"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen! At the moment the score is tied, now there is only one way to settle who gets Alexis Rhodes' hand in marriage."

"That's right Laiza." said Sabrina "A butt kicking, soul shocking, DUEL MONSTERS CAGE MATCH! NO COMMERCIALS, NO MERCY!!!"

"The crowd is going wild with anticipation!" said Alessandra.

The audience was indeed having a field day.

"Now here are our contestants, in this corner, the handsome, the funny, Mr. Hero himself, Jaden Yuki!"

The audience applauded.

"And in this corner standing head to toe in powered body armor, the terrifying, the intelligent, Mr. Money, Billy Jobs!"

When Billy came out the Iron Man song started playing.

"If I remember correctly then Billy fancies machine cards." said Chazz.

"Oh really? What was your first hint?" said Blair sarcastically.

"This has to be Billy's biggest mistake yet." said Syrus "Jaden can beat anyone in a fair fight."

"Well then I don't really see the reason for Billy to fight fair." said Chazz.

"What do you mean?"

"Tactics Truesdale." said Hassleberry "He thinks the sarge is a cheater, so he doesn't expect him to fight fair, so he probably doesn't plan on fighting fair either."

"Since this is the final event I think it's appropriate that Ms. Rhodes should watch and see who her husband will be."

Alexis was in a cage bound and gagged.

"Alexis!"

Before Jaden could move Billy raised his arm mounted laser on him.

"Touch the cage and I'll blow you to the moon."

Billy walked over to the cage.

"I just have to destroy Jaden my dear Alexis, then we can be together forever."

He removed her mouth gag as if he were about to kiss her.

"You diseased maniac! When I get my hands on you I'm going to…"

He put the mouth gag back on her.

"Why don't you keep it a surprise until our wedding night?"

"Oh God, I do not want to picture that!" said Mindy miles away.

"You said it." replied Jasmine.

"Bill, before we go any further I have to ask you something." said Jaden "Why are you doing this?"

"You know very well by now why I'm doing this slacker!" bellowed Billy "Because I love her! I deserve her! And you don't even deserve to be married to some fat ***** that's crawling with S.! And now I'm going to prove it to her by beating you in a duel! No, poor choice of words… I'm not going to beat you… I'm going to destroy you! I'm going to show Alexis and the whole world what you really are! A big fat fake!"

"Listen Bill, I've never cheated at anything in my life, and even if you beat me in this duel, which you won't, do you really think Alexis would love me any less?"

"WHAT KIND OF ******* QUESTION IS THAT?! OF COUSRE SHE WON'T LOVE YOU ANY MORE! THE WHOLE REASON SHE EVER BECAME INTERESTED IN YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE YOU BEAT DR. CROWLER BY CHEATING! EVERYONE THINKS YOU WON ALL YOUR DUELS BY SKILL, BUT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT THE BIGGEST FAKE SINCE THE LATEST UNITED STATES PRESIDENT! AND NOW THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW IT! ALEXIS WILL REALIZE HER ERROR OF JUDGEMENT AND THANK ME FOR SAVING HER FROM THROWING HER LIFE AWAY!!!"

"Dude, it's just a game. My relationship with Alexis is about more then just the game of Duel Monsters. She's not a bandwagon fan Bill, she'd love me even if I lost a duel. Despite my… academic disadvantages, she chose me. Love is a gift that can only be freely given, you can force someone to marry you, but you can't force someone to fall in love."

For a few moments Billy was silent.

"Well I can try. Now enough talk! LET'S GET THIS GAME ON!"

Alexis looked like she was trying to say something to Jaden, but the words were muffled by her mouth gag.

"I think she's trying to tell you to kick his butt all the way to Neptune and back." said Yubel.

"With pleasure." said Jaden "Billy is no Shadow Rider, nor is he possessed by the light of destruction, or anything else like that, he's just a piece of billion dollar trash, and it's time I take out the garbage."

Both Jaden and Billy walked into the center of the stadium. Suddenly a huge steel cage descended on them, trapping them both inside.

"What is this?"

"Well they don't call it a Duel Monster's cage match for nothing." said Billy.

"Will the referee please lock the cage at this time, now for those of you who are unfamiliar with this form of dueling; the rules of a Duel Monster's cage match are very simple. You cannot surrender, you are trapped in the cage until one player's life point hit zero or until someone summons Exodia or something like that, whichever comes first." said Laiza.

"Now let's get this duel underway!" said Sabrina.

"I couldn't agree more." said Alessandra "The whole world is asking the same question, who will be the victor?!"

"I'M GONNA BE THE VICTOR!" yelled Billy "WHAT KIND OF STUPID QUESTION IS THAT!?!"

"You said that three chapters ago." said Jaden.

