Disclaimer: We no own, you no sue.
Yoru: Trying to get things updated in order is a nightmare.
Kuronue: Is that why you take so long?
Yoru: Yesssssssssss. Gr.
Xigbar lifted the sleeping Xaldin into his arms and laid him on the couch, covering him with his jacket.
"Okay, now to dispose of the bads. Heh heh! Bads, because they're bad for you! Ha!...yeah, I'm not clever." He started rooting around in Xaldin's cabinets and drawers, pulling out any alcohol and drugs he found and disposing of them – alcohol down the sink, drugs burned with a lighter he found. He didn't notice Xaldin frowning in his sleep until the boy started mumbling.
"Nn…no…mom…"
Xigbar sat on the edge of the couch, watching his charge attentively.
"Mom…d-don't…" Xaldin whimpered, clutching the fabric of the couch tightly. Xigbar reached out and lightly petted Xaldin's hair.
"Shhh, it's okay. Your guardian angel's here," he whispered. Xaldin grabbed the comforting hand in his sleep, pulling it under his face. A small smile formed on his pretty face, causing one to grow on Xigbar's face as well.
"I'm not gonna lose you," the angel murmured, leaning down and kissing Xaldin's forehead lightly.
"Mom…m'leavin'…outta here…" Xaldin murmured.
"Your mother loves you, even if she has a weird way of showing it," Xigbar whispered, still petting Xaldin's hair gently.
"Nu-uh…hates me," Xaldin argued, still asleep.
"No mother hates her child. Somewhere, deep down, she does love you," Xigbar reiterated.
"Wouldn't've hit me…wouldn't've cut me…wouldn't've used my mouth for herself. Said it was all I was good for…m'mouth…"
"What do you mean?" Xigbar asked, afraid of the answer.
"Ya know…pressin' up again' me, telling me to use m'mouth…I'd say no, she'd hit me 'til I did it…" Xaldin's brow furrowed, "No…mom, no…"
Xigbar didn't notice that his petting had become a bit frantic as he realized what Xaldin's mother had done to him.
"You're safe now," he whispered reassuringly.
"Mhm…" Xaldin's eyes fluttered open even as he squeezed Xigbar's hand lightly. Xigbar smiled down at him.
"No more drugs or alcohol for you," he said firmly. Xaldin glared at him.
"You fucker. You made me sleep."
"Made you spill your guts, too," Xigbar chirped, leaning down to kiss his forehead. Xaldin jerked his face away.
"You asshole."
"Burned all your stash too, and dumped the alcohol down the sink. Sorry," Xigbar purred, not sorry at all. Xaldin groaned and buried his face in the sofa cushion.
"Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat. I'm a good cook." Xigbar stood and stretched.
"Don't have much for you to make," Xaldin murmured, voice muffled by the cushion.
"What do you eat?" Xigbar asked, cocking his head.
"Ramen and whatever comes to hand," Xaldin replied, looking up.
"Instant ramen it is!" Xigbar cheered, going into the kitchen. Xaldin watched him go.
"Where the hell did he come from?" he muttered, getting off the couch and wiping his face with his hand. He was starting to shake from withdrawal.
"Heaven!" Xigbar called, rooting around in the kitchen for some ramen.
"Right," Xaldin called back. He could hear Xigbar humming in the kitchen, but it became a buzz in his ear as withdrawal continued to creep up on him. His shaking hands buried themselves in his hair.
"Nngh…" He began rocking back and forth, shaking madly. Xigbar came out while the ramen was cooking, and his eyes widened.
"Hey, you okay?"
"You're a b-bastard for d-destroying it…I n-need it…" Xaldin whispered, glaring at Xigbar through his hands.
"It's all in your head." Xigbar sat next to Xaldin and rubbed his back soothingly, feeling like an indulgent father.
"When I was alive, I was like you – junkie, alcoholic, the whole bit. One day I almost ODed, and my guardian angel came to save me! From then on, I was walking with God. Now look at me! I'm an awesome angel!" He smiled down at Xaldin, only to find that his shaking had increased and his breathing was coming out in short bursts.
"H-help…"
"It's all in your head, Xaldin! Calm down!" Xigbar assured him frantically. Xaldin fell onto the floor, twitching.
"No it's n-not!" he gasped out.
"Shit! Shit shit shit!" Xigbar yelled, running upstairs and finding a bottle of Jack Daniels on the landing. He rushed back down and put the neck of it to Xaldin's mouth, pouring some down his throat. Xaldin coughed some of it back up, but enough got to his system to lessen his shaking.
"Dammit! How can I help you if all you're gonna do is die on me? That's not fair!" Xigbar snapped.
"You're the one who threw all of my shit away!" Xaldin growled, still gasping a little.
"I didn't know you'd go into hard-ass withdrawal!"
"I'm a fucking addict! What did you expect?" Xaldin grabbed the bottle from Xigbar and took a large gulp before Xigbar snatched it back.
"No! You're cutting back at first! I'll get you addicted to something else, something better, and we'll slowly cure your addiction. How much drugs, alcohol, etc do you do a day?"
"None of your business. And besides, if you're my guardian angel, shouldn't you know already?" Xaldin snapped, grabbing the bottle again. Xigbar tugged it away from him.
"I should…but I lost the paper with all of your information on it," he admitted. Xaldin yanked the bottle away again, taking a swallow.
"Oh, fantastic. Yeah, I really want you around," he muttered. Xigbar gritted his teeth, seizing the bottle for the last time and pouring its contents into a nearby flower pot.
"I'm trying to help you!"
