Instant Rewind: Chapter 4

Angel awoke the following morning with the sun warm on his face through the nearly sheer curtains of his penthouse. Yawning and stretching noisily, Angel extended his body the full length of the bed and sighed. For the first time since he had awoken in this bizarre world, Angel felt like he'd had a good nights rest. He couldn't remember what he had dreamt about, if he had at all, but he was glad that whatever it was he didn't remember it. Most of his dreams as of late had been nightmares: deaths, destruction, pain…the end of the world; his blissful night was a long time coming since the end of days. Closing his eyes, Angel dozed for a few extra moments when a soft moan to his right caught his attention. Turning his head, he looked over to see blonde hair and a petite frame. Buffy. Angel smiled and rolled onto his side. Her back was exposed to him and he traced his eyes down her tanned skin. Whatever marks had scared her body were gone now barely visible against her light copper skin. From what Angel remember, he knew that Buffy loved to be in the sun; therefore it didn't surprise him that her skin was sun kissed and glowing. Lift his hand; he lightly followed the contours of her back drawing lazy circles. He noticed as he explore her backside that a noticeable tattoo of two back to back crescent moons sat in the small of her back. Frowning, he moved the covers back to take a closer look. His mind went into overdrive as he thought of where he had seen that symbol before. It reminded him of the sign for Gemini, however Buffy was not a Gemini. He allowed his finger to draw around the small piece of art familiarizing himself with it so he could look it up later. Slowly, she began to shift and move under his touch. She rolled over and locked her green eyes with his. Propped up on his elbow Angel smiled down at her. Smiling back, Buffy brought up a hand and rested it on his cheek.

"Morning." She said. The black eye that she'd had was nearly gone. Angel was determined to find out the real reason she had received her black eye but he had been so preoccupied that he had forgotten about it.

"Morning." She shifted her body so she was facing him. Angel had been nervous sleeping in the same bed with Buffy. He was sure that this dimensions Angel was not, but he had not been in the same bed with Buffy since she was seventeen. As she moved she held the sheet in place over her and nestled her head into his chest. She took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"It's so quiet." She said. Angel laughed. Right now it was quiet but soon it wouldn't be. Angel let his arm fall around her slender shoulders and brought her closer. If Spike could see me now…Angel chuckled again. Buffy raised her head and looked at his face.

"What?" She asked. Angel smiled and tucked her head under his chin.

"Nothing." Angel closed his eyes and allowed himself to inhale her sent deeply. Pain took hold of his blissful moment. Angel thought of the redhead that this Angel had been sleeping with. He was sure he had to tell her, but he wasn't sure how. Was it even his responsibility to tell her? If he was going to be here for a while, he would have to. It was already eating away at his conscience; he had no reason to give her because he had no idea what the other Angel's motivation was to initiate the affair in the first place. His brows creased together and the woman beside him felt his frown. She raised her head and brought her hand to smooth out his furrowed brow.

"What has you so worried? Frowning is bad for you…" She ran her hand over his face and then down his cheek. Angel lowered his head and stared into her eyes. He would have to tell her…but not now.

"I was just thinking about…" Angel had to think of something to say.

"About what?" She asked. Angel rolled over onto his back and put an arm over his head. He had so many things on his mind, where should he begin?

"Where do you want me to start?" He asked her. Buffy twisted around and put her pillow against the headboard. She reached over the side of the bed and pulled up her tank top. Quickly she threw it on and then put the covers down. She sat back on the pillow and crossed her arms.

"I find the best place to start is the beginning." Angel sat up and put his pillow in the same position, leaning back Angel tried to organize his thoughts.

"You're going to think I'm crazy, but here it goes…" Angel thought for only an instant more before he began his long story about what he remembered and what he didn't, "I can't really explain it well but I'm telling you I don't remember anything. What I remember is fighting in the pit of Los Angeles, which was a burning inferno not all happy and put together, then getting corner and hit on the head…hard. Then I woke up here next to you. You're not in my world…I think you're in Rome, or at least somewhere in the European end of the world. All my friends are gone, at least a good majority of them, and I don't have children…other than Connor and for the last few weeks I have been trying to figure out how the hell I got here." Buffy studied his face as she took in what he had just told him. She would be lying to herself if she didn't think he was crazy; but he had been acting strangely for Angel. For one he had barely touched her…if it wasn't for her on initiatives he would have avoided her at all cost. He was active with their kids, but not as hostile and angry. Not to mention he didn't go to work first thing in the morning anymore…maybe something was wrong. She didn't really want to believe it. She liked the way he was acting…like the Angel she remembered.

