Life of the Blitzed

a/n: WELL NOW. Thought I was dead, now, did you? I actually feel really bad about leaving people hanging after you were all so nice to me and actually reviewed. I've actually done a lot of work on this story as a whole though in the past month, and I have it completely mapped out! and I'll have you know... we're like 5% through the story so far, so if I stay on task, there's so much to come! Also random note: there are some random Al Bhed phrases that I don't translate sometimes... they're usually just swearing and are unnecessary to the story, but I know for myself I always pull up and Al Bhed translator because even tiny secrets bother me haha so don't be afraid to do the same. Also, I wrote the last third of this chapter like just now and I've read through it ONCE since I wrote it so apology in advance for any mistakes... I don't think this chapter is particularly well-written but if I don't submit something now, I never will, so HERE GOES!!

Chapter 9: Bitter Coffee and Bitterer Goodbyes

"Goodbye."

He spoke softly to her. His eyes shone through his sadness and his bittersweet smile; they had always astounded her with their brilliant blue, like the purest ocean twinkling in the moonlight. And yet he was more like the sunlight, both in appearance and demeanor. His carefree laugh and childlike optimism warmed her heart and lit her way, but now… now he said he had to set.

"Goodbye," he breathed, and passed her. He turned his back, walking out towards the edge, the end, the horizon.

'No!'

She ran after him and promised Yevon she'd do anything to make him stay just one moment more. 'Just let me feel him close to me one second more!'

He turned, surprised. Before he could even protest, his arms were extended to catch her. But they never did.

She was passing through him, passing over the ground and falling. He couldn't catch her. He couldn't touch her. The floor stole her embrace instead.

And she knew this was all a dream.

She stood, not bothering to brush the dirt from her skirt. Her heart was so broken that she couldn't even cry. They were frozen, unable to see each other and equally unable to do anything about it. Yuna breathed unsteadily in, praying that her words would reach him.

"I love you."

And she could feel him turn—feel the way he looked at her. She knew what he wanted to say to her, but he never was one for words. So, carefully, he came up behind her and placed his arms around her shoulders. If it had been any other person, it would have simply felt like air, but this was him, and Yuna could feel his rays. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, but… she could feel his heartbeat.

And then the moment was over, and he passed through her, like how the sun overpowers the moon. He took something with him, something that Yuna could never have back. The tightness in her chest felt like it was ripping her apart.

He stepped over the edge, and was gone. All he left behind him were the brilliant colors in the sky and a brightness that blinded the heartbroken girl. They could never be as brilliant or bright… never so much as Tidus.

Yuna awoke sobbing. It was the loud, messy sort of sobbing that caused snot to pour out of her nose. Unflattering. Her father was knocking on the door frantically, worried she had severed a limb or some other such body part.

"Uhu, uhu, I'm," gasp for breath, "I'm really, oh YevooooooonnnaaAAAAAAAAAAh" and she'd dissolve again, before finally catching the breath to below, "FINE! I'M FIIIIIIIIINE!!!!" She blew her nose on her pillowcase.

Lord Braska was hardly convinced, but at least he knew she was intact… in the physical sense. "Alright, honey, well as long as you're okay for school…"

'School!' No, she couldn't miss school—Tidus was at school! She threw herself out the door and into the bathroom, running the water and splashing it across her face. She had to stop crying, it was only a dream after all! 'But Tidus… he… he…' a bran-new batch of tears grew in Yuna's eyes and her sobbing began anew. 'NO! I have to stop thinking about that! Oh, now my face will be all blotchy and my eyes will be puffy for school…' She frantically fixed herself up as best she could before flying out the door, afraid to miss a moment.

Lord Braska was left to chew his ChocobO's cereal thoughtfully…

"Good morning, Wakka!!!"

A disgustedly tired Wakka lifted his head from his desk to see Miss Enthusiastic herself sitting beside him. "When did you get 'ere, ya?" he groaned, not at all amused. 'Amused' was an emotion that only kicked in after noon.

