CHAPTER SIX A NOT SO QUIET GRAVE

Even as Harry thought of the woods near his fated place of birth, he felt himself being pulled there. The noisy streets of London where switched instead for the crisp mountain air and quiet solitude of Godrics Hollow. He looked over the hill at the small community, but that was not his destination. He turned on his heel to head deep into the nearby woods, out of the view of anyone who might have a pair of prying eyes. He heard the crackling leaves of the crisp fall day as they grasped to their branches for dear life, many of their brethren already victims of Harry's trainers. He made twists and turns, leading deeper into the trees which blocked out the rising morning heat. The wind that ran up Harry's pant legs began to numb his knees and he wished he was wearing something thicker then his worn jeans. The trail became unrecognizable, but the physical trail wasn't what Harry's feet were following.

He soon came upon a clearing where the sunlight beat down through a small gap as if to point out the two stones that marked the Potters' final resting place. The wind stilled and not even the birds seemed to want to sing. The weeds had grown crazy trying to strangle the life out of the already lifeless stones, and Harry began to pull off the thorny bushes promising himself that he would do better in the future to keep their tombs kept up. As the thorns ripped at his already sore hands, he thought about how thankful he was actually that they had such simple burial grounds. There where not many who knew their location and so he was promised solitude for as long as he wanted. Most other tombs from the war had become nothing more then religious tourist traps, with people lining up just to glance on them for miles and the chance for a private conversation with those entombed there was non existent. He had given up trying to visit Dumbledores' grave site as people traveled from miles around to touch the stone, believing that they would be able to gain his centuries of knowledge. They had never known him personally, probably never even gave his name more then a glance from their chocolate frog cards, but now that the war was over, it was as if they had been life long friends. His real friends, who needed his wisdom, would have to wait in line.

He cleared a spot on the leaf covered ground and sat down cross-legged facing the two markers. For a few moments, he wasn't sure what to say. He just sat looking over the blank stones and wished he knew what they would say to him if they knew what their only son had become. Ginny was right. He didn't know them at all, and as he sat wondering what to say, he felt as if he was just introducing himself for the first time.

He thought of all the times he had seen their faces, for the first time out of Dumbledores' mirror, from the spirits of Priori Incantatem, and the pictures that before now had resided on his bedside table, so full of love and pride for their child that they had barely known, and who had known them even less. He tried to picture what their faces would look like now if they heard what he had done. He strained to remember every detail of his fathers face and knew it would be hard and concerned. His mother might even have to stand up to pace the room to keep herself from screaming at him. He listened hard to hear their voices and know what advice they had for him in this desperate hour, but even the stillness of the clearing was so deep that ghosts could not be heard.

"Why did you leave me?" Harry's voice tore into the quiet and shredded it. " I need you!" He wasn't just talking to his parents. It was everyone. All of them. He felt like a child who had suddenly looked up in the store to realize he couldn't find his mother, but his had never been there. He had always been alone. Every now and then fate would be cruel and threw him a new parental figure to attach to, first Dumbledore, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, then Sirius, and Lupin, always just to toy with him and rip them away when he needed them the most. Fate was a cruel mistress and she decided long ago that Harry Potter was to be her bitch.

He wasn't sure how long he had sat there, but the breeze was coming in colder and he found himself pulling his knees up to his chest and rocking slowly back and forth. He couldn't get the words straight in his head and out to his tongue. He couldn't bring himself to disappoint them. He had to stand up to what every good son was supposed to be in the eyes of his parents. If they could be whatever he pictured, then they would be allowed to see him however they wanted to see him. He could remain a one year old boy who was worth dying for. He must have been great once. So many people had done whatever it took to keep him alive. And for what? So that he could bring down Voldemort? His parents had no idea that as their house was being raided that their infant son, asleep in the other room, would be able to do anything spectacular one day, so why was he worth dying for? When Dumbledore looked upon the face of an eleven year old boy with unkempt hair and unbuttoned robes, why had he decided that he was a stronger wizard than even he? Mr. and Mrs. Weasly had excepted an awkward twelve year old into their already bursting family tree without even a second thought and after several years of watching over him and caring for him as only a true parent could, they walked with their heads held high into battle for the sake of all their children, Harry included. Sirius came upon a young lad of thirteen, struggling to understand his new body and hormones, so why did even he feel it was best just two years later to fight to his death for his protection. Lupin had thrown himself in front of a young man of seventeen as curses flew from all sides to take the impact himself. He had been thrown back into Harry as Lucius' spell had hit him directly in the chest and as he lay, dead weight on top of Harry, he still even in death was shielding the Potter child. What had been so special about the seed of these two people that life after life would willingly throw themselves in front of danger for him. Why was he any different than any other baby born on any other day? Was it all just based on the prophecy that they all blindly followed? A drunken crazed gypsy spazzed out in a filthy low class bar and the entire world believed her to be a modern day prophet worthy of their faith and loyalty.

