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Title: Secrets and Sacrifices

Author: DnKS-giRLs

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Kanda-Allen

Disclaimers: Huh? You still don't know that we don't own them?

Warning: erm… Post M-Preg-ness, OOC-ness, AU-ness, angst-ness… with much sap on top

Note: This is the sequel to our story titled 'Shattered Innocence' so we suggest you read that first since none of this will make any sense without understanding what event formerly took place. Oh, and this story is AU based on the manga…

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Chapter 3 – Choices and Revelations

Allen felt his eyes widened when he heard the question that came from Lucy's lips. What made her guess about it? Why did she even think about the possibility that her foster parents were not her real one? He hurriedly tried to make eye contact with his spouse, the one that was being questioned by their daughter, but Kanda was busy staring at Lucy with shock and confusion written in his face.

Allen gulped. He saw Lucy openly glared at Kanda like his spouse was someone who committed some great crime, and it must be difficult to be the receiving end of such glare that came from your own daughter. He rarely saw Kanda panicking, but he knew that he was at that kind of state now.

"Why… did you ask a question like that, Lucy?" Allen asked, hoping that the question that had been uttered before was just a curious inquiry because Lucy and Kanda did resemble each other. "Didn't you say that your father was… Oh, er, I'm sorry for reminding you of that—"

"It's okay, Uncle Allen," Lucy interrupted. She did not move her eyes from Kanda. "I did say that my father had died."

"So, why?"

"Before he died… he told me that he and my mother were not my real parents," Lucy said, and Allen felt his eyes widened again.

"He also said that both of my parents were exorcists, and that we're separated by something," Lucy continued, with tremble underneath her seemingly firm voice. "My father asked me to seek them as one of his final request, and I want to know what kind of person my real parents are. At what reason did they let me be separated from them, if they really are my parents? If they didn't abandon me, then father and mother would still be alive now! If they didn't leave me, then all of this mess wouldn't happen to me!!"

Allen felt that his heart torn when he heard Lucy raising her voice and screaming to her heart's content. He wanted to say that no, they didn't abandon her; they didn't want to leave her and be separated from her. But he knew that in the end, he and Kanda did choose to left Lucy's care to her foster parents… at the cost of their lives.

Tense silence wrapped itself tightly between them. Allen couldn't say anything, and he doubted that Kanda was any better--he must be feeling even worse since he was the one being screamed at here. He wanted to communicate silently with Kanda, but he doubted that Lucy would miss the cue that he and Kanda did know something.

"Did you leave me because of Uncle Allen?" Lucy suddenly asked.

"What?" Allen said, while Kanda just frowned.

"I remember that you both are a couple," Lucy said coldly. Now her eyes switched back and forth to Allen and Kanda. "Did you impregnate my mother by mistake and then just give me to other people because I'm an unwanted child, and you didn't want to leave Uncle Allen?"

"You are not an unwanted child!" Kanda suddenly snapped. With that, Allen started to fear that both of them would say things that they didn't want to, and Kanda would spill their secret.

"Then what am I!?" Lucy asked with a high-pitched shriek. "Why did you have to leave me!? Why didn't you protect me like my foster parents!? They were a lot better than you would be as my father! They were there when you're not, they were there when I need help, they were there to protect me with their lives while you're someplace faraway! I bet that it was also your fault that I have a special characteristic that made me wanted by both the order and the Akumas! Why can I just live my peaceful happy life with my old parents?!"

Silence ensued, since both of Kanda and Allen felt that all of Lucy's accusation was what they feared would hear from their child if she knew the truth. It was not long before the silence was once again broken by Lucy's voice. But instead of screaming at the top of her lungs again, her voice broke down into a plea, "Please… Answer me…"

A quiet sob was heard after that, and Allen couldn't contain himself not to embrace Lucy anymore. So he held her tight in his arms, not budging an inch even though Lucy struggled violently in his embrace.

"Listen Lucy," Allen said with a trembled voice. "Please, please don't think badly about yourself. I… We…"

What was it that he should be saying? He heaved a deep breath before continuing, "We… know something about your conditions and your parents. And… We know that you're not an unwanted child."

Allen felt Lucy gripped his clothes and whispered, "Then, what am I to them? What exactly am I to the order? Please, tell me the truth… I… I'm sorry to accuse you both all of sudden so harshly… But, but I…"

He released his hold to Lucy, and put both of his hands on her shoulders. He then looked at the eyes that was so similar to his own and said, "I understand, Lucy. So please, calm down." He risked a glance to Kanda who seemed to try controlling himself. It seemed that Lucy was not the only one that needed some comfort. He squashed the urge to scream, fearing that it would make the situation worse. He hoped that his crumbling sanity could hold on until he had finished diverting Lucy's attention from this delicate issue.

