop. You're so much more than I deserve...

"Oh, Soda..." I don't know why, but a few tears slipped down my cheek. I'd never felt this way before. Sodapop was so much more than just some guy. He's sweet and loving, caring and just wonderful. He was gorgeous guy who loved me. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve to be happy.

"Kaylyn..." Soda had pulled away, his hand resting on my cheek. I continued to cry, whimpering softly so the others didn't hear me. Why, why, why? I didn't want to be in love. It was such a wonderful, magical feeling, but with it came pain. We weren't even going out, it was just mindless flirting. Him staying by my side could've just been brotherly love. But he kissed me, he said he cared about me. I felt so upset and confused. "Don't cry." I shook my head, a smile coming onto my face.

"I don't deserve you. I don't deserve to know you!" I pulled away from his touch, trying to wipe my eyes. I knew they were gonna be red and teary, so they would be able to tell I was crying. Maybe I should just stay back with Ponyboy...

"Hush. I have to go, but I'll be back soon, okay?" Soda softly brushed back my hair, pressing his lips to my forehead before leaving me standing in the hallway, surprised. He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not...I smiled happily to myself.

"He loves me."