_____________Burn all the bridges behind when going into vacation_________________

The morning came unexpected, like death. It even disguised itself as death, frowning wickedly, covering the nonexistent sun. Kanda frowned. His body complained about the mediocre size of the sofa. He could feel the soreness of his lower back sending painful electric impulses into his drowsy brain. Plus, he couldn't feel his left leg. It had to be somewhere. Tch. He turned face up, breathing in the morning air. From a closed window. Crap. It was too cold in here. He sat up on the bed, ughing and trying to get the hellishly long hair out of the face. Tch. He needed to turn the heater on. Damn. The only heater he had was the fireplace. How could he be so stupid, buying a house without a central heating system?

The sofa exhaled, letting the man go. The window glass reflected a tall, willowy figure with dark features. It would have reflected more if the figure didn't approached it, looking down on the world. Tch. Snow. He threw a glance at the table. The little cactus, prematurely bald, stared boldly back. Tch. It'd better live. He grunted getting up, trying to remember where the kitchen was. It was his third winter here, by himself. Ah, wait. He brought the brat this time. So, his first time spending his one week of vacation with another human. How bothersome. He'd need to bring another towel. He shuddered, looking regretfully at the blanket that crawled under the sofa. Damn cloth.

The kitchen was cold. It was clean and crispy, like a freshly cut cucumber. Kanda glanced at the clock, making sure he wasn't killing his habits. Oh, five to five. Some progress. He was getting soft lately. With the brat around he had no time to practice. Well, that should change now. He yawned, instinctively trying to cover the open mouth. Then the hand stopped midway. The hell! Nobody could see him now! He yawned heartily, feeling two wet drops at the corners of his eyes. Good. He hasn't done this in a long time. The kettle hummed, creating a homey atmosphere, ants crawling on Kanda's legs. He sat on a chair, trying to remember what he needed to do. Right. Shower.

___

"Kanda-san?" Allen slowly opened his eyes, lethargically stumbling out of bed. He could still feel the soft numbness of his dreams in the head, making him drowsy and stupid. He opened his mouth, feeling a foul miasma. Ugh. He had to brush his teeth. Fast. Why did those tooth pastes yell they protected the breath 24 hours around? It was a dirty lie. Yeah. Extortion. He indolently paced toward the door, hitting his toes in the process. What the … Ow. He jumped around, holding his leg. That woke him up.

He heard the kettle whistle. Ah. Tea with bergamot. He could sense the refreshing smell in the air. He closed his eyes, imagining a white kitchen where Kanda's hair stuck out at odd angles, black and pine smelling. He imagined a small teapot with a Japanese design, filled with a greenish-gray crumbling weed. Bergamot and green tea. That's what Kanda drinks. And strawberry milk for him, with the most colorful straw. Where did Kanda get them, anyway? And what was this room? It didn't look like the apartment. It had only a bed in it. The walls were bare. And here was a withered plant in a corner. Ah, that's right, he came in Kanda's forest house, or something like that.

"Cold…" Allen shivered, searching for a bathroom. He jumped from one leg on the other, clenching his arms and hitting his teeth together. Was there no heating? Ah, right, Kanda said something about that. He'd have to install the heatin—

"Brat, get up! It's five thirty already! You'll grow moss on your head if you sleep any longer!" Kanda's voice was cold and low and it etched his mind like the taste of the watermelon. He could hear it from the second floor. The stairs were high and he was standing on the very top of them. Allen imagined --as he did it all the time-- getting down, then tangling in his own pajamas and falling into those corners, hitting his face. He shuddered, gripping the balustrade tighter. Kanda's voice was now threatening him. A few minutes later he was sitting on that tall chair, oddly resembling the one at their house. Their house. Their house. He paused, looking profoundly at the small porcelain cup in his hand.

