Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "Raunchy" from 110 in the Shade, lyrics by Tom Jones.

Author's Note: I want to state from the outset that this one is extremely silly, but the idea just wouldn't let go until I wrote it. Another "missing scene" from their time in Ba Sing Se, where Katara has too much to drink and gets a little carried away.

Raunchy

I'll buy myself a brand-new dress
That's cut way down to here.
I'll buy some dime store diamonds
And pierce 'em through my ear.
I'll paint my mouth a rosy red;
I'll pour peroxide on my head;
I'll knock those poor old cowboys dead.
You don't believe me?
Well, just watch me!

Aang bolted into the modest tavern in the Upper Ring of Ba Sing Se with Toph close at his heels. Sokka and Katara had been out running errands, but Sokka had sent a messenger to their house to fetch the other two. Aang didn't know what was going on, but it sounded like Katara was in some kind of trouble, so naturally, he'd grabbed his glider-staff and come running. Once inside the establishment, he stopped so suddenly that Toph crashed into his back.

"Hey, Twinkle-toes, what's the big idea?" she complained, backing up and moving around to stand beside him. Aang just shook his head, unable to speak. Katara was standing on top of one of the tables, doing an impromptu dance and clearly flirting with the men who surrounded her and cheered her on.

"It's Katara," Aang managed to say. Since the table was wood, he realized that Toph wouldn't be able to get a clear picture of what was going on. "She's…." At this point, though, Aang ran out of words. He was torn between astonishment, jealousy, and, if he were truly honest with himself, a little bit of lust. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined Katara like this. Well, maybe in his wildest dreams, but not at any other time.

I'll be so raunchy,
Dancing in my pink and green sateen,
Feeling like a queen,
Wearing Maybelline.
I'll be so raunchy,
Gonna make them other gals turn green!
Honky-tonkin' every night;
I'm a raunchy kind of gal!

Wrenching his eyes away from Katara, Aang spotted Sokka, standing at the edge of the crowd with his arms folded, glowering at the general assembly. His subtly menacing presence seemed to be keeping the men mostly at bay, but there was no telling how long that might last. Aang went over to him.

"When – what – how?" Aang managed to choke out. Sokka shook his head disgustedly.

"Some guy asked if he could buy her a drink," he explained. "She agreed and went up to the bar with him. By the time I caught up, she was already downing something."

"What was it?" Maybe I should keep some around, Aang mused internally before catching himself in dismay. Aaugh! No! Wrong!

"I don't know," Sokka shrugged. "Something in a tiny glass." He indicated the size with the fingers of one hand. Aang knew enough to understand that anything served in a glass that small was probably pretty strong.

"Anyway, about ten minutes later…" Sokka left the sentence hanging, gesturing eloquently at his suddenly uninhibited sister. "She's had a little more since then."

I'll be so raunchy,
Sipping Dr. Pepper mixed with booze,
Burning like a fuse,
Shaking my caboose!

"Well, didn't you try to stop her?" Aang demanded. He regretted his tone almost immediately. Sokka gave him a withering look.

"Of course I did," he snapped, pointing to his arm. Aang could see the distinctive red welts left from a water whip and winced. Sokka added dryly, "She didn't want to."

Even as Aang turned back to the problem of Katara, he saw her grab a mug out of someone's hand and take a swig. The guys around seemed only too willing to let her borrow their drinks. Aang also noticed that she had taken her shoes off, and he wondered where they might be.

"Is it getting hot in here?" Katara asked suddenly, and Aang was shocked when she started to remove her trousers. She tossed them into the throng, and Aang guessed that her shoes must have met the same fate.

"Is that Katara?" Toph asked, frowning as she recognized the voice.

"Um, yes," Aang admitted. "She's, uh, not feeling well." Katara was still wearing stockings, but she was already moving to take them off. Aang thought frantically of a way to get her down from there and safely home. He was powerful enough, of course, to use either earthbending or airbending to do so, but he didn't want to hurt her. In the meantime, it was certainly getting warm for Aang.

I'll be so raunchy,
Stepping in my patent leather shoes.
When the cowboys see me strut my stuff,
Gonna crawl right on their haunches,
'Cause they just can't seem to get enough,
I'm a raunchy kind of gal.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Sokka broke in testily. "I didn't bring you here to gawk." Aang flushed and lowered his gaze. It was very hard to think with those shapely, bare legs peeking out from the slits of her overdress.

