Title: Vicissitudes

Author: BurningSilence

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I think we all know the answer to this by now.

Summary: Just see the first chapter ^_^

Chapter IX: Of Dreams and Nightmares

New Sheoth hadn't changed all that much since Felicienne was last there; the Flame of Agnon burned over the Sacellum for Dementia, the districts were still with out their respective duchies…

"Stop him! He stole my Calming Pants!"

…and the citizens were still as mad as ever.

Felicienne saw someone running away from 'Things Found' and heading towards the gate to Bliss, of which she had the misfortune of being in front of. As the thief neared her, she reached out and grabbed him by the neck of his shirt before he could pass her completely. She sighed when she recognized him.

"Fimmion," she began, glaring at the beggar. "You told me that if I gave you a sweet roll, Ahjazda could have the Calming Pants. And now I come back to find you stealing them?"

The wood elf looked down, "Fimmion is sorry, Lord. Please don't send Fimmion to Aichan. Fimmion is just cold; Fimmion would like his pants back."

She sighed, "You need to give the Pants back to Ahjazda, otherwise the Seducers will get involved and they won't go easy on you. They'll put you in Corpserot since you'd be arrested here, in Crucible." Felicienne went through her back and pulled out a few gold pieces. "If you promise not to steal again, I'll give you these coins so you can buy another pair of pants and maybe even a sweet roll. Alright?"

Fimmion's ears perked up at the mention of food. "Sweet roll? Maybe…two sweet rolls? Fimmion is soooo hungry. SA-WHEEEEEET ROLLL!"

Felicienne rolled her eyes, "Yes, yes! You can have two sweet rolls Fimmion, and a pair of pants. But that's if you return Ahjazda's Pants to her. Now."

"Yes, Fimmion will return the cat's Pants back to her, and then Sheogorath will give Fimmion his own pants and sweet rolls!" and before Felicienne could correct the Bosmer, he ran off back to 'Things Found'.

"Hey! I said I'll give you money so you could buy them!" she called out after him. She slumped against the city wall in defeat. "I'll just give him the coins and he can do with them as he pleases."

She didn't have to wait long before Fimmion came back, and Felicienne had to, again, explain that she was giving Fimmion coins so he could buy his trousers and sweet rolls. And if there was any money left over, he was allowed to keep it.

"Now go back to Bliss, and don't take things that don't belong to you!" she scolded as he started to scamper away.

"Thank you, Lord Sheogorath! Sheogorath is as merciful as He is wise," the beggar praised as he ran off.

'I'm a woman…' she thought when she realized he called her a 'he'. Apparently, since she defeated Jyggalag, the residents of the Shivering Isles seemed to think she actually was Sheogorath. The old one. Well, everyone except Haskill, but she suspected that that was because he was actually there when she assumed power. She snorted; it had been Haskill who'd helped her do it. If it hadn't been for Haskill, she wasn't sure she'd have been able to kill Jyggalag. As it was, she was still convinced that it was just an insane stroke of luck on her part.

Even the Mazken and Aureal seemed to think she was the same Sheogorath they'd served under before. Perhaps they all thought that Sheogorath just assumed a different form.

She shook her head as she started to walk towards the palace; she wondered if Haskill would be mad at her for being gone so long. Not that he'd act differently than he usually did; he always seemed annoyed or irritated at something.

When she arrived in the courtyard to New Sheoth Palace, she gazed up at the stairs miserably…there was always so much walking. Up the stairs, down the stairs…they should have a teleportation pad installed. The Mages' Guild had one, why couldn't they?

'That'll be my next decree,' she mused. 'We're putting in a pad and that's final. I don't care if Haskill will think it'll pose a security threat…who's going to attack? The Heretics? The Golden Saints would have them neutralized before they even made it to Bliss. And if they somehow decided attacking from Dementia was a better plan…well, I don't even want to think about what the Seducers would do to them.'

"Welcome back, Lord Sheogorath!" one of the Aureal guards greeted. She nodded to the Daedra and continued up the steps. When she arrived at the top, she wondered which door she should go through. After all, there were two. Hoping the Mazken wouldn't take it as an insult; she entered through the side of Mania. Now, she needed to speak with her chamberlain and see if there was anything here that required her immediate attention that had come up while she was away.

She hoped there wasn't.

Although, if there was, after she dealt with it her 'subjects' would send her a tribute. She'd be able to replace the potions she broke when she dropped her satchel at Cloud Ruler. Which she'd need to do anyway…especially considering how mediocre her healing spells were.

It was then as she began walking up to Haskill that she remembered she could actually summon him; she was still getting used to this whole 'Madgod' business. She shook her head at herself, and then yelled, "Hello, Haskill! Anything I should be worried about?"

The man shook his head, still sporting his ever-dour expression as he replied, "No, it's seems as if all is peaceful in the Shivering Isles. Will wonders ever cease?"

