Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar or the song "Agony" from Into the Woods, music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.

Author's Note: In my opinion, this is one of the funniest songs in Broadway history, and I've been trying to find a way to use it for a long time. I finally decided to expand on the scene in The Boiling Rock where Zuko and Sokka are talking about their love lives.

Agony

Did I abuse her or show her disdain?
Why does she run from me?
If I should lose her, how shall I regain
The heart she has won from me?

"My first girlfriend turned into the moon," Sokka informed Zuko as the balloon flew toward the island prison where he hoped his father was being held.

"Life's tough, buddy," Zuko responded.

Sokka thought back to how he'd first met Yue at the North Pole. He had thought her the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, but their whole relationship had been very confusing. First, she'd agreed to meet with him, and he'd given her a gift. Then she'd said she shouldn't be there and had run off. She'd run away again after Katara's battle with Master Pakku, and on Aang's advice, Sokka had gone after her that time. Things had become even more complicated when Yue kissed Sokka but followed that by telling him they couldn't be together.

Agony! Beyond power of speech.
When the one thing you want
Is the only thing out of your reach.

"We couldn't have been together, anyway," Sokka sighed, shaking his head. "She was engaged to someone else."

"Then how could she be your girlfriend?" Zuko wondered, brow furrowed.

"I guess she wasn't, really, but it was an arranged marriage, and…it's all pretty complicated." Silence fell over the two of them as Sokka considered the situations he managed to get himself into. He had fallen in love with Yue, who also liked him but was betrothed to a jerk. She had then become the moon spirit, out of reach of anyone. Even so, he'd allowed her memory to get in the way when he'd found Suki again. "Why is it the thing you want the most always seems to be out of reach?"

"Tell me about it," agreed Zuko.

High in her tower, she sits by the hour,
Maintaining her hair.
Blithe and becoming and frequently humming
A lighthearted air: Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

"So tell me about Mai," Sokka requested. "What's she like when she isn't trying to kill you?" Zuko offered a faint smile.

"Not much different, actually," he admitted. "She's pretty quiet. It's frustrating sometimes because it's so hard to get any kind of reaction from her. Her expression doesn't seem to change no matter what happens. Sometimes I can get her to smile, just a little."

"I have to admit, I never would have picked you two as a couple."

"We go way back," Zuko shrugged. "She and Ty Lee used to play with Azula, and she wasn't always like she is now. Azula was trying to put us together since…well, since before I was interested in girls."

"I didn't have that," Sokka commented wistfully. "All of the girls in my village were at least four years younger than me. In four or five years, that might have been okay, but…" he left the sentence unfinished.

Agony! Far more painful than yours.
When you know she would go with you,
If there only were doors.

"Do you think you'll ever go back?" asked Zuko.

"I hadn't thought much about it, but probably. Why?"

"I don't know if I'll have anything to go back to."

"What about Mai?"

"I don't think she'll take me back," Zuko returned morosely. "I left her on purpose this time, and I didn't even tell her. I left a note."

"You…left a note?" Sokka couldn't imagine leaving someone that way. Sure, he and Katara had almost left home without telling anyone, but that was because they'd been afraid Gran-Gran would try to talk them out of it. "How do you think she feels about what you're doing?"

"It's hard to say." Zuko paused. "The thing is, I think she would have come with me if I'd asked. That's why I didn't."

Agony! Oh, the torture they teach.
What's as intriguing
(Or half so fatiguing)
As what's out of reach?

Sokka certainly understood trying to protect the people you cared about, even when they made it very difficult, like his sister had a habit of doing. Fortunately, she had become able to take care of herself quite well in recent months, so he didn't worry so much on her account anymore.

"Once Aang defeats the Firelord, the Fire Nation will need a new leader," he pointed out. "That will have to be you."

"Uncle Iroh would be better," Zuko retorted.

"Maybe, but he doesn't have any kids, right?" When Zuko remained silent, Sokka continued. "You would still need to take over eventually. You don't want Azula in charge, do you?"

"Definitely not, but how do you know the other nations won't just carve up the Fire Nation and manage it themselves?"

