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Disclaimer: NOT MINE, NEVER WILL BE! SAD, I KNOW!
I can't believe that I am here, that I actually showed up to this.
I am so stupid, I should have just gone and talked to her.
But you could have still ended up here, who's to say she even would want to work on the relationship.
Stupid subconscious always getting in the way and being right.
We were signing the annulment papers at Bella's lawyer's office and while I was wallowing in all my self-pity Bella and Ben walked in.
Damn, she looks good.
I didn't bring my lawyer with me today. I knew exactly what was going to happen, not because I have experience with this kind of thing, but I just realized that this is the final nail in the coffin.
After ten years of just waiting…all the fucking waiting and wanting, I had her, I finally had Bella as mine, and it might not have been the best situation or most desirable, but I had her back in my life and I know we could have figured something out, we just could have.
But we didn't figure something out and now I'm here sitting in front of her, waiting...the fucking waiting...so we can end it all.
Were getting an annulment, she wants to act like it never happened, like we never ran into each other, had one of the best first dates ever and then got married.
To just act like it never happened, I don't know if I can do that.
Our wedding may not have been ideal, but it was ours and now she wants me to live the rest of my life acting like never even happened.
That wouldn't be possible even if I tried, how could I live the rest of my life pretending like the best thing to happen to me…ever, never actual happened.
God my life is so fucked up and it just keeps getting worse.
God, look at her sitting there in all her angelic beauty, but why does my Angel look so sad, this is what she asked for, I'm giving her what she wanted, she should be happy, she asked for this, so why is she so sad?
"So Doctor Cullen and Ms. Swan, thank you both for meeting today, and so now we are going to go a head and get these papers signed and sent over to the court house to be finalized. Your annulment papers will be rushed through and will be handled with the most discreetness possible. So after today, it will be like it never happened."
Like it never happened…Well fuck you Ben Cheney, like it never happened, you asshole, why would I want to live the rest of my like it never happened.
Damn it, I just want to sign and get the hell out of here my world feels like it's crumbling beneath me and now I'm saying mean things to Ben in my head.
Ben was such a good guy back in high school, but since he is helping Bella with this I cant help but to hate him, just a little but, even if it is unjustifiable.
Maybe in like a year I wont feel like I hate him any more.
"So, which of the two of you would like to sign first?"
"Ladies first." I said motioning to Bella, because in all honesty there was no chance in hell that I was going to sign first.
If Bella wants us to end this so bad, then she needs to go first.
Besides, I don't think I would be able to handle signing first and ending it all.
It would just further crumble my already shattering world.
I watched as Ben slid the papers and pen towards Bella, but she sat there for a while, just looking at the papers and the pen.
The seconds turned into minutes and she still hadn't signed, but she had a weird look of determination on her face.
Was she having second thoughts…I wish.
Then it all happened in slow motion. One second I was watching Bella look at the annulment papers like they were going to attack her and then in the next second I had to be Doctor Cullen.
BPOV
I can't believe he actually showed up.
Well, what the hell were you expecting Bella, that he wouldn't show up and then later do something super romantic, confess his undying love and then the two of you would ride off into the sunset?
Well, no, but I don't really know what I was expecting.
And I just had mini conversation in my mind, what the hell is wrong with me?
So much is wrong with you.
Uhg, stop thinking, no more thinking and then that way you will no longer have conversations with yourself.
Easier said than done, but not thinking is what kind of got you into this mess.
My mind is a strange place to be sometimes.
Yes it is.
But here we are, the both of us showed up and we are going to do this.
I can't believe we are doing this.
But this is what I wanted. I had to sign these papers so I could move on with my life, so he could move on with his life.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way.
Getting drunk and married in Vegas to a complete stranger, because at the end of the day, that is exactly what we are. We are strangers we know nothing of each other except for what we learned about each other at are non-date dinner back in Vegas.
We are Bella Swan and Edward Cullen, two individuals, not a couple…it was suppose to happen differently…I don't know how different, but it was not suppose to happen the way it happened.
Fairytales don't begin that way, getting drunk, asking them to play dress up and then having an Elvis impersonator of all people make the marriage official.
I still can't believe that I asked him to play dress up.