"I don't think you're crazy," She said at length, "but…"

"I knew there would be a but." Angel heaved closing his eyes. Buffy took a breath and cleared her throat.

"But…I think you hit your head a lot harder than you thought. Have you gone to the…"

"Yes, I have gone to the healers. There is nothing mentally, physically or mystically wrong with me." He said.

"Okay, but maybe they didn't look hard enough."

"Look, I didn't hit my head. According to Lindsey, someone tried to kill me. Someone who works here actually. I have had that man taken care of but to be honest I think it goes higher up than this one measly little lawyer." Buffy looked down he told her this. She remained silent; she already knew all of this. The part she didn't know was that the threat was still very much alive.

"Why didn't you tell me that sooner?" She asked. Her voice was tight and Angel thought she was going to get angry.

"I…I didn't want to worry you. Besides, like I said, things here are just too strange and don't fit. There is something more going on here than I know."

"Have you thought to check the Wolfram & Hart archives?" She asked. Angel was silent for moment. He hadn't thought of that one. God, I'm dumb. I should have thought of that earlier. The Wolfram & Hart archives held everything. There might actually be something in them about the assassination attempt and what had happened to him.

"No, I hadn't thought of those, but now I will."

"Look, I really think you should talk to Lindsey about all this…the not really being you part. He might be able to have someone look into a curse or spell that someone might have placed on you. Or it could be because of the merger you have gotten yourself into." Buffy didn't believe Angel about the not being him part, but she would at least make the suggestions he needed to make him feel better. Maybe Wesley could help…he owes me more than he knows. As if reading her mind, Angel said:

"I need Wesley. He would understand."

"Maybe you should go and see him." She suggested.

"I would but Lindsey said I fired them so I have no idea where they were." Buffy fought with herself. Should she tell him or not? Would he wonder how she knew about Wesley and his operation? There was no real harm in tell him, he wouldn't hurt him.

"He is at the Hotel."

"The Hotel? Like my old hotel?" He asked. Buffy nodded, "Huh, suppose I should have figured that one."

"After you fired him, he took up shop their with everyone. CW Investigations now…instead of Angel Investigations."

"Makes sense that they wouldn't keep the old name…they must really hate me." He said. Buffy took Angel's hand and kissed it.

"They don't hate you…" Off his look she changed her words, "Okay, they hate you. But there is no harm in talking to them. I always hoped that you all would work things out. Especially for Connor…" Shame washed over Angel.

"Yeah, Connor. Do you by chance know how he is?" He asked her.

"He's good. I don't see him often but sometimes I see him around downtown when I'm with the kids. He always smiles at me and says hello. Then he walks away. He looks fine." She said. She would never really reveal that she was getting to know Connor a lot better than he knew. He was hurting. He missed his dad, but he was so angry at what he had done.

"Well, that's good. At least he is happy." Happy, sure. Buffy thought.

"Everything is so…wrong. I wish I could understand things. Running this company was such a bad idea to start. I thought that I could do some good, and then I get drawn in deeper than I ever imagined. How can you stand it?" He asked her. Buffy leaned away from her pillow and moved towards him. She straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Angel didn't flinch away this time; instead he put his arms around her small waist and drew her closer.

"How can I stand it? I stand it because I love you. That never changed no matter what job you took on. No matter where you go or what you do, I will love you." She said. Angel moved his hands up her back and rubbed her shoulders. She leaned her head now and let her forehead rest on his.

"I love you, more than you know." He replied. Buffy smiled as Angel titled his head up to grasp her lips. He kissed her slowly at first, and then allowing his love for her to grow inside, the kiss grew with intensity and passion. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck tighter and locked her knees around his hips. Buffy's hands wrapped themselves in Angel's hair holding his head in place. Desire flooded through Buffy's body. It had been a long time since she had felt this way in Angel's arms. Most times, Angel was rough. She had gotten used to it after a while but it had been a long time since he was soft and gentle. Buffy blushed from the memories of their first time together. Heat took over her body as Angel's hand explored her. Slowly, she shifted on him sending shockwaves through his body. Pulling away, Angel tired to catch his breath…not that he needed it.