"Oi, brat, why aren't you eating?" Kanda was sitting in front of him, hair on his shoulders, lips thin like two knife blades. His eyes had dark circles around them, making him look like a student in the morning of grand exam. Those little details made Kanda familiar, recognizable, and somehow…symbolic to what Allen thought a proper adult was. Yup: severe, no nonsense, mature—

"If you don't get out of this house NOW, I will HANG you by your damn legs and BEAT your sorry ASS with a steel pipe!" Huh? What was he—

Red hair. One green eye. That lopsided bright smile. Allen let the straw leave his mouth, and jumped on the floor. Lavi was here. He was standing at the door, with a big packet in his arms and a huge suitcase that revealed his poorly packed underwear, letting one corner outside. It was green and had red hearts on it.

"Lavi-san!" Allen felt a giddy sensation in his stomach. This man was Kanda's best friend, he was the only one whose existence Kanda acknowledged. He did acknowledge it indeed. Kanda was in front of him, yelling. Lavi slowly wiped the flying saliva off of his face. When did he enter? Wait, what was he doing here?! The fire head grinned at the boy, scratching the back of his head.

"Yah, I couldn't find this place, ya know! Allen chan~, here's fer ya!" He threw him the packet, making the boy fall on his behind. Kanda frowned lifting a finger and pointing it at the packet.

"If that is porn, I will perso—"

"Yuu-chaaaan! Don' be so revolting!" He leaned on the man, trying to pat his head. Kanda murderously lifted a sleeper, ready to kill a human sized cockroach. Allen expectantly stared at Kanda, as if asking permission to open the box. Kanda was concentrated on Lavi now. He was gripping the yellow sleeper as if that thing could magically dispose of the nuisance. Lavi smiled and turned to Allen, completely ignoring the fearsome sleeper. Kanda narrowed his vision field. He had questions, dammit, and he wanted responses. Now!

"What are YOU doing HERE?" Lavi didn't even move. He was bent to the boy's ear, trying to explain something…suspicious. Then he smirked, throwing a glance at Kanda. The man smacked the grinning one with the slipper. He could feel his perfect day dying with the arrival of this…this…walking bubonic plague!

"Ow, Yuu-chan, it hurts ya know!" Lavi stuck his tongue out. Kanda gritted his teeth.

"I believe I told you once. DON'T CALL—" Lavi raised his palm is a very pacifistic way, nodding understandingly. His eye was closed, an unusual seriousness plastered across his features. "I know, I know. I won't call ya Yuu-ch—" Kanda grabbed him by the collar, snarling at his face. Lavi nervously giggled. Kanda hit his teeth together, just like a pissed off bulldog.

"How did you get here, Lavi-san?" Lavi pointed at the door and stuck his tongue out making Kanda loose his cool. He was such a kid.

"Allen-chan, " Lavi groaned trying to un-grip his undignified body from Kanda's blood thirsty claws, "Ya should go and see what I brought ya; me and Yuu-cha—OW! We'll come later!" He ducked, avoiding a flying chair. "Ya'll see sumthin' cool, I promise!" Allen eagerly nodded, and grabbing the blanket jumped up the stairs, two steps at once.

_______________

"So." A heavy black packet was alluringly lying on the table. Kanda glanced at the brownish paper, scrutinizing it. Lavi watched him grimly. His lips still twitched up, making the usual grin become a washed out parody of happiness.

"So." He sighed heavily, irritating the brunet with his reiteration. He sat on the margin of the table, crossed his arms and threw an expectant glance at Kanda.

"Ain't ya gonna open it?" Kanda shifted his attention for a fraction of a second. Then he huphned and started to rip the coarse paper. And he stopped, twitching his fingers away from the paper.

"You read it, right?" Lavi chuckled, smiling with one corner.

"Yeah, right. Ya'd kill tha poo' ol' me if I did it. An' besides—" Kanda interrupted him impatiently with a movement of the head, spreading the hair across his face. Tch. Damn bangs.

"You read it. Now, tell me the situation in less than thirty words. It's bothersome to read that shit." Lavi raised his brows, amused— no, intrigued by the man's behavior.

"Ya mean, like, ya wanna 'ear it from me?" Kanda didn't answer, choosing to throw a few logs from the corner into the fire. It was gradually getting warmer.

