Disclaimer: I only own Jamaila, Gabby and anything else you don't recognise.
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Selphie was thankful for the narrow escape. After the woman attempted to pester the two until she got a satisfactory answer, the brunette decided to point out that two junior class-men were planning to hide out at the restricted area for a bet. Upon glimpsing them, Selphie was wondering whether or not those two boys were the ones that had been tampering with the wires, that day at the party.
'I'm sure they were wearing the same T-shirts …'
However, due to the importance of their current situation, she allowed the thought of those boys to disappear.
"So, what d'ya think we should do?" Irvine asked her, who honestly couldn't think of much but to take the still figure, in his arms, to the Infirmary.
Then again, they'd have to be the subject to more questions and may also be the victims of a classic 'Kadowaki-scolding'.
"Well, we could go to the Infirmary …" She said, speaking her thoughts out aloud.
Irvine looked slightly alarmed. And rightly so, thought Selphie, as he must have been having thoughts about the lecture they might receive from the elderly doctor. "Well, I wouldn't say -"
"But, she'll know the most about healing her, right? And," Selphie persisted, "it wouldn't draw too much attention if she laid in one of the hospital beds, right?"
Irvine shook his head helplessly. "Selphie … she's dead."
Selphie felt her eyes start to sting; for what reason, she didn't know. It's not like she wanted to shed tears for the woman that lay in Irvine's arms, but must have nevertheless felt some sympathy for her. After all, the woman had simply been following orders, from the looks of it, and isn't that what Selphie and her friends were doing now: following orders from their mentor/father? The brunette looked down at the figure once more and found it hard to believe that she had adapted to a life of where killings were common and, most of the time, unnecessary. Most of the children who resided in Garden were stripped of their childhood.
Take Gabby, for example.
He was just a simple boy, living out on the streets of Balamb, when Jamie had found him. And to think, in a couple of years, he would become an expert on missionary and mercenary work.
"Um, Selphie?" Irvine questioned. "Should we go to Cid, then?"
"Huh? Oh," Selphie vaguely replied. "Yeah, that - that sounds like a good idea."
The two set off for Cid's office. Hopefully, he would know what to do with her.
- x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x - x -
The empty punches he sent to the air only swished plainly and increased the hollow sensation he felt somewhere near his mid-riff.
Why did he have to be so stupid for? He had always been teased by Seifer, and some of the other Instructors had also noted on it: the fact that he usually thought with his head and not his heart.
So why, then, did he decide to tell Quistis that he really liked her when there was a big chance that she was: a) either not available, or b) already going out with someone?
Although, Scenario B) had a lot of implications in itself. This was Quistis, the woman that was more into her job and helping out her friends. She had never had time for romantic endeavours, or so he understood of her. So, why was she currently on a date with some damn worker from another country, someone whom she was planning to waste her weekend with. Zell's fists clenched more painfully and his punches became swifter.
Just as he was about to go onto practicing his kicks, he heard a voice behind him.
"So, there you are."
Zell's first thought was that maybe, somehow, Selphie had gotten a voice adjustment or something. However, as he turned back, he recognised Xu, one of the top SeeDs of Garden and apparently one of Quistis's close friends.
Zell frowned. "Um, hey … what're you doing here?"
Xu nodded at him. "I could ask you the same question."
He waved a hand airily. "Oh, you know, just training," he made to turn back, when -
"So, what was up with you and Quistis?" Zell stopped his first air-punch. Wow, she didn't miss a beat, did she?
"Oh, uh, nothing. Why'd you ask?" Zell asked, before snapping his fist on air.
"Well, I saw you stalk out of her classroom with an expression that meant murder." Then, almost as an afterthought, "You didn't kill anyone, did you?"
Zell shook his head, his spikes waving from side to side. "No, I didn't. Actually, I came here to practice with some fiends, but decided to practice by myself. Allows more thinking time, you know."
"Oh, so you were thinking of something - What about?"
Zell cursed silently. Him and his big mouth …
"Oh, nothing important."
Xu's gaze could have been X-raying him. "Tell me, Zell."
Zell sighed. Well, better telling her than risk getting demoted a SeeD rank. "Well, it's … that guy that's -"
"- Going out with Quistis?" Xu finished. "Yeah, I don't like him much, either. I can't believe that Tilmitt and that Heartilly set those two up," she shook her head disbelievingly.
'Actually, I can't believe that Quistis is playing along with it.' Zell thought sourly but, nevertheless, he felt slightly better than before. So, Quistis had not chosen him for his looks or his wisdom … he had simply been thrust upon her by her two friends.