"The matter of this is… top secret for… the Main Headquarters. So, even though the entire people working in the Central Headquarters at the time you're born knew about your secret, we couldn't say a thing about it."

Lucy gave him a glare. "Then just break the stupid rule before I go insane and pry the information from the commanders myself," she said with a scowl.

Allen couldn't help but to smile at the similarity between his daughter and Kanda.

Kanda suddenly voiced a question, "You would go that far?"

Lucy seemed to hesitate for a while, but then she looked at Kanda with a determined face and said, "Yes."

Kanda smirked, and Allen was afraid that he would leak their secret right then and there. But then his face turned grim again and he glanced at Allen afterward, as if silently asking for a permission to reveal what they had hidden for years.

Lucy, like she always did when she was still a baby, picked up the hint that Kanda gave, and now stared at Allen with a pleading gaze.

"Um…" Allen said, suddenly aware that his next words would be the judgment of it all. He gulped. "Er... why don't we discuss this issue at dinner? I think that it might be best if we discuss it with calm heads and well-fed stomachs."

Lucy looked like she wanted to protest, but her stomach suddenly made a gurgling sound. She blushed at that, while Allen chuckled and Kanda's eyes softened.

"Fine!" she snapped. "But don't break your promise!"

"We won't," Kanda said. Lucy stared at Kanda's eyes for a long time, as if seeing whether there's a lie there or not.

"Okay," Lucy said finally. "So, where should I bathe?"

Kanda pointed the door that Lucy was going to go before, "Go through that door over there. Allen, do you mind giving her your clothes? Yours is smaller than mine."

Allen nodded. "Sure," he said, relieved that the situation turned normal again. He rummaged his bag and found the smallest shirt he could find, a jacket, and pants. "Here, Lucy."

As soon as Lucy excused herself and closed the door to the bathroom, Kanda took a long stride to Allen, and then assaulted him with deep kisses. Allen let him, knowing that he also need it to release all of the tension, all of the guilt, all of the regret, and all of the joy that was triggered by the presence of Lucy. They kissed again, and again, with passion and emotion transferred to each other with each one. They broke the kisses reluctantly after a while, afraid that it would escalate into the next level. And while it was tempting, they couldn't really do it with Lucy only separated by a door with them. So Allen just held Kanda tightly, ensuring himself that his spouse was with him now, and that he was not alone to face the dilemma he felt.

"You're wet," Kanda said. "Why don't you change your clothes in the finders' bathroom next door? Explain the situation to them while you're at it. We might need some reinforcements. I'll guard Lucy here, in case the Akuma dare to attack us."

"Okay," Allen said. "But I want to make something clear."

Kanda frowned. "What is it?"

"Are we… really going to say the truth to her?"

"Yes," his spouse answered firmly.

"But the Commanders…"

"Screw them," Kanda said with a shrug. "The only reason why we handed Lucy over was because we wanted her to feel normal before she became an exorcist. Now that she knew that the things had developed into this mess and she wanted to know the truth, why can't we tell her?"

"Yes, but—"

"Are you afraid, bean sprout?"

Allen scowled, but then his gaze turned sad when he said, "You heard what she thought about us, Yuu…"

Kanda was silent for a while, and then he cupped Allen's face with both of his hands. "She's our daughter, Allen, she'll understand."

"I know, but…"

"Allen, what good it would be if we hide the truth forever? Do you want to relive the past when we had to deny that she's ours again? Do you want to reject this precious chance to make her be with us again?"

Allen just stared at his spouse, trying to convince himself that Kanda is right, but Lucy's accusations rang again and again in his mind. And even though he was brave enough to always face death, he found it hard to even imagine that he might be rejected by his own daughter.

"I love her too much, Yuu… I don't think I would be the same again if she wouldn't accept us."

Kanda sighed. He put his forehead onto Allen's and locked his hands with his spouse. Allen closed his eyes at that act, and savored the closeness. He then felt Kanda's warm breath washed his face when he asked, "Why did you have to be so pessimistic if your loved ones were involved, you idiot bean sprout?"

"Well, sorry for being a pessimist…" he said with a snort.

"I'm also afraid," Kanda whispered. "It's almost the same as when you were going to give birth to Lucy. But the bond of blood couldn't be broken down so easily, Allen. She will understand someday, and denying her the truth will be much worse for all of us. She just lost her foster parents, and while I don't think that she will just readily accept us as her real parents, she needs our protection, and she needs to know that someone is there for her. I can't say that all of her accusation is false, but I don't want to repeat the same mistake again. Do you?"

Allen opened his closed eyes and drowned himself into the eyes of his life companion. He then tightened the linking of their hands and said with a smile, "We're in this together, right?"

Kanda smiled back and said, "Of course."

