Three months later
I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! For the first time in over a year, I am really and truly happy. When Keira reaches a milestone, well that's nothing to this. I can honestly say I am bursting with joy for the first time since the Clone Wars started. I'm smiling so much my cheeks hurt.
We have a visitor. One who looks to stay for a long time. A survivor.
Someone who understands. He understands my loss and loneliness, my guilt, my rage, everything. His world crashed around him that day too. But he also brought news. Other Jedi survived! Rumour says Master Yoda, and Master Kenobi, are still eluding the Empire. But there's bad new s too.
Apparently… Anakin Skywalker did it. He turned to the darkness and destroyed us. I wish I could say I told you so, that I saw this coming, but the truth is I idolised him. He was what every youngling wanted to be like. Fighting on the front lines, brilliant swordsman, Palpatine's friend. We were all so envious of Ahsoka when she was sent to be his Padawan.
I wonder what happened to Ahsoka. Was she gifted- or cursed as the case may be- with life? I feel so sorry for her. She must feel so bad, so much worse than me. So guilty.
For the first time since the war started, I feel 15 again. My age. The way normal teenagers should. The burden isn't on me now. I'm not soley responsible for Keira. He was a Knight, Sakel, and knows so much more than me. I was only 12 when Master Torlan chose me as a Padawan. I suppose it was because I had potential. But children were taken out of the Temple more because of the war. And not so many were coming in.
I'm not going to let anything ruin my happy mood. I have every right to feel happy. Just because the Emperor has made me feel guilt and grief doesn't mean that's all I'm allowed to fel. I have the right to my little joys. I'm 15 after all. Most kids my age are goofing around like there's no tomorrow, not thinking about the future, without a care. Just this one night I'll try to be like them. I'll pretend I haven't lost anything. I'll pretend I am carefree. I can pull it off just this one night.
Because I am joyous.