"Well see here now...you can't bring your own booze into my saloon." Moriarty's voice was muffled by the door, but Nova recognised that he had raised his voice a little as he berated someone about to enter. Why did he care? They always bought something anyway, besides...with the lack of customers as of late they couldn't afford to be picky. Not that Nova complained, even with her recuperating from what Gob had called her 'spell' she was enjoying the free time.
Then she heard the familiar crash of breaking glass. "It's empty idiot." The voice was harsh and grating, almost like Gob's, or someone who had been choking on sand. A moment later the door swung open and a gaunt man strode in, letting the door close shut behind him while he quickly moved for the counter.
He wore a painted...and quite battered suit of black combat armour, his weapons looked worn...and so did he. A typical wastelander...maybe a little thinner, maybe a little more predatory... Still, he seemed...familiar. Especially the cloud of unfocused impatience that seemed to envelope him.
"John?" Gob's question made Nova connect the dots, her mind reeling. No...that was impossible.
"Yes." The man answered, dust exploding out of his armour as he dropped down unto the stool. He dropped the duffel bag, apparently having abandoned his backpack along his journey. "Your boss is probably being dragged over to Doc Church." Nova couldn't bring herself to smile at the thought, she was too busy observing the latest changes on their friend... "His head caught a flask to the head." John looked down at the counter, apparently not enjoying the fact he had put the saloon owner on his place despite his old hatred of the man.
He was gaunter, thinner, almost sickly so...as if some disease was eating him up from the inside. A long scar ran from his left temple up the middle of his forehead, jagged and still pink...some of the scab still remaining. The hands on the counter were equally scarred...and his right ear was now a little shorter then the left, a scab still covering the top. From the dirt encrusting his face the blue eyes shone through, the orbs almost glowing in the darkness of the saloon.
Nova shivered.
Had he always looked so scary? The man reminded her of a addict that had just spaced out, eyes already afire with the need for another fix. Yet he was still present, very much so...he seemed so tense that one would expect him to leap up at any moment. She felt her heart sink, the wasteland had gotten to him...and perhaps made him worse then anything it could to throw at him....
"Not to be insulting...but you look horrible." Gob echoed her thoughts, hands already moving to get the man a glass.
"Look who's talking." It wasn't an insult, a mere observation. The man hadn't even looked up from his counter saying it, yet Gob stopped mid-movement while Nova gasped in surprise. From anyone else one could expect such a thing...heck, worse...but this was John! Gob...them both...dropped their defences around him, knowing him for who he was.
Shaking his head the ghoul moved to get John's drink done, when he spoke it was with an added shudder to the raspy voice. "Are you okay? Did it go well?" Gob squinted over John's shoulder as he served the man, searching for a non-existent presence. "Hey, where's Charon?"
"Dead." John still didn't look up from his counter, a scab covered hand reaching out and grasping the offered glass. "Fool decided to catch a bullet with his face." He pulled his head back, a quick movement that sent Gob stumbling back despite being used to the drunks. Nova couldn't blame him...watching the changed John gasp as he placed the empty glass back on the counter. "But yes, it went well. I now know where my father is. And I will find him." The sheer need in the word hit Nova head on, she knew it had always been on the man's mind, but now it almost seemed to have gotten a life on its own...all sustaining the dirty thin man in front of her.
"I'm sorry." Nova said automatically, though the kid didn't seem to need comforting. He looked hard, uncaring, invincible... "What will you do when you find him?"
"Kill him." The man shrugged, the words cold. "Punch him...I don't rightly know." He made a small gesture, urging Gob to pour him another glass. "But I need to find him..." He still hadn't spared her even a look, apparently satisfied with staring at the old wood of the counter. Kill...his own father? "Did the radaway work?"
Finally, some compassion. Though it sounded more like idle curiosity...small talk that meant nothing. "Yes, thank you, I feel much better." Still, Nova's cheeks burnt, he had cared about her! That little thought had been enough to warm her since him leaving h...them. "Though you look a lot thinner...have you had enough to eat?"