"Well, let's see… I talked to Johnny." He nodded affirmatively, approving his own actions. Then he started twirling a red lock of hair.

"Allen chan was adopted by Mana when he was, like, six. They lived in London, ya know. That's in Britain, man. I guess that's why his accen—"

"Screw your commentaries!" Kanda snarled, hitting the table with a fist. His knuckles were white. Lavi sighed tiredly.

"'K, 'k. He lived in Engalnd, like, 'till he turned ten. It seems that that Mana guy taught him quite a bit. He pushed everything he knew about the code into the kid, ya know." He rolled his head, clicking his tongue accusatively. Kanda frowned and sat darkly on the sofa. He did now about that already.

"And then," Lavi dryly coughed, attracting Kanda's attention, "and then 'e gave the kid to Cross." Kanda frowned painfully, biting his thumb. They had a contract, no?

"Gave?" Lavi nodded for the tenth time this day. Somewhere, on the second floor, he could hear a yell of excitement and Scooby-Doo intro music.

"Gave. Ya see, Yuu," he softly murmured, "sometimes powerful gangs do this kind of crap. They find a 'capable' person, train him without telling why or for who he will do shit." He sighed, letting his head touch the chest. "They were in this together, from the start." Lavi left the table, joining Kanda on the sofa. They could hear Scooby Doo running on the second floor. The brunet jerked his head up, pushing Lavi into speaking. Again.

"Right, right. I looked around to find sumthing… som' info on Allen-chan's parents. And ya see…" Lavi stopped, his eyes falling on the cactus. Forgetting what he was doing, the man got up, touching the pale and bald vegetal body.

"Yuu-chan, ya should take care of your plants!" Kanda grimly glared. That freaking idiot.

"What about his parents?" Lavi stared, not following. Then he gasped, finger in the air. The older man tcheed, massaging is temples.

"Yeah, right. The parents. Yeah. Just as you told me he told ya. A freakin' car accident. Yup. Except that they wer' in different cities. I know!" He held a finger up, a tired amazement on his face. " How can a car hit TWO related people in different cities, in the same night?!" Kanda's eyes narrowed at the allusion.

"Are you implying that it wasn't an accident?" Lavi's face darkened.

"I ain't implying nothing. It just…doesn't make sense, ya know. It's too…" He frowned searching for the word, "absurd…"

Both men silenced the moment, Lavi slowly caressing his own hair, and Kanda plainly staring at the floor. He did not even move a muscle. Lavi threw him a glance. Upstairs, he could hear Fred giving orders on which road the meddling kids should take. Kanda did not hear. He did not speak. He did not see. Lavi uncomfortably shifted, moving his long legs under the table.

"Yuu?" Kanda jolted, taken by surprise. He stared unblinkingly then sighed, rubbing his neck.

" And what happened then?" Lavi frowned. He intertwined his fingers, pulling his knees to the chest, despite his age. Kanda drew a hand through his liberated hair.

"It just gets worse. I jus' don' get how the kid is still alive." Kanda nodded, agreeing with him. He had dark circles under his eyes, just like the time he was a student, and pulled all-nighters with him.

"The kid started workin' in a whore house two days after Cross took 'im in. 'e washed the sheets an' the underwear. Dirty job, man, that's one dirty job." Lavi eyed his feet. He moved the big toe, trying to make a hole in the sock. "Then… He assisted Cross, fer 'bout two years. I found sum records in the police files, ya know." He frowned, displeased to reveal something like this to Kanda.

"Stealin', gamblin', beggin', all nasty stuff like this…" Kanda got up, apparently finding the fire suddenly very appealing. "Yuu, maybe ya don' wanna hear 'bout this?" Lavi softly said. Kanda shrugged. He didn't care. He didn't even give a damn about this.

"Continue." Lavi sighed, seriously considering to tell something soothing, or something that would lighten Kanda's mood. Nothing came to mind. He was going to be blunt.