It didn't seem to matter how cheerful she was, or how nice she was; he was always rather acerbic. The most she'd ever gotten out of him was a small grin before it quickly shifted back to his normal frown.

"You're such a ray of sunshine, Haskill," she muttered, pointedly. Truthfully, she liked Haskill; he was the only one here who didn't fawn all over her.

"I do live to serve, my Lord. Oh, and by the way, You have received a letter from Relmyna Verenim while you were away…You do remember her, don't You?"

Felicienne sighed. Of course she remembered Relmyna; the ex-mage who built the Gatekeeper, who enjoyed torturing people in the name of research…and let's not forget, she was now slightly obsessed with the new Madgod.

She took the sealed letter from Haskill, walked over to her throne, and sat down to read it:

My Beloved Sheogorath,

I hope this letter finds you well, I do miss you terribly. I know your duties keep you busy, but any message from you would be welcome; even if it needs to be delivered by that fool, Haskill.

You'd be so proud of our child. Whenever I visit him in the Fringe, I always find the fresh corpses of irritating adventurers who've come seeking glory. Pests. They always look like they've died quite painfully, if the state of their remains is anything to go by. Sometimes, though, I wish that he'd leave one or two alive, so I may have some new test subjects; the ones I have here are becoming tedious. They're bodies are nearly worn out from the constant revival I must put them through. I fear they may be tainting my experiments.

Enough about that though, I'm sure you have much more to do than to listen to my petty problems.

If it is not to forward of me, (and I understand you have many duties), I would very much like for you to visit me in Xaselm. If only for a few moments.

Yours Eternally,

Relmyna

Felicienne looked over to Haskill in askance. "So…do you think I should go?"

"I would never presume to tell You what You should or should not do, my Lord."

She gave him a sideways glance before she tried again, "I know that, Haskill. I would just like your opinion on the matter."

"My opinion on the matter is not relevant, Lord."

"You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?" she muttered. She let out a long sigh, "I guess it can't hurt to go see what she wants…other than to see me-er, Sheogorath. This is getting confusing. I'll go to Xaselm tomorrow."

"That is Your prerogative, my Lord."

Felicienne buried her face in her hands and screamed.

The Madgod decided to take a bit of a walk in the Fountainhead underneath the palace before she went to bed. At first, when Haskill and told her Sheogorath had spent many hours doing the same thing, she'd thought it strange. But after being able to walk around the Fountainhead with out having to worry about the Knights or Priests of Order, she found it quite enjoyable.

She typically walked around the Pool of Dementia; it suited her darker moods, which was why she felt the need to go on a walk. Back in Cyrodiil she couldn't really go on a walk to relax, especially since the roads had become increasingly more dangerous. There was even talk about Oblivion Gates opening up all over the province. But here…here she could walk around, with out any fear of Daedra, Gates…or being followed.

She wasn't sure why, but there were times when she'd be carrying on as she usually did, that she felt she was being watched. And that feeling never settled well with her. While she was in the Shivering Isles, she knew if she wanted to be alone, she'd be alone. Her thoughts were her own here.

She began walking up the stairs to the little sitting area that was near the pool. She'd been walking around for roughly three hours, barefoot, so she welcomed the break. Her feet and legs were wet with the water from the Demented pool, and she couldn't be bothered to dry off. Besides, it was almost a pleasant temperature in the cave.

As she sat down in a plush dining chair, she felt sleep begin to tug at her eyes. She fought her exhaustion, at first, but soon let herself slump over and fall asleep.

"What have you been doing, Puppet?"

Felicienne looked around, not recognizing where she was. A small home, it looked like. It was very cold, she could feel herself shivering. She looked in front of her; there was a woman…she was tall…possibly an Altmer. It has hard to tell; she was wearing a hood that obscured her face. She could see the woman wasn't alone; it looked as if she had two…no, three other companions…and there was something else, something behind her…

The woman seemed to understand what it was Felicienne was trying to see. She smiled and told her in, what she assumed, was supposed to be a reassuring tone, "You don't need to worry about that anymore. We've taken care of the situation."

A shrouded man then turned to her and gave her an eerie smile, "You're like a gift from the Night Mother…so beautiful…"

Then she was assaulted by a foul smell; the stench was so strong Felicienne had to fight the urge to vomit. It was like the odor that lingered in her former home…but so much stronger. The sound of flies buzzing about nearly deafened her as she walked through the hellish maze.

There were words, then. Words that originated from nowhere, but seemed to reverberate all around her:

"It's almost over…I promise…as you lie the dark man comes and makes you die…

When in the snow I like to lie and fold my arms and wait to die."

…killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim…

She looked around for a possible exit, but it seemed as if she were trapped…

In the next instant, she was outside…it was dark out, and balmy. Despite the moderate temperature, she could feel icy tendrils crawling up her spine…a presence that was curiously familiar…

'It's so cold…' she thought, terror gripping at her heart. 'Why? Why am I so afraid?'

