The Super Awesome Proposal

"Hey, Orland," Aria said.

He looked up at her, bored. He had been staring out the window only moments before, pondering all the things he saw. "Yes?"

"Where do you see our, you know, relationship going?"

"What are you talking about?" He said sharply.

"I mean, people are beginning to talk." She looked worried. "About us, you know. They don't think we're going anywhere. And I'm turning twenty-one soon and so are you…and a lot of girls get marr—"

"Don't say it."

"Married by this time. Not that I want to get married…now. It's just…"

"Since when did you care what people think? Aren't you happy?"

She sighed. His voice was sharp but she understood it had more to do with fear and uncertainty—two things Orland simply could not stand—than actual hatred. But still, this topic was something she had been pondering a long time, ever since she had first heard the whispers and rumors going around town. Something had kept her silent all this time, however, not voicing her fears to him, keeping it all inside, but she had to face the music sometime. It seemed almost as if he were content to this casual sort of non-relationship for the rest of his life.

"I am happy," she said.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Forget I said anything then. It doesn't matter."

And she said nothing more. But for the next month she would periodically bring the topic up again. Finally, tired of hinting and prodding, she said straightforwardly "Look, why won't you let us go any further? Would it really be that much different? I mean, we've been dating for how many years?"

"That's not a problem."

"Then what is?"

"Nothing is. There is no problem. Now can we stop talking about this?"

"I think something's wrong. Come on, you can tell me." She looked at him with those big brown eyes of hers and it took everything in his power to not give in and marry her on the spot. Frankly the effect she had on him frightened him.

"Because," he said.

"Because why?"

"Because-because you're a human. No matter what you do or who you are YOU'RE HUMAN."

Aria stood stiff, shocked to silence.

"And it's fine for you to be with other humans. Humans deserve one another." His gaze avoided her, as if he couldn't even stand to look her in the eye. "Our relationship is fine as it is, all right? I don't need to be getting too attached to you, because—" He made a face, not wanting to continue.

"Why? Why on earth would you not want to get 'too attached'? What does that mean anyway?"

"Because humans are fickle…they're there one moment, gone the next. It's no use. Our relationship is fine. But don't fool yourself into thinking it has a future."

"You really believe that, don't you?"

He didn't answer.

"Well, there's not much else to say, is there now? I'm too human and you're too elf so of course that means there can never be anything between us. Gods, you're such a fool, Orland."

"It's just how things have to be. The natural order."

"Huh? That's not natural. Love's natural. Building stupid barriers between you and your friends isn't. I have elf blood, too, or did you forget that?"

"Not enough."

"Oh, so we're going to quantify it now? How much blood exactly do I need before you'll accept me?" She sighed. "Let's not start a fight. You won't accept me for what and who I am so why bother? Have a nice day, Orland."

She knew very well he would spend the rest of the day alone amid books, parchment, words while every one else was far away outside enjoying themselves.

With one hurt look, she walked away.

He stood there, very alone, feeling as if someone had wrenched all the feeling out of him. He had done what needed to be done, said all that needed to be said; no more or less.

At least I'll be able to study now without distraction, he thought, but it felt bitter. From then all out, studying would be all he had.

But what difference would it make? She was fun and cheerful and sociable; she had so many friends she could barely remember all of their names. He knew she would move on, find someone else, someone better than him. She would be happier.

He ran upstairs to his room and sat at his desk where papers and several open books were strewn. Here he had all the time in the world to become the best, the greatest, the absolute pinnacle of what a person had any right to be.

Clearing all else from his mind, he studied feverishly, rapidly going page after page with focus and ferocity usually reserved for warriors.

Only when the light filtering through the window became dim did he stop.

In the little room, with all its silence, its dimness, its emptiness, all was ever more lonesome.

He had all the time in the world. And he was all alone.

And he didn't like either very much at all.

XXX

Aria came into the house, banging the door behind her and stomping towards the refrigerator.

Cecilia, sitting at the table, looked up immediately when she heard the door slam. It was her day off from work (she needed some time off, anyway, from cleaning up Max's dirty socks).

"Aria?" She said.

"We have any ice cream?"

"Why?"

"Because I just really need some."

"It's bad for your waist line," she joked.

"I just NEED ice cream."

"Why? Are you depressed?"

"No, I just need something to do other than murder."

"Uh oh." Cecilia went over to her daughter and rested a hand on her shoulder. "I know that look. Boy troubles."

"It's just…It's over, mama." Aria frowned. "I guess I'm just going to have to deal with it in my own way…"

"By loading up on calories?"

"No, that's just because I'm hungry." Aria removed a carton of ice cream from the fridge and ate it whole. "I'm going to deal with the boy problem like I deal with everything else."

"Honey, you know what I've told you about brute force."

Aria giggled. "But brute force is the most fun way to do anything!"

XXX

At exactly 4 o'clock pm on a Tuesday Kyle leveled up from overprotective dad to avenging father. The event was heralded by a series of earthquakes, the sky turning red and all the milk in Kardia curdling in the cartons.

Actually, that's a lie. But there was a lot of yelling and stomping.

