"House," Wilson called down the hallway.
"Don't wanna hear it, I have a date with coma guy and General Hospital… and not Cuddy," he replied without even turning around.
"House" Wilson said louder and caught up with him.
"What? Are you on Cuddy patrol today? Her big boobs can cause a lack of oxygen in the brain, causing her victims to become one of her mindless minions. Don't worry I'm a doctor, I can help"
"Look" Wilson lowered his voice, "I need to talk to you. I keep having these dreams of having sex with Cameron."
"Sounds like a neurological problem, hit your head recently?"
Wilson rubbed his forehead.
"Is-is Chase dating her right now? It's too hard to keep up."
"What, you're not actually thinking of sleeping with her, are you?"
Wilson looked around and shifted his weight uncomfortably. House stared and started to laugh.
"Oh my god!" he almost shouted.
Wilson tried to keep him quiet but he continued to laugh louder and louder. Giving up, he threw his hands in the air and strode angrily over to the nurse's station, where Cameron was busy scribbling in a chart. He scooped her in his arms and gave her a long kiss. Cameron happily went along with it.
When the two emerged from their sloppy make out, they held each other by the waist. Ready to face the wrath of House, who looked slightly bored.
" Really kids," he said in tones of mock concern, "we're trying to keep our on call room clean."
"How did you know about that?" Cameron said startled.
"The whole ER heard! The walls in this place aren't exactly ten feet deep."
"No, the big question is how he knew about the first in time to steal my car, rent The Notebook, and get me drunk all in one night" Wilson said.
"I found your tie in his office. Wilson never goes anywhere without his tie, unless he's getting some. Now if you'll excuse me, General Hospital awaits."