"Just now!" Yuna smiled brightly. "Greeeeeeeeeat," Wakka said in a deadpan. Then his eyes opened completely, Wakka-senses tingling. "Why are your eyes all puffy and red-like, ya? You ok?" Yuna's smile promptly fell off her face as she thrust a pair of bug-eyed sunglasses on her face. "Oh, yea, that's just… some thing that, er, got in my eye… SOAP! I got some soap in my eye. OH GEEZ CLASS IS ABOUT TO START I'LL GO BACK TO MY DESK!!!" Yuna was halfway across the room before she remembered what she had intended to ask Wakka. Embarrassed, she made a U-turn. Wakka was just sitting with his arms crossed at his desk, one eyebrow shot up into his blue headband.

"Um, so, about the Aurochs… I was wondering if maybe I could get a tryout? I mean, I'm sure you don't need anyone else, and I don't mean to be a bother, but-"

Wakka sighed as leaned back in his desk. "To tell ya the truut, no one really tried out. We jus' have such a bad reputation now, ya, that no one takes us seriously, ya know? I'll talk to the boys and we'll see you tomorrow at Spherepool B, ya?"

'Ack, I didn't mean to make him feel bad…' Yuna bit her lip. "Right! I'll be there!" Wakka just raised his hand halfway to his forehead in a half-assed goodbye.

After Al Bhed, Yuna half-ran, half-ran-super-ridiculously-fast to her next class—history. And it wasn't because she found the machina wars interesting, that's for sure.

"Hey, Tidus—!" She was calling as she crash-landed into the classroom… right into a very pissed off Lulu.

"Good morning," the black-clad upperclassman uttered monotonously. She was wearing some rather scary black boots, and Yuna was beginning to regret getting to class so soon. "And why. May I ask. Are you. So perky. This morning?" every syllable was punctuated in that venom-dripping, make-you-feel-like-garbage way that only Lulu could pull off.

"That's… urm… I was wondering… I wanted to tell… Tidus something."

Lulu raised a perfectly-penciled brow. "Well, now. And why is that?"

"…No reason." Yuna's face resembled one of those cherries that are obviously not naturally grown. Lulu sighed. "He's not here today. Bad luck, so sad, byebye." She turned and stomped towards her desk. The previously vibrant color drained from Yuna's face.

"…What? Why?!"

"He's on an airship to Zanarkand. I was wondering when he was going to take off… it's unusual that he's been staying in Luca for so long. He usually buzzes around everywhere for Blitzball, but then again he doesn't need to try as hard anymore as he did when he was making his way to the top. I mean, as much as I hate to say it in front of him, he is the best… just please don't tell Chappu and Wakka that I said that." Her purple-painted lips turned up slightly at the mention of the red-headed brothers' named. Yuna too smiled, despite her distress.

"But um… you don't think he's taken off yet, right? I… wanted to tell him something…"

Lulu sighed and turned her back on Yuna. "I really don't know much more than I've said, but I'd guess you could catch him if you left right away… in theory, that is." She turned back to her cat-like, scary self. "But you're not thinking of cutting out on school to see a foolish boy who doesn't care about anyone but himself, are you?"

Yuna's eyes darted from side to side. "N-no, I-I just… I have to go to the bathroom."

"And I'm sure you'll be in there for a while, then?"

"M-maybe…"

Lulu sighed. "Yuna, you're a sweet girl. I don't like many people, but I like you. I don't want to let you find out these lessons on your own. But I can't stop you from the pain, I guess…" She looked straight at Yuna, "But before you get your heart broken, I just want to tell you this: people in life aren't like Tidus. He's a freak accident. He's one of those few people that are doomed from the start. Things are only going to get worse, and I want you to know that the rest of us aren't like him. There are so many guys that are kind and loving and all that. He isn't the be all and end all. I know you're probably really freaked out now, but… I know guys like him. Yevon, I know Tidus specifically. All I want to say is… be careful. And realize that we all like you just fine here, even though we may not be celebrities ourselves. But we're good people. Remember that."

With that, Lulu turned on her heel towards her desk, the warning bell sounding in the background. Yuna, faith shaken, tottered out of the room, off the campus, and to the docks…

There was a mob of flashing lights and women's laughing voices. A winded Yuna stumbled onto Dock 4, where several TV crews and photographers were surrounding a certain blonde-haired boy. She could hear his laugh rising about everything else. When she got closer, she noticed that the crowd was comprised mostly of girls, all waving paper and pens at him—sometimes even just pens and exposed cleavage. She couldn't catch more than a glimpse of him, but she could tell by the voices and laughter that he certainly wasn't scolding them for being such DIRTY WHORES.

