Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "I Know Where I've Been" from Hairspray, lyrics by Marc Shaiman (also wrote the music) and Scott Wittman.

Author's Note: This song was suggested nearly a year ago by Wishing Only Wounds The Heart, proving that I don't shelve ideas; it just takes me a while to get around to them sometimes. I wasn't originally going to do it right now, but this felt like a good time, with The Day of Black Sun finally premiering officially. Katara's thoughts on the night before the invasion.

I Know Where I've Been

There's a light in the darkness,
Though the night is as black as my skin.
There's a light, burning bright,
Showing me the way,
But I know where I've been.

Katara found it difficult to sleep the night before the eclipse. It was ironic, really; they'd all been trying for three days to get Aang to rest, and now here she was, sitting up with anticipation, trepidation, and a whole host of other things she wasn't in the mood to identify. Still, she'd had plenty of sleep at all hours during their stay on the island, so she wasn't too concerned.

Katara practiced bending the water, doing forms that were more beautiful than useful, but they were relaxing. She was actually glad that the moon wasn't full. Besides making her jumpier than she already was, every full moon now brought memories of the bloodbending she'd never intended to master. She shuddered involuntarily. It might make her more powerful, but the reminder wasn't worth it.

Katara turned her thoughts to the morning ahead. As Sokka and Aang had already said, it all came down to this. They'd been preparing for weeks, even months, if you counted the journey to the North Pole and back. She looked at Aang, finally sleeping peacefully on his hand-made bed. All of their hopes were pinned on him. The rest of them would have their part to play, but he was the beacon shining through the darkness. He always had been, even when he was lost. Gran-Gran's Avatar stories, and Katara's enchantment with them, was evidence of that.

There's a cry in the distance,
It's a voice that comes from deep within.
There's a cry asking why.
I hope the answer's up ahead,
'Cause I know where I've been.

Still, Katara had to admit that there was something inside of her, too, something that had probably been there ever since they started this crazy journey, and maybe even before that. As conflicted as she felt about it, she recognized that a part of her enjoyed the heat and action of battle. It had been with a vengeance that she had once dueled Pakku for the right to train, and that fire had not died out.

In a way, she despised this in herself. She did not like to think that she had anything in common with fire. Besides, Aang was such a peacemaker, and to know that she had a fighting spirit at her core was somehow…disappointing. Maybe this was why she tried to hide it, especially from him. It only came out when she lost her temper.

Of course, there was the healer in her, too, the comforter and consoler. Katara felt divided, but, upon reflection, she thought that might be okay. It was very likely that she'd need both sides of her bending (and herself) when the dawn finally came. If she could do good, maybe her nature didn't matter so much. She thought that Gran-Gran had once said that your choices define you, not your abilities. She hoped that was true. Not all of her choices had been the best, but she believed they'd been more good than bad.

There's a road we've been travelin',
Lost so many on the way.
But the riches will be plenty,
Worth the price we had to pay.

To avoid the discomfort of further self-examination, Katara tried to look instead at the positive aspects that tomorrow might bring. For example, she would get to see a number of people she'd met during their travels. She was able to distract herself for some time by wondering how many of the individuals her father would be able to find.

It would be nice to see Haru and his father again, along with any other earthbenders they might bring with them. Katara found it hard to believe that it had been more than six months since she'd incited a prisoner revolt with them. There were also those strange waterbenders from the swamp and the Earth Rumble competitors from Toph's town. Maybe some more remaining members of Jet's old gang would join.

That thought, naturally enough, led Katara to remember those people who hadn't made it, or whose fate was uncertain, like Jet. Ba Sing Se was too dangerous to enter now, so there was no chance of recovering Smellerbee and Longshot if they were still there. There was also the question of what had happened to the Kyoshi Warriors. At least three of them must have been defeated by Azula, but were they killed, taken prisoner, or wandering around in the wilderness somewhere?

There's a dream in the future;
There's a struggle we have yet to win,
And there's pride in my heart,
'Cause I know where I'm going,
And I know where I've been.