(I am reminded of how in one episode Syrus says, "Jay I've been carrying that for 3 episodes)

"Does it look like I care? NOW LET'S DO THIS THING!"

"Bring it on, Iron Man."

They both activated their duel disks and their life point totals went to 4000.

"LET'S DUEL!"

"Since you're at a disadvantage in so many ways slacker, I'll let you make the first move."

"Very well… I summon Elemental Hero Sparkman in attack mode!"

(ATK: 800 DEF: 700)

"What?! Sparkman is supposed to have twice that many attack and defense points!" exclaimed Jaden.

"Ladies and gentlemen it would seem that we're experiencing technical difficulties." said Laiza "But the rules of the Duel Monster's cage match dictates that the show must go on until someone's life points hit zero."

"But this isn't fair!"

"Jaden, you'll have to go through with this, for Alexis." said Yubel.

"Alright… I play the equip spell Spark Blaster! And I'll have Sparkman use it on himself so he can switch into defense mode."

(DEF: 700)

"A good move Jaden, but unfortunately it wasn't good enough. Now I activate the continuous spell cards; Rushed Production, Machine Insurance, and The Spoils of War!"

(In that order: Not a real card, not a real card, and you wish it was a real card)

"What? I've never heard of those cards." said Jaden.

"Of course you haven't, they're all one of a kind, I got them from a friend of mine at Industrial Illusions who owed me a big favor."

"Okay… What do they do?"

"Well, once per turn I can pay 1000 life points to use Rushed Production's effect and special summon one machine monster from my hand or deck, but if I special summon a monster this way then that monster's attack and defense points are cut in half, I'll use it to special summon Machine King Prototype from my deck!"

(Billy: 3000)

(ATK: 800 DEF: 750)

"But he won't be staying around for long because now I'm sacrificing him so that I may normal summon Machine King!"

(ATK: 2200 DEF: 2000)

"Now the effect of Machine Insurance kicks in, whenever one of my machine monsters is sent from my field to the graveyard the average of their original attack and defense points is added to my life points."

"The average?" said Jaden confused.

"Sorry slacker, I forgot you always fell asleep in math class. Add the original attack and defense points of my machine king prototype together, and then divide the sum by two."

"Okay… Let's see add that together and… what was it's original attack and defense points?" asked Jaden.

"I'll spare you the trouble of having to dust off that peanut sized thing you call your brain slacker, the average of my Machine King Prototype's original attack and defense points was 1550, so now I gain back that many life points."

Billy: 4550

"He has more life points then when he started, and an even better monster!"

"And don't forget Machine King's special effect, he gain 100 attack points for every machine monster on the field, including himself."

(ATK: 2300)

"Well I guess it's a good thing I've got my Sparkman in defense mode." said Jaden.

"True even with half it's attack and defense points as long as your Sparkman is in defense mode I can't touch your life points, so we'll have to fix that."

"Say what?"

"I activate the spell card Stop Defense, and I'll use it to switch your Sparkman into attack mode!"

(ATK: 800)

"Okay, that's not good!"

"Machine King, Attack Sparkman!"

Billy's Machine King launched it's fist at Jaden's Sparkman and it went through it like a hot knife through butter.

(Jaden: 2500)

Suddenly a surge of electricity electrified Jaden's entire side of the field. He screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

"Mr. Jobs… could you tell us what just happened?" asked Sabrina.

"It's just one of the special features my stadium has, the challenger is shocked every time his life points take a hit."

"Jaden, are you okay?!" asked Yubel.

"I… I got a little cooked… but I'm fine."

"And since I just destroyed your Sparkman the effect of my Spoils of War spell activates!" said Billy.

"Oh great… What does it do?" asked Jaden.

"You'll be pleased to hear that it doesn't take any more of your life points slacker, but from now on whenever I destroy one of your monsters I can draw two cards from my deck, good thing too, my hand was running a little low."

"Incredible!" said Laiza "The duel just started and already Mr. Jobs has taken three eighths of Jaden's life points! He might be the one to put a ring around Ms. Rhode's finger after all, but it's like we said, this duel isn't over until someone's life points hit zero."

"Fair fight?" Jaden thought "I can't believe I believed a lie that wouldn't have fooled a girl scout."

"Billy may not be playing fair, but you still have to do this Jaden."

"I know Yubel, I'm locked in a steal cage with this lunatic and Alexis is on the line… My monster's may have only half their attack and defense points, and I may get shocked every time I loose a life point… But I'm going to win this duel for my Lexi… I don't know how… But someway in Heaven or on Earth I'm going to pull it off…"

(To be continued)

Incase you haven't guessed it already, Billy is cheating

Can Jaden turn this around?

Or will Alexis be marched down the aisle at gunpoint?

The duel continues in

Chapter 9: Evening the odds

(As if the title doesn't give it away)