It just doesn't happen that way. Perfect happily ever after do not start the way Edward and I started.
Even though if it did happen that way and I would like to keep the begging of our story that way, I can't, I simply can't.
So this is what I have to do, for his happiness and my own.
Well, at least I think this is what I'm supposed to do.
No, I have to do this, for me and for Edward, mainly for Edward. This is what I have to do.
So, then why do I feel like my world is crumbling beneath me?
As my husband, soon to be Ex-husband sat across from me I tried to gather enough courage to just sign.
I had vaguely registered the fact that Ben asked which one of us would like to sign first; apparently, I get to go first. I never thought I would hate my husband's gentleman side.
Get it through your head, he's not yours, so do it and leave.
Just sign Bella, do it like your ripping a band-aid off; quick and painless.
I picked up the pen, but it weighed a ton, like it was made out of iron. It just felt so damn heavy in my hand.
When did pens start to weigh so damn much?
I managed to get the pen to the paper that was going to end my marriage to the man sitting in front of me.
The perfect man, the best man to grace the halls of Forks High and just grace the world.
He had an unreadable expression on his face. He looked sad, maybe, kinda, I'm not sure, but if he was sad he wasn't the only one.
He probably just misses airport slut.
Maybe I shouldn't be doing this? Maybe we should talk like everyone keeps suggesting.
Well not everyone, I really only talk to Angela, but thinking was just becoming way too hard.
Stop it Bella and just focus, stop trying to stall, do what you need to do and then leave so you can go home and cry yourself to sleep, because it is now official.
No matter how right it was to sign, for the both of us, my world really was crumbling beneath me.
I knew I was going to sign I had managed to keep the fucking heaviest pen ever made in my hand and some how my hand and the pen kept getting closer to the paper almost touching, I had not realized I moved the pen away from the paper once already, but then everything around me began to slow down, like time was stopping…things began to get all hazy but I kept pushing aside trying to make everything appear clear, but it wasn't working.
I tried blinking my eyes repeatedly so that they would focus.
I have something that needs to get done and I can't push it back, I don't have time to have fuzzy brain right now.
And as I went to sign the infamous annulment papers, my eyes began to lose vision, the repeated blinking wasn't working anymore, all my thoughts began to disappear, and then my world went blank.
Beep, Beep, Beep…
Ugh, where am I?
"Well Ms. Swan you are in the hospital, apparently you fainted during a meeting you were having, and when you fell out of the chair you hit your head on the table."
"Oh okay." I didn't even realize that I had asked my question out loud and this doctor kind of seems like an ass.
"Well Ms. Swan, everything appears to be fine but we are going to keep you in overnight just to make sure that you are completely stable and you don't develop any head trauma," the doctor tried to offer a comforting, friendly smile, but it just came across as creepy and forced.
"Thank you Doctor..." I didn't even get to finish my sentence because he was out the door like my room was on fire.
Some doctor he is and I was going to ask him a question...I wonder if I can get a new doctor...
I wonder if anyone knows I'm here.
Edward probably does since you passed out right in front of him
I wonder if he is still here.
No, he probably left to go be with airport slut.
Shut up you stupid subconscious.
Why, it's not like you ever listen to me, just keep ignoring me like you have been.
I thought this day couldn't get any worse, but apparently, I was wrong. This day was the suckiest ever and because I went all Bella and passed out, I'm going to have to re-live this day all over again because I'm pretty sure I didn't sign the stupid papers.
I just hope I don't pass out at the next signing...that would be bad.
Sigh, I'm 26 lying in a hospital bed for the umpteenth time with possible head trauma from another one of my falls, my boyfriend/fiancé cheated on me after 10 years of being together and then I run of to Vegas for a mini vacation and come home with a husband.
When did my life become so…complicated?
I wish Edward were here…I miss him.
Maybe this is a sign though, maybe it is time for me to pursue…
Before I could continue my internal rant and making a life changing decision, there was a soft knock at the door.
"Come in."
"Hi Bella," he said as he walked carefully and stood awkwardly in the doorway of my room. "I wasn't sure… if you would want to… see me…but I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
I don't know how or when I became capable to use my voice, because the mere sight of him causes me to lose all mental and verbal usage.
