Illusion Chapter 3: Keep Holding On, a wheel of time fanfic

Title: Keep Holding On
Rating: K+
Pairing: Moiraine/Lan
A/N: Moiraine POV
Summary: Moiraine and Lan are having a conversation after a rough day.

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand

"Moiraine, are you feeling alright?" I turn around when I hear Lan's voice behind me. I meet his intense blue eyes. I nod slightly.
"Yes, Lan. I am a little tired, that's all" I manage to smile weakly at him.
"You don't look so good" he says while he's approaching slowly. I snarl at him.
"Light Lan, you really know what to tell a woman to make her feel better, don't you?" I tell him, but he ignores my sarcastic tone. Lan stands right in front of me now.
"Well, I am pretty good with women" he gives me an impish grin, and I can't resist to snicker softly.

When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in

"You really should get some rest, it has been a long day" Lan's voice suddenly serious and with a hint of concern in it.
"Yes, I know that too. You worry too much Lan" I say as I place a hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles tighten under my grip. I let him go with a surprised look on my face. I watch his eyes, they've turned steel gray. He looks sad.

No I won't give in

"What's wrong Lan?" I ask while searching his inner to find out what he's feeling. But I can't sense what's troubling him.
"Will this never end?" His question catch me off guard.
"Hopefully will the Light conquer soon" I say as I clap his back in a reassuring gesture, "And hopefully I'm there when it all ends too"
"You won't die before me" Lan glares at me, "I promise I'll do anything to keep you safe until the last battle"

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through

I smile at his words, I know he'll stand by my side through water, wind and fire.
"I know you feel that way Lan, but neither of us can guarantee anything" I tell him. He looks at me, watching me carefully.
"You don't think we'll manage this?" His face is not revealing any feelings what so ever.

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear

"Lan, I know we can survive and fight. But I don't think we can do miracles" I sigh. He nods in agreement.
"Whatever happens I will be at your side, I swear" He draws his blade and knees in front of me. He kisses the sword hilt and looks up at me.
"I know Lan, we're bond to each other. We share faith. We will die together" I reassure him. At least I hope we will be together forever.

Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend

Lan rise to his feet, pleased with my answer. I can feel him through our bond, we're closer together than any married man and woman can ever be. It's a blessing but also a curse, we can never hide anything from each other.
"You ever thought of marriage?" I ask him. Lan looks surprised at me, I am surprised myself. 'Why did I ask him that?' floats through my mind.
"I've…" He clears his throat, "I thought I was getting married when I was younger"
"Then I met you and my life got turned upside down" He continues, "I realized my life was 'is' united with yours"
All I can do is nod, partly surprised he let his guard down and is telling me this.
"Now all I can think of is whether we will survive to the last battle" He looks down at his feet, "And if we're still together"

I'll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah

I peer at him trying to figure him out, 'What did he mean with 'together'?'
"We will go through it together, Lan" I take a step closer to him. We're now standing close to each other; I can almost hear his heart beat.
"How about you? You ever thought about marriage?" He clears his throat and looks down at me. I can feel his breath on my face.
"When I was younger I used to imagine myself as a Green sister with at least two warders. Both of whom I was married too" I snicker softly at the memory.
"But that was when I was young, now I am old and no man would ever want me" I sigh.
"You're not old!" Lan protests, "You're a beautiful and clever woman, powerful and sophisticated"
I arch an eyebrow at him, and he coughs and takes a step back. I can see he is uncomfortable with the turn this conversation has taken. I can't read the feelings flowing through our bond.
"Besides which man would want to marry an Aes Sedai?" I ponder, "I don't think any man could live with that"

So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, make it through

"I could" Lan stated simply. I look at him, quietly. I can see a slight blush creeping on his neck. He coughs lightly.
"I mean I am not intimidated by an Aes Sedai" He defends himself with.
"Oh really? Got your eye on someone special?" I tease him while my heart is beating faster. He takes a step closer; we're now standing one foot from each other. He reaches out and places a finger on my chin. He tilts my head up so I now meet his gaze; his ice blue cold eyes, which can melt hearts and elude the Dark ones minions.
He leans closer and whispers in my ear "Maybe I do". My heart is beating so fast and loud, that I am sure he can hear it. He smiles at me and plants a soft kiss on my cheek. He takes me in his arms and holds me tight. I lay my head against his chest, listening to his heart pounding steadily.

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destine
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah

I am not in love with Lan, but I do love him. We've been together for many years now. We've shared success and defeats, but we've always survived. Together we will stand, strong and powerful. I know him, and he knows me. I feel safe in his embrace. I want to stay in his arms forever, but tomorrow will be a new day. With new battles to fight, but now at least I know we'll be together until the very end.