_______________________________Innocence is not measured in years_____________________
"And Peter moved away from the door. His mother came home. She was hungry." Kanda was taping his fingers in a loud staccato. It was annoying. He had to do it just five more minutes, just five.
"And Peter ate the cake, leaving his mother starve."
"Kanda–san, why are you dictating me this horribly cruel sentences? Can't you think of something more…umm, more humane?"
" Oh, shut up! That stupid thing –"
"That's my teacher, Kanda-san! Why are you calling him stupid?!" Kanda closed his eyes, killing a flicker of amusement. The brat was taking him seriously.
Allen arched his back like a cat, scribbling down the dictated words. Sometimes he licked his lips at some particularly hard word, mentally asking the Creator how it is spelled. But God had more important business to attend to, so the boy just stared like an imbecile at Kanda's face, trying to decipher the bloody, dark secret called spelling. The only things he 'perceived' were a few more lines and dark circles under the man's eyes. Those dark irises were covered, face in a scowl, lips tightly shut. The staccato became a stampede of fingers on the tablecloth. Huh? Was he…irritated?
"Let me see." Kanda was closely watching the slow, ANNOYINGLY slow movement of the small, sharp hand. Seriously, all the brat was doing was eating all day. He could put some meat on, dammit, that would be only decent. Tch. Skeleton. The brat pouted, then uncovered the scratches on the paper he called letters at that demanding gaze.
"Mather henn was conting the egs. One eg, two egs, thre egs." Kanda almost groaned. Almost. Well, maybe just a little bit.
"Brat. Just because it sounds like a letter, it doesn't mean it IS that letter." Tch. The brat cringed.
"Kanda-san, this is so annoying. I think I hate English. No, I KNOW I hate English!" Shaken by this epiphany he got up, boldly reaping the paper from Kanda's hand. He ripped it to atom sized bits, snowing them on the carpet. Tch.
"And now, invertebrate, you will SIT down and WRITE it all again." The boy indignantly pointed at Kanda, furious that his revelation was not taken seriously.
"BUT THIS IS USELESS! I DON'T GET IT! At all…" Kanda arched a brow. The brat intentionally quivered his lower lip. Kanda arched the second brow. The boy put both his arms together, like in a prayer. Kanda frowned.
"Aww, come on?" Kanda slowly rose, turning his back at the brat.
"It's Saturday, pest." Allen quieted down. Something was happening. Maybe the fact that he was mega-ultra-cute (Or so Lenalee told him…) was playing a role?
"I want you to finish your homework, Moyashi. Otherwise…" Allen was listening attentively. Kanda had the habit to turn his back and speak coldly when he acted based on impulse. Yup. Something was definitely coming.
"Otherwise?" Tch. The brat was too curious for his own good.
"Otherwise you won't get dinner." Allen slowly gulped. He was thinking of those Japanese sweet balls Kanda usually served him for desert. Mitarashi dango. He sighed, his weakness, Allen's heel was discovered. He propped his chin in the chest, obediently dragging his feet to the desk. Kanda watched him closely, smirking like a snake. The boy turned his face, eyeing Kanda reproachfully. The snake narrowed his eyes. He was commanding him. Obey. Allen muttered something, suspiciously starting with G. Girly-ma-
"Have you ever been out of the city, brat?" Kanda suddenly asked, crossing his arms. His look changed completely. A few seconds before he was a poisonous snake, a mamba with deadly glare. Now, he was completely different. Calm, composed, a perfect adult. As long as he did not open his mouth, that is. And he did.
"The city is a shit-hole, just a nest for maggots like you." Allen twitched. There he went again. He exploded, throwing his pen at Kanda. The man caught it with two fingers. The boy admiringly stared, then realizing he was missing the point yelled hoarsely.
"I am NOT a maggot! Nor a Moyashi, nor an idiot! Stop calling me that! I have a name! A name, mind you! Allen! My name is Allen, you..you…G-" Kanda was suddenly very close, holding him by the collar.
"What did you call me?!" Allen gulped. Scary… When he was furious, his eyes changed. It was strange that he never saw that before. From deep blue and cold, they became a hot darkness.
