Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked by Stephen Schwartz.

Author's Note: Well, Kimbalynn616 said she wanted a song from Wicked, and maiko forever suggested a Maiko fic from Wicked, so this is a combination of those two requests. Both were pretty vague, though, so the story is still predominantly mine. I'm guessing Wishing Only Wounds the Heart will like this one, too. Mai pines hopelessly after Zuko.

I'm Not That Girl

Hands touch, eyes meet,
Sudden silence, sudden heat.
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl.

It was the requisite royal ball celebrating Zuko's official coronation as Fire Lord. Mai sat like a wallflower, a position she distinctly detested. However, she wasn't much of a dancer, and she knew she was lucky to even be here, so it didn't do to attract attention to herself. Besides, there was only one man she wanted to even attempt dancing with, and he was busy.

The months following the end of the war had been chaotic ones. At the last moment, Zuko had turned on his sister, helping his uncle escape. The two of them led the Avatar to the Fire Nation, an act that ultimately led to Fire Lord Ozai's defeat. For this reason, many in the Fire Nation were unwilling to accept Prince Zuko as their new ruler, so his ascension had been part of the compromise demanded by the other nations. They weren't crazy about him, either, but Iroh had turned down the job, and Zuko was distinctly preferable to Azula in the eyes of prior enemies. Ozai was dead and Azula imprisoned, so unless the nations wanted to look to cousins for the potential heir, a course that would undoubtedly lead to a great deal of infighting among the nobles, Zuko was it. The Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes would have been unlikely to object to civil unrest in principle, of course, but their representatives were practical enough to recognize that they would do better to support a stable, clearly legitimate leader they could work with.

As a result, the gathering here was an odd mish-mash that probably hadn't been seen in over 100 years. Mai found, however, that she wasn't so much paying attention to the diversity as to the way people seemed to be pairing off; couples were everywhere. Avatar Aang was dancing among them with that waterbender, Katara. They had just announced their engagement. Even Ty Lee had managed to score a dance with the waterbender's brother, although he handed her off to an earthbender with long hair and green eyes as soon as he thought he could get away with it.

Don't dream too far.
Don't lose sight of who you are.
Don't remember that rush of joy.
He could be that boy,
But I'm not that girl.

Mai and Ty Lee had worked with Zuko, each for their own reasons, which explained their presence at this occasion. Mai still harbored feelings for Zuko, as much as she would have liked to say otherwise, and once they were together again, she wanted to stay with him, even if it wasn't in the formal sense. Mai had only gone with Azula before because she literally had nothing better to do, and Zuko definitely constituted a better offer, no matter what he expected of her. Besides, the danger and intrigue of getting Iroh out of the city provided her with the most fun she'd had in years. Mai was trying to convince herself that it was enough to last her for the rest of her life, if needed.

Ty Lee, on the other hand, had never really wanted to join Azula at all. She would have much preferred to stay in her carefree life with the circus, but she was afraid of the evil princess. Having no real loyalty, she jumped at the chance to get out, not to mention the potential of meeting up with that same Water Tribe warrior she had just been dancing with and thought was cute. Mai supposed that these differing motivations made her more suspicious and Ty Lee more trustworthy to some. That might have been part of the reason Mai was sitting alone while Ty Lee was out there enjoying herself.

Every so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been,
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in.

Against her will, Mai's eyes strayed to Fire Lord Zuko himself. He was gracious enough, circulating among the guests and exchanging a few polite words, but to Mai's eyes, he seemed bored. She'd always thought she could read him rather well, although it had been more difficult since they'd resumed their acquaintance. He'd changed since they were children, and it wasn't just the scar on his face. Something inside him was different, too, something he hadn't allowed her close enough to discover. Mai suspected that only Iroh knew him that well.

Mai wished she were only bored. It was the way she usually went through life, and she could deal with that. Instead, she had to admit that she was downright miserable. During the time she'd been on the run with Zuko and the others, Mai had entertained the fantasy that the experiences they were sharing might lead to something else, something she'd been dreaming of since she was nine years old. Yet nothing had happened, and she felt that her chance had passed. Now, there were too many distractions, too many responsibilities, too many…girls.

