Chapter Eight, part two- Knife Edge
Bella's Point of View
I was already at the desk when Jacob and Edward dashed in after me.
"Bella." They both said at the same time, Jacob's tone angry, Edward's relieved.
The secretary raised her eyebrows at me, then her eyes wandered past me to see Edward. Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes widened. For some reason, I felt a flicker of anger.
"Hello?" I said pointedly.
"Uh hu?" She finally tore her eyes away from Edward. "Um…Hello?"
"Hello- my baby's been cut." I said.
"Name?" She drawled, fluttering her eyelashes at Edward.
So what? I though viciously. She was open to the stupid vampire. Maybe she would be good enough for him. "Her name is Lyra Black."
She tapped some keys on the computer, her name tag swinging forward so that I could read it. June. That was a stupid name anyway.
She looked up to smile at me, trying to look good for Edward. "Okay, thanks. Can you go and wait over there, please?" She'd turned away before she'd even finished speaking. "Can I help you?" She asked Edward, the double meaning clear.
She reminded me forcibly of a waitress Edward and I had once had. That had been the bad part of going out with Edward Cullen. Everywhere you went, you were looked down on.
I stalked over to the chairs she had motioned to, grabbing a magazine and pulling it open on a random page.
"No, thank you." Edward said quietly, then came and sat in the chair opposite me.
"Oh get lost, will you?" Jacob cried, flinging himself into the chair beside me and glowering at Edward. "Bella wants you to go too- don't you, Bells?"
Did I? I thought I did. But what if this was the last chance that i ever got to see him ever again? I couldn't bear that thought.
"Just say the word, Bella." Edward said quietly.
I didn't answer, shutting my eyes and rubbing my hand over my forehead.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked anxiously.
"I'm fine!" I hissed.
People around us were staring. Not that you didn't get stared at if you went anywhere with Edward, but now, with Jake growling under his breath, Lyra screaming, Edward's beauty and my frustration- we were the centre of attention.
Which was not a place I enjoyed to be.
"Lyra Black?" I looked up at the sound of my daughters name. A nurse was stood above us. She was an older women, in her mid fifties, I thought, with a frizzy mop of grey hair, and kind blue eyes. I was glad she wasn't young and pretty.
"Yes, that's us." I said, jumping up. "I'm Bella Black."
The nurse looked expectantly at Edward, who had risen with me, guessing that he was the father.
Jacob leapt to his feet, his face red as he elbowed Edward out of the way. "I'm the father, actually." He glared at Edward. "Jacob Black."
The nurse smiled politely at him. "Well if you follow me, I'll check up on your daughter."
She led us through the broad corridors to a room filled with rows of beds. We all crowded around it, and she pulled the curtains shut, shutting out the other curious nurses.
"My names Nurse Outlaw. I just need to check out you're daughter's arm."
"Okay." I nodded, and held Lyra out to her.
The nurse took her carefully, and stretched out her arm, examining the cut. "Hmmm…this is a bit nasty." She looked up. "How did you do it?"
My mind went blank. "She…She…" I looked at Jacob, but he just shrugged helplessly.
"She's just learning to walk." Edward lied smoothly. "We were letting her toddle around a bit, and she got a little over excited and fell over. You know what they're like at that age." He stopped to smile and roll his eyes, adding to the effect. "We weren't sure how bad it is, but we decided it's better to be safe than sorry, don't you agree?"
"Defiantly." The nurse nodded. She seemed to swallow his story, and went back to examining her arm. "You never can be too careful at that age."
I nodded, and looked admiringly at Edward. He caught my eye, and, for one moment, I was lost in the beauty of his eyes, the gentle spiral of the pupil, the perfect curve of his eyelashes…
I blinked, and looked away, blushing.
"Well, this looks pretty deep." The nurse said, sighing. "I think she's going to need stitches, but we'll need a doctor for that. I'll go and get him, shall I?"
I nodded, and thanked her as she disappeared around the curtain, and I breathed out in relief.
There was one beat of silence, then Edward spoke. "Bella?"
"Yes?" I replied tightly, still not looking at him.
"Don't you think you should get checked out, too?"
I frowned. "No. Why?"
"You've had a shock." He said earnestly. "I think you should go and…"
I stopped listening. He just wanted to get rid of me. All this dumb pretending to care was all just a load of rubbish.
"I'm fine." I said curtly.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"She said she was fine, alright?" Jacob snapped, standing up. "Get over it."
Edward stood up, too, squaring up to Jacob.
"Oh for God's sake- sit down both of you." I sighed. I grabbed Jacob's shoulder and yanked him down, then reached out, intending to do the same to Edward- but I stopped myself at the last moment, my hand curling into a fist as I placed it back in my lap.
Edward noticed. I could see him frowning out of the corner of my eye, but I daren't look at him.
It was another five minuets before the doctor and Nurse Outlaw reappeared.
"Well, hello, hello, hello!" The doctor sang cheerfully, ripping back the curtain to beam at us all. "How are we all today?"
Jacob grunted.
Not seeming to notice the tense mood, the doctor stepped forward, standing in front of me with his arms locked behind his back.
"This is the little casualty, is it?" He chuckled. "That's a nasty one."
"Is it really bad?" I asked anxiously, and I heard Jacob's breath stop.
"We've had worse." The doctor assured me. "But never the less, she will need stitches, and she'll probably have a scar."
"But I'll be able to take her home today?"
"Yes."
I breathed out in relief, and glanced up to smile at Jacob. Lyra whimpered in my arms, and I stroked her hair.
"You're okay, baby." I cooed. "You're going to be fine."