Harry turned to the sound of approaching footsteps from within the trees. He reached for his wand and pointed it towards the darkness. As if he was watching a photograph develop in front of him, a man appeared that made Harry clasp his chest to make sure he was still alive. He had stopped breathing but his heart still beat. Standing just feet from him was Sirius, his arms opening to embrace Harry. He couldn't get up off of the ground as his legs had gone numb, both from loss of blood and fear. If he thought it was hard to get words out before, now they were freely flowing, but the sounds didn't form coherent words. Sirius began to laugh at the bumbling idiot that so closely resembled his God son before turning and motioning into the trees to some unseen companion. Joining him from the trees came a much healthier Lupin then Harry had ever layed eyes on. He looked young and was smiling widely. Harry actually rubbed at his eyes as an older version of himself emerged from behind Sirius. The same messy hair, the same stupid glasses, the same crooked smirk. He was standing in the presence of his father close enough to actually touch him. His vision blurred and he knew that tears were beginning to form. For the first time in his life, Harry could look on all the faces of Moony, Prongs, and Padfoot at one time. The three greatest hero's in his life stood just out of reach of his fingertips.

James crossed the clearing without a sound and pulled Harry into a tight hug that buried his head into James' shoulder. They stood for several moments without speaking, neither knowing what to say. Finally James, pulling his sons face into his hands, broke the silence.

"Your mother wanted to come, Harry, but I thought you might benefit more from a man to man. Trust me, we won't be alone for long. She wants to talk to you badly, boy. I guess it's "man" though now, isn't it? Look at you, your a beampole! You look so familiar, but I hardly recognize you, son."

"How could you not recognize your own face, James?" Sirius remarked as he crossed over to more closely examine Harry. "Yeah, I think we can put a stop on the paternity test on this one. Lily was right. You do have a dick!" He plucked a chunk of mud off Harry's shoulder and threw it over his own towards James. Lupin chuckled from his corner before joining the group to lean on Lily's stone.

"Keep off my woman, Moony." James laughed as he rushed Lupin, knocking him onto the ground. James stood up, leaving Lupin laughing on the ground, and finished removing the rubbish from Lily's grave before sitting on top of his own. Harry tried to brush himself off to make himself look presentable, which proved impossible as he was covered in blood from his nosebleed, and then straightened up to his full height. It was as if he was trying to get initiated into a fraternity and had to prove himself a man now. He worried that they would not be impressed of the wreck that stood in front of their strong, smiling forms.

"So what's going on in your young life? There can't be much to get you into trouble anymore, can there?" Sirius smirked, but there was a spark of light in his eyes that said he knew Harry had found more ways to make trouble.

Harry looked over the faces he admired most, and was suddenly faced with reality. He had come to a cruel realization in his fifth year that his father wasn't the man he thought he was, and now his father would see the same horrible side of him. He thought, at least prayed, that they would remember that they had done some pretty bad things in their days as well. They were all staring at him now, arms across their chests, and Harry tried occlumancy to block them out. He had always expected that Lupin had been able to read his mind and he didn't want them to know anything before he could explain it. He wasn't sure if he had succeeded but he was slammed with images of Ginny kneeling on the floor, a wicked black bruise covering her normally white cheek, a look of despair on her face, but he was sure that it was nothing more then his guilty conscience playing tricks on him. He hoped that he hadn't just opened himself to allow them to see what he had just been forced to witness.

"I need help. I've done something that I'm really not proud of and now I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I don't know who to turn to."

"Harry, there is nothing you could say right now that would make us think any different of you." Lupin consoled. "We've come because we care about you. We want to help, but the first step is admitting you need the help."

"I...hit...Ginny."

"You did WHAT!?" Sirius screamed as he stood up.

Harry put his hands up in protection as he began to scream back at him with all of his force. "I would NEVER hurt her! I don't know what came over me. She was upset with me and she made a remark about how I didn't have a right to be upset about losing my parents because I had never known them." He noticed at this his father put his head into his hands and Harry noticed a slight shake. "I don't even remember doing it. It just happened, and now I'm not sure if she'll ever be able to forgive me." He began to shake and he couldn't bring himself to look up for fear of the disgust he would see there.