A chuckle, dry, dead. "No, travelling light goes faster...it's worth a little hunger." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm not rightly hungry." He looked hungry...but Nova was unsure for what.
"Not doing drugs are you?" Nova grimaced, the mere thought of her hero doing drugs painful.
Her hero...the GNR was afire with tales of his exploits, of the many mutants he had slain, of how safe areas had gotten after his passing...if even half of it was true he had slain hundreds...if not more. Though the price seemed to have finally caught up with him...badly. "No, never, this is old fashioned fighting and famine." Another dry chuckle.
"You're pushing to hard." Gob tried to re-enter the conversation, placing a hand on John's wrist, the man didn't even seem to notice. "No need getting killed okay?" The ghoul managed a small laugh. "We need you...for bashing in Colin's head at times." Nova shared the nervous laugh, vainly hoping to cheer the man up.
"Would kill him if it wouldn't make me unwelcome in Megaton." John stated, face unchanging.
Blinking Nova realized he wasn't going to say anything more, his gaze lost in the glass. He begun to pull it towards himself...only to be stopped by Gob's firm grip, the ghoul rasping: "Listen kid, I don't think it might be safe for you to-"
Pushing his held arm up and round John came to grip Gob arm in turn... Slamming the limb into the counter with enough force to sent flakes and slime out of the ghoul John's other hand was suddenly pressing the nozzle of a heavy looking pistol into the hole where Gob's nose had once been. The ghoul's eyes were wide, mouth agape.
Nova's breath caught in her throat...she had barely seen that! And Gob was a strong man...what had happened out there!?
"I decide when I drink and when I don't." John was still not looking up from his drink, eyes unchanged. Dropping his grip on Gob's arm he holstered his pistol, his other hand instantly moving back to grasp the glass...before he gulped down the content in one swig.
Gob was still rubbing his arm, looking shocked as he stared at John, a thin sheet of rotten skin was still stuck to the counter, a little blood and water mixed into it. Nova had touched Gob before...he was dry to the touch...the blow must have been severe to get anything out of him. She couldn't stop herself from giving voice to her confusion: "John...we're your friends."
The man muttered something intangible, lost in thoughts.
"That really hurt!" Gob finally squealed, still grasping the arm. Nova had seen him make less of a fuss when Moriarty had hit him with a steel rod...he must be really shocked. "I...I think it's still leaking." Nova blinked...it really was! Though it was a mere trickle...how the hell had that happened!?
"Walk it off." John grumbled, idly playing with the glass before him. "Or better yet, stand in that puddle by the bomb, you'll be as good as new in a few minutes...you lucky bastard."
Gob...lucky? That was an insult...though John somehow managed not to make it sound like one.
Nova shook her head, pushing herself out of the corner she forced herself to act, knowing that Gob was actually about to say or do something stupid. The poor ghoul had gotten too used to acting freely around John...Nova saw the danger though. "Though he's very rude saying it like that...he's right Gob, go and take a bath by the bomb for a while, I can watch the saloon for a while."
The ghoul looked ready to argue, his undamaged hand clenching in surprising rage. He was really hurt...Nova could see his desire to strike John, to hurt the one who had made him open into something but his normal subservient manner...only to reward it with such...meanness. Poor man...Nova would have to comfort him...later. Now she forced herself to frown at the ghoul, getting her point across.
Of course she won out, it barely took moments for the sweet guy to collapse under her gaze, as always willing to do anything for her...even curbing his emotions and seal them away somewhere within his rotten chest. "Sure Nova, I'll...do that." He glanced at John, an odd look on his face. "Stay safe." It looked odd seeing Gob walking around the counter before closing time, he was still clutching his arm though...which was painfully skinless by now.
"Don't worry." Nova forced a smile, curbing Gob's obvious worry as the ghoul glanced back at them. With a final look at John's uncaring back the ghoul shrugged and closed the door behind himself, his steps heavy as he walked away.
