Title: Mo'i Wahine (3 of 4)
Author: Icka! M. Chif
Word Count: 1,720
Rating: General
Author's Note: Blaming this on Wren and Jheen.
Summary: "Do you think I'm 'weird', Uncle Jumba?".
"Do you think I'm 'weird', Uncle Jumba?"
"Weird?" Jumba blinked all four of his eyes at the teenager sitting across the kitchen table from him. "What do you mean, 'weird'?"
Lilo groaned, leaned forward so that she was sprawled face down across the table, one hand stuck comically in the air, her long braid falling over one shoulder to nearly brush the floor. He had a sense of deja vu, of a time over a decade now when they had first met, where she would have required standing up on the chair to do the same motion now.
The girl he had once known was now turning into a very pretty young woman. At least by earth standards. That did not mean that she was any less perplexing now at 17 than she had been at 5. He reached across the table to poke her shoulder. "Again, what is this weird?"
"It's nothing." She propped herself up, resting a cheek on a hand. "Stupid Mertle being stupid again."
"Oh?" If it was something that brought Lilo to Jumba and Pleakley's kitchen table, then it wasn't 'nothing'. "And what is puny human girl being stupid about this time?"
Lilo made a face. "She and the other girls were checking out some of the guys after school and I said I didn't find any of them cute."
"You say that as if it is a bad thing." Jumba rumbled, picking up a mug of coffee and sipping it. Humans all looked weird to him. Not enough limbs, too scrawny.
"EXACTLY!" Lilo threw her hands into the air. "So the rest of the girls called me weird and now it's making the rounds at school that I don't like anyone, which is somehow worse than liking someone and it doesn't make any sense!"
"You make it sound as if humans are supposed to make sense." Jumba muttered into his coffee mug. "Why come to me about human affairs?"
She snorted, giving him a crooked smile. "You may not know humans, but you were in love at least once, weren't you?"
"I have no knowledge of what you are talking about." Jumba set his mug down on the table with a loud thump. "I told you before, I only married-"
"-For the tax break, to maintain your cover here on earth." Lilo repeated dutifully, rolling her eyes. "I know, I know. You've said only said so, like, a bajillion times, Uncle Jumba."
Jumba harrumphed, picking up his mug again. At least the child listened. Sometimes. He sipped his coffee loudly, giving himself some time to think. Lilo fiddled with her own cup, filled with Pleakley's special blend of local fruit juice, as was her habit to drink whenever she came over to visit.
"Do you find me weird?" He asked, cradling his mug between his large hands.
She gave him a sceptical look. "... You're an Evil Genius." She pointed out.
"Beside that." He waved it off. "Appearances. Do I look strange to you?"
"No..." She drawled out hesitantly.
"Pleakley?"
"No."
"Stitch?" He paused, frowning before she could answer. "Where is Number 626 today?"
"Watching Nani's brood." Lilo smiled. "Nani and David wanted a break from the kids, so he's watching them for a few hours. Uncle Bubbles said he'd be over later, to make sure the house doesn't get blown up again."
"They're in good hands then." His Experiment 626 was still the indestructible weapon he'd created years ago, which made him the perfect babysitter for two rambunctious children. They couldn't do anything to him that could cause permanent damage.
"And no. Stitch doesn't look strange." Lilo added, bringing the topic back to the original subject.
"To you, no." Jumba agreed. "But to anyone else-?"
"They call him a 'Mutant Koala' or a 'Rabid Hedgehog'." Lilo frowned, clutching the mug in her hand as if she'd like to punch whomever said that. "But he's not."
"No. He is not from Earth. So therefore, to those from Earth, he is strange." Jumba pointed out as kindly as he could manage. "As do I. As does Pleakley. But to you, we are not strange, we simply are."
Lilo set the mug down on the table, running a finger along the rim of the cup. "So... because I'm used to being around you guys, you're saying there's a chance I may not find human guys attractive?"
"Possibly." Jumba shrugged. "Is an idea. Or perhaps you are just not ready yet to pursue romantic relationships with other humans right now. There is no rush to find a partner. You are young still."
"True," Lilo said thoughtfully. "And all the guys in our class right now are jerks." She made a face, sticking out her tongue.
Jumba patted her hands. "If there is one thing I know about you, my little girl, is that you look at what people do, what they look like. Is a good trait to have."
"Oh." She gave him an embarrassed smile, as she tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear, blushing slightly. "You're too kind."