Allen heaved a deep breath. "Okay, we'll tell her the truth, no matter what it would bring us to. But we should also inform Lucy that telling the truth will bring some consequences… I don't know what the Commanders would do, anyway…"

Kanda smirked. "Cross and I can take care of that."

Allen rolled his eyes, but he then smiled to his spouse. He gave a chaste kiss to Kanda, and released their joined hands afterward. "It's good that we could resolve this before Lucy finished bathing," he said. "Well then, I'll change my clothes next door. I'm starting to feel cold."

"I'll wait here," Kanda said after he nodded.

And so, Allen did what he had to do. He went next door after grabbing some dry clothes, and explained to the finder there that Lucy had joined them because of some circumstances. He also asked them to request reinforcements, but left the part that he and Kanda wanted to tell Lucy of the truth. It would do no good if the Commanders knew that they would tell the truth to Lucy before they could come up with something. Even though Kanda had said that he and Cross could take care of that, Allen doubted that the Commanders hadn't think about some counter measures, knowing they had gave them something akin to a heart attack thirteen years prior.

He excused himself to use the bathroom, and there, he changed his clothes and then splashed water to his face. After letting out a weary sigh, he got out of the bathroom. When he came out, he was informed that Lavi and Rinali were actually the ones assigned to pick Lucy up, but they were separated with the finders because of an Akuma attack and that they were safe and on the way there to assist them. Allen sighed in relief, thankful that it was them who would be the reinforcements. He nodded a little to the finders after receiving the information, and then went back to his room.

When he arrived, he found that Lucy had finished her bath, and she stood as far as she could from Kanda. Lucy glanced at Allen for a while, but she turned her face downward after that. On the other hand, Kanda just looked at the window outside and just spare a glance at him when he came back. Both of them looked tense, and Allen couldn't blame them at all. Fortunately, a Finder came at that time, bearing food that he had ordered before he changed clothes.

"Well then, shall we eat?" Allen asked after they were left alone again.

Lucy just nodded curtly, seemingly uninterested, but she eyed the bowl of soup with quite an intensity. Allen smiled, and gave his attention to Kanda afterward, "Yuu, do you want some meal too?"

Kanda just gave him a glance and a shrug before staring at whatever it was outside the window again. It was his way on saying that he was not hungry, and Allen understood why. His usually big appetite was toned down whenever he remembered the situation they're in now, and he guessed that his partner felt the same way too.

Lucy silently ate her dinner. Allen accompanied her eating out of courtesy, but only nibbled a bread slowly to fill his stomach a little without any noise. The silent dinner reminded Allen of how he used to eat whenever Kanda was around after they had just married. He remembered how they had been such fools around each other and so stubborn at that time. He remembered how long it took for them to at last understand that they loved each other.

He smiled bitterly at that. He hoped that Lucy's acceptance to them would be less frustrating and heartbreaking. He could only pray that their determination and love would be enough to ease Lucy's pain over the death of her foster parents, and made them accepted by their daughter.

Dinner seemed to pass too quickly for Allen, and he knew that he couldn't run from the unavoidable when Lucy looked at him with a firm gaze after she stopped eating. He smiled at her sadly, knowing that it was the time to unfold what had happened. He searched for Kanda with his eyes, and saw that he already stood beside him with the similar unyielding expression that was etched on their daughter.

This is it, he thought.

It seemed that Kanda didn't have any intention of telling the truth from his own mouth. He looked at Allen with a meaningful glance, a gesture that Allen understood as a sign that he wanted him to do the act. Allen closed his eyes for a moment, and then took a deep breath before voicing out the truth.

He only managed to open his eyes and uttered his daughter's name before some loud noise reached their ears. Allen's sense, sharpened by his many years of experience in battle, suddenly became alert. He sensed danger, great danger. And Kanda's tense form let him know that he was not the only one sensing it. He had enough time to stand from his seat before an Akuma suddenly broke through their room from the window.

Reflex took over their mind and Allen grabbed Lucy quickly while he invocated his innocence. He saw Kanda had also invocated his own innocence and tried to fend off the Akuma. He rushed out of the room so he could ask some Finders to take care of Lucy, only to find that another Akuma had approached the room from both of his sides. Cursing himself silently because he forgot asking the Finders to tighten up their defenses, Allen murmured to Lucy, "Hold on tight," as he jumped to the air and landed to the back of one Akuma.

"Cross Grave!" He shouted, destroying the Akuma with his crown edge, and proceeded to annihilate the other with the same technique.

"Master Walker, Sir! Over here!"

Allen turned his head to look at the Finders who had called him and saw that they had already erected a barrier with some civilians huddling together in fear with them. Several more people still being ushered there in hurry and Allen swiftly put Lucy there while shouting, "Stay there!"