"I didn't even GET the chance to do that! Girly-Man!" Silence. He just signed his own death ticket. Kanda's face darkened, resembling some quietly raging demigod. Allen swallowed a hard lump, cowering before the man. He pulled his head into the shoulders, like a turtle. Nothing. Allen opened one eye. It seems that Kanda was waiting for this very moment. He jabbed his forehead with two fingers, near the scar. Allen stumbled backwards, covering his face.
"What the hell, Kanda-san! That really hurt!" Kanda stiffed. The boy rejoiced. Huh, so the scary Kanda-san DOES have a conscience, heh? Allen felt being at least ten feet tall, victoriously rubbing his nose. Now Kanda will say 'I'm sorry' and beg forgi--
"Don't swear in my house, brat." The voice was unexpectedly cold and cutting. Allen felt his face growing rigid, as if the muscles gave up and retired. Huh, that's right, this wasn't his house… Well…
"But you swear all the time!! How is that Ok?" Kanda tcheed, moving away from the desk.
"I'm an adult, Moyashi, not a shitty kid like you." Allen smiled like a petite devil.
"You're not supposed to swear in front of children, Kanda-san. They're innocent and your rotte-"
"Innocent my ass! You?"
"But of course! I'm only Thirteen!How more innocent can I get?!"
"YOU STOLE PEOPLE'S THINGS! STILL INNOCENT?"
"Kanda-san, I was FORCED to do those nasty things! That's totally different! Therefore, I am INNOCENT!!" The kid smiled victoriously, killing any resistance on Kanda's part. Tch, damn kid. He had to be ruthless now.
"Innocent? I bet you already tasted what sex is like, not speaki-"
Kanda brusquely stopped his monologue, eyeing the kid. Allen grew pallid at his words. The pen he finally got back fell from his fingers, clumsily hitting the floor. His lower lips opened, as if he just wanted to say something, something in his defense. He watched Kanda unblinking, dead.
"I...um...Of course...n..not..." Then he suddenly laughed, more like mumbled the sound out, chocking. He lowered his eyes, still unblinking. Kanda jerked up, twitching at the sound of the falling chair. The boy raised his arms in front of his chest, as if shielding from a hit.
"Brat, don't tell me…" Allen weakly managed to smile, or better said twitch the corners of his mouth, still backing away. His face shuddered as if he had a spasm, eyes searching for mushrooms on the carpet.
"I, um… I have to…umm, go. Yes, I have to… um, go play the …um, piano. Yeah." He hit the wall with his back. Automatically assuming that the door was behind him, he pressed his hand to the wall, searching for a handle. Not finding what he was looking for he finally looked up, meeting Kanda's shocked eyes, just for a fraction of second, before discovering the door.
Just in that second, Kanda saw what he never had seen before. The boy's eyes were broken, shamed and dead with pain. Combined with that smile of his, his face became an ugly, repugnant mask. It made Kanda tremble. A shut sound of a door snapped him like a whip. The man darted out of the room, mentally shouting. There it was, the brat's room. Tch, shut. He hit it once with his fist. Silence.
"Open, brat." He growled, hitting it the second time. The door slowly creaked. A click and Kanda was inside. The boy was shaking next to the piano.
"K-Kanda-san, I ne-need to practice, I real-" Kanda stopped, having no idea of what to do next. He slowly approached the boy, unsure of his actions. Allen watched the man with fear. Was he going to hit him, name him those names, or, what could be much worse, throw him out of his house?
"Ka-kanda-san, I…I didn-" Kanda interrupted, firmly grabbing the small boy by his shoulder.
"Get up. Get dressed. I'm giving you five seconds." Allen slumped on the floor. His mind was blank, not able to react. His worst fears were slowly materializing, like at some freakish horror show. The man let his shoulder go, turning his face to the boy.
"Take your winter jacket too."