"I can do her stitches here, if you would like." The doctor offered.
"Thank you."
The nurse disappeared to go and get everything ready, while the doctor talked us through it.
"I'll give her an injection so that her senses are dulled, then I'll stitch it. This will need about…five, I'd say."
"Can I hold her while they're doing it?" Jacob asked. I hesitated. I wanted to hold her, but I knew it wasn't really fair. She was his daughter as well.
Glumly, I held her out to him, and he took her, cradling her carefully.
The space was so small and cramped that I had no choice but to go and stand next to Edward. I could feel the coldness of his skin radiating off him, and shivered, tears welling up in my eyes.
How many times had I wished that I could feel that cool skin again? How many tears had I wasted over him? And now that I had my wish- that he had finally come back- I couldn't even look at him.
My eyes were blurred with tears, my hands shaking- and I hated him. I truly, truly hated him. Because he was still so young and perfect, locked in his teens for ever- while I was older, and still so plain and boring.
"She's going to be fine." Edward murmured, his velvet voice comforting me. I shut my eyes, and played a game in my head. I imagined that I was seventeen again and that he'd never left. This wasn't mine and Jacob's child- it was mine and Edward's.
I imagined that he still loved me, still held me every night, still whispered words in to my ear as I slept…
He made it easier, taking my hand and holding it in his freezing grasp as I waited. Jacob didn't look up once, his eyes fixed on our daughter, squeezing her hand every time she moaned.
Finally, the doctor stood back with a satisfied smile on her face, and I ripped my hand from Edward's hand with out a second thought.
I regretted it at once, wishing I was back with him, in my imaginary game- but I forced myself to walk towards Lyra and Jacob.
He didn't love me. I had to remember that. I couldn't let myself fall back into that old trap called love. Lyra was all that mattered now.
"Thank you." I said to the doctor as he walked past with the nurse. They both stopped at the door to wave to Lyra, then ducked under the curtain and walked away.
"They did a neat job, there." Jacob murmured, his soft fingers stroking along the cut.
I nodded, and Jacob stood up, smiling. "Do you want me to drive you home?" He asked me.
My mind was whirling. Did I want him to drive me home? Home, to that ugly, small house that was filled with sad and lonely memories? The answer was easy.
No.
But then where else could I go? I was too shaken up, too scared to go and live alone, knowing that Victoria knew exactly where I was. What if she attacked again? What if, next time, we weren't so lucky?
I hugged Lyra closer to me. I could never put her in danger again.
"No, thank you." I answered Jacob clearly.
He looked blank. "What?"
"I'm not going home."
"What?" This time, it wasn't Jake who spoke. Edward fought his way forward, and stared incredulously at me.
My face flushed. "I'm not going home. I'm going to Phoenix." The idea came to me suddenly, and as soon as I said it, I knew it was a good idea.
"Phoenix?" Jacob repeated blankly.
"It's where her mother lives." Edward said quietly, and Jacob scowled at him.
"I know that, blood sucker- but why would you want to go there now?"
"I want to see my mum."
Jacob shook his head firmly. "No way. Until I know for sure that that filthy vampire is dead- you and Silver are staying with me."
"No way!" I protested furiously. I wasn't going to be baby-sat like some insolent toddler!
"No one thinks you're incapable, Bella." Edward said, and I looked up to find his eyes on my face. Even after all this time, he could still read my face like an open book.
"And besides," He added, "I need to keep an eye on you, too."
Anger exploded up inside of me. How dare he? How dare he? How could he come in like this and break my heart again, acting like he actually cared whether I lived or died? I opened my mouth furiously, but Jacob got in there first.
"Get lost, Cullen!" He hissed, venom seeping out of every word.
"She's not going to Phoenix."
"Stop telling me what I can and can't do!" I shouted. "I'm going to see my mum whether you two like it or not!"
"No." Jacob said, but there was a different edge to his voice now. I turned to look at him in surprise, and there was a blind panic in his eyes. "Don't take Silver away from me, Bella." He whispered, his hand clutching at mine.
"And what if I do stay? What, you just come and check up on us every few hours?" I snorted. "Yeah, because I'm sure Leah won't mind that at all."
Jacob paused, and his hand fell away from mine. To him, there was only one thing- one person in the world who could possibly ever mean more to him that his own daughter.
Leah.
"I'll bring her back in a couple of weeks or so." I promised in a low voice.
Edward exhaled through his nose in frustration. "For goodness sake- she's not going!"
"Your opinion does not count." I told him.
"How am I supposed to reach you if you're in Phoenix?" He asked, almost desperately.
My eyes traced over his face, rememorizing every tiny little detail. I pressed my lips together, then whispered, "You won't be able to."
Edward got the message. He shut his own mouth tightly, his arms locking behind him as if he was holding himself back.
"You sure about this, Bells?" Jacob asked. "If you stayed, we could work something out. Leah would understand. We could…"
He broke off when I shook my head. "No. I've decided. It could never work, Jake. We need to put the house on sale anyway. The sooner the better, I say." I tried for a smile, gathered up Lyra, then turned away, but he caught hold of my arm.
"I'm sorry, Bella. You know that, right?" He almost whispered.
I smiled. "Of course I do, Jake." I leant in to hug him, putting my arms around his neck and breathing in the musty wood smell of my best friend. "Be happy." I whispered into his ear, pushed back the curtain- and walked away.
Walked away from the man who I loved more than any one else in the world.
Walked away from the father of my child.
Just keep walking, just keep breathing.
I just walked away, leaving my heart safe with the man with the pale skin and amber eyes.