She tried to steady her breathing until she felt harsh hands grab her arms roughly.

"I thought I could get here in time...I thought I could stop you!" a man screamed at her. "What madness has claimed you? You've betrayed us!"

"Let go! You're hurting me!" she cried as she struggled to free herself.

"I trusted you! I put all my faith in you…since the very beginning…and you betrayed me!" he shouted as his grip on her tightened even more. But…it was curious…the man sounded rather pained as he spoke. His voice sounded so familiar…she looked up as he continued to accost her. It was…Lucien?

"Why?" he continued, looking wounded. How had she betrayed…anyone? What was happening? She wanted to wake up; she wanted to be away from this nightmare as soon as possible. The pressure on one of her arms lessened. Suddenly, she felt the steel of a sharp blade press at her throat. If she continued to thrash about, it would wind up slitting her throat.

"I'm here to end your miserable life, to…"

"Please stop! What's going on?" she pleaded. Was he really going to kill her? What could she have done to warrant this…? She felt herself whimper in terror as he pressed the knife closer…

His expression softened, and he brought his blade down. "You…have no idea what I'm talking about…do you?"

A message came to her in her fear, unbidden and indecipherable:

!eid lliw ecnahcaL neicuL

Felicienne jolted awake, her hand flying to her throat. She desperately tried to recall the last thing she saw…but already the image was eluding her, slipping away from her mind in her wakefulness.

She did remember Lachance's face, and wasn't it curious how she referred to him freely as Lucien in her dream but she couldn't seem to do so while awake, and how angry he was. And how…frightened he seemed to be. She may not have known the Speaker well, but she had a feeling he wasn't someone who scared easily.

She shook herself, as if she were trying to dislodge the very impression of her dream from her head. She did not want to think; she had too much to do already. However, she would cut her visit to the Shivering Isles short; she would stay until tomorrow, and after she visited Relmyna Verenim, she would return to Cheydinhal. And hopefully everything would be as she left it.

Sometimes…it felt as if this place did strange things to her. Perhaps being around all of this insanity was leaving an imprint on her…or…maybe she was wrong to throw her lot in with Dementia.

But what ever it was, she would not be sleeping down here anymore…that was for certain.

Unable to fall back asleep, even in the Duchess' quarters in the House of Dementia, Felicienne took a walk around New Sheoth. Wandering around, she made her way to the Sacellum of Arden-Sul, hoping she'd be able to wear herself out.

Walking into the chapel since she lit the Flame for Dementia was a tad…creepy, for lack of a better term. There was a purple rug and ran down the middle of the aisle, and bloodstains on the wooden floor. And if you looked up from the bloodstains, you'd see several bodies hanging upside down. She supposed they had something to do with the sermons that Arctus was so fond of.

"Listen not to the blasphemous Manics; their minds are clouded by alcohol and Greenmote! They would have you talk your enemies to death; reciting poems and useless soliloquies to them. They are too wrapped up in their self-indulgences to see what is going on behind their backs…"

Felicienne sat down in a worship pew and just listened to Arctus' sermon, which just seemed to consist of new and inventive ways of torturing people. At least it wasn't Dervenin; everything he said tended to be a little too…flowery, for her tastes.

As she listened, her mind began to drift back over her dream. She tried to remember specific details about what she'd seen, but she was having a hard time recalling them. She could remember fear, and a smell…like something had died.

'killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim…'

She shivered as the thought came to her against her will. 'Kill who?' she thought, rubbing her hands together in a futile attempt to warm them. It seemed that since she received that particular dream, a perpetual chill had taken hold of her.

She remembered snow…and a cottage. There were people, but she didn't recognize any of them. Not until the next scene in her dream...she knew her attacker was Lachance. He'd looked so angry, but she had no idea what had rattled him so. She began to fiddle with her shirt as she continued to probe her mind for information.

She slumped against the back of the pew; there was a chance that the dream was just rubbish. It wasn't as if she was a known clairvoyant. In fact, the only person that she knew of in her family who had visions was her uncle. And that little 'gift' was what most people speculated made her mother's brother kill himself.

If it was a vision, there was little she could do about it; besides wait for the circumstances to present themselves…

'killhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhimkillhim…'

Another shudder; for some reason, this line stuck out the most to her. That, and the smell. That awful stench that reminded you of a butchers' shop; the stale scent of blood and flesh; and a disembodied voice carrying strange messages into her mind.

She sighed; these thoughts would be better for another day. Right now, she needed to put it out of her mind before she met with Relmyna tomorrow.

The way to Xaselm hadn't been all that bad in its entirety. Sure, there were a couple rough spots…mostly caused by a few grummites and baliwogs, but it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. Fortunately she was able to access Relmyna's 'home' from the back entrance, and she didn't have to deal with her little 'guardians' that ran amok in the front.