_______
The car stopped at the train station. The snow was somehow getting inside through invisible cracks, making people curse, spit on the floor, and break their ribs, slipping on their own frozen saliva. Allen walked half dead, still feeling the man's warm fingers through his mitten. He was going to abandon him. Who would want an… an used… He stumbled, not knowing what he was called. A whore? They usually called women that… A prostitute? But he wasn't selling himself. So he could not call himself that. He bit his lip, feeling Kanda's fingers leaving him, probably to get him a ticket. A used…person. He still was a person, right?
"Stop dozing off, stupid brat. We're going inside!" The boy snapped from his thoughts. He clenched Kanda's fingers, like they were the last things with Hope stuck on them. Kanda stopped and looked down, feeling his hand slowly turning blue from blood not getting in.
"Brat? What the…" At this very second the flood of people pushed them inside of the open doors of the train, stuffing the machine with bodies. Allen almost yelled in despair, feeling those fingers getting away, along with his mitten.
"Kanda-san! Ka.." He was painfully pushed against the window, muffing his cry with someone's coated back.
"Brat, what the hell are you doing?! Come here, Moyashi, this is our compartment!" Allen cried out, desperately pushing the people away. Kanda did not leave him, he did not abandon him! He was just a few feet away, showing the tickets!
"Kanda-san!" Kanda was pushed into the small room by the boy slamming himself into his abdomen. He almost chocked, sensing his scrawny arms around his neck. He was heavy, dammit! Kanda tried to push the boy away, but that made him more determined to choke the life out of him.
"LET GO OF ME, YOU…YOU STUPID BEAN SPROUT!" Allen slowly let him go, hiding his arms behind him, as if denying the previous movement.
"I'm sorry…" Kanda rubbed his throat. Damn, it hurt! Did he have thorns for fingers or something?
"No you're not! You're just a stupid bean sprout, and always will be! That is your official title!" Allen bit his lip furiously, trying to hold the tears inside. Kanda was furious, Kanda was yelling, he was calling him bean sprout, and he was here… He didn't run away, he never called him disgusting. He was here, close, warm and real and he wasn't going anywhere.
"One more time I'm catching you doi-"
"Kanda san, thank you!" The man stopped rubbing his neck. He looked at the boy a bit confused. Allen smiled, feeling utterly happy. He sat on the sofa only now realizing they were in the first class cubicle. They even had flowers here…
"For what?" Allen breathed on the window, drawing on the foggy surface. He wrote his name, thinking hard about spelling. Kanda tcheed, getting out of his long heavy coat. When he forgot he asked a question, the answer came to him via a murmur.
"For existing." Tch. That idiot never made sense. Still…
"Brat, are you hungry?" Allen turned to him, hopeful and expecting. He nodded rapidly, too fast to even count how many times he hit his chin in the chest. Kanda smirked, taking out a duffel bag. In a few seconds the table was full and Allen was imitating a hamster, stuffing both cheeks with food. Kanda watched him eating, supporting his face with an arm. The train moved like a huge heart, having its own rhythm, way, and soul. His eyelids were heavy now, weighting at least a few hundred pounds. Damn, he was not hungry anymore. The kid wasn't. Tch. He hated this kind of silence. The brat was eyeing him expectantly as if he was supposed to say something. Crap. Was he?
"Kanda-san, where are we going?" FINALLY no silence. Kanda sighed, thinking how to answer.
"I have a cottage a bit farther than the outskirts of the city. You have a week vacation. Put these two facts together and make a conclusion." Allen let his jaw hit the table.
"YOU HAVE A COTTAGE?! ASIDE FROM THAT EXPENSIVE APARTMENT? JUST HOW RICH ARE YOU?!?!" The man raised one brow. He decided not to mention that he had another two houses given under rent to a pair of bankers.
"I'm a lawyer, brat. That says a lot." Allen consumed the new information carefully, masticating every bit of every word.
"What kind of lawyer are you?" Then Allen snickered, amused by a strange idea. "I bet you're not a family lawyer. I can't see you-"
"I'm a corporate lawyer." Allen blinked, having no idea what that meant.
"A corporate lawyer defends a company, usually an insurance company." Allen furrowed his brows.
