Sorry for the time it took me to update! I couldn't think of topics! Then…. It hit me: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Also, I have decided to name my chapters. I am guilty of the "no name" crime.

Anyways, I was going to do the iPod challenge, right? So I'm all, "Yippee! iPod challenge ahoy!" And then I look at the amount of those fics on and I have decided to let it die down to the point where it's not cool anymore! Sounds like a plan!

I thought I would elaborate on why I can't update fast enough. The end of the school year is coming, you see, and teachers are all like, "You have 59 projects due… by TOMORROW!" I personally think that is child abuse. Also, I swear I can feel my brain turning into mush, literally! During class I turned to my friend and said, "Dude, my brain is swishing around in my head and I do not like it one bit!" So sad…

The winner of the "quote contest" for chapter one is listed at the bottom! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or E*Trade or iPhones. I do own my brain, yet I sometimes have my doubts…

MindReader3614 has just logged on.

AgentLisbon has just logged on.

MindReader3614: Teresa!

AgentLisbon: Don't you dare call me that again! Is that understood?

MindReader3614: Yes, ma'am! And who passed the law stating that that people aren't allowed to call each other by their given names? Where is this person and who do they think they are?

AgentLisbon: Ha. Very funny, Jane. Why don't you go work for the Comedy Network? At least it would let me have some privacy for once!

MindReader3614: Since when was calling someone by their name a violation of privacy?

AgentLisbon: JANE!

MindReader3614: YES!

AgentLisbon: You really get on my nerves, Jane. Did you know that?

MindReader3614: Possibly. You get on my nerves, too. Shankopotomus!

AgentLisbon: What did you just call me?

MindReader3614: Come on! Like you haven't seen that E*Trade commercial!

AgentLisbon: I'm sorry, I don't tend to pay close attention to pointless commercials. Please, enlighten me.

MindReader3614: Fine, be difficult. But don't come crying to me next time you need to know what a commercial is…

AgentLisbon: What? Now you think you're some "Commercial Guru" or something?

MindReader3614: Maybe I do think I am.

AgentLisbon: You know what Jane? I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

MindReader3614: Fine. But I know you'll cave in.

MindReader3614: Any second now you'll reply to me. I'll wait patiently.

MindReader3614: Still waiting…

MindReader3614: Well, aren't you stubborn!

MindReader3614: For heaven's sake, woman! Also, wipe that ridiculous smile off your face.

AgentLisbon: And how did you come to the conclusion I was smiling?

MindReader3614: So she speaks!

AgentLisbon: Yes, I talk. Let's alert the media. Now answer my question!

MindReader3614: First of all, it hard not to smile when you witness my unfathomable charm…

AgentLisbon: Jane…

MindReader3614: Secondly, I can see you.

AgentLisbon: How is that possible? I'm in my office, with the door shut!

MindReader3614: Never underestimate the power of iPhones and windows. Now, where is that man who created Wi-Fi? He is now my best friend. Unless it's the same guy who passed the name bill…

AgentLisbon: Get back to your couch, dumbass.

And the winner of the chapter 1 quote contest is………… "Sorry Cho. I didn't get a major in Spanish." Give or take, "It's French, Wayne…"

Choose a quote and review, please! I love you all! :D