Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "Diva's Lament" from Spamalot, music and lyrics by Eric Idle and John Du Prez.

Author's Note: Does anyone else think it's weird that Ty Lee has only been in one episode this season? I was actually going to do another Ty Lee songfic, but I saw Spamalot a month or so ago, and it suddenly occurred to me that this song would be perfect to describe her situation right now. Oh, and I've passed the 200 review mark with this collection, so thank you, everyone!

Diva's Lament

Whatever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start.
Now we're halfway through Act Two,
And I've had nothing yet to do.

Ty Lee sat curled up on a threadbare, brown sofa in a room with peeling, green walls. Of all colors, why green? If she'd wanted to sit staring at green all day, she could have stayed in Ba Sing Se. It wasn't even a nice green, but a pale, sickly shade. This place needed some serious redecorating.

She understood that this was an emergency bunker, but that didn't seem to be a valid excuse for being so unbelievably drab. Ty Lee sighed, wondering what Azula's point had been in bringing her here if she were just going to forget her existence the moment she set foot inside the palace. She probably wouldn't even have remembered to invite Ty Lee to join them in the underground hideout if the entire city hadn't been evacuated.

Certainly, there had been some exciting times: disabling a group of earthbenders, flirting with that cute guy even as she fought him, and sneaking into Ba Sing Se in disguise (even if she did have to wear heavy makeup and set aside her favorite pink clothing). Ever since they'd arrived at the Fire Nation, though, she'd felt bored and useless.

I've been offstage for far too long,
It's ages since I had a song.
This is one unhappy diva.
The producers have deceived her!
There is nothing I can sing from my heart.
Whatever happened to my part?

The boredom began to transform into anger. Why had Azula pulled Ty Lee away from the circus she loved? She'd applied to Ty Lee's patriotism, sense of duty, even to their old friendship (if you could call it that). In the end, Azula had endangered Ty Lee's life in order to convince her to come along.

At the moment, Ty Lee could not understand why the princess had expended so much energy. Azula could at least have released her after she'd gained the services of the Dai Li and conquered the Earth Kingdom capital. Ty Lee was certainly not needed here, where things were secure and her six sisters too close for comfort.

Even now, there might be a battle raging above, and she was forbidden to participate. The eclipse had no effect on her abilities, so why did she need to remain cooped up, surrounded by this drab décor? Ty Lee did not pretend to have any understanding of strategy, but it hardly seemed necessary for her to hide away with all of the firebenders.

I am sick of my career
Always starting second gear,
Up to here with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammys, no Rewards,
I've no Tony Awards,
I'm constantly replaced with Britney Spears!

Now that she thought about it, Ty Lee wasn't even sure how she'd been invited to go on vacation with Zuko, Azula, and Mai. She supposed she ought to be grateful for that, but it was hardly compensation for what she'd given up and what she presently had to endure.

Everyone else had seemed to get what they wanted. Azula got to come back home in glory, and she had her duties as the princess. Mai got Zuko. Zuko got Mai and a hero's welcome after three years of exile. One day's worth of attention from boys and an evening spent demolishing some guy's house just did not feel like an adequate reward for Ty Lee. She didn't think it was wrong to want some sort of recognition for her part in the course of events.

Absently picking at the loose threads on the cushion upon which she sat, Ty Lee wondered if it was too late to switch sides. Even if the Avatar was gone, he still had friends out there. Maybe they would appreciate a girl with her talent and charm.

Whatever happened to my show?
I was a hit, now I don't know.
I'm with a bunch of British knights
Prancing 'round in woolly tights.

In the circus, Ty Lee had been a star, widely adored and admired. She wished she could go back to that life, which she'd never really wanted to leave in the first place.

Zuko burst in on her solitude without warning. His hair was unbound, and he looked a little like a caged or cornered animal. In short, something like Ty Lee felt.

"Do you know where Mai is?" he asked, and the urgency in his tone was contagious. Ty Lee felt her heart pound faster, and she sat up straight.

