Ch 19

Allen stared at the egg. It was big and white and boiled, put into the special cup. The egg stared back. The boy was small and white and ominous, dressed in a gray sweater too big for him. Allen licked his lips gluttonously, anticipating the slightly salty bits of white flesh on his tongue. The egg licked his lips nervously; it was going to be eaten. The pink, fragile tea cup stared at the whole scene very indifferently. Why bother?

Allen raised his arm holding a spoon. The egg cringed and pulled its top further in the cup. It didn't want to be eaten! It was a pacifist! Why the cruel and suggestive lip licking?! Please! The boy pouted, scowling. He raised the teaspoon even higher, ready to hit the Humpty-Dumpty wannabe. The egg cringed, ready to yell. It didn't want to get ea-

"Brat! Eat already! Why, did you find something in the food?" Kanda approached the table and unceremoniously bit the top of the egg. Allen watched him attentively as if Kanda just swallowed a live chick.

"See? It's good! Nothing's wrong with it!" Allen got the egg back and started digging in it, dirtying his chin and cheeks in the hot, yellow liquid. Kanda turned away, putting on the apron. He didn't have a dish-washer here. And Lavi was still upstairs so he had to wash the dishes himself. That bastard; he probably was watching porn until five in the morning. How tasteless.

The water was hot and bubbly. It hit the bottom of the sink scalding the grease and the fine bits of food. Tch. Now he was getting wet. He stared at the dishes in the sink and frowned. He was sure there were more of them, not just this sorry pile.

"Brat, give me all the dirty dishes on the table!" Allen jumped off the high chairs, his mouth still full with food. He started picking up the dirty dishes, dirtying himself in ketchup. That brat, so obedient. And dirty. Tch.

"Come here, kid." Allen glanced up and swallowed the chow. He extended his arms, smiling. The used plates were now under the jet of torrid water. And the kid's face was there too.

"Ka—ghl—da! Let me-ghth…GO!!" Kanda mercilessly scrubbed his face. The boy was writhing and squirming desperately in the adult's grip. He was kicking the air without results. The boy could feel Kanda's rough fingers on his cheeks rubbing the food off. And the water was hitting him directly in his left eye, leaving him half blind.

"There you go, brat." The boy plopped on the floor. His face was wet, red, and furious. He was spitting the remains of the soap Kanda used to wash his face.

"I can wash MYSELF!! You…Why did you do that?!" He spat again. Kanda raised his brows.

"I hate dirty people. You're not an exception. And don't spit on the floor, or you'll clean it yourself." And he turned away, leaving the boy curse inwardly. Stupid kid. People wash themselves before sitting down to eat. He turned the water off, shaking his hands. Where the hell did he put the towel? Maybe on the chair—

Lavi was standing in the doorway, slightly leaning on it. Tch. The brat was here too. Allen was watching the redhead with a presumably indifferent air, yet Kanda could feel his nervousness and uneasiness. He could see the brat grinning in a painfully false way, squinting and jerking his lips into a smile. He watched Lavi with a false attentiveness.

"Good morning, Lavi," then he turned away from him looking at Kanda now, leaning forward. He tilted his head to one side, like a bird.

"Kanda san, I finished eating. Can I go upstairs and play?" Kanda glanced at Lavi. The man slowly sat down on the high chair, the one Allen just jumped of a few minutes ago. He was slowly pouring some coffee, his back arched and tensed. He had dark circles under his eyes and he clearly didn't shave. Did he have to wash him too?

"Kanda-san, can I?" Kanda looked at the kid who was jerking under his nose.

"No way, brat." Lavi tensed and chocked on some coffee. Allen stood still eyeing the man with his lips tightly shut. Ignoring both of them Kanda put his coat on.

"You two freeloaders will stay here and prepare the table for the Christmas thing. I was cooking all this time, so don't bitch about it." Lavi looked at him horrified. Allen groaned.

"But I can't cook! I can only warm up water for ramen!"Lavi was yelling like a prisoner put on a death row. Kanda sneered.

"Then now's your perfect chance to learn." He left them gasping and groaning. Hell yeah. If they wanted to hate each other… too bad. He didn't like silent fights in his house. It was OK if they were physical. At least they wouldn't accumulate stress. He chuckled. The nearest mall was twenty miles away. That'll give them some time to burn the turkey.