He seriously needed to have a word with them.
His external expression must have brightened up somewhat, for Xu then commented, "Going to take a chance now?"
Zell felt a blush creep onto his cheeks and he shook his head vigorously. "No way! She's my friend, that's all!"
Xu raised an eyebrow. "Right … well, good luck," she smiled; something that didn't exactly comfort Zell, and moved back towards the exit.
He frowned after her. Was he that predictable?
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The buzz that was circling most of Balamb seemed to have bounced off two people who, despite walking together, were not sharing many words together. Their minds were preoccupied with various thoughts and they either didn't know how to, or simply didn't want to, express their emotions out loud.
Jamie scraped her shoe on the ground; whether out of irritation or boredom, her partner didn't know. She was glad that they had not quarrelled on the way here, but felt slightly helpless as Seifer simply stared around at his surroundings, acting as if he was paying her no mind. She seriously wanted to break the silence but, at the same time, she didn't want to risk it; he might be thinking about something that would encourage him to become enraged.
And she really didn't want to deal with his temper right now.
But, as if he was also as unnerved as she was, Seifer gestured into a café. "Let's go in here. It'll give us time to talk", he added just when she was about to interrupt.
Not wanting to get on his bad side, the brunette simply shrugged in compliance and entered the building.
The interior of the café was very welcoming: there were a number of round wooden tables assorted around the room, with matching wooden chairs; the white walls were plastered with frames of portraits and photographs, of various people and landscapes and the white ceiling was filled with tiny spotlights and fans, in case of humidity. In short, it looked quite comfy.
Jamie just hoped that the clientele were cordial.
With something less of his normal strut, Seifer made his way to one of the closer tables, with his brunette companion trailing behind him. As they both sat down, Jamie looked around at most of the customers already seated around the other tables. With an unfamiliar feeling boiling at the pit of her stomach, she realized that most of them were couples: whether old or young, it didn't matter, but most of them were lovingly gazing into each other's eyes or clasping their loved one's hands inside their own.
'Some time to come in here …' She thought to herself, but savoured the fact that when Seifer and her become a couple, then there wouldn't be any of this 'lovey-dovey' stuff: like holding hands or kissing in public.
Wait - when they become a couple?!
'Hyne.' Jamie frowned at the thought, 'the amorous air must be contagious, which is causing me to have these kind of thoughts …'
She stared back at Seifer, who was having some sort of conversation with an attendant. Sure, he had the blue-green eyes that would cause any woman to become hypnotized by them and the golden locks that all females would kill to touch, but he … wasn't really her type. After all, she knew how he was on the inside: stubborn, arrogant and driven to succeed in life, regardless of the consequences.
'And where did that get him?' She thought darkly. 'To a black hole filled with -'
"Hey Kramer! What're you having?" Seifer's voice, and fingers, arose her from her thoughts.
"I - uh …" She looked between the amused Seifer to the slightly befuddled waiter. "I'll have a coffee, please."
The waiter bowed cordially before making his way to the counter. Jamie had not exactly repossessed her calm composure when Seifer leaned forwards slightly, in his seat, and gave her a questioning look.
"So, what were you thinking about?"
'If you knew, you'd never let me live it down,' the brunette thought to herself; the only thing to do now was to convince him that it was of no importance. So she rearranged her expression into one of unconvincing airiness and waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, nothing much."
Seifer's right eyebrow rose.
Jamie, now trying to persuade herself as much as him, persisted. "It's true! It's nothing!"
Seifer leaned back on his chair, his expression still scrutinizing, and folded his arms across his chest. "Sure, alright."
Jamie looked down at her hands, whilst trying to ease the sudden pounding in her chest. "So, um …" She looked back up at Seifer. "Why'd we come here?"
It was Seifer's turn to act casual. With a shrug, he made to inspect the café. "Oh, well, it's a nice place, you know; calm atmosphere."
Predictably, Jamie raised her eyebrows. "Uh-huh …"
Seifer's mouth began forming a grin. "No, really, I think it's nice."
Jamie then imitated his position, and folded her arms across her chest. "Really …"
Seifer stared straight at her, his grin fading, and Jamie felt her smile similarly slide away. That look of his either meant one of two things: he was going to explain something to her or he was having a flashback.
Whichever option it was, however, she would have to make sure that her ears were fully functional.
'Oh boy …'
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After exiting the rented blue car, the couple made their way out of the parking lot. Squall was pleased about their date; the dinner was pleasant, the conversations were satisfying and the service was good.
