After the end of the previous and very embarrassing event there was a long fifteen minute commercial break, when the show came back on, once again Billy was dressed in his full armor and this time he had no intention of taking it off.

"Welcome back everybody! This is Potira pitch-hitting for Bob who is feeling a little… what's the word, decomposed?"

Billy slapped the forehead of his helmet.

"Not decomposed, Indisposed! Yeesh…"

"Okay then… Onto round five! As all eligible bachelors should know, we women love romance, so now we shall see which of our fine contestants is more romantic with a little poetry contest!"

"There is only one fine contestant here and one Slifer red ****."

"Gasp!"

"Hey you can't say that word on TV!" said Jaden.

"And who's going to stop me slacker? The ******* United Nations?"

"I think you should know Mr. Jobs that most women don't like potty mouths." said Potira.

"I'm am not paying you to act like my ******* mother *****!" said Billy.

"Hey!" said Bob coming out from behind the curtain "You don't talk to my girl like that!"

"And what are you going to do about it you ***** *****! I can kick your butt all the way to Pluto and back!"

"Is that a challenge?"

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"You can't be serious, I'll rip your **** off and make you eat it!"

For the next 10 minutes a sign that read, "We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stay tuned" took up the screen.

"Sorry about that folks. I'm Mr. Job's butler Jarvis and I'll be taking Mr. Banter's place as the host. Now here's how the next event is going to work. Both Mr. Jobs and Mr. Yuki will be given ten minutes to write a poem about how much they love Ms. Rhodes. The poem's will then be judged by the three models, and they will decide which is more romantic."

Jaden and Billy were both given a piece of paper and a pencil to write with.

"Who's this guy?" asked Jaden.

"He's Mr. Stutterstutt." said Jarvis.

"Okay, and why are you dressed like that Mr. Stuckerstuff?"

"He's the beekeeper."

"I'm not asking you, I'm asking Mr. Stuff Sucker."

"He can't answer you Mr. Yuki. He's a mute."

"Oh… I'm terribly sorry, I didn't realize."

"Happens all the time sir. You're ten minutes begin in 3… 2… 1… go!"

Billy went right to work writing his poem, but Jaden was having trouble putting how much he loved Alexis into words. Adding to his lack of concentration was a bee buzzing around his head, he spent three of his ten minutes trying to swat it.

"Before you punch out tonight Mr. Stiff Sticker, I suggest you count your bees, you may find that one of them is missing." he said.

When the ten minutes were up Billy said his poem first.

"Where are you, where are you, where are you my hearts desire? Every night in my dreams I feel you, I see you, the sunshine in your golden hair is blazing in me like fire! How I yearn for you my beloved. Can't you hear me screaming in the night like my body is engulfed in fire? This burning desire can only be quenched by you. Please accept me as I am my beloved, don't crush my heart, my flesh, and bone. Please my beloved, please be mine and mine alone."

"Well… He's a dirty potty mouth, and not very attractive under all that heavy metal… but he does seem to have a thing for poetry." said one of the models.

"He's no Shakespeare, but he isn't a hired birthday card writer either."

"Very well then. Mr. Yuki it's your turn."

"This won't end well." said Chazz miles away.

Jaden hadn't been in the spotlight for five minutes when he folded his arms and pointed at Billy.

"He's good."

"What did I tell you?" said Chazz.

Billy: 3

Jaden: 2

"Now onto the sixth event." said Jarvis. "The next event shall be one to test to see whom is more humorous in the eyes of…"

"Will you listen to him?" said one of the models. "He's doing this like it's a stinking high school calculus competition!"

"Lighten up dude!"

"Why don't you let us take it from here darling?" asked the third model placing her hand on Jarvis'.

"You go girls." he said handing her the mike.

"Okay ladies and germs, I'm Laiza, and these are my good friends Alessandra, and Sabrina, and we'll be hosting this little love brawl for the remainder of the evening."

The audience applauded.

"Thank you. Now take it from a tan brunette supermodel like me, every girl wants a guy that can make her laugh."

"That's right Laiza." said Sabrina "When life gives a girl lemons nothing pleases her more then a hubby who can make her laugh at anything."

"Who cares about how funny he is as long as he's got it where it counts." said Alessandra "I'm talking down town!"

The audience laughed.

"Thank you Alessandra, but we already covered that area. Now both the handsome Jaden and the… intelligent… Billy will have to prove that they can make a girl laugh. And here's how it's going to work, both of you will take turns to come up and tell us a joke, and we will decide who we think is funnier. Are you boys ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." said Jaden.