"You're defending an insurance company?" Kanda shook his head negatively, swallowing a yawn.
"I defend a car company, brat." Allen nodded understandingly.
"And that's how you got that expensive apartment." Kanda nodded too, yawning sleepily. Damn, yesterday was a hard day…
"Mm-mmm…" Allen stared at the now sleeping on the table man. The window let inside a few snowflakes that kept piling up on that dark hair. Allen moved rapidly and efficiently, so that in a few minutes the window was closed and the man was softly snoring on the bed.
The boy carefully took off Kanda's shoes, understanding for the first time how big the man was. Now that he was sleeping… Allen sat on the floor, staring at Kanda's sleeping face. He had long eyelashes. His lips weren't so tight. He was breathing through the mouth. Allen shyly touched his jaw, feeling the fine hair under his finger. He hasn't shaved from yesterday. His bangs fell on the high pillow, revealing the high forehead.
Allen smiled softly, realizing how innocent and simple the man appeared to be when sleeping. Just like a teenager. Allen inquiringly watched the man, as if hoping his face could tell his age. How old was he? Kanda never told his age. Not that the kid asked. He didn't dare to. Yet, there was a way…
He stealthily touched Kanda's coat, in a half a second drawing out his wallet. Oh, so much cash! And a dozen of plastic cards. License, license…Ah, there it was. Allen gaped at the document. Twenty eight. Kanda was twenty eight. Allen plopped on the floor heavily, like a Buddha statue. The man hardly looked like twenty THREE. Did he have an elixir of youth or something? Is that how he made his money? Oh! What an important revelation! He threw at the sleeping man a glance with a newfound respect. Putting the wallet back at its rightful place, he climbed Kanda's bed, making himself a nest out of a blanket and pillow near Kanda's feet. This way, he will sense anything, even if the man decided to leave in the middle of the night (Not mentioning the kicks he will get.)
____
Kanda woke up feeling refreshed and awaken. He slowly raised his head, listening attentively at the night sounds. The train stopped somewhere in the woods, picking up lost souls (aka: tourists), and sounds of the wild. A few paces, and he opened the window, letting in the snow and wind. Huh, the moon was out, watching him like a lovely Cyclops.
Tch. How cold it was, feeling the hard wood floor against his bare feet. Damn. Where the hell were his socks?! Damn, he hit his toes in one leg of the bed. Tch, the second bed was empty, screamingly white and bare. Where the hell was the brat?! He scrutinized the room and it cowered under his glare.
There! Tch. The hell! He was THERE?! But… He chuckled, crossing his arms at an attempt of holding the amusement at its place. He lifted the kid, putting Allen's head on his shoulder. He could feel his soft breath on his cheek, warm and ticklish. Hn, children could be tolerable if they were knocked out, dead, or sleeping. The runt shifted his arms around Kanda's neck, mumbling in his sleep. Kanda closed his eyes, accepting the embrace. Who knows how many misfortunes this kid endured?
Putting him on the bed, Kanda slowed down, ruffling his silver locks. What kind of beast could touch this boy in other ways than a parental one? Tch. Kanda stifled a jolt of anger and pain. He sat next to the sleeping brat, making the bed moan. The boy murmured in his sleep, the moon casting an eerie light on his dormant face. The red pentagram was now very well visible, evilly biting the flesh. Kanda frowned, touching carefully the scar. How much pain did he endure? How much pain will he suffer because of people's stupidity and envy? Tch. And the worst thing was that the biggest and the worst scars the brat received were caused by him, Kanda.
He scowled, watching the peaceful face. Bastards. He covered his face with the palms, feeling anger twist his features. He was only a kid. Just a brat. Who would be so sick… Damn, this wasn't going anywhere. He heavily sighed, feeling worn out just by thinking. Tch. Damn mongrels.
"Kanda-san? You're up already?" The kid was watching him sleepily, with his hair exploding statically. He rubbed his eyes, making sure he wasn't sleepy anymore. Kanda softly chuckled, his anger miraculously venting away.