Xaldin stared at the alcohol mixing with the soil, "Do you WANT me to go into withdrawal again?"
"You need to cut down!" Xigbar argued.
"But if you take it all away, I'll end up fucked again!" Xaldin shouted.
"You can't keep constantly indulging yourself! For now, you're only getting alcohol when you have an episode." Xigbar threw the bottle away, wiping his hands. Xaldin stared at him in shock.
"You…you…ASS! You can't just jump into my life and start controlling me!"
"I want you to live! And I was given direct orders from God! What am I supposed to say? 'Sorry God, I can't control people's lives to help them, so fuck off'?"
"That's what I've done my entire fucking life!"
Xigbar suddenly grabbed Xaldin into an embrace. The boy stiffened, surprised.
"Please let me help you," Xigbar whispered, tightening his hold and galvanizing Xaldin into action.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he yelled, jerking out of Xigbar's hold and falling backward onto the couch. Xigbar stepped back and put his hands up, sighing.
"Okay, I won't touch you if you don't want me to, but I'm not leaving you alone."
"Fine…fine, just don't touch me," Xaldin whispered, wrapping his arms around himself to stop the trembling.
"Okay, I won't," Xigbar reiterated, nodding. Xaldin stood shakily.
"I think your ramen is burning," he whispered.
"It's your ramen!" Xigbar chirped, waltzing into the kitchen to check on the noodles as Xaldin went to sit at the table. A minute later, he came back with a bowl of steaming ramen.
"You need something natural in your tummy!" He set the bowl of ramen in front of Xaldin, who eyed it dubiously.
"Is it actually edible?" he asked scathingly. Xigbar frowned and crossed his arms.
"Hey! It was cooked perfectly!"
"I could smell it burning."
"So it might be a little…well-done," Xigbar huffed. Xaldin sighed and took a bite.
"…not bad," he said quietly.
Xigbar clapped his hands happily.
"Excellent! I'll cook all of these delicious foods for you, and we can get you addicted to my cooking instead of drugs and alcohol!" he cheered. Xaldin looked at him, deadpan.
"Are you an idiot?"
"Certified." Xigbar winked. Xaldin sighed and ate another bite.
"That explains a lot." He finished the ramen without another word, taking the bowl to the kitchen and washing it out.
"How long do you plan on staying?" he asked as he washed.
"Until you're completely healed."
"That's impossible after all I've been through." Xaldin put the bowl in the dish drainer and went back into the living room, Xigbar following him.
"There are tons of people who have it worse than you, and I've helped them! And they all start out the same," the angel told him, smiling.
"You often get people who were raped by their own mothers? Who were beaten and starved and whored out? Who were drugged so they wouldn't run away? Who have never known love?" Xaldin got into Xigbar's face, growling.
"All the time. Who needs a guardian angel if you don't have problems?" Xigbar replied nonchalantly.
"NO YOU DON'T! STOP LYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER! NOBODY GETS THIS SHIT DONE TO THEM ALL THE FUCKING TIME!" Xaldin yelled, turning away and wiping the sudden tears.
"Dude, you're not the only person in the world. This stuff happens to people all over, and some of them don't make it through. You're lucky to be alive, Xaldin." Xigbar almost put a hand on the teenager's shoulder, but refrained.
"I see. Just because it happens to other people, I should go la-la-la and forget it ever happened to me," Xaldin murmured, sniffling.
"No…I was just saying…"
"Whoop-de-fucking-doo! Good for them!" Xaldin snarled, not letting Xigbar finish. The angel sighed.
"This is going to be tough."
"You should just give up now," Xaldin suggested, crossing his arms.
"Nope!" Xigbar chirped, smiling at him, "You're normal, despite your nasty addictions!"
"Normal kid with abnormal problems. I don't care what you do," Xaldin murmured, still refusing to look at Xigbar.
"Then I'm gonna bunk here! Where's your room?" Xigbar cheered.
"What does that matter?"
"Well, I'm not going to sleep in the kitchen. That would be uncomfortable."
"You're hella not staying in my room," Xaldin snapped, turning to glare at him.
"Fine. I'll just stay outside…in the cold, snow-covered streets…" Xigbar started walking dejectedly toward the door, pretending to wipe a few tears.
"That right there is a perfectly serviceable couch," Xaldin said frankly, pointing at his sofa.
"You meanie!" Xigbar whined, jumping onto the couch and stretching out. Xaldin sent a withering look his way.
"You think a rape victim is going to let you in their bed?"
"No, but I thought you could at least trust your guardian angel!"
"I don't trust anyone," Xaldin murmured, turning away again and starting to leave the room.
"Well, that's not good! Life is no fun without trust!" Xigbar called after him. Xaldin glared at him.
"Could you trust strangers after all that you know happened to me? I bet your other patients didn't," he snarled. Xigbar looked hurt.
"You didn't know them. You can't say they didn't trust me."
"I meant that they don't just trust strangers!"
"I was a stranger, and they trusted me," Xigbar murmured, remaining calm.
"I can't trust that easily. Maybe I'm just weaker than all of the others," Xaldin said quietly, hugging himself.
"Nah. But I am going to make a promise to you. I promise to love you forever and ever." Xigbar looked proud of himself. Xaldin stared at him, eyes wide.
"What?"
"I promise to love you forever. I mean, you've never had someone who loved you in your life, have you?" Xigbar smiled gently at him.
"Y-you can't just…just say that, and it is!"
"Love at first sight," Xigbar yawned, turning over, "Now get some sleep."
Xaldin walked upstairs to his bed mechanically, but he lay awake for hours.