Cry For a Lost Life

Chapter Nine

Edward's Point of View

Bella had left.

My feet were rooted to the ground, my legs numb. Beside me, Jacob shot me a cold look- then pushed past me, out the curtain.

And I was left alone.

I sat down heavily on the bed, and put my head in my hands, running my long fingers through my hair. She'd barely looked at me once the entire time I was with her. My subconscious desperately tried to think of a good reason for this- but it came up blank.

It was clear. She no longer loved me. I had left her. I had betrayed her. How could she love me?

A hand came down on my shoulder, soft and soothing, rubbing circles into my back. My still heart was screaming out in pain, and it was all I wanted to do to curl up in a circle and just die.

Because there was no point to life without Bella.

Beside me, I heard a sharp intake of breath.

"Edward!" Alice hissed. "You can not be thinking of going to the Volturi!"

Not really caring what she saw, I glanced once into her mind, and saw myself in Italy, in front of the Volturi. I thought of my family, about how angry and upset they'd be, and my decision wavered.

The image in Alice's mind flickered in response. Alice waited until it had died completely before speaking.

"She loves you, Edward. I know she does."

Suddenly angry, I pulled away from my sister. "Oh yeah?" I asked irritably, marching over to the small window. We were talking so quietly that no human ear would ever be able to hear us, but I knew that Carlisle, even working at the other side of the hospital, would have no trouble. "If she still loves me- then why didn't she look at me once today?"

Alice was at my side in an instant. "Because you've hurt her, Edward! You cut her heart out, then left her bleeding for seven years. That's going to leave scars."

I winced.

"You have to be there for her, Edward." Alice insisted. "You have to make her trust you again, and I really don't think forcing her to stay in Forks is really the best plan."

I sighed. "I know. What I said didn't make a difference anyway. But Alice, how am I supposed to see her in Phoenix?" I span back around to look at her with tortured eyes.

"Maybe…" Alice began carefully, biting her lip. "Maybe you don't."

I started to interrupt, so Alice carried on quickly.

"I know that's hard. I get it. But she said about two weeks, didn't she? She needs to clear her head, to think things through properly. She's just been attacked by a maniac vampire hell bent of revenge, for Gods sake! All things considered, she's actually handling this pretty well."

I nodded. "Yeah. She's pretty amazing."

"And she still will be in two weeks. Hang around Forks for a bit, then go and speak to her properly when you've both calmed down a bit."

I knew that Alice was speaking sense- but I didn't want to hear it.

"I can't let her go on her own."

Alice smiled. That was the next part of her plan.

"I'll go with her."

I stared at her. In her mind, I saw images of her striding up to Bella's front door as Bella hastily packed for her trip- but then I could see no further.

I shook my head sharply. "You hurt her, too Alice! You left her too! Why are you so sure that she'll welcome you back, but not me?"

Alice's smiled faded on her lips, her eyes suddenly serious. "Because you were everything to her, Edward. She loved me like a sister, like family- but that was still nothing to how she felt about you. Did you not see the way she used to look at you? Did you not wonder how she would ever cope when you left?"

"I wanted what was best for her." I whispered.

"Then let me go to her. Let me take her to Phoenix. I can watch her for a while, make sure she's safe. Make sure she's happy."

Finally seeing the sense behind Alice's words, I nodded.

For one brief second, Alice's arms were around me in a hug, and I shut my eyes. By the time I opened them, she was gone.

I had waited over a hundred years for Bella.

I would wait two more weeks.

Alice's Point of View

I was outside Bella's house in less than five seconds, excitement cursing through me.

I had visited it once before, some five years back, following Edward in the darkness, until he had caught me, and chased me all the way back to our house.

I had missed her. She had been my best friend- badly dressed as she was- and I was furious at Edward for tearing her away from me, forcing me to move away.

My folded my feet over each other, gazing down, distracted for a moment, at my brand new pumps. They were shiny and black, with a white rim and bow. Normally, they wouldn't have been my style at all- but I was feeling a bit mad the day I brought them. Jasper and I had argued, and I had badly needed something to distract me.