And he shared all this with the woman of his dreams.
A slight chattering of the teeth alerted his attention to her and, when he looked at her, he realised that she was shivering from the cold. Not hesitating, he stripped himself of his dress jacket and handed it to her in a heartbeat.
Her chocolate-brown eyes widened a fraction before she shook her head lightly. "No, d-don't worry. I-I'm fine."
"You're not, Rinoa. You're shivering. And your teeth are chattering."
Still, Rinoa shook her head. "It's o-okay. Really."
He sighed internally. 'Time to play the 'Commander' card …' His eyes then hardened slightly and his tone imposed. "Rinoa. Take it. Now."
Rinoa sighed; whether from capitulation or frustration, it was hard to tell. "Alright, alright."
She took the dress jacket from his hands and placed it around her. Relieved that her stubborn streak had not gotten in the way, Squall placed his hands in his pockets to protect them from the harsh breeze blowing. The sky had already begun to darken and, as he looked up, he glimpsed a couple of stars winking down at him.
Reminded irresistibly of the first time they met, he was just about to inform Rinoa of that, when she cut in.
"I'll need to see the Doctor in the Infirmary later."
'What?!' Squall's mind screamed. Was there something wrong with her that he had failed to notice? Or (he really felt anxious then) what if it was something so bad that they would be forced to be torn apart?
'No,' he fought his feelings of trepidation, 'I vowed that I would protect her; that'd I'd be her Knight, no matter what.'
"Squall, are - are you alright?"
The brunet blinked and looked at Rinoa, who was staring at him worriedly. He smiled slightly and shook his head. "No, I'm - I'm okay. But …" He hesitated slightly, unsure of how to word his concern without sounding too troubled.
He didn't want it to rub off on her.
"Actually, I -" He glimpsed Rinoa's expression, "What's so funny?"
Rinoa chose that moment to cease stifling her giggles. "W - Well, you - you looked so - funny, hahaha, concentrating like that and I -" Her giggles took over.
Squall frowned disapprovingly at her. "Look, I'm concerned for you health, okay? That's why I was thinking so much. So, why do you need to go down to the Infirmary?"
He was thankful that his question stopped her giggles from pouring out and continued to watch her as she gestured to her nose.
"Because of this."
Even now, he felt slightly bitter towards Jamie, despite the fact that the two were comrades (he still had a small difficulty adjusting to the word 'friend') who resided in the same establishment. And, he also knew about the slight 'feud' between the two females. The only thing he didn't know, however, was the reason of their disagreements.
"Would you … like me to talk to her?" He asked.
Rinoa halted in her tracks and shook her head. "No, no, no. I don't want any more trouble to be caused by this."
He frowned again. "But, Rin -"
"Really," she shook her head and placed an angelic smile on her face, "I'll be fine, Squall."
Nevertheless, as Squall walked beside her, he prepared himself for the worst.
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Seifer, for the first time in his life, was at a loss for words.
How the hell was he going to explain all the flashbacks and nightmares he had to endure every night? The memories of the Sorceress War ate at him inside, but he still kept his cool. His entire being was flooded with guilt at all the crimes and atrocities he had committed, but he tried to convince people that it didn't affect him.
But now, when he had to justify himself to his close friend, he just couldn't compose himself accordingly. Almost absent-mindedly, he fiddled with the napkin laid out in front of him; first folding it lightly, then attempting to scrunch it up into a ball, and then decided that even that didn't calm down his nerves ('Wait, why the fuck am I nervous for?') and threw it back on the table.
After all that, he looked back up at Jamie with a sigh. She simply stared back at him helplessly.
'Great, she probably thinks I'm crazy. Heh, not that she'd be the first …'
Seifer swallowed a lump in his throat before starting. "Well, firstly, you're the only one I've told this too, so I'd advise you not to go telling anybody else." He waited for Jamie's nod of affirmation before continuing.
"This Sorceress shit … It's eating my brain alive. I dunno, I just … Fuck, look, this whole thing is hard to explain, you kno -"
"Don't worry," Jamie said, shaking her head. "I'll wait."
Seifer thanked her patience and the gods for that before using all his self-constraint to muster up the courage to tell her. Everything.
He leaned forward a little. "Ultimecia … She's crazy, man," he whispered, just loud enough for Jamie to hear every word. "Even now, I have dreams about the War: about Ultimecia, about the killings, and the little kids …" His hand clenched convulsively on his lap and he willed for the images to stop playing in his mind. Thankfully, he didn't lose too much control as to lose track of what he was explaining.