Yuna tried to contain herself. It was like she was watching it all on a sphere screen… or in a dream. A dream… all at once Yuna's dream came rushing back, and her feelings for Tidus welled back up in her heart and in her eyes. He—the boy literally of her dreams—was yards away from her, about to leave for Yevon knows how long, and Yuna had something to tell him…

"Tidus! Um… Excuse me… Tidus!" Yuna tried as best as she could to get through the throngs, but to no avail. She was invisible to the others… and even to Tidus. He swooped his eyes towards her, but passed over and back to another set of women's part thrust at him to sign. He didn't see her.

And there were flashes and smiles and waves as Tidus receded onto the airship. Yuna was left on the shore, watching him from the distance, overpowered by the brilliance of the ocean…

Yuna stared down at her cup of black coffee, blurred by tears. She had sat down at the outdoor café table to get her wits together after watching Tidus slip away, and ordered the coffee when the waiter came by so they wouldn't ask her to leave. She didn't even like coffee, especially black, but it was the first thing she saw and she was still too emotionally distraught to think. Rubbing her eyes and gazing back down at the creamy white cup, she took a swig. And almost spit it back out. 'Disgusting!' But then she settled for smaller sips… she didn't really care about her taste buds anyways, she told herself.

It would only be a second more before she would feel inclined to spit it out again.

"Yuna! What are you doing here?" Yuna spun around to see none other than Baralai in his wife beater tank top, sweatband, and athletic shorts. His hair, though usually gelled, flopped over the black sweatband and into his eyes, and his tan skin glistened in the heat. He pulled out his headphones as he sat across from Yuna.

"I hope you don't mind…" he smiled apologetically, catching his breath. It was then that Yuna truly comprehended how short his shorts were and quickly looked up.

"Nice shorts."

Baralai looked confused, but then looked down and laughed. "Hah, I guess they are a little on the short side… but they're running shorts! I'm on the track team… hurtles and stuff. We all have to wear these."

"But… why are you running now?"

Baralai ran a hand through his silver hair. "I don't have class this period… well, I do, but I'm a TA, which means I don't actually do anything… but don't you have class? What's up? I didn't take you for a cutter…"

"Oh…" Yuna looked down and fidgeted. "I-I'm really not… I just… I don't know…"

"Feeling down?" Baralai looked in Yuna's eyes—a caring, empathetic look. Yuna couldn't help but tell him everything.

"I don't know, my friend Tidus left for Zanarkand and didn't tell me and then I went to say goodbye and he didn't even notice me."

Baralai's eyebrows arched. "Tidus, huh? Hmm, I don't know him personally, but he seems like the kind of guy that would do that. Don't feel too bad… even though this sounds kind of weird, it might be better for you to forget about guys like him. Make friends with people who actually care about you…" he paused for a moment, thinking, before looking back at Yuna. "Look, after school come hang out with Paine and Lu and I. We all like you… wait that sounded weird."

Yuna laughed for the first real time that day. "Thank you. I will!"

He smiled and looked away before cocking his head to the side. "You ready to come back to school now? I'll walk you back."

"Sure… thanks for all this."

He smiled warmly. "No problem…"

She had to run to make it to Offensive-Range on time, and when she burst through the door she was shocked to see Jecht, dribbling a blitzball against the wall. She thought he would be in Zanarkand with Tidus…

"Today we'll be practicing all period with a partner… don't look so scared now, kiddos, this is all working up to fighting yer first fiends. We'll be going on somethin' of a class fieldtrip in a week or so, so ya' wanna make sure y'all feel like yer good n' ready. Take turns attacking the targets and critique your partner on their technique—POSITIVE-like, don't be bitches and bastards, now!"

Jecht's class was always walking the "acceptablility" line.

Before Yuna could even turn her head to find Gippal, someone grabbed her arm and spun her around. Brother was stammering before her, looking intensly down at the ground.

"W-will oui… will youu bee my paaartnrr?" his pronunciation made Yuna smile a little—he was like a little kid just speaking his first words.