"Wait…I…"

"What?" Buffy asked flushed and horny, "What's wrong?"

"I, we shouldn't…"

"What are you talking about? Angel, nothing is going to happen." She leaned down to kiss him again. She caught his lips before he could pull away. Angel's mind swirled with the dos and don'ts of the situation. Logic told him that everything was fine…they had two children together and obviously they were able to have sex because of the evidence apparent on her body. But he wasn't sure if he should; what if this change in the curse didn't apply to him? Angel's mind swam in his thoughts but his battle was about to be lost. He was losing control of his logic and his mind. His body reacted to Buffy's every move and touch like it was on fire. Angel's hands moved up under Buffy's shirt forcing her to lift her arms over her head. Pulling the piece of cloth away from her small form, Angel peppered kissed along her jaw-line and down her neck. Buffy arched into him exposing her flesh to him. The door to the bedroom opened abruptly and a small figured bounced into the room. Angel pulled Buffy towards him; Buffy turned her head to see Isabella jump up on the bed.

"Mommy! Daddy!" She cried.

"Hi, baby" Buffy said, "Could you do mommy a big favour?" The little girl nodded her head and smiled, "Could you give mommy and daddy one minute to get up?"

"Do I have to? I don't want to play with Liam anymore."

"It will only take a minute." Buffy pressed. Pouting, Isabella got off the large bed and walked out of the room closing the door. Buffy turned back to Angel; if Angel had been human he would have been three shades of red by now. Angel lowered his head and let his head fall into Buffy's chest. She hugged his head and laughed.

"And the quiet is over." She said with a smile. Angel lifted his head and laughed with her.

"I guess it is." Thank god! Angel thought, Any longer and I would have been in a lot of trouble…Buffy got off of Angel and pulled her shirt over her head. Looking down, Buffy's smiled widened.

"I think a shower…a cold one…might be in order for you." She said. Leaning over him, she kissed him softly, "I'll see you out there." Leaving Angel, she left the bedroom to deal with the chaos outside.

--

The first thing Angel did when he went down to his offices was go down to the archives room. Usually, he would have used Harmony to get his files but this was a more personal matter. There were several things Angel was interesting in finding out: first, whether someone had altered his mind or had the world altered around him; two, how he and Buffy are together in a more intimate setting; and three, how the hell he could get out of here. Not that he didn't want to stay…he did…but this was all wrong. Angel signed himself in and told the clerk that no one was to come in after him. He was the CEO after all and he had to ability to do whatever he wanted. Locking the door behind him, Angel first went for the easiest of his three questions to answer: Buffy. He remembered that symbol from long ago. Looking through an ancient magicians book after he had killed him back in the 1800s. Rummaging through the 's' files he finally found her name. Taking out the file, Angel walked over to a small desk and opened the file. Angel wasn't surprised that Wolfram & Hart had an entire file on the life and times of Buffy Summers. They had material in her file from when she was first activated back in 1996. Everything from burning down her high school gym to every event that transpired in Sunnydale to how she came to be with Angel. Angel skipped what he already knew, all though some of the comments recorded were worth a second look, stopping when she arrived back in Los Angeles.

According to Wolfram & Hart files, Buffy had come back to L.A. to convince Angel to give up his job at Wolfram & Hart. The file stated that she was already too late; Angel had already signed over his soul and joined the Circle of the Black Thorn. For reasons unknown, she made the decision to stay. This part of the file was incomplete; Wolfram & Hart could make all the assumptions they wanted, but her feelings and thoughts were her own. He would have to ask her one of these days the real reason she stuck around to deal with his crap. Skipping a bit more Angel found a section about a procedure she went through six months after she arrived. Picking up the paper, Angel read:

"Buffy Anne Summers has volunteered to a Merger of Souls. Make note, that no other Merger between a vampire and human has ever taken place. Any records of this event are slim to none, and the cases that are record neither victim survives. The Merger of Souls is the procedure in which a host takes on a secondary soul. The souls then live together for a period of time then after that time the 'guest' soul is reborn in physical form. The host then relives the memories and experiences of their 'guest' soul. From that moment forward, the souls exist together unable to live apart from each other. They are completely dependent on the other: for one to exist the other must, if one should fall the other will follow." Angel continued to read the file:

"Week 5: The Slayer has awoken. For three days she has remained as such. She refuses to sleep and to eat. If she eats at all it is cheese or milk. The Slayer is exhibiting some vampire symptoms: her body temperature has dropped several degrees to match that of Angel; she is stronger than any recorded Slayer; her ability to heal has far exceeded our expectations; and at times, she thirsts for blood." Angel put his hand over his mouth as he continued to read:

"Week 22: The Slayer cries consistently. She is actively reliving Angel's memories. The memories concerning Angelus are particularly hard for her. At time her emotions take control and her temper brings her to most violent results. The only calming presence is Angel…if not for him, she would surely not survive." Angel put the paper down. What had she done? Why would she think this was a good idea? What would her motivations be? There was nothing in the file that explain the reasoning and motivation behind her actions. He didn't want to read anymore but he had to know how he had children, how this Merger actually worked. Sifting through the papers once more, Angel found a report that pertained to him:

"Angel came to us demanding to know what the Merger had done to him. Several tests were performed: exposure to sunlight resulted in no effect, he was able to withstand the effects of the rays; food has become a necessity to his every day life; his body temperature (including Buffy's) has increased several degrees, he can now fool our vampire sensors; and breathing has become evident. More tests will be necessary to ascertain any further symptoms…" Continuing Angel discovered that he was no longer sensitive to cross, garlic or holy water. Their combined strength and ability was far beyond any other creature and a side note included that Buffy now shared in his immortality. There was still nothing about the children…Angel continued to read and discovered that as soon as Buffy and Angel were healed from the process they had married. Within a year of her being back they were married and she had become pregnant…here it is!

"Buffy came to us with the most unusual news. Upon further examination the Slayer is pregnant. The child appears to be healthy and developing at a natural and normal rate. From what we can tell the child belongs to Angel. It is possible that the Merger has had another effect on Angel: reproduction. It makes sense to us that his could be a result of such a procedure. They share everything; it only makes sense that they would share procreation as well." Angel leaned back in his chair and rubbed his head. So they were his kids right down to their DNA. Because of the Merger of Souls, Angel was able to live a human life through Buffy. However the consequence of this Merger was that they were so completely dependent on one another that if one was to die, they both would. Angel rubbed his eyes and thought about what he had read. As they skimmed over the file and was ready to put it away he read one final note, it was date for 6 months ago:

"Buffy has come to us with an unusual symptom. She claims that she knows and feels what her husband is thinking and feeling. She claims that when he is upset she is upset; when she is happy he is happy and vice versa. She is concerned that the Merger is taking on a different aspect: complete and utter co-dependence down to every emotion. Similarly, when Angel was hurt during a fight, she found an identical laceration on her right arm – exactly the same as Angels…" Oh my god. Angel thought of all the things he had been thinking and feeling lately and wondered if she knew about them. Putting all the papers back into the folder, Angel closed the file and replaced it to the proper cabinet. Wolfram & Hart was full of these cabinets, and he had only just begun to find out what this world was all about. As Angel began to search for material that might explain what happened to him, he thought of the redhead from his office. Did she know about the affair? If they were so similar, could it be possible that she already knew?

--

Lindsey walked around the offices his anger mounting. Angel had blown him off again. He had gone upstairs to find out that he had left already but Buffy wouldn't tell him where he was going. Lindsey walked up to Harmony's desk and tapped his finger on the table. She looked up and smiled.

"Hey Lindsey! What can I do for you?"

"Where is Angel?" He demanded.

"Wow, why are you so cranky?"