"Then… then police arrested Cross." Kanda abruptly turned to Lavi, wide-eyed. He even threw away the log he was going to put in the flames.

"They caught him? For what?" He sharply asked, almost nervously crossing his arms. Lavi let his face fall.

"He was arrested for placing a bet on a person. But Allen-chan denied, and the bastard got out. Simple as that." He clicked his fingers demonstrating the easiness with which everything happened.

"Denied what? What kind of bet?" Lavi cringed.

"Yuu-chan—" he was whining now, twisting his body in a strange way—"I really don' wanna talk 'bou—" Kanda glared at him with a growing irritation.

"Lavi." The younger man stared with a strange look in his eyes.

"Yuu, this ain't pretty. Don' blame me after ya kill someone." He stared, then frowned demanding a promise of anti-violence. Kanda sneered un-pacifistically.

"One booze-sucker challenged his manhood. That Cross guy's hair is longer than yours." Kanda frowned. He did not like being compared with a sick bastard. Lavi looked away.

"Well…As I told ya, he challenged his manhood." Lavi scratched his head, not knowing how to narrate further events. "Well, he… just proved it. On Allen. That his thing's working. He was too drunk. Everyone was. They called the police after—" Kanda let out a strange guttural noise, like the low rasp of a mad dog. Then he suddenly clenched his fist, slamming it into the stone frame of the fireplace. He could mentally see his knuckles, minutes ago white and smooth, now slowly covering with small, stinging bruises. He hit his fist again, somehow feeling pleasure in this pain. Lavi fell silent a long time ago, averting his eyes. He did regret telling this. He did. Scooby-Doo's laughter creepily hit the walls, creating a strange, hollow echo.

He knew Kanda from his college days. He remembered this long haired youth, glaring at the girls, slender, tall. The guys were envious of his looks, his style, even his major. He was going to be a surgeon, or so he said. Always cold, always aloof, he never let anyone penetrate that transparent shell of his. The only thing that changed was the length of his hair and his occupation. He was a lawyer now, and his hair got too long to be just a 'style' thing.

Lavi smiled softly, remembering Kanda's helplessness in college. The guys used to hide his shoes and underwear, to piss him off. And he got infuriated so many times. He never expected people to be so petty. He would swear and kick the walls, and yell at random people; but that attracted them to him, and he was even more miserable. Kanda had something about him, something cold and starling, but so alluring in his negative…ness.

"Lavi." The named man snapped from his thoughts and stared expectantly at Kanda, his mouth open and hanging. "Do you know where Cross is?" Lavi jumped up, shocked. He didn't like where this was going.

"Yuu, yu'rre not gonna—" Kanda turned to him. Lavi froze. His face was illuminated by the red fire, giving him a strange glint in his eyes. His hair was a mess, falling in his eyes, sharpening the oval of his face. The guy looked simply frightening. When he slightly opened his lips to speak, Lavi almost cringed, expecting him to drip poison or at least show some fangs.

"I need to find him—no, I must find him." He pressed the word as if he wanted to make sure everyone understood what he meant. Lavi watched him with a dark fascination.

"Ya know, Yuu, I think I know why I like you so much." Kanda sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"Please, don't go there again. I already told you. I made it clear years ago!" Lavi smiled, closing his eyes and making the sofa his bed.

"No, I know, Yuu. Ya'r very determined. Ya inspire easily other people. Ya give some kind of impression of power, of calmness, that makes others feel safe and…" He stopped, looking at Kanda. The man tiredly eyed him back. It was morning but he felt worn out and hollow. Yeah, he was getting soft.

"I can see why Allen-chan trusts ya." He smiled again, but not beaming out light and happiness and laughter; he smiled with one corner of his mouth, a smile that looked more like a jerk of sudden pain. Kanda looked at the ceiling, as if he could see the brat playing or reading or spelling, and half smiled, no, he curled up the corners of his mouth. It was always like that. He did it every time Lavi mentioned that kid. Sometimes it was irritating and sometimes… well, he had to live with it. He got up, still staring at Kanda.