"Now then..." Nova walked up to the corner stool and sat down, keeping the smile up while trying to catch John's gaze. "...what's up with you?"
The man didn't look up from his little game with the glass, though he visibly bristled at her closeness, as if finding something insulting in it. "I'm tired, dry, still suffering from a slight overdose of stimpaks..." His eyes went distant while his mouth moved, going through a mental checklist. "...my weapons have been repaired, I have sufficient ammunition, my wounds are healing nicely, I have restocked my supplies, I have noted father's likely location on the map in my pip-boy, most of my blood is now..." Nova stopped him by placing a hand on his wrist.
For a long moment he seemed about to repeat what he had done to Gob...Nova held her breath...then he shrugged and returned to watching his spinning glass. "That's not what I asked." She swallowed, up close he looked gnarled, as if the wasteland wind had blown all kindness out of him, tearing it off along with whatever little fat he had once possessed... what had happened? He heart ached at the sight...he was a hero dammit! Where was that man now?
"I...I...need..." The non-answer wasn't really pained, rather it seemed frustrated.
Was the hero still in there? Struggling to make his voice heard? If so he was small...a blot that the wastelander in him was crushing into nothing. Nova blinked, feeling her eyes prickle. Would this man help her now if she asked it? She liked to think so...she made herself think so. "What do you need? Because I've seen a lot of men walk in her needing something...and they never found it in the bottom of their glass."
"Guess you're right." The man pushed the glass aside, his gaze darting to his now empty hands, carefully closing and opening them he frowned. She could see his muscles play, see the power in the hands...there seemed to just be bones and muscles, barely contained in leathery skin. "I should go get my father..." He didn't get up though. "Need..."
Nova shook her head, blinking away a stray tear. "What? What do you need? We're your friends dammit, you're admired far and wide..." And close... "You don't need to push so hard, let someone in damn it! We're your friends yet we barely know who you are anymore...let us help." The plead felt a little pathetic, desperate, hero...come back.
"Who I am?" The question seemed to stir the man from his reverie, a frown creasing his forehead. "You don't know...anymore?" The frown deepened...then evened out as he suddenly looked up.
Nova took a frightened step back.
"Then I'll show you!"
All air was forced out of her lungs as she tried to back away...John was faster though, his hand suddenly around her throat, Nova only managed a strangled squawk when her feet lifted off the ground. John's eyes were afire with rage as he looked up at her, his left hand holding her up by her throat while the right was closing into a fist...oh God...! "J...Jo..." The blow sent her flying, her back slamming into her usual corner, the pain nothing compared to the sheer shock of what was happening. "Jo...John...!"
"Silence!" A blur passed before her.
Suddenly finding herself on the floor Nova whimpered, her whole face burning with the force of the backhand blow. "I..." Hero...no...don't. Nova tried to crawl away, hoping that getting behind the counter would somehow save her. "N...no..."
He got to her far before that, a vice closing around the back of her neck...Nova was pulled up once more, like a rag doll she hung there, her stunned body unable to move, to kick, to punch...to do anything! This was John! John! He shouldn't be...she couldn't...why!? "I said silence!"
Another stab of pain, this time of her face being slammed into the wall with the force of a battering ram. Nova winced, feeling blood in the corner of her mouth, a limp kick backwards missed...then more pain rushed through her when a heavy boot dug into her thigh, almost crushing the bone between the powerful kick and the wall. "Ah! No! I..." Her protests were cut short by him slamming her face back into the wall again, drawing even more blood.
Then she felt it, the hand grabbing the hem of her skirt...
Oh God!
"John!?" No...nonononono! Not him! He couldn't! He wasn't like that! He...wasn't...like that... Nova stifled a sniffle as she felt the hand pulling at her skirt, rough hand already running up her leg. God no...it was all a lie...there was no good fight...only the wasteland...only suffering...no heroes...no saving... "John..."
God no...
She went limp, not seeing the point of struggling anymore, welcoming the pain and humiliation...it was all she could expect...