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Allen pouted, hitting the corner of the table. He didn't want to be here with Lavi. That man was a fake. He just pretended to be his friend to…use him? No, Lavi didn't use him. Then why would he pretend? To do… what? He had no idea. He eyed the man as hostilely as he could. He narrowed his eyes, trying to look resentful. He pursed his lips snobbishly, playing the role of victim. Lavi ignored his bitter gawking and just left the kitchen, going upstairs. Allen smiled triumphantly. He just exorcised the red demon out of his life (kitchen).

He looked around proudly, savoring the moment of his victory when a thought invaded him mind like a virus. Kanda said they had to prepare the table. That meant him and Lavi. Both of them. Allen clutched his own head, squeezing it will all his might. No way. He had to get Lavi down. And it was three million times harder to do that than before because he has just won an important battle. And now he had to go to Lavi, bow his head and –rising the white flag— beg him to get down and cook.

Was there anything worse than this horrid humiliation? He poked his lip, searching for an answer. His eyes fell on the frozen turkey and its pink and raw skin made him shudder. He would never choose to be born as a turkey. That was even worse than cooking with Lavi. Then he darkened, frowning. There was definitely something much worse. Yup. He nodded, folding his hands in the lap. Kanda's anger is much worse than anything he could think of. That man will probably yell, and scream, and threaten to castrate him.

Allen looked at the stairs. Those things rose high and ominous like the Tower of Babel. Yet every journey starts with a single step, even the journey to your own humiliation and death! And the future passed in front of his eyes like a horror film. He prepared to climb it, lifting one foot.

First step. Lavi will just laugh in his face. He will do that stylishly, using madman trademark laughter. He will even put his hands on the hips, implying authority. Allen was sure Lavi would use a shiny pitchfork to show off his power.

Second step. And then Kanda will come. Allen was almost crying in pity towards his (imaginary) suffering. He will glare at him in a godlike anger and gut him like a fish. And Lavi will be there too, witnessing the horrible, horrible deed. Yup, he will just laugh when Kanda will terminate the life of the small, cute, petite boy.

Third step. Allen was almost sobbing reaching this stair. His imagination was so bright and well developed that Disney movies paled next to it. Lavi will just cackle joyously seeing his small, pale cadaver thrown in the dumpster, like a holy sock. Or holly sock. Whichever one means a sock with holes. He wasn't good with spelling. His locks will be wet and dirty, and he will look at the (freaked out) nearby passer with pleading eyes, hoping that he/she will release his suffering!

Fourth step. Then Lavi will take Kanda by the arm and run with him into the sunset, ignoring Allen's bitter weeping. They will run toward the ocean, where they will find an especially tall pointy rock (cliff) in which the waves hit like a battering ram. And they will stare at the setting sun, shouting out youthful phrases.

Fifth step. God, how long are these stairs? Allen stopped on the fifth step. He really didn't want to go any farther. He was too tired of fantasizing. And if he asked Lavi to go down, the man would just laugh at him. And Allen didn't like to be ridiculed or made fun of. And Lavi was the type to do that. He was calling him "Moyashi" sometimes, wasn't he? And he was calling him "Allen-chan" too.

Allen sat on the eighth step. He started washing Lavi's bones, searching for flaws and weaknesses. The only flaws he found were mediocre. How was being loud and lively a flaw? Or being smart and cool? And… What the heck was he doing? He sighed. His opinion didn't matter here. Lavi was important to Kanda, even though the man treated him like a cholera infested rat. Lavi was Kanda's friend. Like a good friend he wanted to protect Kanda from a suspicious kid with a dark and dirty past. What's not to understand?

He got up weakly, stumbling on the last three steps. The door to Lavi's room was right in front of his nose. And Allen had to enter. He had to, or he would find himself in the dumpster. He unenthusiastically lifted his hand, reaching for the wooden handle. Did he have to do this? Well, he didn't climb the ten steps just for the sake of it. He did preview his nearby future though. The prospect of being smothered by Kanda wasn't pleasing. He pulled a few long breaths. He will bust inside and MAKE Lavi go with him!

Ready!!!!

Set!!!!

G-go…!

"Lavi?" He cracked the door just enough to let a molecule pass through it. Nothing. No reaction. Zero. Encouraged by the lack of activity he pocked his head through the crack of the door. "Lavi, can I come in?" He could see the man on the bed, staring at the TV. Allen blushed. Moaning, skin, maids, and leather. That was definitely porn. He gulped and peeked again. Lavi sat up and extended his hand. With a soft beep the TV died.