"Where is Angel…last time." He stated

"He went down to the archives hours ago. He wouldn't even let me help him." Lindsey walked away from Harmony and headed towards the elevator. What was he doing down there? When Angel had first proposed that he co-run Wolfram & Hart with him, he had thought the vampire was insane. Lindsey had no reason to trust Angel and Angel had no reason to trust Lindsey; but when push came to shove, Lindsey knew this company backwards and forwards. Lindsey was a huge asset to Angel and he knew it. So he had proposed that they run Wolfram & Hart together. So far it was working out rather well. Lindsey took care of all the lengthy paper work and business deals, Angel signed the papers and approved everything. The huge clan merger had been Lindsey's idea to put Wolfram & Hart in a better position with both groups; Angel had never really been a fan of it, but went along with it anyway. Lindsey rode the elevator down the numerous levels before he hit ground level. A stocky man sat behind a computer monitor watching a football game instead of the security cameras.

"He in there?" Lindsey asked. The man nodded and handed him the only key to the room. Lindsey took it and walked over to the door. Slowly he opened the large steel door to the archive room. Cool air hit Lindsey in the face as he crossed the threshold. Immediately, Lindsey walked into papers and file folders lying on the ground.

"Shit." Lindsey walked around the files and papers heading towards a small table lit by a single table lamp. Angel's form was hunched over with his head resting in the palm of his hand. He flipped a page, frowned, and then threw the page to the ground. Lindsey stood before Angel with his hands in his pockets, "You know you could have asked for some help…or at least someone to keep the files together." Angel looked up and rolled his eyes.

"Hey Lindsey." Lindsey walked over to him and sat in the chair opposite his boss.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Trying to answer some questions."

"Why didn't you just get Harmony to get you the files instead of turning it into a war zone? Do you have any idea how long this is going to take to organize the mess you made?" He stated flatly.

"I couldn't ask Harmony because I don't know exactly what I'm looking for. But I will know it when I see it." Angel finished reading another page and then threw that aside.

"Have you given anymore thought to what I gave you?" He asked.

"What?" Angel didn't look up from his newest find while Lindsey rolled his eyes.

"About who is trying to kill you? How are you wanting to proceed with it?" Lindsey waited a beat and when Angel didn't answer he put his hand in front of his paper spreading his hand out, ironically it was the same hand Angel took off years before. Angel looked up and glared at him.

"Do you mind?" He asked.

"No, I don't mind. Angel what is wrong with you? You have been acting really off lately, more off than normal. You can talk to me you know." Lindsey waited again as Angel thought over in his head whether he should tell Lindsey what was going on. Angel looked into the brown eyes of the man in front of him. Angel wasn't sure what he saw there but he saw friendship; this Angel was a friend with Lindsey that much he could tell. Sighing, Angel closed the file on the table and folded his hands.

"Okay, just don't say anything until I'm done." Lindsey sat back and folded his arms across his chest. Angel took a deep breath and rattled off his story for a second time after telling Buffy. Lindsey was true to his word he said nothing as Angel told his story. When Angel finished Lindsey remained silent. He really is crazy! Lindsey thought. On second thought…maybe he isn't. Lindsey thought of the numerous things Angel had done…differently…in the last couple of weeks. Looking around him, the files and pages all over the floor now made sense. Angel was convinced it was something that Wolfram & Hart had done. Lindsey was sure Angel was hoping to find some kind of answer among these pages; Lindsey knew there wouldn't be one.

"Angel, I'm a little concerned with you. Maybe the Healers need replacing…"

"Great, judgmental…I thought you were a nicer Lindsey than the other one." Angel stood letting the chair fall behind him.

"I'm not being judgmental. I'm concerned that the assassination attempt did more damaged than we thought."

"I don't it has anything with the assassination attempt…and yes I do have a plan for that." Angel said. He continued to pace as he rant through his mind that maybe telling Lindsey was a bad idea.

"I'd like to hear about your plans for that…because we have a meeting with them in an hour, also we have to fire you assistant."

"We? Why do I have to be included in this?" Angel asked.

"Because she won't believe it unless it comes from you. You are the one who has to face the music on this one. You had the affair, now end it." Lindsey stood and walked towards the door.

"What about what I told you?" Lindsey paused and smiled at him.

"You won't find anything here. Trust me. You might want to check out some…outside sources with regard to your more personal questions. We have a business to run Angel; you know that better than anyone. Upstairs in an hour…" Lindsey opened the door and once more paused before leaving, "I'll send someone down to fix this mess." After the door closed Angel looked around the room. Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair Angel left the room to face yet another war against the evils of Wolfram & Hart.