Am I not sensitive, clever, well-mannered,
Considerate, passionate, charming,
As kind as I'm handsome,
And heir to a throne?

"Impractical," Sokka dismissed the idea. "It's an island nation too far from anything else for outsiders to run effectively. I mean, that's kind of the problem your ancestors have had with taking over the Earth Kingdom. No, the best option is for someone with a native claim to take the throne."

"You sound like you've really thought about this a lot," Zuko remarked.

"Well, I'm in line to take over the Southern Water Tribe someday," Sokka explained. "I know it's not on the same scale, but there are similarities."

"Hm," the prince grunted noncommittally. "So was the moon the only girl in your life?"

"Not exactly." Sokka didn't immediately elaborate on this as his thoughts again turned towards the past, this time recalling Suki. He'd actually met her first but become involved with her second. Again, he'd found himself in a complicated situation.

You are everything maidens could wish for!
(Then why no?)
Do I know?
(The girl must be mad.)

"Well, I hope you had better luck with that one," offered Zuko companionably.

"Yes and no. When we first met, she was beating me up all the time, but I guess I left a good impression in the end."

"You seem to have that effect on people," Zuko observed dryly.

"Very funny." Still, there was a certain similarity between his interactions with Suki and Zuko. They'd both begun by fighting him, with Sokka defending his home and Suki defending hers. Sokka's relationships with both had eventually turned into something less adversarial yet still somewhat uncertain and complex. Sokka really hoped Zuko wasn't planning to kiss or hug him, though. That would just be too weird.

"Where is she now?" asked Zuko.

You know nothing of madness
Till you're climbing her hair
And you see her up there,
As you're nearing her,
All the while hearing her "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!"

"I don't know, exactly. Your sister took her prisoner a few months ago, but she didn't say where."

"Oh." Zuko looked abashed. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well, you didn't do it." Granted, Zuko had almost burned down Suki's village, but this didn't seem to be the time to bring that up.

"I would have done it, if I thought it would get me Aang," replied Zuko stubbornly. Sokka shrugged. If only he had convinced Suki to come with him to Ba Sing Se. Maybe her situation wouldn't be that much better, and the other warriors would probably still be captives, but at least they could be together. Also, Suki would have noticed earlier that the "Kyoshi Warriors" who presented themselves to the Earth King were imposters. Still, there was no point in anguishing over what might have been.

"I just have to hope I can find her again," Sokka sighed, shaking off his melancholy. "What about you? Has there been anyone else, or was it always Mai?"

Agony! Misery! Woe!
Though it's different for each.
Always ten steps behind-
(Always ten feet below-)
And she's just out of reach.

"It's pretty much always been Mai." Zuko hesitated. "Well, there was this girl in Ba Sing Se. She kept coming into the tea shop to see me, and we went out together once."

"It didn't work out?"

"It went surprisingly well, in fact, but…everything I told her was a lie. I couldn't tell her who I really was, so it was like it wasn't really me there at all. I don't know if that makes any sense."

"Actually, it does," said Sokka, finding this completely comprehensible.

"She just sort of reminded me what I would be giving up if I decided to live there in disguise for the rest of my life. I wasn't ready to accept that."

"Well, here's hoping things work out for both of us," Sokka raised his water canteen, and they both drank to that. There was, after all, something to be said for camaraderie.

Agony that can cut like a knife.
I must have her to wife!

--

Author's Note: Was that as fun to read as it was to write? I hope so. It felt a bit choppy in places, but I couldn't come up with a better way to say the things I wanted to.

Review responses:

Shinobi Bender: Thank you very much. Although I wasn't crazy about Maiko to begin with, I'm finding a lot of songs that work with the ship.

eframtheretardedrabbit: My high school did the show twice after I graduated. Anyway, I am assuming Mai and Zuko must have exhibited some chemistry that we just didn't get to see.

Wishing Only Wounds the Heart: Oh, you definitely must see it! I think there's an old movie version, but finding a live performance is best. I'm glad you felt that I kept Mai in character. It is a bit of a challenge when you're moving into more mature territory.

nutshak: Five stars, eh? Thank you! You do seem to like the naughty ones, don't you?;)