God no...
A wiry body pressed up against her, pushing her into the wall until it hurt. A hand ran up her chest...then ripped her front open. The cold of the steel wall against her breasts was nothing...she couldn't feel anything anymore...it was just...nothingness. All was just echoes...just another day...it was just another day...just another rapist...as if it mattered...
God no...
Then all of a sudden...the pressure faded...and Nova fell to the floor as the grip on her neck disappeared. Had someone caught them? Nova hunched her shoulders up, some odd part of her making her cover up as best she could despite everything. Like it mattered...she glanced at the door, hoping it wasn't Gob standing there. The door was still closed however.
Frowning she turned her head even more...
John was clutching his chest with one hand, his other against the counter he now leant heavily against...and his eyes wide in utter horror. The anger was gone, the bitterness, even the impatience...all replaced by a fear that had drained his face of all colour and even as she watched made his hands shake with emotion.
Nova blinked, slowly turning where she sat she eyed John...her body wary...her mind blank. John inched further away from her, his hand on the counter clenching until it actually tore a piece off the counter. "Oh my God!" He suddenly exclaimed, fearful and wide eyes looking at her as if she had turned into a deathclaw.
She didn't say anything, mutedly staring back, an...odd feeling running through her. It was not simple relief...but some sort of cocktail of dread mixed with hope and confusion.
People had raped and tried to rape her many times...never had the man stopped on his own volition though...and never had she felt so...relaxed at the sight of the man, actually feeling safe. It was all so confusing...
The man shook his head, the hand clutching his chest moving up through his hair, his eyes bewildered as he finally looked away. "Wh...what am I doing!? He grasped his neck, eyes darting left and right, unable to keep still as his mind worked. "Wh...who the hell am I!?"
"You're the hero of the wastes." Nova replied, her voice was dull in her ears, devoid of emotion. How could she say that!? Why wasn't she screaming for help!? At him!? Why wasn't she biting and clawing? Or crying? Or curling up into a ball? Why did she feel so...calm?
She realised she was...waiting.
John slowly dropped upon a stool. "No...I'm not." His shoulders shook, but he didn't cry, if it wasn't for the horrified eyes he would have looked completely normal... "I'm filth." He shook his head, hands clenching at air as he struggled for words. "I...I hadn't...I don't..." He suddenly reached out, offering his hand to her.
Nova surprised even herself when she took it, feeling an odd warmth in her chest when he pulled her up to her feet, his eyes fixed on her. There was pain in them, hidden behind a mask of toughness...they didn't look away when she met his gaze, as if he was trying to communicate with her from a distant prison within him. "I'm...I'm so sorry."
The words were pathetic, a mutter barely filled with any shame...or any emotion...yet they were honest in some odd way.
Nova found herself smiling, the ache in her face oddly distant. "I know you are." Reaching out she ran a hand over the side of John's face, the scar was rough...his skin dirty and devoid of the softness that had once been there. He closed his eyes, suddenly he was just a man, a man shaking with shame and fear... "For you aren't a wastelander." He opened his mouth to protest. "You're...different." Despite it all...Nova felt herself becoming warmer. "You're ashamed...for something normal."
"It's...it's not." Came the lame reply, the man squeezing his eyes shut, his shaking getting worse.
"Yes it is." Nova felt sad, not over that she was right, or that she knew it from experience, but because he knew she was right...because he had gotten to know the harsh reality and lost himself in it. "But not for you...yet you slipped...why?"
"I..." He turned his head away, eyes still screwed shut while the counter creaked under his grip. "I...don't know."
Nova smiled. "They say you're the hero of the wastes...I say it...still do." The man flinched, as if her words stung him. "Yet you don't..." She felt the conflict brewing within the man, as if he was going to explode at any moment. "Don't tell me...tell yourself...who are you?"
The explosion didn't come, it fizzled out as John's shoulders dropped, his body going limp. "I don't know."
"Then you better find out."