That's a sign…
"Thank you Edward, I'm doing fine." I offered up in a small voice.
"Well that's good, so I'll let you get some more rest then…"
As he was walking away I couldn't help but feel completely sad that he wasn't going to stay with me and before I could stop myself…
"Wait!" I yelled a little too loudly, "Edward, if you aren't busy or don't have anywhere to be," Like be with airport slut, "do you think you could stay, so…I don't know…we…could maybe…talk?"
EPOV
I'm sure my face looks like a kid that has just been told that there will be two Christmases this year. I was completely and totally shocked, but fucking elated at the same time.
Talk, she wants to talk, I can do that, I've been known to carry on some spectacular conversations, so talk, I can do that. I can talk the most perfect woman I have ever known.
Well, that was a nice pep talk, now why don't you actually try and talk to her before she regrets asking you to stay.
Right, talk…
"So, how are you feeling?" Damn it you idiot, you already asked her that.
"I'm fine Edward, thank you for asking…again," she said with the cutest giggle I had ever heard.
"Well, that's good." Wow, great display of your wonderful conversation skills.
Come on Edward, think of something to say, anything, just talk already.
As I went to open my mouth to speak, Bella beat me to it.
"So Edward, would you like to sit down."
"Yeah, I would like to." I shuffled my feet together and then walked over to the seat right next to her bed. I hadn't even realized that I had been standing awkwardly in the middle of the door.
After I so awkwardly cleared my throat I decided I just needed to speak so that we could break some of the tension in the room.
"So, Bella, how have you been doing since we got home from Vegas?"
Stupid, she passed out in the middle of your annulment signing, the meeting caused by the trip to Vegas, why would you want to bring that up?
Even she seemed surprised by my question before she started answering.
Note to self: DO NOT talk about Vegas.
"Oh, you know working and stuff like that cleaning house, laundry, the fun stuff." She said with a beautiful combination of humor and sarcasm.
"That's cool, I've been working a lot to, I really don't do much with the house, my mother likes to come over once a week and do thing like clean and laundry, she'll even cook, I think she's convinced if I don't let her she'll never see me again, like the only reason I see her is because she does all those motherly things for me." I said with a slight laugh.
Gosh, was that too much information, would she think I'm some helpless little boy who couldn't let go his mother? I said too much, I know it; she'll want nothing to do with me because I can't clean after myself.
"Oh Edward, I'm sure she's just trying to take care of you, you're her son, she just love you."
"I know, and it's nice to see her, I just wish she wouldn't lie out my clothes for. I'm a grown man, I can do that myself."
Did, she just giggle? I was serious when I said that, but if I could get her to giggle after everything I said I would never stop talking.
"Oh Edward, if it helps any, she has amazing taste in fashion." Then she blushed, the blush is back, and it was after she complimented me rapped inside of a joke at my expense, she really is perfect.
"Actually, my sister Alice picked this out for me, she is also convinced I can not dress my self."
There it was, the giggle again. I love that sound.
Then in the blink of an eye the atmosphere in the room changed.
"So Edward, I think we should talk about today."
"Oh, of course, we need to talk about today."
The giggle was just a fleeting moment thing an icebreaker type of thing and now we were going to have rescheduled the stupid singing so we can end it all…fuck.
Why cant we back to all the sweet and cute giggles?
"Um, so when would you like to reschedule the signing for. You know I was thinking we could give it maybe a week or two so you have time to recover from this trip to the hospital, as a doctor I would recommend recovery time even if the bump on your head isn't that serious. It would be just a precautionary thing, but we wouldn't want anything serious to come up afterward, but we can do the signing whenever you like, it's totally…"
"Edward do you want to go out on a date with me?"
Sorry this took so long, but the good news is that I am now done with school and will have plenty of time to just write. I want to say a HUGE thank you to all of you who read for being so understanding about the lack of updates.
And of course I have to give another majorly huge Thank You to everyone who keeps reading and reviewing, it means the absolute world to me! I love you all so much! You rock!
So I'll see you all next chapter, which should be really soon, sometime this weekend!
So let's make the Cullen men happy and review! =)
Thanks again and see you all next chapter!