"Knew that kid was no good," Kyle muttered, pulling Aaron along by the hand down the path leading into town. Aaron had been born exactly six years before. Aria had been ecstatic to have a little brother (finally!).

Being winter, there was a light brush of snow on the ground. It was just nippy enough that Cecilia had forced Aaron to wear enough coats that he could roll through the town.

"Dad! I can't walk!"

"It's your mother's fault. I have nothing to do with it."

Indeed, Aaron should have counted his blessings. At the very least he could talk. Kyle had just managed to convince Ceci not to mangle their son with scarves (very girly pink scarves, which had once been Aria's, and would have screwed Aaron's gender identity all to hell).

"Dad! I'm hungry."

"Silence, son. This is for your own good. Remember this when you have daughters of your own. Except DON'T HAVE THEM TOO SOON. There are too many pregnant teenagers around in this world…"

"How do you have babies?"

"What did your mother tell you?"

"That you grow them in the cabbage patch."

"Uh, yeah, we'll go with that."

After a few moments, Aaron said again, "Who are we going to kill today?"

"Your sister's no-good ex-boyfriend."

"I want a girlfriend."

"Son, don't you understand?"

Aaron nodded, hoping agreement would be enough to stop Kyle's ranting before it began. Even at his tender age, Aaron knew all-too-well his father's habit of going off into near-incomprehensible and unstoppable tangents that threatened to blow anyone who listened over. Aaron still remembered a rant his father had gone into over Aaron's "over-use of diapers".

"The day you get a girlfriend is the day you have to bury your mother. They thought I was bad…ha ha ha. Wait until you see your mother's earthquakes. Hell hath no fury… Besides, girls are horrible creatures. They come with—with suitors, otherwise known as rivals. Stay away from them."

"Dad?"

"You never know when you'll come across an announcement on the bulletin board challenging you to some dumb duel over something stupid because your rival is moronic and small and has something to prove and has a chip on his shoulder and is an idiotic pretty-boy half-elf whose after your wife…and the point, son, is that girls are evil. So, no, you can't have a girlfriend."

"Oh. Can I have a boyfriend?"

"What has your mother done to you? (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT)"

Finally, they came to the inn. "Egan," Kyle said. "Where's Orland?"

"He's out. What do you need to see him for?" Egan said, looking only slightly worried.

"Just about very general things," Kyle replied.

"I don't know where he is. That boy just waltzed out of here without saying anything to me."

"Boy just saved his own life…for now…" Kyle muttered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, DAD?"

"Nothing, son."

XXXX

Orland sat on a bench in the park, angsting like the depressed half-elf he was. He had been having trouble studying because he had this empty feeling in his stomach. He couldn't get his mind off of his break-up.

He sighed.

Cammy noticed him sitting there alone and felt sorry for him so she sat next to him.

"Where's Aria?" The only reason he ever bothered coming out into public and socializing was because of her, which was why it was so weird to see him without her.

"Isn't Roy waiting for you to crawl under some god-forsaken rock that you two call a 'love nest'?"

"I told him I'd be home later. But looks like you're all alone."

"I don't care."

"No?"

"I could care less if Aria decided to fall off the face of the world if that's what you're wondering. You can disappear now."

"Sorry, Orland, you're going to have to deal with real human contact for a few more minutes. So, what happened? Did Aria fall in love with someone capable of kindness and run off and get married?"

"No."

"What?"

"I broke up with her. Now go away."

"Why?"

"Because I did, all right? And that's the end of it. That's it. Now go away." He turned his face away, gritting his teeth, as talking about the "break-up" made him feel as if someone had punched him in the gut.

"What a surprise." She sighed. "You know, Orland, your basic problem is that you're scared of getting close to people. The moment you even sense someone might make you 'vulnerable' you freak out and close down. It's why it's impossible for you to have friends. How is it that Aria seemed to deal with it? I don't know. But she did. She brought out the best in you. Thanks for ruining that and leaving the rest of us with your annoying attitude problem. For everyone's sake, I hope you crawl on your hands and knees back to Aria."

Orland made a face.

"I'm serious. So what excuse did you come up with to run her off?"

"I just didn't feel like dating. That's all."

"Is that it? Well, prepared to be alone for the rest of your life." Cammy stood up.

She was about to leave when Orland said, his voice low, "…she wouldn't take me back, anyway…"

"Orland, we are talking about Aria. She has such a short attention span she can't hold a grudge for more than five minutes. All it takes is for you to get off your whiny half-elf butt and ask her."

"As if I would do that…" Orland said. In his mind, however, he was already envisioning himself going back and asking her.

"Yeah." Cammy looked at him with unaccustomed sympathy. "Look, if you'd just let people get near you, you'd be a lot happier. Now you think on that. I have to run. Roy's waiting." Indeed, she did run off in direction of her home, leaving Orland to contemplate what she had said.

He knew what he had to do so he stood up and made his way to Aria's house, hoping for the best.

As he knocked on the door, praying for his life, it opened.

It was Kyle.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

Kyle reached for the hammer of boy-smashing.

Orland prayed harder.

Until Ceci broke in and stopped the madness.