"It was you who fell asleep, runt." Allen stared, quizzically touching is lip. He shook his head, disagreeing with Kanda's statement.
"Really?" He jumped on the floor, tripping on the small carpet. Kanda caught him by the shirt, pulling him close. He won't let him get hurt again, dammit. Even if he'll—
"Kanda-san… You're crushing me…" Kanda let him go slowly, as if afraid of breaking his small frame. He sat straight, getting the bangs out of his eyes. Tch, he'll have to cut them soon, or he'll die blind. Allen watched him with mixed feelings, taken aback by the sudden catharsis.
"Kanda san, are you sick?" Tch. What a simpl-
He shut his internal monologue up, feeling a small cold hand on his forehead. The boy shyly watched the man shake his head negatively. Kanda was acting differently. He wouldn't permit him touch himself so easily. Just like Lavi told him, quote: 'Yuu-chan was born with a stick up his ass!'
"Come here, brat." Allen approached, still questioning the man's intentions. Kanda pointed at a sofa, giving him a hot cup of cocoa, miraculously taken out from the duffel bag. Perhaps he had a thermos or something... He slowly sipped the brown liquid, feeling it rumble sat next to him, drinking the eternal bergamot tea.
"Kid, who had you?" The boy almost dropped his cup. Being caught at the moment between two sips, he coughed the cocoa out. He rapidly got up, putting noisily the cup on the table. Kanda stared mercilessly. He had to know.
"Kanda-san," the boy calmly started," I am not comfortable with the question. I beg your pardon, but it is two o'clock, and I really need to sleep." The man sneered. The boy's voice, manner of speaking and ever that calmness and confidence were sickeningly fake.
"Brat, I need to know." Allen turned toward him, holding his head high. He was stifling a flicker of anger.
"Kanda-san, I will not speak about that. Good nig-"
"What the hell, kid! I told you: spill!" The boy narrowed his eyes. He was looking like a pissed off cat. Even his fists clenched, supporting his position.
"Kanda-san," In his voice appeared soft, yet metallic notes Kanda never heard before. "I will not speak about that. I have no desire, you have no business." Kanda fought the urge to kill the defiant brat.
"Allen," he growled,"I do have business and you better have desire in a second or else..." The boy smiled, cocking his head. His eyes changed. Metallic, hard, gray, they resembled the eyes of a hardened adult.
"I am truly sorry, Kanda-san. I really can't." Kanda brusquely got up, grabbing Allen by the collar. The boy didn't even fight. He was smiling mockingly, killing every trace of sanity in Kanda's mind. The adult was gritting his teeth. He didn't want to hit him, yet he could't make him speak any other way, and it seems that the brat was very aware of it. Kanda let him fall on the floor, angry at himself. The boy got up, still carefully keeping his distance. Kanda stumbled to the bed, throwing his shirt on the floor. To hell with the kid, to hell with his past. he would just create white hairs and destroyed nerves. Damn.
"Kanda-san?" Allen's voice was carefully coordinated. The man did not turn to him, preferring to stare at the wall of his eyelids.
"Mmm?" The kid opened his mouth to say more, yet...He murmured softly, feeling indebted to explain his behavior.
"I really can't tell you. It is too shameful. I don't want you to know something so lowly about me." Kanda finally turned toward him.
"Why?" Allen stared at the invisible gnomes that were dancing on the carpet.
"You'll hate me if you knew..." Kanda scoffed. He sat up, dropping the blanket off the bared shoulders.
"I already hate you brat, so it can't get any worse. Well?" Allen hesitantly opened his mouth, turning away. He was ready to speak. Kanda tensed, ready to hear the name he was going to chase till the hell materialized. Three. Two. One.
"It w-"
"GOOD MORNING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ON THIS SNOWY DAY THE TEMPERATURE IS TEN UNDE-"
Kanda looked murderously at the crushed speaker. The boy looked relieved at the speaker.
The speaker looked dead.
I know. I am still torturing Allen. It is four in the morning and I am still writing. Tch. I think now I am OC. If you find stupid speling, blame someone else. I really need to sleep. Snooooooooore.....