"Not at all." He held out his hands expressively. "Am Evil Genius. Am merely buttering you up to perform wicked experiments on you."
Lilo laughed, as he anticipated she would. "You've been saying that for years," she mock scolded, picking up her juice and taking a few gulps. "And you never have."
"Ah, you wound me." He pretended to be struck in the chest, the chair creaking dangerously under him as he leaned back. She giggled at his antics. Jumba smiled back, raising an eyebrow. "Feel better?"
"Much." She pushed her chair back, rising to her feet and automatically straightening the tropical print sarong tied around her waist in lieu of a skirt, the colours matching the bikini top she wore for the summer heat. She looked a great deal like her sister did when they had first met, the major differences being her mouth was slightly wider, in a perpetual smile, and her long un-cut hair. She walked over and planted a kiss on top of his head. "Thank you Uncle Jumba."
"Bah." He waved it off. "Is what Uncles are for."
She smiled sweetly at him before picking up a duffel bag from next to her chair, the grass skirt inside rustling. Hula practise next then, not the clacking of weapons. "Later, Uncle Jumba."
He rose to his feet, walking her down the hall to the front door. "Later, my dear." He said fondly as he opened the door for her.
She patted him on the arm as she passed him, only to stop before she stepped out. "Stitch!" Lilo exclaimed, her face lighting up in a sweet smile as she looked down. "I thought you were watching the brats!"
"Bubbles came early." Stitch shrugged, lowering the hand he had raised to knock on the door. "Wanted spend time with kids."
Cobra Bubbles may have been intimidating to anyone who didn't know him well, but they all knew that he had a huge soft spot for children.
"Walk me to dance lessons?" Lilo requested, her grin continuing unabated. Stitch nodded and quickly climbed up her legs and back in a spiral, over one shoulder and coming to rest in the crook of her arm, head resting on her shoulder. "Later, Uncle Jumba! Bye, Auntie Pleakley!" Lilo waved with her free hand, walking down the street with Stitch in her arm like a comfortable over-sized stuffed animal, the two talking softly in Intergalactic with each other.
Jumba watched them go with a wave and a fond grin of his own. "They do make a cute couple, don't they?" Pleakley commented, coming to stand in the doorway as well, leaning comfortably against Jumba.
"Yes. They do." Jumba nodded in agreement, resting a hand on Pleakley's long waist.
He watched them disappear around a curve in the road, Lilo's braid bouncing against the back of her thighs as she walked, back proud and tall, Stitch's flickering ears visible over her shoulder as they laughed together.
"She's going to be the Grand Councilwoman someday." Pleakley murmured, half to himself.
"Rumour says her Majesty is waiting for Lilo to finish her commitments on Earth before starting training." Jumba nodded. To finish High School before the Grand Councilwoman started schooling her in the ways of running the galaxy.
He couldn't think of anyone better for it.
And to do that, she was going to need all the help she could get, in addition to Stitch's protection.
It had taken him a long time to get the formula right, but he'd gotten it. Lilo's weight was 20 pounds heavier than another a human for her size and shape, due her skeletal frame and muscles being a great deal denser than Earth normal. This density lead to an increase in strength and speed, allowing her to cradle Stitch, weighing 120 pounds, with ease. Humans were so fragile, he wanted to be sure she would be physically be capable of dealing with aliens far stronger than her.
He'd also been able to increase her brain's capacity as well. She was the only human he knew of who was fluent in the science and mechanics of alien spacecraft, as well as a few languages. Which she was going to need for diplomacy.
All of which had been carefully and slowly administered to her in Pleakley's special juice whenever she came over to visit or for advice, adding to the unique flavour of the drink. Something she remained ignorant of to this day and he was not going to mention. Not so much because of of her or Nani's wrath, but because he knew the full extent of 626's capabilities. And Stitch would undoubtably -not- be pleased.
In his private opinion, there was no need for her to go looking at other human males for potential partners when she had Stitch. A more perfect match or influence on each other he could not think of.
Quite possibly, he was becoming a sap in his old age.
He glanced down at Pleakley, who was still resting comfortably at his side. Not his ideal choice for a partner, but not a decision he could see himself regretting any time soon. It was nice to have someone fuss over him occasionally. Another thing he would never admit.
But Jumba had family, he had friends, he had adventures and someone to share it all with.
Really, what more could an Evil Genius ask for?
-Besides orchestrating his own set up for Galactic conquest in front of everyone's backs, that was.
-fin-