Sirius had turned so his back was now facing Harry, and James hadn't moved his head up from his hands. Finally James spoke, slightly muffled by his palms. "Harry. I don't know what to say. I feel as if I owe both you and Ginny an apology. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but she is a little right Harry." An incredulous look came across Harry's face, but James held up his hand to silence him. "Not that you can't be upset about not knowing us. It breaks my heart that we don't know you either, but you can't let it ruin your life. Many people have known you and loved you throughout your life, and now it sounds as if you have the love of a wonderful woman and you can't just throw that away for your mother and I. We are always going to be there in some form for you, watching over you, but she's right there with you. Loving you. You have to repay her for that. It's not easy to love a Potter. We've always seemed to attract trouble."

"No, James, you Potter's always were the trouble." Lupin spoke from his reclusive thoughts. "Harry, I knew you longer in the physical sense then either of these two, and I know your better then this. You've had hard times before, but you've overcome them. And way is that, Harry? Because you always embraced your friends and allowed them to help you. You let them be a big influence in your life and they just may have saved it, in more ways then one. So why not now? Let them in, Harry. Let her in. You can't be afraid of losing her, or anyone. If your afraid of letting someone in, just to save yourself pain, you'll be in this pain your in now for the rest of your life. That sounds pretty lonely to me. The war isn't over, Harry. The toughest battle is being fought right now. You don't have to do it alone."

"You've never done any of it alone, why now?" Sirius said. "Swallow your pride. Let your woman in."

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard a more moving sentiment, Sirius." Came a fourth voice from the shadows. A much more feminine voice. Lily, looking like a wood elf, appeared surrounded by a halo of light. She also crossed the clearing quickly to embrace her son tightly, but this time it was her head buried in Harry's shoulder. She moved back to look up at him. "That was because I love you." He was at least four inches taller then her, but it didn't stop her from smacking a hand upside the back of his head with such force that it knocked his glasses off onto the ground. "And that was because I love Ginny. And for you three," she turned to face the three other men who had stood to greet the presence of a woman, "why are you tormenting my poor boy. I know you mean well, but there was no need to put him through that. We're always watching over you, we saw, and believe me when I say that I'm not always proud of what I see, but I'm always proud of you. You have a good heart, I know you do, we just have to find a way in. Your father is right. Lupin is right. Sirius means well." She reached up and pinched his chin between her thumb and forefinger, "Ginny is right, and she loves you."

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Harry said in a near mono-tone as he was choking slowly on unsurfaced tears. "Ever since the war, since that final battle, as I watched my friends dying all around me, and me helpless to do anything to save them, I felt pieces of my soul die with every one of them. I have to wonder if I'm still even alive. Why I'm just a body that walks around because my cursed heart won't stop beating."

"I can answer that one. Your heart doesn't belong to you anymore. It won't stop beating, because Ginny won't let it stop. It's hers to control, and she won't let you just roll over." Lily looked over her shoulder at James and he walked forward to join his family. He placed his arms around Lily's waist and placed his chin on her head. "It is hard to love a Potter, but it's worth it." Lily smiled as she reached her head around to meet James lips for a soft kiss.

"Ginny knows it will be worth it, or she wouldn't still be there, son." James said. "Go to her. Tell her your trying. Let her help you. Most importantly, tell her you love her. Everyday. First thing in the morning, and last thing at bed, and a million times throughout the day. Don't worry about it just being words. It can't be. If you didn't love her, you wouldn't be here either. Go home to her and tell her you love her. She needs you to."

Harry looked around and noticed that Lupin and Sirius no longer sat where they had been and even his mum and dad seemed to be fading. "Please don't leave me," he pleaded "I can't do it alone."

"You'll never be alone. You'll always have us, but let her be your family. Please keep in touch, Harry. Keep us in your life. Let us know how the wedding goes. I want to see my grandchildren. We love you, Harry." Lily had tears in her eyes as she reached out to embrace him one last time. Harry closed his eyes, praying this hug could last forever, but when he opened them again, he was alone on the cold ground of the clearing staring at the two blank stones that were all he had left of his parents. He knew what he had to do now, but he had one task left before he could return home. He looked around for a sharp rock and when he found one that satisfied him, he began to carve their names so that any traveler that crossed the stones would know they were in the presence of two amazing people.

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Chapter 7 Teaser

It hadn't been twenty minutes time from when the letter had been pulled from Hedwigs leg to the time when Hermione had packed them both and was standing on the doorstep of number 12. Her breath caught in her throat at thoughts of what had once transpired behind these doors. It had been the meeting place of all of her friends and family once. People she had seen every day that she would never see again. She had tried to put all of that behind her but now she was facing it straight on. She looked over at Ron and smiled briefly before knocking on the door.