"I don't know what the hell is going on inside my brain, but this guilt thing, I …" He sighed. "I hate it."
Just then, he felt a pressure on top of his hand and, after looking down at it, realized that Jamie had enclosed his hand with hers. He embraced her soothing touch for a couple of seconds but then he felt the pressure of her hand build. Quickly looking back at her, he saw her stare at him.
At the sight of his eyes on her, however, she smiled at him.
Hesitantly, he placed a small smile on his face. Nevertheless, the pressure of her hand was still building and he wanted to tell her to stop it but, at the same time, he didn't want to admit his weakness. It was as if another hand (an invisible and heavier one) had clamped down on both of their adjoined hands and was preventing him from moving away. He was about to open his mouth as he moved his head to face Jamie …
… And found Ultimecia staring back at him.
With a loud gasp, he finally forced his hand out of hers and almost toppled backwards. Still moving back, his expression of sheer horror, he pointed straight at her. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"
Jamie's eyebrows creased together at the sudden shift in Seifer's self-control. Many of the occupants were also staring at the two, evidently unsure of what had happened. The blond, though, only saw Ultimecia smiling benignly up at him. Seifer's heart rate began to speed up and he felt like running away from her. His legs, on the other hand, had different plans.
"No - stay away from me!" He yelled, as Ultimecia made to get up. His pupils diluted as he continued to stare at her, his chest heaving: hadn't she already been taken care of? Or was she perhaps just his imagination; a hologram caused by the bad memories that he had locked up inside of him?
And, just as he thought this, he saw his vision blur, before coming back to the familiar setting of the café: Jamie standing up, and the other customers staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and doubt.
His heart rate easing slightly, he ignored Jamie's "Seifer?" and walked out and pushed the door open. The severe cold air hit him and he automatically placed his hands in his jean pockets. However, his thoughts were far from the unkind weather.
Just what had caused him to go mad in there?
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Quistis felt apprehensive at the sight of him. And, the main thing was that she had a good idea of what was causing her unease.
The blonde had simply been planning to retire to her dorm room, after strolling through most of Balamb with Alex. It had not exactly been romantic; the cold weather and the feeling in her stomach that hadn't gone away had seen to that. Nevertheless, in a calm sort of sense, she had enjoyed it: after all, it had taken her mind off marking papers and teaching students for most of the day; something that she was sure both Selphie and Rinoa would have been proud of, as they thought her too 'hard-working' for their (and, apparently, her) own good.
But now, as she caught Zell standing in front of her, she instantly stopped in her tracks, with no idea of what to do anymore. Did she want to talk to him, to sort things out after his abrupt departure? The honest answer was 'yes', but … she didn't know where to start.
'I don't even want to be the person to start', she thought to herself and waited for him to say something first, because her brain was currently in limbo.
After a couple of seconds (which felt like minutes), he made his way towards her so that there was a small gap in between the two. Still waiting, half-anticipating what he was going to say, Quistis was about to breath out a greeting, when Zell waved a hand and said "Hey" with as much casualty as he could muster.
With a small smile, Quistis nodded her head in reply.
Plainly looking for something to ease the anxiety that hung around them, Zell asked her, "So … where you heading to?"
This was, obviously, not the question that she had expected to hear from him.
They were both standing a short distance away from the dorms which would have easily given Zell the answer to his own question. Scuffing his feet on the carpet, possibly to lessen his embarrassment, he grinned sheepishly.
"I … uh –" he stuttered.
"I was just going to my dorm. Catch some rest," she replied, to which he looked up at her; slightly relieved that she had not remarked at him for his dim question, something he knew most of the others may have done.
"Oh, well, uh … how was your date?" As the word 'date' escaped his lips, Quistis looked away from him for a moment. Even now, she still hated the term. Catching this, Zell asked, "Uh, Quistis? It didn't go well?"
Quistis moved her vision back towards him. How observant of him …
"No, it – it went fine, I just …" Quistis feigned a yawn. "I'm just tired, that's all."
Zell raised his right hand in farewell. "Well, if that's the case, I guess I better leave, then. See ya!" And with that, he walked away towards the Cafeteria.
And still Quistis could not gather the courage to tell him the words that he was surely yearning to hear from her.
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Author's Note: Sorry about the late update! But, I hope this will suffice for y'all. And I hope you all enjoyed Xmas and may 2009 bring you guys good fortune – Oh, I'm no good at poetry …
Enjoy your holidays, everyone! (That is, if you've still got them …)
Ash XX