"No," she replied. "Why? Has something happened?"

"Other than the eclipse and the invasion? No, but it's about to." He paced back and forth, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. Ty Lee noticed that he also had his two broadswords, which she didn't think he had carried since returning home. She was suddenly struck with a revelation. She jumped up and placed herself in front of him, bringing him up short.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" she demanded. Zuko stared at her for a long moment before half turning away.

I might as well go to the pub.
They've been out searching for a shrub,
Out shopping for a bush,
Well, they can kiss my tush!
It seems to me they've really lost the plot.

"Just tell Mai that--" he began, but Ty Lee interrupted.

"Take me with you." The plea was quiet but firm, and Zuko whirled on her in surprise.

"You don't know what you're asking," he informed her heavily.

"Yes, I do. You're going out to join them. The Avatar's friends. The rest of the world. I want to go." To Ty Lee's surprise, the prince actually emitted a sharp bark of laughter.

"You're close," he confessed. "I'm going to join the Avatar himself." Ty Lee's eyes widened in amazement.

"But I thought--"

"He's not dead," Zuko cut her off. "I don't have time to explain. Besides, I have to face my father before I leave, and I don't think you want to be there for that."

Ty Lee quailed automatically. She had a hard enough time facing Azula, and the Firelord was completely out of the question, especially when Zuko was going into his presence armed during an eclipse. Her mouth worked, but nothing came out.

Whatever happened to my--
I'll call my agent, dammit!
Whatever happened to my--
Not yours, not yours

But my part?

"I didn't think so." Zuko appeared so sure of himself that Ty Lee wished she could prove him wrong, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. "I need you to talk to Mai, explain that I had to follow my destiny. I don't know if I'll ever be able to come back."

Ty Lee was not, perhaps, the brightest flame in the lantern, but she thought she understood what Zuko was not saying. If he came back, it would be to supplant his father on the throne after helping the Avatar to depose him – or worse.

"It's over, then?" she asked, wanting to know exactly what to tell her old friend. Zuko looked like he was facing the same problem, and when he finally spoke, he didn't answer the question.

"Don't tell any of this to Azula." As he moved to the exit, he added, half to himself, "She'll find out soon enough, anyway." With that, he was gone, and Ty Lee threw herself back onto the sofa in a huff. Once again, she was caught in the middle of two impossible choices with no clear way out.

Ty Lee resolved that, once she was freed from this volcanic prison, she would find some way to revise her role. This one just wasn't working for her.

--

Member of the Boomeraang Squad: charleegirl, Jesus.Lives, Liselle129, Strix Moonwing, Avatarwolf, MormonMaiden, libowiekitty, Snows of Yester-Year, La Vixen de Amor, chocolatecoveredbananacheese, Aangy, and honorary member SnakeEyes16

Author's Note: Ty Lee's surroundings were suggested to me by my husband and are supposed to allude to a "green room" at a community theatre. I'm sorry it's not much of an ending, but it was the best I could come up with that went with calling her agent.

Review responses:

airnaruto45: That is a good song, and it would be fun to see how I could use it.

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart: Yeah, I had that Kataang scene written for literally weeks, planning to use it as a flashback. I've only read the two Gregory Maguire books, so I can't really make a sweeping judgment.

Justcallmewolfy: I'm open to suggestions. That would make for a great scene, but I don't think I have a song on hand right now that would fit.

jliljj: Well, I took a few weeks off for the holidays, but I'm back and still trying to maintain the quality. I really try not to rush through things just to get them posted, but some of these oneshots practically write themselves. Not this one, unfortunately.

SnakeEyes16: Wouldn't it be great to have a series of flashbacks or something where Aang reflects on everything he's learned and experienced? So much of my story was internal, though, that I'm not sure how it would play on-screen.

Aangs fangirl1214: I don't know about unsaid, but unfinished seems to bother him. Anyway, thanks, and I guess I had to follow up a serious chapter with a more humorous one.