"Sure. I'm not very good though, so I apologize ahead of time."

A few yards away, she caught Gippal rolling his eyes.

He caught up with her as soon as class was over, Jecht rushing ahead of them in order to "get to the teacher's lounge first before all the beer was taken", so he said, though Yuna doubted any other teacher would drink during the school day. If Jecht weren't famous, things would be a LOT different…

"Well THAT was hard to watch…" Gippal said, smirking at Yuna.

Scoffing, she brushed him off, "I don't know what you are talking about, Gippal."

"You know when you're watching a movie sphere, and what they're doing on the screen is so embarrassing that it kind of hurts you a little bit? That's what it's like watching Brother try to talk to you like a normal human."

Her eyes widened. "So what if Spiran's not his first language… it's natural for him to want to get to know his cousin."

"Not the way HE wants to get to know his cousin…"

"UGH Gippal I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that!"

"I just call 'um like I see 'um, doll." He looked smug.

Of course, that smug look slowly slid off his face as he took his place in front of the class, his eyes avoiding Rikku's desk. He shuffled his papers and started writing things on the board. It seemed like the whole class always held its breath to see what kind of mood Rikku was in…

On cue, the star of Machina Science Period 4 entered, glamorous as ever in her little pink baby doll dress, matching pink ribbon in her half-ponytailed hair. Whenever she entered, every hair was in place (backstage, she rushed to the bathroom before fourth period everyday to fix herself), and she looked as if she didn't care at all who was in the class, much less who was teaching it. Let's see who her victim today would be… oh Yevon, not him.

"Claskoooooo!" The boy in question jumped a foot in the air and looked strait ahead like he was in front of a fireing squad. Rikku was everywhere at once; hugging him, stroaking his hair, laughing way too easily… Yuna had to roll her eyes. The act was so transparent. Even so, she could catch how Gippal's upper lip was twitching a tiny bit. But of course, everyone in the room knew the match had yet to be won.

"Is it just me, or is it a little hot in here?" Gippal asked the class, winking, as he began to losen his tie. The futzing-around on Rikku's side of the room stopped as her head snapped to the front of the room, her hands still all over the clueless but frightened Clasko. He pulled the knot of his tie down slowly before unbuttoning the top three buttons of his collared shirt (he had to dress nicely for work).

'Dryd meddma lraydan…'

Rikku yawned and stretched audibly, arching her back, before leaning over her desk, whisps of hair falling over her exposed cleavage. "Teacher," she whined, knowing the exact inflection to make half the boys in the class blush, "You're making me feel uncomfortable. I doubt the Superintendant would approve."

Without missing a beat, he shot back, "Oh, so you admit that I make you feel… uncomfortable?"

The heat of a thousand Bikanal suns burned in Rikku's green, swirly eyes. "Professor, I don't like what you're implying, and I'd like to remind you my Daddy is a part of the faculty."

"You mean Cid? Miss Rikku, Professor Cid agrees that you enjoy making a scene during class. In fact, he approved of my suggestion to remind you of the existence of detention. Wanna argue with me furthur?"

Rikku exuded something Yuna could only describe as "porcupine of death about to self destruct". Though Gippal did not betray his fear, Yuna guessed relief took him as the bell rang above them.

"…All I want to do is raise Chocobos…" Clasko whispered morosely as Rikku passed him a note as obviously as possible.

"What a complete telg!! That freaking yccruma… he's not allowed to do that to a student. It's completely unprofessional! If he were anyone but Gippal, by Daddy would be all up in that lawsuit!!" Rikku ranted on and on as the two girls trudged towards the cafeteria. All Yuna could think about, however, was how Lenne wasn't in class; 'Must be in Zanarkand too…' she thought. 'If only I had a pair of wings like Lenne's fame gives her—I could fly to Zanarkand, and above the rest of Tidus's fans.'

"Like, I know I'm loud in class, but I'm always like that, and REAL teachers would rather have you talk too much than not talk at all, you know? I mean he doesn't have to be a vnaygehk tool about it. I'M FRAGILE, DAMN IT!!" Kimahri stared at the chattering blonde beside Yuna as they moved down the food line. He refused to meet Yuna's pleeding glazes—he had silently decided to pretend he didn't know Yuna in order to avoid the deluge that would surely follow out of her friend's mouth. Kimahri wasn't ready to commit to knowing Rikku yet.