Ten minuets later, the yellow taxi swung into the forest clearing. The driver was an old man with a dirty stubble. I could see him giving Bella the eye, and thanked God that Edward wasn't here- but then he caught sight of me as I jumped up from the wall, and his eyes goggled.

Bella glanced up, following his gaze- then saw me.

I had often spent time imaging the moment that I would finally speak to Bella again. I had imagined it sunny and happy, with Bella crying (as usual) and me laughing.

But not this. Not ever, ever did I imagine that my return would be met with a glare from my best friend cold enough to send chills through ice.

Bella thrust a handful of notes at the driver, shoved open the door and stormed up me, her face as dark as thunder.

"What the hell are you all doing here?" She hissed, almost spitting at me in her anger. Looking alarmed, the driver shot me a terrified glance, then put the taxi into reverse, and disappeared around the corner.

"Hey…" I said weakly, trying for a smile, but Bella's face didn't change from her stone cold expression. One of her hands was in a fist by her side, the other curled almost protectively around her baby.

Lyra. I knew everything there was to know about her- having heard it all, every little detail, from Edward.

"She's so beautiful, just like her mother. I'm so happy, for Bella. It's so wonderful." Bella having a baby, a life, was what he had always wanted.

I very nearly said this is Bella, then bit my tongue, remembering that she wasn't supposed to know that he had been here.

Forging insolence, I smiled at the baby. "What's her name?"

"Lyra." Bella said stiffly, but I could see some of the hardness in her eyes melt away.

"She's beautiful."

"I know."

"Bella…" I began slowly, but she cut over me.

"What are you doing here. Alice? First Ed…" She winced, swallowed, then carried on. "First him you now you. What the hell is your game?"

My face fell. "There is no game, Bella." I said quietly.

"Oh yeah?" She scoffed. "Then why, Alice Cullen- are you even here?"

Her words shocked me. I was so used to my old Bella- soft and friendly and warm. Now she was…hard.

"Because we're friends." I said, but Bella just laughed cruelly, the crude sound echoing around the circle of trees.

"Yeah that's really funny, Alice! Friends! Friends don't leave without a single word. Friends don't disappear off the face of the earth for seven years. Friends watch out for each other! So where were you during the last seven years, Alice? Did you have my back? Where you at my wedding when I got married? Where you helping with me during my pregnancy, making it easier? Did you wait outside the door as I gave birth like friends do?" Her face crumpled, and suddenly tears were rolling down her cheeks, her face screwed up as she spat out the words, her voice bitter. "Were you there for me to call when Jacob left me? No. You were never there. Yeah, maybe seven years ago we were friends. Maybe. I though we were- but I guess you showed me when you left that I never meant a thing to you."

"No!" I gasped, and grabbed her hand- but she winced at my ice cold skin, and I dropped it like it was on fire.

Bella was still shaking with badly concealed sobs that shook through her, releasing all the hurt that she had holed up for the last seven years. "I'm so angry!" She cried. "And do you know why? Because no matter how many times I told myself that I didn't care, that you could do what you wanted- I missed you, Alice! I missed you every day. And I hate you for that."

Before I knew what I was doing, before I thought it through- I had dashed forward, whisked Lyra away from Bella, then wrapped my arms around my best friend, enfolding her in a hug.

For one second, Bella stiffened, then, with another sob, she relaxed, and her arms went around me too, hugging me like she could never bear to let go.

"I missed you too." I whispered, my voice breaking.

And Bella, too past words, just put her head on my shoulder and let her tears drop down onto my dress as she cried out seven years worth of tears.

Bella's Point Of View

The airport was busy.

People pushed and jostled past me, all aiming to catch different flights. Yet another person bashed into me, and I sighed, pulling Lyra closer to me.

Beside me, Alice wound her way through the crowd easily. Anyone who was stupid enough to try to push into her rock solid skin was rewarded with a big bruise.

She brushed her short black hair off her face, and gazed up at the flight board, searching for my o'clock flight to Phoenix.

We'd barely said two words to each other. Alice had been unusually quiet, tiptoeing around me.