He did not look back to see his daughter's reactions, his mind focused on searching for Kanda to help him. Allen spotted him already outside the building, fighting the Akuma that had attacked them. He noted that it was a level two Akuma, and without hesitation, Allen jump through the window to assist Kanda.

When Allen dropped himself beside Kanda, the Akuma laughed sinisterly. It took a distance from both of them and said, "Two against one? That is hardly fair."

Kanda didn't stop from attacking it, slashing Mugen every now and then. But as Allen joined him and helped with his techniques, he could saw that Kanda's movement was slower than usual. His wounds from their previous mission seemed to hinder him. The Akuma avoided their attacks with difficulties, and after narrowly escaped Allen's Crowned Clown, it distanced itself from both exorcists with a jump. "I'll show you what fairness is all about," it said.

As it said that, the Akuma disappeared into a puddle. Kanda and Allen didn't have time to react to the new condition before suddenly, that puddle changed into a line of liquid, and similar Akumas emerged from the line. Allen automatically scanned the newly formed Akuma with his eyes, and said to Kanda, "I don't know if those things are illusion or not, but they all connected to the third from the left."

"I'll attack the main one," Kanda said. "Take care of the rest."

Allen nodded, and they both dashed toward the Akumas, with different goal in mind. The Akuma seemed not prepared to be suddenly attacked, and as Allen activated his Cross Grave, he heard Kanda finished the main Akuma with his Mugen.

"Good job," he said to Kanda after they finished that battle. Kanda smiled back at him for a split second, but his face turned somber again when he said, "We better come back to Lucy."

Allen nodded as a response, and he turned away from the fighting area. Kanda followed at his heels, intent on hurrying back to where Lucy was. They both knew that the main target of the Akuma was her, and the people that were with her would also be endangered.

"Lavi and Rinali should be heading here," Allen said to him as they ran. "Hopefully we could get Lucy out of here and make the civilians here rest. It's too much for them to be in this danger because the city had two innocence now."

Kanda didn't say anything, and Allen didn't expect a response. No matter how much Kanda had changed after they had married, he still had the same coldness to people unrelated to him. They didn't exchange any words again since their destination was already on sight. Allen hurried his steps as he saw the Finders having difficulties in fending off the Akumas, while he extended his innocence to wipe out the Akuma in sight.

And then, the next thing he felt was a weight on his back that sent him to the ground after he heard his name was shouted.

He struggled to upright himself, and saw his spouse was the one responsible for it. Allen stared in horror at the blood that was oozing from Kanda's back, and he felt something heavy had slammed his heart when he heard the labored breathing from the Japanese. He snapped out of his trance as he protected them both from the incoming beams, and he searched the source of the attack.

Then he saw them: a level three Akuma, with the Millennium of Earl perched atop of it. Allen gritted his teeth while he still defended Kanda and himself from the seemingly endless beams with his innocence. The Millennium of Earl laughed sinisterly at his predicament.

The voice coming from The Earl afterward sounded cheerful, with a hint of dark evil in it, "Ah, how nice. Two souls united by the holy vow of matrimony are protecting each other. I wonder how the relationship that was so despised by God could possibly produce a child borne from an innocence. It is so… ironic isn't it? But do not agonize. Yours truly would help you in taking care of the irony… by killing the source of irony herself, perhaps?"

Allen growled at the Earl, and he risked a counterattack to the Akuma that was still bombarding him with beams. It fortunately worked, and Allen managed to strike the Akuma and the Earl with his clown belt, making it howling in pain.

"Ah, you young people are so feisty," The Earl said. He had dodged the attack before and stood unperturbed atop of a building. "Your daughter would not like it, I guess? But well, to give you credit, perhaps she never quite liked her life from the start. To know that she is not normal, that her parents are both males, that she was conceived in such strange and perverted way… oh, what a terrible, terrible reality. It's enough to scare some little children off."

Allen felt his blood boiling with the taunts. It made him attack them more fiercely with his anti-evil sword, which was avoided skillfully. The Earl laughed again before saying, "She must hate herself because she was borne in an abnormal way. Why don't I help you spare the drama by killing her?"

"Do not touch Lucy!" Allen shouted between his attacks. And then he heard a familiar sharp intake of breath. He turned his body in surprise, and cursed himself for not noticing.

Behind him, he saw Lucy looked at him with shock written on her face, a guilty looking Finder followed her in tow. Her voice was soft, but he could hear her said, "You… are my parents?"

-end chapter 3-

(A/N: we deliver you chapter three and with this please allow us to apologize for the somewhat crappy action scene. We would like to give our best to our readers and we indeed have tried our best but it seemed we are not suited to write some action scene so please excuse us. Those aside, please let us know your comment on this story and this chapter in particular. We hope to see you again in the next chapters but for now, farewell.)