"Yuu, can ya let me stay here for a few days?" He lowered his gaze, looking at Kanda's feet. They were big and bare, his toes long and white. He would be so beautiful if he were a woman, no, he was just … beautiful. As a man, as a person. Not handsome, not pretty, just beautiful. A beauty outside of male-female norms. The feet shifted, feeling antsy prickles on the knees.

"Why do you want to stay here? Don't you have work?" Kanda's voice was irritated, as if the man was facing another ridiculously stupid task. Lavi chuckled. Yuu was pretending to be cold. And he could do that well. He pulled this on all the girls that were courting him. They called him 'cold', 'bastard' and –here he could not retain a raffle of laughter- they called him 'dummy'. Kanda. Dummy.

"What the hell are you grinning at?" Dummy. Hehe! Lavi almost snorted. Crap, he had to stop before Kanda took him seriously.

"Anyway, I think I have a spare bed. You can stay here as long as you want. Just-" he paused, turning away to put a log on the fire, "—just pick up after yourself. I don't like messy people." He sure didn't. In college he was the only one who insisted washing the floor every day. Lavi jumped up, trying to look and feel appreciative. The man said something like 'Whatever," and pointed at the kitchen. Lavi almost squealed. He knew it. Kanda wasn't a coldblooded bastard. He was just a… He paused, hardly able to contain the burst of laughter. Dummy. Hehe! Those girls sure were wacked.

"Lavi-san!" The man almost fell on the floor, gripping his heart.

" What the hell are ya doing here scaring the shit outta me? I could die, and ya'd be alone, alone without yer sexy, sexy teacher!" Allen stared, lost in his logic. He put a finger on his lower lip. That was a very dangerous habit. Lavi sighted.

"Lavi-san, thank you for the stuff you brought! Those yellow books are so easy to read! And I could solve that physics problem by myself!" His eyes glinted with a raw energy. He proudly extended his hands, holding a yellow book. "Physics for Dummies." Lavi chuckled.

"What 'bout the other books an' dvds? 'ave ya looked at them?" Allen nodded, eagerly explaining.

"I watched that Scooby-Doo thing. I can't understand how Velma can carry all of them at the same time and run so fast." He pouted, impressed by his own stupidity. Lavi raised one brow.

"Looks like you have a mystery on your hands!" Allen stared up frowning. He heard the phrase somewhere. Ah. Freddy, the yellow-haired guy from Scooby-Doo. He smiled appreciatively. This man was so easy to talk to. He could tell him all his problems and not worry that he will be ridiculed or mocked.

"Well, we have an entire day out. What do ya wanna do?" Allen threw a glance at the window.

"I have never been in a forest before. Can we go outside?" The man shrugged. He paced away, looking down the stairs. Kanda was sitting on the sofa, reading the documents from the black packet. Lavi frowned. He didn't want to read it before. Why now? And he told him everything that was written there. Why bother to read? Did he not trust him?

The sun snuck inside, pouring its sick light on the seated man. Lavi watched him with regret. Allen was somewhere in his room, dressing for the outside weather. Lavi quietly sat on the highest step, looking down at the brunet. Kanda appeared to be so…fragile from up here. So helpless. Lavi put his head on his knees. That man was more helpless than he even realized. And now, he took a kid in. Another helpless kid.

"Lavi-san, are you Ok? You're pale! Do you feel sick?" Lavi shrugged, feeling a small hand on his shoulder.

"No, I don' feel sick." And he didn't lie. He didn't feel sick.

He just didn't feel anything.

_____________________________

I want to thank Chimera-Aly for becoming my Beta reader. I am so surprised she could catch the nuances and details and point it out. Thank you, Chimera-Aly! You did a fine job! ALso she gave me ideas for two short stories. I think I will post them at the end of next week. I have to prepare for the exams, and maintain my 4.0 GPA. It's tiresome, but I have a strange masochistical peasure in doing that.

Thank you everyone who reads and reviews and gives me Ideas! You guys are the best!!!!!!