When I'd finished shouting, she'd just hugged me. What ever I had been expecting- it wasn't that. I had said such horrible things to her. I wanted her to shout at me too, to yell at me that I was horrible and cruel and unlovable, because then at least I would be able to hate her properly.

But she was just so nice.

She'd led me through to my cramped kitchen and made me a cup of tea, putting it in front of me and nudging it towards me- but I hadn't taken a sip.

She'd pressed her lips together, her eyes wide with anxiety. Not being able to stand her pitying expression, I had pushed back my chair and stormed upstairs, throwing all my stuff into a black suitcase on wheels. Lyra's little suits and dresses had gone in another bag. I had hesitated other which books to bring. Wuthering Heights? Jane Eyre? Both reminded me much too strongly of Edward, just as they had all the other times I had tried to read them since he had left.

He had ruined everything.

Suddenly furious with myself for letting him take over my life like that, I had thrown both books carelessly into a hand bag, leaving my water-proof hanging over my bed post. I wouldn't need it where I was going.

Alice drove me to the airport. She had a new car, a flashy bright yellow one with sleek black windows and shiny metal. I couldn't be bothered to look close enough to work out what make it was.

"Still not interested in cars?" Alice smiled, and I span around to find her watching me. I had forgotten how weird it was to be around people who made no noise when they moved.

I was surprised that she had even remembered, but I quickly forced my face back into the poker expression. I shrugged, and said coldly. "I guess some things have to stay the same."

Her smile slid off her face, and I felt bad at once as she held the passenger door open silently for me.

"Over there." Alice muttered in my ear, her cool breath blowing over my face and shocking me back to the present as she gripped my arm and pushed me lightly in the right direction.

Automatically, I shrank away from her cold touch, and she removed her hand at once.

"Sorry." She said.

I shut my eyes, shaking my head. "It's not you, Alice. It's just…him."

She understood. I knew she would, and she went to hug me again, but I deliberately pretended I hadn't noticed, and moved smartly away from her, jogging Lyra up and down in my arms, pointing out the notice boards to her as if a one year old would actually care about flight times.

Alice's arms dropped.

"All passengers for the one o'clock flight from Seattle to Phoenix should now be boarding the plane." The cool voice ran out over head.

I glanced at Alice. "That's me then."

"Yep."

We looked at each other for a long moment. Finally really looked, our eyes meeting as we frowned at one another, trying to work out what was different, what was wrong.

Then Alice's gaze slid down my scruffy jeans and long blue top. She tutted.

"You really need to go shopping, Bells." She said, and she sounded so like the old Alice, that for a moment my face split into a smile and I rolled my eyes.

"You're looking a bit worse for wear as well." I teased her lightly.

"Me?" Alice gasped in mock horror. "I don't think so. I brought this top in Italy!" She fingered the soft material, then looked up at me, smiling sadly.

"Can I come and see you when you get back?" She asked.

I hesitated, then nodded. "Just…call first, okay? I was a bit…surprised earlier. And, Alice- don't bring anyone else along, will you?"

She knew I was talking about Edward.

With a resigned sigh, and nodded. "Fine. But you two are meant to be together." She sulked.

"Yeah. That's what I thought, too." I said quietly, and Alice didn't miss the use of past tense.

"Bye then." She said glumly.

"Bye."

She hugged me awkwardly, trying to out her arms around both Lyra and me at the same time, then gave up and sighed.

I smiled apologetically at her, and started to turn around. I got a meter away before something occurred to me. I span back.

"Alice!" I called, and she turned at once.

"Yes?"

"You're not planning on following me around Phoenix, are you?"

If vampires could have blushed, Alice would have been bright red. She looked so guilty, her eyes darting away from mine.

"Alice!" I hissed. "Don't you dare! I am sick of being treated like some over grown toddler! I swear, if I find out you followed me- I will never, ever speak to you again." I paused, then added cruelly. "With seven years practise, it shouldn't be too hard."

Her face fell, and I felt bad at once. "Sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did." She said quietly.

I didn't answer. I couldn't- there was nothing to say. Because she was right.

I had meant every word.