Being Alive

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "For Good" from Wicked, music and lyrics by Stephen Schwartz.

Author's Note: I believe this song was suggested a long time ago by Wishing Only Wounds The Heart (please correct me if I'm wrong). The original idea was to have it involve Mai and Ty Lee, probably because it's sung by two women in the musical, but when you take the lyrics out of context, it actually makes a pretty good Kataang piece.

For Good

I'm limited.
Just look at me – I'm limited.
And just look at you -
You can do all I couldn't do, Glinda.
So now it's up to you.
For both of us, now it's up to you.

The day was drawing near. No one spoke of it, but Katara could feel it, as surely as Zuko could feel the comet approaching. Summer was slipping away, and soon it would be Aang's last chance to fulfill his destiny.

Katara had no doubt that Aang could do this. It was sometimes dizzying when she allowed herself to think of what he was already capable of, and his firebending skills were increasing daily. Even without the Avatar State to fall back on, his abilities were formidable.

More than all of that, though, she believed in him. He had the right character and only needed the confidence and determination to do what needed to be done. He'd been gathering both of those during their travels, and he was nearly ready.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason,
Bringing something we must learn.

They hadn't been able to stay at the Western Air Temple indefinitely, of course. Just as Zuko and Combustion Man had found them, it was only a matter of time before others of the Fire Nation reasoned that the last airbender would seek refuge there. While Zuko seemed fairly sure that Azula would be content to wait until Aang came to her again, Ozai was another matter. He'd apparently been very angry about some of the things Zuko had told him before he left and might be avidly hunting them, although it was more likely that he'd send others to do his dirty work.

After freeing some poor, bedraggled people from a forbidding Fire Nation prison, their expanding group had hopped from island to island, preparing for the final approach to Aang's next confrontation. Despite her inherent distrust, Katara had to admit that there were some advantages to having a few new firebenders willing to fight with them. For one thing, it gave them additional offensive power, enabling them to fight fire with fire. For another, Aang and Zuko were able to share what they'd learned about the history of firebending.

And we are led to those who help us most to grow,
If we let them, and we help them in turn.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true,
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.

Katara found herself watching Aang ever more closely with each passing day. Although she wouldn't quite admit it to herself, she was worried that he would take it into his head to go off alone again. Katara remembered only too well all the times he had left her, willingly or unwillingly, starting with his surrender to Zuko at the South Pole and going through his recent journey to find the source of firebending. There was a certain symmetry there, she noticed with some surprise, as both incidents had involved Zuko.

In any case, it seemed that each time Aang left, the emptiness Katara felt from his absence grew bigger. He'd become such an integral part of who she was that she didn't want to be without him again, especially without the chance to say something in parting.

Acknowledged concern or not, she always made sure he didn't have either Appa or his glider if he went away from the others for a time. If Aang was bothered by or even noticed this extra attention, he gave no sign.

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun;
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood.

Finally, Katara could stand the waiting no longer and decided to take matters into her own hands. One evening, she managed to pull Aang away from the others for a private discussion. However, once she got there and he was looking at her expectantly, she found that she didn't know what to say.

"Aang…I just…I was wondering what your plan is this time." Awkward, but it was a start. Aang sighed.

"Somehow, I think just walking up to the front door isn't going to be the best option," he conceded.

"Not when they'll be expecting you," Katara agreed. She dug her toe into the thin layer of soil that covered the rocky ground. "I've been thinking maybe you could use some backup going in."

Silence. They both knew what she was offering, and it was a mark of how much influence Aang had had on Katara's life that she was volunteering to go into the very mouth of a fire-breathing dragon. She could hear Sokka's voice in her head now: "Shouldn't we be running away from the explosions?"

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.

"Actually, I was thinking the same thing," he said quietly. Then he turned away. "But how can I let you risk yourselves for me again?"

"Risking you means risking the world. A few more of us don't matter."

"That's not true! Of course you matter!" He whirled on her, eyes flashing defiantly. "This is my fight!"

"Look, Roku said you had to defeat the Firelord. He never said you had to do it alone."

That gave Aang pause as he frowned, obviously going back over his predecessor's words in detail. However, he still shook his head stubbornly when he'd finished his mental review.

"You're just playing with words, now," he accused. "It's too dangerous."

"Do you really think it's only going to be the Firelord?" Katara pressed. "He's bound to have guards, Azula, the other girls. Maybe the only way to be sure you'll be able to face him one-on-one is to have some of us along to keep any others busy."

It well may be that we will never meet again
In this lifetime,
So let me say before we part,
So much of me is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me,
Like a handprint on my heart.

Aang sat down cross-legged and put his head in his hands. Katara knelt down silently beside him.

"I don't know," he groaned. "I just can't figure out what to do. Azula always seems to be one or two steps ahead of us. How do we find a strategy she hasn't already planned for?"

"Don't you see?" Katara argued, sensing a weakness she could work her way into. "Azula will be expecting you to be all noble and show up alone. She'll probably even order the guards to let you through into whatever trap she might have set up. Having the rest of us along is our best chance of catching her off-guard."

"I think that's a decision for Sokka," Aang decided, tabling the dilemma. He then surprised Katara by taking both of her hands. She felt the calluses on his palms and fingers, strange on someone so young but doubtless formed by long hours of practicing airbending with his glider-staff. "Whatever happens, I want you to know that part of you will always be with me. So much of who I am now is from all of your encouragement and support. I – I want to thank you for that."