Every train of thought Katara followed seemed to become depressing somewhere along the route. She tried to turn those losses into determination, however. If they could win this war now, it would be a way of making up for the deaths of so many across the generations, of proving that their sacrifices had been for a reason.

Katara's history seemed to spread out before her, as clear and wide as the ocean at her feet. She felt like every moment in her life, even those that had not seemed to contain any particular meaning at the time, had been leading her to this battle. Perhaps it was a similar understanding that had led to Aang's agitation earlier, just as it was preventing her from sleeping now.

Sokka had been right, despite his poor timing and delivery. They had better win this tomorrow. There would never be a better opportunity to catch the Fire Nation at their weakest. Katara faced into the wind, as though in defiance of all forces that might try to counter her, whether from human or other sources. As she gazed around at her companions and thought of those who had yet to join them, she was sure they could win.

There's a road we must travel,
There's a promise we must make.
'Cause the riches will be plenty
Worth the risk and chances that we take.

Despite her optimism, Katara discovered that her mind was nonetheless coming up with possible strategies in case the invasion failed. After all, she had to be realistic. Anything could happen. The eclipse would only last eight minutes, so it wasn't impossible to imagine a scenario in which Aang could not reach the Fire Lord before it ended. If that happened, he would have no choice but to retreat, since he needed to learn firebending before he could face an Ozai with bending capabilities.

Maybe some of Sokka's pessimism had rubbed off on her, or maybe the balance had shifted since her brother had decided to have a positive attitude. He seemed to have gone back to form recently, but Katara wasn't quite ready to play his opposite just yet. She'd been through too much in the last few weeks.

If they didn't succeed tomorrow, there would be time for other options. There were still a couple of months before the comet would arrive. Aang could yet learn firebending, although she didn't know how or from whom, and return to the Fire Nation at his full potential. It would mean that their journey wasn't quite over yet. Glancing over at the Avatar once more, a rebellious part of Katara thought that this wouldn't be entirely a bad thing.

There's a dream in the future;
There's a struggle we have yet to win.
Use that pride in our hearts
To lift us up to tomorrow.

'Cause just to sit still would be a sin.

As the first light of dawn crept into the sky, Katara gave up any hope of sleep. At this point, it would only make her more groggy, and she needed her wits about her today. However, she did sit down and at least try to relax her body some, leaning against Aang's "bed." She wished she dared to curl up beside him, but she didn't. She could have used the comfort of his nearness, but she didn't want to deal with what Sokka and Toph might say if they found her there. Besides, knowing how tired he was, she hated to take the risk of waking him. Instead, she simply watched the horizon for the first sign of sails.

It was time for a reckoning, and she could only hope their side would come out ahead.

--

Member of the Boomeraang Squad: charleegirl, Jesus.Lives, Liselle129, Strix Moonwing, Avatarwolf, MormonMaiden, libowiekitty, Snows of Yester-Year, La Vixen de Amor, chocolatecoveredbananacheese, Aangy, and honorary member SnakeEyes16

Author's Note: Another reference to Dumbledore from The Chamber of Secrets. I'm not sure how I feel about this one, so I'll leave it to you all.

Review responses:

airnaruto45: They're going on my list.

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart: Yes, Wicked songs do seem to be popular lately. I just finished reading the book, and I have to tell you, it's hard to see how scriptwriter got the musical out of it, especially the second half. Don't get me wrong, it's a great book, just very, very different.

MyrmidonGuy: There you are at last! I'd been missing you for quite a while, and I saw recently that you were reviewing some other stories, so I hoped you'd pop up again. Welcome back!

Gelphaba-Inamorata: Glad you liked it. Incidentally, have you read the book version of Wicked? I suppose there's some more evidence for Gelphie in there, at least early on. After that, they don't speak to each other for 20 years.

jliljj: I guess you could. How does the timing work out?

SnakeEyes16: It really depends upon how much Zuko is really leaving behind. He might just want to leave it all and not think about the conflict. The timing isn't really that important to me, anyway.

frizzyhairedloon: I'm glad I could help. It's getting harder to come up with good Soko ideas because we haven't seen Song for such a long time. I don't want to get too repetitive, but if something comes to mind, I'll write it.

intricate designs: Thanks, me too!