"What ?" His voice was tired. Allen cheered silently. At least Lavi wasn't throwing grenades at him. That was reassuring. He could go inside without getting hurt. And Allen squeezed his body through the open crack. Lavi turned his face at the entering boy, and that was much worse than a grenade. In fact that was more like a land mine. The air suddenly seemed to be as heavy as a hammer on a toe. Allen's skin covered itself in goose bumps. Lavi eyed him coldly, with pronounced indifference. That was worse than any kind of anger.

"If you came to get me to cook, then you're clearly at loss." He was speaking with that cold tone of his Allen heard last night. The boy suddenly felt unsafe. Lavi closed his eyes and demonstratively lay on the bed, face down. He was pointing out that he was asleep and that Allen was clearly a nuisance.

"Um…Lavi?" The man didn't move. Allen paced toward the bed. He had no idea what to say. The silence was pressing down on him like a lid. He had to say something.

"Lavi, umm… could you come down and help me cook?"Gh, not that! Lavi just has said that he wouldn't come down! Now what? The boy glanced at his toes asking them for some tips. No response, just cuticles.

"I am not…tall enough." He suddenly blurted out. And that little phrase changed everything. Allen suddenly heard a puff of laughter strangled by the pillow. Lavi's back was shaking with laughter. The boy smiled sheepishly, clearly embarrassed. He didn't expect such a reaction. Lavi rolled on his back, face up cringing with the sunny outburst. He covered his eyes with one palm; the other one was helping him to sit up.

"Ya ar' one funny kid, ya know that?" Allen smiled relieved. The old Lavi was back. There won't be problems anymore. At least he will try not to make new problems or interfere somehow. He liked Lavi as he was now, sunny, bright, risible. He had to make sure Lavi didn't become the cold, hateful person from yesterday. Even if this laughter was a fake.

"Let's go down, Moyashi-chan." Lavi grabbed his neck in a headlock, ruffling his hair. He smelled like tangerines. And his hands were big and warm, just like Kanda's. But not as white. They were tanned, smelling of Brazil, or Italy, or Greece. This man was a walking geography. Allen closed his eyes, enjoying the warm embrace. Lavi hesitantly stopped ruffling his hair. He still was holding him so close the white hair tickled his face.

" 'Bout yesterday night…" Allen tensed. He gripped Lavi's arm.

"Lavi, let's not talk about that." Lavi shook his head negatively. His arms flexed, hugging the boy from behind. Allen felt the man's chin on the top of his head. A smothered gurgling sound traveled through Lavi's throat and came out as sound.

"I can see why Yuu is attached so much to ya." His grip tightened. Allen relaxed in the hug. "I can see why he wants a new life." Allen wanted to ask what kind of life Kanda led before, but held his curiosity in place. He wasn't going to crush that fragile flow of words.

"I can' really tell ya about 'is past, so don' even ask." Allen slowly nodded, careful not to drop Lavi's chin from the crest of his head.

"I won't ask," the boy said softly and felt Lavi smile. He smiled too, accompanying the slow, warm feeling in his chest. And when silence fell between them Allen wanted to just stay in that orange embrace and forget his worries and fears. He felt the man shudder as if he was suddenly hit by a cold breeze. Allen shifted and let himself fall even deeper in those arms, offering Lavi the heat of his own body.

"There are moments when ya wanna hide, jus' bury yourself in some stinkin' hole and sleep, sleep until you explode of so much sleep," Lavi suddenly said. His words were rushed and whispered, as if he was afraid that someone unwanted would hear him. And the boy listened, mentally recording every word and sound, careful not to forget anything.

"Ya just wanna sleep, but they don't letcha. No they don'; they just laugh and call ya a number. Tha's all ya are, a number. I was number fifty one." Allen blinked. He couldn't understand what the man was talking about. It was like an explosion of words and images he never heard before.

"If ya had seen what I had seen ya wouldn't trust people so easily." Allen felt the man shake. He suddenly saw himself as a person who protects, a powerful person who can easily defend this shaking man behind him.