"Orland, what could you be doing here?" She said. She glared at Kyle in a way that made him immediately toss the hammer down.

"I'm here to see Aria."

"I'll send her outside…" She eyed Orland carefully. "I'll let you two settle your own affairs. And that means you too, Kyle."

"But Ceci!"

"No buts!"

She closed the door.

A few moments later the door opened, this time with Aria standing there.

"Oh. You. Hi," she said.

"Yeah…" He wasn't quite sure what to say. All he knew is that she was watching him expectantly, her lip slightly pursed.

"I'm sorry." He barely managed to get the words out.

"I'm sure you are," she said, not quite bitterly, but definitely unhappily.

"Look, I've been informed that I don't do well on my own. I sort of need you there to balance me out. I know I'm not the nicest person in the world."

He grabbed her arms and pulled her close enough that he could look into her eyes.

"But, Aria, I really do need you."

Suddenly Aria burst out laughing and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Orland, of course you need me. I'm so glad you realize that now."

At first he was shocked but then he returned the embrace. "I think I'll need you forever."

Aria blinked. "Well, yeah, you'll need me forever. I'm not leaving, am I?"

He broke the embrace, stepped back, and rubbed the back of his head. "That's not what I meant…I mean…uh. What the hell do I mean?"

"I don't know."

"I mean maybe we should—get married."

Aria was taken aback with such shock she nearly fell over. "But I thought you hated marriage?"

"Maybe it wouldn't be so horrible if it was to you."

"Really?"

"Why would I lie?"

What commenced was a lot of romantic face-sucking.

Or so you would think. If only little Aaron hadn't come running out the door, stuffed rabbit in hand, and stared at them.

"What, Aaron?" Aria said.

Orland just grimaced. His being anywhere near children made him break into a rash. Yes, it was an allergy; an allergy to children.

"Dad sent me," he said. "He wanted me to watch for any signs of hanky panky. Do you know what that is? Are you doing it now?"

"He sent you?" Aria said.

"He said my natural cuteness will protect me. And he said mama won't stop me if I go out here."

"Wanna know something cool, Aaron, that you can go tell daddy?"

"Wha?"

"I'm getting married!"

Aaron seemed unfazed. "What's that?"

"It's a sign of true love," Aria said, so excited she was practically jumping for joy. "Just go tell daddy."

"I already know." It was Kyle's voice, seemingly coming from above them. They all looked up to see Kyle leaning from the second story window. "You better be good to her, Orland, or PAIN AND MISERY WILL COMMENCE!"

"I'll help!" Aaron piped, not knowing what pain and misery meant but knowing if his father said it, it must be good.

"Kids…" Orland said.

"You're a good son," Kyle yelled down before he stuck his head back inside and screamed to Cecilia. "Ceci, your daughter's getting married!"

Almost immediately the door burst open and Ceci nearly tackled her daughter with a hug. "We'll have to start planning immediately! Julia and Rosalind and I can help with the dress! We'll have to bake a cake…a beautiful large cake! Oh my! This is so exciting! We'll invite everyone!"

"Errr…" Orland said, uncomfortable with all the attention his half-assed proposal was receiving.

During all this, Kyle had enough time to go outside with the rest of them.

"Jake is going to hate me for this," He said. "What type of karmic justice is this, I wonder? Well, Aria, looks like you're finally…marrying." Kyle frowned. "It's a lot of responsibility."

"I know, dad, but somehow I feel like I can handle it," she said, smiling. "Besides, I'm twenty-one. Everybody was starting to wonder why I wasn't married. I guess I proved those gossips wrong."

Cecilia was still caught up in the wedding-high. "Oh, Orland, do you have anyone to give you a tux?"

"No."

"Don't worry then, dear, I can find the perfect one for you! I'll get Yue to order it from the city…same for your dress, Aria!"

"Actually," Kyle said. "I think he should wear the incredibly stupid wedding outfit I had to wear to our wedding. You know the one with the embarrassing hat? Wouldn't that be perfect?"

Cecilia gave him a flat look. "No, he'll wear the best tux I can possibly find! Gordon only made you wear the hat because he wanted a reason to laugh at you."

"Hey, woman, it's tradition that the groom should get laughed at horribly! This is Kardia! Grooms are extraneous!"

"Great…" Orland moaned.

"You won't ruin this for me, Kyle," Cecilia said. "I've been waiting years for this. And you won't get anal and over-protective about it. Everything will be perfect. Now everyone go inside and get washed-up. Dinner is almost ready. I've probably already burnt it. And, Orland, you might as well stay for some dinner. You need to know what a proper family meal is like now that you're marrying my daughter!"

"Would you stop saying that as if it's a good thing?" Kyle said.

Cecilia shot him a look that made him immediately shut up.

"I might as well," Orland said with a shrug, but he stared uneasily at Kyle, who was glaring back at him.

Kyle seemed to mouth these words at him: hammer of boy-smiting.

But, anyway, they enjoyed a very pleasant dinner.

XXXX

Next chapter is guaranteed to have less dwama and more humor. What is the next chapter? It's the SUPER AWESOME WEDDING CHAPTER. It is so awesome I simply must abuse CAPS-LOCK.