And now, whatever way our stories end,
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend.

Mystified, Katara realized that he was right. Even if they couldn't be physically together, they were joined in a way that ran deeper. She'd been silly not to realize that sooner.

"You're welcome," she murmured. "You've done the same for me. I'm so much more than I ever thought I could be because of you. No one's ever believed in me like you."

"I'm sure that's not true," he demurred, blushing.

"So do you believe that, even if we have to be apart for a while, we'll still be together?" Even as she said it, it felt right.

"Separation is an illusion," Aang agreed. "That's what the Guru told me."

"And the swamp." Katara was relieved to find that her fears of separation had been completely unnecessary. However, just a moment later, a new thought occurred that chased the relief right out of her.

"Even…even if you die?" she questioned him, feeling the tears burn in her eyes and constrict her throat. It was a possibility she didn't even want to acknowledge, yet she felt she had to know what he would say.

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea,
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood.

Aang looked down for a few heartbeats. When he returned his gaze to her, his eyes were also full of unshed tears, yet Katara sensed that it was more due to his reluctance to leave her than out of any fear of dying. When he spoke, his tone and words were those of a much older person.

"Death, too, is an illusion," he told her quietly. At that, Katara finally let herself truly cry.

"But it feels so real," she choked out. She had already watched him die once; could she bear it again? And if it had to happen, would it be better to be with him or to find his body when it was over? Aang reached up a hand to cup her cheek. She forced herself to meet his eyes.

"Katara, I love you," he said firmly, and the suddenness of the confession made her heart and breath both pause in the act of keeping her alive. "Even death can't change that. I'll be waiting for you in the Spirit World when it's your time."

The thought of living without him seemed almost impossible to conceive. He completed her. She didn't know who she was anymore if he wasn't there. At first, she thought she would soon follow him into the abyss, but she quickly realized that he wouldn't want her to do that.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you,
I have been changed for good.

"I love you, too," she said, the expression leaving her mouth more easily than she'd imagined. She tried to put her feelings into words, inadequate though they were. "I may not have known it, but I was only half alive before I met you. I don't want to go back to that. I'm not whole without you."

"I know exactly what you mean," he admitted. Then, he kissed her. Unlike the first time, which was somewhat rushed and almost too intentional, this was soft and slow. When he pulled back, his eyes contained both understanding and firm determination. "I didn't say you wouldn't be different, but you'll survive. You have to."

"How? Why?" The second of these questions seemed the most important to her.

"Because I need you."

"I don't understand," she said. "If you're gone, why would you need me?"

"If I don't make it, the next Avatar will be born to the Water Tribe," he explained patiently. "She'll need you to train her until she's ready to know who she is."

"She?"

"I have a feeling."

In spite of herself, Katara smiled, recovering her composure. This girl would have to be born at the North Pole, and she could appreciate what that meant.

"That's going to challenge some assumptions," she remarked, recalling how difficult it had been for her to learn traditionally male waterbending techniques.

And just to clear the air, I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blame me for.
But then, I guess we know
There's blame to share.
And none of it seems to matter anymore.

"It's been more than a thousand years since a female waterbender was born to be the Avatar," Aang agreed. "You've opened a path for her, but she needs to be kept secret as long as possible, and who else would teach her?" Katara nodded her acceptance of the task he'd set her. She didn't ask how she would know the new Avatar; she had a feeling she would just know. Then, before she could think too much about it, she hugged him, and he responded by pulling her close. This was awkward in a sitting position, so she curled up her legs until she was virtually in his lap, head resting on his shoulder. He stroked her hair, then her back, and a distant part of her wondered when their roles in this relationship had reversed.

"I'm so sorry," Aang whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry I failed so many times. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you I loved you. I'm sorry that we might have so little time together like this."

"I haven't been perfect, either," Katara sighed, too drained to argue any of his points. "It doesn't really matter now." Aang murmured his agreement, and because neither of them needed any companionship beyond what they already had, they held onto each other as though, by doing so, they could prevent tomorrow from coming.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better.
And because I knew you…
I have been changed for good.

Author's Note: Wow, that song has a lot of lyrics! This was quite a bit of work, so I hope it turned out well. I had a hard time ending it, and I had to struggle at times not to make it too similar to other things I've written. Sometimes, you get the feeling that there's just no new ground to cover in some areas.

Review responses:

Wishing Only Wounds The Heart: Well, Rent isn't really my kind of music, and a friend of mine whose tastes run similar to mine said she didn't enjoy it at all. Plus, I don't really like depressing shows. I even prefer my operas to be comic.

airnaruto45: What? It's a great song!

frizzyhairedloon: Actually, I've found that it's a lot of fun to play with the minor characters because there's so much room to move. Since there are many aspects of their lives we're not seeing, I'm free to make stuff up.

Fusion Blaster: They don't have very many episodes left to wrap everything up, so I hope they don't leave too many loose ends.

Aangs fangirl1214: Yeah, Grease is fun, even though the ending makes no sense. I was in Into the Woods once, but we didn't have a Company. Only the people who had lines or songs were in it. I played Cinderella's Mother and the Giant.

torikkusuta: I know; that last song has been recorded by so many people over the years that most people probably don't know it was written for a Broadway musical. Actually, someone requested "Bring Him Home" a really long time ago, but I haven't got around to writing it yet.