"He better be." said Chazz "He needs to win this round just to stay alive."

"Come on Chazz, Even if Billy wins do you really think Alexis will fall in love with a guy who kidnapped her, swears like a lumberjack who cut off his own leg, and has a deformed manhood?" asked Jasmine.

"He'll probably force her, just like he forced Jaden to compete in this crazy event."

"You know, he's got a point there." said Hassleberry.

"You can't force someone to fall in love." said Blair "Even if he forces her at gunpoint to walk down the aisle and marry him it doesn't mean she'll love him. I tried to get Jaden to go for me, but for some reason he chose Alexis. Probably the same reason Alexis chose him instead of you Chazz, despite your being more wealthy than he is."

"Well I will admit, I'd rather lose Alexis to Jaden then to this Bill Jobs freak."

"Okay Billy, you're first." said Sabrina.

Billy walked into the center of the stadium and the spotlight.

"Okay, I will admit I'm not much of a comedian, I'm a very serious man, and I haven't been able to come up with many good jokes because I've been so busy shopping for a suit so that Alexis and I wouldn't have too long to get married. But on my way home last night I managed to come up with this… Knock knock..."

"Who's there?"

"Don't ya."

"Don't ya who?"

"Don't you wish I hadn't been so busy suit shopping so that I'd be able to come up with a good one?!"

The only sound that could be heard was a cricket chirping.

"Just for that me and Alexis shall have a grand and expensive wedding reception, and none of you are invited." said Billy.

"How do you know you're going to be Alexis' groom?" asked Laiza "Jaden hasn't had his turn yet, and there is still one more event after this one."

"He's not going to win this heptagathon or Alexis' hand." said Billy sounding angry.

"And how do you know that? You yourself said that this is a fair fight between you and him."

"Yes I did, and if by some crazy fluke the slacker wins it means he didn't fight fair. He has never played by the rules, he only defeated the sacred beasts, light of destruction, etc by lying and cheating, it's the only way a person like him could have ever done such things. See I worked hard to get where I am, and I'm willing to bet he hasn't done an honest day's work in his life, considering that he could hardly stay awake during class. The only reason Alexis agreed to his proposal is because she doesn't know what he is, but tonight I am going to expose him for the total fraud he is, and then Alexis will shower me with affection when she realizes I've saved her from throwing her life away."

"Well… We'll see… In the meantime it is Jaden's turn."

Jaden took Billy's spot in the center of the stadium.

"I hope he's as funny as he is sexy." said Alessandra.

Jaden blushed.

"Well… I do know one joke. Okay, I saw this on TV when I was a kid. A boy and his girlfriend go to the drive-in movies, and she tells him to go get some popcorn. Now the guy at the snack bar isn't all there.

He say's, Hi welcome to the Snack Palace, I'm… Mitch… Can I help your order… I mean, can you order… No wait… Let me start over okay… Welcome to the Snack Palace, I'm Mitch, can I have your order?"

So the guy says, Yah hello Mitch, I'll take a small popcorn.

Mitch replies, We don't have small.

Then give me a medium.

We don't have medium.

Well then what do you have?

Large, Jumbo the Elephant, and Mega Whale.

Then isn't a large a small?

Uh… I'll have to ask my manager.

So at this point the guy can't take it anymore, he's missing some valuable make out time with his girlfriend. So he says, Just give me a large popcorn.

So Mitch gives him this huge thing of popcorn, if that's the smallest size I think the largest could feed half the population of China."

Jaden paused to let the audience laugh.

"So the guy's getting out his money to pay for the freakishly huge thing of popcorn and Mitch asks him, Do you want fries with that?

Naturally the boy asks him, Why would I want fries with popcorn?

And Mitch replied, Uh… I'll have to ask my manager."

Everyone started laughing again, after about three minutes Jaden raised his hands indicating he wasn't done yet.

"So the boy goes back to his girlfriend and she says, Oh you got the popcorn… Didn't you get any fries?"

The audience erupted into laughter.

"I think we know who the winner is." said Laiza after she managed to stop laughing.

Billy: 3

Jaden: 3

"It looks like the score is all tied up, which makes our seventh and final event the swing vote! It just doesn't get any better then this! We'll be right back after these messages."

(To be continued)

It all comes down to who is the better duelist

Jaden or the insane Billy

Who will join Alexis in the blessed sacrament of marriage, the sacred joining of a man and a woman till death do they part?

The red hot duel of love and passion begins in

Chapter 8: Blessed love or unholy lust?