Blithe smile, lithe limb;

She who's winsome, she wins him.
Gold hair with a gentle curl -
That's the girl he chose,
And Heaven knows,
I'm not that girl.

Whatever this new aspect to Zuko's personality (or maybe there were more than one), it added an air of mystery and maturity about him. Sadly, it only made Mai love him more. She looked away as he selected a new partner, trying to squelch the pang she felt. Of course, Zuko wouldn't pick her out of the crowd. Why should he?

There were many young women here tonight, most of them eager to capture Zuko's attention and his favor, and Mai was acutely aware that they were all prettier and more pleasant companions than she was. He could have his pick of them now, and it didn't matter that none of them cared anything about him while he was in exile. It wasn't fair! She was the one that had always thought about him. In fact, she had often wished that she had been there for that fateful Agni Kai, even though there was nothing she could have done about it. She'd been at the academy then, and by the time she'd found out, he was already off on a ship, bound for nowhere in particular.

She didn't even have a chance to say goodbye. Not that Zuko would have noticed. He never had, and Mai had been foolish to think that anything would change.

Don't wish, don't start;
Wishing only wounds the heart.
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl.
There's a girl I know,
He loves her so;
I'm not that girl.

Finally, Mai decided that if she were going to wallow in self-pity, she might as well do so in the privacy of her own room. She got up and headed swiftly for the door, paying little attention to anything going on around her. It was because of this that someone was able to come up behind her unnoticed, only catching her attention when he grasped her elbow, holding her back. Mai turned and was shocked to find that it was Zuko. He dropped her arm when he saw that she had stopped.

"Leaving already?" he asked her.

"Oh, yes…I'm tired," she lied.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Could I have a dance before you go?" He bowed gallantly. Heart pounding quickly, Mai accepted, warning herself not to think too much of it. She couldn't forget that Zuko had already danced with most of the women present. He probably just saw it as some kind of duty.

However, when the dance had ended, the musicians took a break, allowing Zuko the opportunity to escort Mai outside for a private conversation. Her cheeks reddened as it occurred to her that he might have planned it this way in order to have an excuse to leave his many guests and be alone with her for a few minutes.

Maybe her fantasies weren't so foolish, after all.

--

Member of the Boomeraang Squad: charleegirl, Jesus.Lives, Liselle129, Strix Moonwing, Avatarwolf, MormonMaiden, libowiekitty, Snows of Yester-Year, La Vixen de Amor, chocolatecoveredbananacheese, Aangy, and honorary member SnakeEyes16

Author's Note: I know Mai doesn't appeal to a lot of people, but I actually love writing about her because she's essentially a blank slate. Other than her crush on Zuko, we don't know much about her life and history because she's so reserved. You get the freedom to make up a lot of things. Oh, and I'm all too familiar with the feeling that everyone around you has someone, while you're alone and hating it, so I had to throw that in. The hint of Ty Lee and Haru was a bit of a nod to Jesus.Lives, if she's still out there, as well as to the animated short "School Time Shipping."

Review responses:

Snows Of Yester-Year: Subtle Kataang is pretty much all we get in the show, so I suppose I've grown used to it. Honestly, I'm hoping for something more blatant in the third season.

Justcallmewolfy: I actually thought Katara's feelings were pretty easy to interpret. I'd long thought about her regarding that episode, so thanks for the opportunity to explore it, and I'm glad you liked it.

Aangs fangirl1214: I could identify with her, too, so I guess I was able to convey that. Thanks!

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart: I was a little confused by your name change, but I've figured out who you are. Anyway, I'm not familiar with that song, but I'll look it up and see if anything comes to me.

libowiekitty: Well, I hope I can continue to make them better, but I don't know. I suppose there are bound to be a couple of mediocre chapters in here eventually.

maiko forever: I have the lyrics for that song downloaded, but I haven't decided what to do with it yet. Anyway, this idea was already in progress.

TTAvatarfan: I'm always amazed when people can say "So sad! Great job!" I do it myself sometimes, though. I'm not really big into sadness (I can generally only handle it in a oneshot), but I admit that sometimes those stories are the most beautiful.