The girls sat at their usual table by this point, across from Brother, Buddy, and Shinra and between Elma and Clasko (Rikku made sure to sit next to Clasko, despite his squirming, in case any certain men looked over. Clasko sadly stared down as his plate as she sat.) Brother looked abnormally miserable as Buddy tapped an envelope on the top of the table absentmindedly. Noticing Yuna's questioning gaze, Buddy had an epiphany.

"Oh! This is for you… some kid asked me to give it to you," Buddy shrugged as he relinquished the envelope.

"Y puo!!" Brother hissed, to which Rikku just roller her eyes. "YES, genius, uhmo RYMV dra bubimydeuh ec puoc! Duh!!"

Yuna turned the envelope over in her hands, examining the neat, loopy script on the front reading, "Lady Yuna". "C'mon, open it! I've been dying to know what that is all about!" Elma urged. Yuna flashed a smile at her before hesitating one more moment to break the seal. As she slid out the carefully folded paper, the table went quiet. She read.

Dear Yuna,

I'm a really shy guy, so I've never really done this before, but I realize I have to say this now. You might be the most beautiful girl I've ever met, but that's not the reason I like you. You are so kind and caring, but you have this quiet sort of strength as well. Growing up where I have, I can tell you are going to be something amazing to this world, and I am happy to have just known you this little bit in my life. However, if you are willing, I'd like to get to know you a little more. Recently, I just can't get you out of my head, and even though I really am not worthy of you, I can't help but wonder if you at least feel a little bit of what I feel for you. I feel very foolish writing this, let alone sending it (we'll see if I actually have the courage), but I just want you to know that someone thinks the world of you.

Earnestly,

Your Secret Admirer

"Lemme see! Lemme see!!!" Rikku snatched the note as Yuna hid her face in her hands. The rest of the group may not have been as grabby as Rikku, but they all had the same sentiment. Once Rikku shrieked, poking Yuna and repeatedly asking "Who is it?! Who is it?!" Elma took the note herself, passing it around to the others, Clasko last as always. Buddy had to translate it to Brother, who looked encreasingly more upset. The clamor of the table was starting to draw attention.

"Shhh! We really shouldn't cause a scene… what if his feelings are hurt when he sees everyone reading it? He'll never come forward!" Yuna looked extremely worried, glancing around the room.

"Oh come on, you have to have SOME idea of who it is! These things don't just come out of nowhere!"

She had to admit, Yuna was rather curious herself. "Well, his speech is very formal from this letter… and he must go to our school if he handed it out at lunch." Rikku chewed her sandwhich thoughtfully. Suddenly Yuna gasped, realization hitting her. "Buddy! Who gave you the letter??"

"Hm? Oh, sorry, but I don't know his name—"

"DESCRIBE HIM!!!" Rikku demanded forcefully, so excited she was compelled to lean completely over the table with half her bite of sandwhich flying out her mouth.

"Rikku, bmayca, pa y MYTO, vun uhla!"

"SHUT UUUP, BROTHER, THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!" Though he didn't speak the language, Yuna got the feeling he understood.

"Let me remember…" Buddy pondered, relishing every second Rikku was stuck in suspended animation, too entranced to swallow her poor, poor lunch. "He was very polite… not that tall… and if I remember correctly, he had white hair."

Yuna froze. 'He… there's no way…'

Baralai was her secret admirer?!

As the students trickled into White Magic class, Yuna felt like there were flans in her stomach. Probably ice flans, sending a cold chill up her back.

How was she supposed to act when she saw him? Like everything was normal? Like she knew what was up? Should she ignore him? Should she pay him extra attention?

She sighed, drifting in her thoughts for a moment. Tidus was usually in this class… talking to him would probably have set her at ease. He could say one thing—make her laugh and forget everything stressful in her life. Of course, and create a storm of stress on his own.