"What do you want me to do?" Aang returned.

"Get her down from there!"

"It's not that easy. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Hey! What happened to the music?" Katara called out then. Aang was confused, as he didn't remember having heard any music during the time he'd been there. "Maestro!" Obediently, a group of minstrels in the corner began a lively tune. Katara began dancing with the rhythm of the music, shaking her hips suggestively and stretching her legs out to show them to best advantage. Much to Aang's further consternation, she also sang snatches of what could only be described as a bawdy song.

I'll be so raunchy,
When I'm dancin' up and down the street
Up the county seat,
Tippin' tappin' feet,
I'll be so raunchy,
All the fellas think I'm mighty sweet.

The men called out to Katara and urged her on, causing something inside Aang to finally snap. Anger and jealousy moved to the forefront of his emotions, and he decided what he was going to do. Gripping one end of his glider-staff in both hands, he brought it down to the ground right in the middle of the ogling spectators. It sent air currents on either side, sweeping the men away and leaving an open area of floor in front of the table. Toph followed his lead, bringing up the stone floor to create barriers as Aang and Sokka quickly jumped into the breach. Katara looked down to see what was going on and smiled brilliantly when she saw Aang.

"Aang, I'm so glad you could make it!" she exclaimed. "Would you like to dance with me?"

"Uh…"

"Katara, it's time to come home, now," Sokka interjected firmly. He reached up to grasp her arm. "You need some rest."

"But I'm not tired," Katara pouted. "I feel great! Come on!" She reached out for Aang, ignoring her brother's grip on her. When Aang joined Sokka in pulling her towards them, though, she lost her balance and toppled off of her perch. Aang automatically dropped his staff and caught her around the waist, while Sokka kept her legs from getting caught on anything on the way down. Katara was so close that Aang was sure she could feel his heart pounding against her chest.

When the menfolk see me shimmy by,
Gonna break right out in shingles,
'Cause I'm guaranteed to satisfy!
I'm a raunchy kind of gal,
A raunchy kind of gal!

Katara twisted slightly in Aang's grip, gazing up and blinking owlishly at him.

"You love me, don't you, Aang?" she asked in a small voice. Aang froze. He'd long thought about making this confession, but the present circumstance was far from what he'd imagined. Still, there was something so pleading and vulnerable in her eyes that he couldn't deny her.

"Of course I love you," he responded in a low voice. Katara sighed contentedly.

"That's nice," she murmured. Then, she slumped against him, apparently unconscious. Sokka gently took Katara from Aang, blazing a trail wordlessly through the onlookers and leading the others back onto the street. If he had heard Aang's brief exchange with Katara, he gave no indication. On their way out, Toph returned the tavern to its original condition.

Aang was surprised at how easy it had been to say those words to Katara. It was just too bad she probably wouldn't remember any of it tomorrow. He'd have to do it again soon. He momentarily wondered if someone should go back in to retrieve her discarded clothing, but he decided to leave it. The most important thing right now was to get her home.

"Well, that settles it," Sokka remarked randomly as they made their way back to the house. "Katara is never allowed to drink cactus juice."

--

Author's Note: It's just occurred to me that several of my recent stories have been about sex (I'm still working on a Wedding Night story). I must have it on the brain. Please don't be offended if I haven't used your suggestion yet. I already had quite a lot in mind when I began this collection, so I just kind of go with whatever's at the forefront of my thoughts.

Review responses:

intricate designs: I was more trying to capture how others saw him, but thank you!

joehalo15: Hey, thank you! Zuko is such a complex character that he's fun to write about. I will look into that show and let you know. I've been trying to find lyrics for a couple of Grand Hotel songs I want to use, but I can't find them anywhere. I have the CD, but it didn't come with a lyric sheet, so it leads me to wonder if the writers don't want people to use them.

Aangs fangirl1214: I know you weren't actually reviewing the last chapter yet, but I'll answer because I like you and have hardly any reviews lately. I didn't think of the Suki one as being particularly detailed, but I'm glad you did. 20 is nothing! If you had a crush on, say, Orlando Bloom, that would be a more impressive age difference (I think he's about my age).:)

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart: Yeah, I don't really understand the lack of Sokka/Suki fiction in general. Thanks for correcting me; I was going from memory and would have got it right before using it. "For Good" is probably my favorite song from that show, and I would like to find a story to fit it.