"Yuu-chan is the only thing tha' makes my life worth livin'. An' yesterday…" He choked in a desperate laughter, "Yesterday I thought I lost him to ya, fer good." His grip became breaking. Allen felt the man's face buried in his hair. He could hear strange short sounds, as if the man exhaled the air in a fast rhythm. Sobs. Allen was lost at any reaction. He had never seen a man cry before. He had no idea what to do, but somehow he felt that he must let the man cry his eyes out, or it will be bad. Why bad, he had no idea. He just knew.

They stood so a long time until the light became dim and murky and it started snowing again. Allen stared at the window in a strange daze-like state, not realizing that Lavi fell asleep on him and was snoring softly in his ear. The boy didn't want to wake him up, to disturb that warm silence. Even when the man relaxed his torso's weight on the boy's small body, Allen just tilted backward, making him plop on the white sheets. He looked so peaceful and truthfully happy that Allen chuckled.

By the way, who was going to cook?

________

"Brat, what happened?!" Kanda was panting. He threw his shoes and coat on the floor and ran into the kitchen as fast as his legs let him. Allen was on the floor, completely white, coughing. A pack of flour lay open and empty. In a corner something black rested on the table, emanating a thick, black, smothering smoke. The water from sink was slowly slipping to the floor, mixing with the flour and becoming some new kind of dough.

Allen gulped. He bent down clasping his palms above his head.

"I'm really sorry Kanda san!!! I really am!!!" Kanda covered his nose. The stench was insufferable. It seemed that the brat didn't mind it. Well, duh! His pants and sleeves and face were dirty and sticky with dough. Plus, he was proudly standing in a puddle of water.

"What happened?! Where's Lavi? Why are you alone?" The man tripped and nearly fell over the boy, trying to reach for his shoulder. He disgustedly lifted his leg and watched coolly as the slime followed his movement, attached firmly to the bottom of the shoe.

"What is this…" Kanda didn't finish the question. He already guessed the answer. Allen looked away, pale because of the flour, or so it seemed.

"P-pudding. The bucket was too heavy." The man watched him with a long, long gaze and then just sighted. He was slowly driven in the corner by this insanity. He decided to meet everything coolly, like an experienced sea-wolf. AS IF!!!!!

"What the HELL is this?!" He extended an amazed finger, pointing at the ceiling. " Did something explode?"Allen looked up facing the remains of something formerly alive. It was plastered over the ceiling, black, burnt; it was the gate to Hell. The boy blushed madly and looked at his feet.

"The microwave…" he poked his fingers "well, it kind of…you know…" Kanda stared incredulously.

"What did you put inside?" The boy didn't respond. He was taking interview from his toes. The man glanced up again, trying to guess what kind of creature was spread so neatly over the ceiling.

"Is it the turkey?" Allen slowly nodded. Tch, this brat…

"Come on, let's clean."

Kanda unglued his left foot from the dough and turned the water off. Pointing at the door he made the boy grab a wiping cloth. In a few hours the kitchen looked a bit better. Kanda sat irritated on the chair. He felt dough in his hair, sauce on his butt, grease under his nails. He looked like a parrot in after a hurricane.

Allen wasn't looking good either. He resembled a suicidal Chihuahua with extremely misanthropic inclinations. He fell twice on his face, tangled in kitchen towels. He was forced to clean the sink which he clogged earlier –unintentionally, he insisted--- with a green bandana. Then he dropped the jar with sour pickles on his toe. Now he sat exhausted, sometimes shaking flour from his hair.

"What the hell happened, Yuu--chan?" Lavi gasped at the sight of his bellowed bandana laying lovely in the garbage.

"Sadists!! Animals!! How dare ya touch this baby?" Kanda shot him a murderous look.

"You cook today, rabbit. And don't you dare oppose my will, or you'll follow that moldy scarf of yours." To the general amazement Lavi smiled with relief.

"I'll cook the best meal ya had in weeks!!!!" And then disappeared in a swirl of herbs, kitchen utensils and a frying pan. Three hours later Kanda and Allen were sitting at the table, nervously gripping the forks.

"There ya go! The Maestro finished! Enjoy yer meal, plebeians, and remember the Great Man that offered it to yer!

There were three instant Ramen cups on the table, each exactly $.50.

Kanda grabbed the shovel.

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Agh!!! My Beta is taking a break, so if you find this chapter lame, horrible and cheap... Blame global warming! And! And I'm officially finished with the exams!!!! And! And I am happy 'cause I received the scholarship! yay for Spending money! (I'll buy a Katana...)