But Tidus was just a distant dream—a stupid celebrity crush that she happened to go to school with. He might as well be in Zanarkand. And Baralai had been there for her… true, she didn't know him very well, but he was sweet and respectful and he actually saw Yuna—and apparently liked her. And Yuna knew they were more compatable; they both were involved in the Temple, both were calm and unassuming people, and they both actually lived in the same places—Luca and Bevelle. Plus, Yuna had to admit how attractive Baralai was. He wasn't the one someone would point out immediately as a hunk, but his face was beautiful. It took time to realize how perfect Baralai was, and yet he was just as worthy of affection as Tidus, and maybe even moreso!

'But, Tidus… if he were here, he would crack that smile of his as make everything else go away…'

With a stab of laughter, reality snapped back. Oh, yeah. He wouldn't be smiling at Yuna. He'd be smiling at those girls.

The laughing girl was a blonde with short hair and perfectly shaped pink lips. She wore a lowcut black lacey top with a lepord print pencil skirt, one hand on her hip and the other lugging an expensive brand-name leather purse. On her feet were high black heels, and a gold chain lay around her neck with a giant, bedazzled heart hanging from it, drawing even more attention to her cleavage. Her makeup was over the top, matching her converse, but matching best friend—Yuna's worst enemy.

Dona wore tight, plush sweatpants with "Sexy" printed on the butt. The light pink accented her darker skin, while on top she wore an extremely small white t-shirt. Her pierced belly button was clearly visible, and her lacy bra possibly even more so through the "shirt". Her hair was in a sloppy ponytail, giant sunglasses obscuring her cold eyes.

"My, my, my, what have we here?" Dona drawled. Yuna was surprised that Dona was not addressing her, instead looking over to find the terrorists standing over a mousy brown-haired girl. "You DO realize that you've helped yourself to my friend's seat, don't you?"

"And I also hope you realize that you really shouldn't raid your Poppy's closet without asking… there is no way those clothes were made for a girl." The blonde one jeered.

"You know, LeBlanc, maybe we should be more sensitive… sometimes, socially inept kids don't quite understand the higher concepts of 'not-looking-like-a-crazy-old-guado'."

"Excuse me, class…"

To Dona and LeBlanc's horror, Maestor Seymour entered, a [very] slight smile on his face, yet rage in his eyes. "Does something appear to be the problem?"

"Nothing, Maestor Seymour, sir, I was just confused, as this girl took my seat."

He raised a blue eyebrow. "You're high school students… figure it out." With a last glare from Dona, the girl went scurrying to the desk beside Yuna. Empathizing with the girl, Yuna leaned over towards her.

"Don't worry about them… they try to push everyone around. It's all just words though… you should never feel afraid of them!" She sounded much more confident than she felt. 'Let's see if I can follow my own advice…' Yuna inwardly glowered.

The girl's eyes were wide. "Thank you! I-I'm only a freshman, and you guys are all just so intimidating, you know? It's hard to keep your own… I'm Shelinda, what's your name?"

The older girl was slightly distracted, watching the door as she heard a familiar voice. "Um, I'm Yuna…"

And she was off. "THE Lady Yuna? Lord Braska's daughter? Oh wow this is great! It just so happens that I want to work at the temple when I grow up. I mean, most of the people in my family have, and I'm sure it won't be a problem to get a position, but if you could throw in a kind word for me that would be great! Lady Yuna as my first friend! Wow! I never thought—"

But Yuna's eyes were frozen on that brilliant white hair, that tan skin, that pearly smile as Baralai entered, Isaaru and Lulu flanking him. He caught her eye and smiled before turning to Isaaru, engaging him in conversation. Yuna quickly turned away, smiling at absolutely nothing to look encouraging to Shelinda—like she was listening. But inside, there were flans. Gooey, nasty flans sloshing around like they were on the S.S. Winno.

If Tidus were here, she would smile and forget all this…

a/n: Thank you SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME! I hope some of the original readers find their way back, because I have so much planned and I'm so excited! And I know everyone says this, but please review! If it weren't for reviews, there's no way I would have made it through the first chapter, and individual reviews have brought me back to this story when i've forgotten it so many times, so it really does make a difference. I'm also always open to suggestions... I can't promise anything will make it in, but if it fits I'd love to add in any ideas or constructive criticism! THANK YOU!!! Next time: we get to know the Paine and Lulu crew, and things are definately messier than they seem. Plus we get down to this secret admirer business!

-bucky