While she was sitting in Relmyna's experiment chambers, her mind kept wandering to the previous night as Relmyna prattled on about the pros and cons of 'exchanging' a starved hunger's blood with an Elf maiden's blood. Apparently, the hunger's draining spell was more potent, but its body was physically weaker and therefore died after only a few minutes.

It seemed as though Relmyna just wanted to visit with her; she was probably tired of only having Nanette for company. Unlike the other residents of the Shivering Isles; Relmyna, while still treating Felicienne like the old Sheogorath, seemed to retain the knowledge that Felicienne hadn't always been the Madgod. Perhaps the Dunmer saw Felicienne as an avatar of sorts.

In any case, it made speaking with Relmyna far easier than it was to speak to the other inhabitants of the Realm.

"Is there something on your mind, my Lord?" came the unusually soft voice of the ex-mage.

'She must have noticed me daydreaming,' the girl thought. She shook her head to dispel any concern the Dark Elf might have had and answered, "It's nothing, I'm just thinking about a dream I had last night."

"What sort of dream, if you don't mind me asking," the older woman questioned. She took a seat next to the young girl and placed a cautious hand on her knee. Felicienne was still so absorbed in her own thoughts she barely registered the feel of the hand through her purple gown.

"It felt like a premonition," she murmured softly. She could practically hear her mother sobbing at the news. Everyone knew that clairvoyants fell into madness after only a few years. The visions would come with more and more frequency, they would be harder to block, and soon after that it would be impossible to do so. They would become more vivid and then the voices would start. That was what happened with her mother's little brother and Felicienne was afraid that it may also happen to her.

However, most seers started receiving visions before they reached their adolescence. Felicienne was an adult and had only one 'vision', and she couldn't even be sure to label it as such. Unfortunately, it looked as if she'd need to wait it out and see if it came true.

That idea didn't settle well with her.

She looked up again and saw Relmyna looking at her expectantly. Felicienne winced, the woman must have asked a question and she hadn't been paying attention.

"I apologize, Relmyna. My thoughts ran away with me again. What was it you asked?" Felicienne asked.

"I was just inquiring where you had this vision. While I was doing research with the Mages' Guild," and Felicienne noticed Relmyna stated that last part with a bit of a snarl, "one of the topics that had come up was the effects a certain area may have on psychics and their dreams. It was determined during the course of the research project that, while someone may not actually be a seer, if they have any family history it's possible that if a place is imbued with enough magicka it can, in a sense, strengthen those recessive qualities and manifest prophetic dreams. However, the Mages' Guild put a stop to that project; they were afraid too many people would try to 'force' premonitions."

It was strange; that was possibly the most coherent, (and least sadistic), she'd ever heard Relmyna speak. Felicienne nodded absently as she mumbled that she'd had her dream in the Fountainhead underneath New Sheoth Palace. "Hmm," she started. "That place would have enough magick to force a vision, wouldn't it?"

"Of course it would! That's why you can recharge your staff at the Fountain behind your throne," Relmyna stated, sounding slightly impatient. Felicienne rubbed the back of her neck, feeling a little foolish now.

Really, she should have been able to think of that herself.

"Is it permanent?" she questioned, a little afraid of the answer. Not only would it be terribly inconvenient to receive visions uncontrollably, but she had no desire to fit in that well with the people of the Shivering Isles.

"Hmm, it shouldn't be," the woman replied, slowly. "If you want any definitive answers, I'll need to perform some tests. That is, if you'll permit me access to the Fountainhead and allow me to bring around…four test subjects with me." The Dunmer had a lazy smirk forming on her face as she made her 'request'.

The way Relmyna said that made Felicienne uneasy, but what other choice did she have at this point. As it was, she needed to get back to Cyrodiil, today, and check in at the Sanctuary…she was probably going to regret this:

"How much time do you need?"

Relmyna's face brightened and her voice became almost…chipper, "A week, maybe two at the most! Oh, thank you Sheogorath!"

Felicienne sighed, "I need to leave, I probably won't be back in New Sheoth before your tests are completed, so take this ring," she handed the small piece of jewelry to the red-haired woman, "and show it to Haskill. He knows it's mine and tell him I've given you access to the Pools of Madness. He shouldn't give you any problems."

The girl stood up and made her way to the exit of Xaselm, wondering what kind of torment she doomed Relmyna's test subjects to for two whole weeks.

A/N: Alright, finally; an update! I'm sorry this took so long, I tried to get this out in a timely manner, but it took much longer than expected. I struggled a bit with this chapter, but it's finally here. I hope you all enjoy this chapter ^_^ I also want to thank everyone who's either reviewed or put 'Vicissitudes' on their Story Alert, it really means a lot to me.