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Meredith got home and paid for her and slowly got out. She knew that Mark would demand he pay for it when he saw her tomorrow, as he didn't drive her home. Opening the front door she was greeted by the smell of baking, which meant Izzy would have made something yummy. Too bad Meredith didn't feel eating.
Meredith walked in to the entry way of the lounge room to see Izzy sitting on the lounge. "Hey," Izzy said happily with her mouthful. "Cake?" She asked as she held up a piece of cake on a plate which was half eaten.
"Pass," Meredith said walking in and falling into the lounge. "Why are men such dicks?"
Izzy sighed and put the cake down on the coffee table. "Is it all men or just one?"
"Just one…" Meredith held up one finger then suddenly thought. "Wait…no two," Meredith said as she sat up and got the fork on the coffee table and started stabbing the cake that Izzy had offered her.
"Two?" Izzy started to wonder who the second was.
"Yeah Sloan." Meredith said with a sigh, knowing that she didn't want the same type of relationship as she had with Derek. "Derek is staying with him."
"Hey that's my cake," Alex said as he walked into the lounge room and took the fork off Meredith and pushed her slightly so she would move up the lounge. "Oh man. Izzy did you eat half my cake?"
Izzy looked at Alex and continued on talking to Meredith. "Well you can't blame Sloan he has been friends with Derek since they were Lachlan's age."
"Izzy stop defending them I need to vent," Meredith said frustrated.
"Alright, alright vent," Izzy said looking over to Alex who was devouring the rest of his cake.
"Why do guys just leave you and then expect when they come back they can just slot back into your life?" Meredith asked no expecting an answer.
"Because were asses," Alex said shovelling the last bit of his cake into his mouth.
"Thank you," Meredith said glad that Alex agrees, not that she was expecting to answer let alone agree.
"But Meredith you have got to understand that we don't know better, and that we don't know how you chicks feel." Alex put his plate down on the coffee table. "I know that Lachlan has you, Mark and all the rest of us, but he needs his dad. I didn't have my dad around but every day I wished that I did…putting all his crap aside."
Meredith sat there for a moment contemplating what Alex just said. "I think I am going to go to bed."
Izzy and Alex watched Meredith leave the room. "Nice going there Alex." Izzy said.
"Hey if you didn't realise I gave her something to think about. She might now second guess what is best for her kid now." Alex stood up. "So are you coming or what."
Meredith made it to her room and sat down on her bed. Alex was right, Lachlan needed to know his father, even though Mark had been in the picture since Lachlan was born, he really did need to get to Derek, but Meredith wasn't ready to have him back. She wasn't sure what she was meant to do. Was she meant to do what was right by her or what is right by her child. Damn my childhood, Meredith thought. Why couldn't I have a normal mother and family. If only Meredith had a normal mother she would know what to do…or at least she might have been able to call her.
Suddenly she heard her phone ring. Rummaging through her bag she found it. Flipping it open she read the name of the person who was calling her. Mark. She didn't want to talk to him; she didn't want him to make excuses of why he was giving Derek a second chance, and how much he was sorry.
Meredith closed her phone and chucked it into a pile of clothes across the room, hoping the ringing would stop so that she could fall asleep.
It stopped. But once again it started up. "Mark why are you so persistent!" Meredith shouted as she rolled over and put her pillow on her head. Once she had blocked out the sound of her phone ringing with her pillow, she closed her eyes and fell to sleep.
On waking up the next morning Meredith quickly had a shower and got changed, knowing that she would need to get Lachlan ready for his appointment with the paediatrician.
"Good morning everyone," Meredith said coming into the kitchen and walked over to the coffee pot, knowing that she wouldn't be able to get Lachlan ready without having her first coffee of the morning.
"Morning," Alex said cranking eating his cereal out of the box while he say on the kitchen bench.
Meredith smiled knowing that Alex is never a morning person.
"Good morning everyone two guesses who woke me up this morning," Izzy said as she carried Lachlan into the kitchen with her.
"Oh so sorry Izzy I must have been dead asleep," Meredith said as she took her son from her.
"It's ok, we had a lot of fun playing," she said as she tickled Lachlan and he started laughing.
"Well I am heading in." Meredith held Lachlan to her side and checked her watch. "In about 10 minutes so do you guys want a ride?" Meredith asked as she put Lachlan into his high chair, and grabbed a banana out of the fruit bowl.
"Yeah that would be great," Izzy said as she filled up her travelling coffee mug and walked out of the kitchen so she could continue getting ready.
Alex followed Izzy out making grunting. Meredith laughed and started feeding Lachlan the banana that she took out of the fruit bowl.
Once Meredith had parked the car and she said goodbye to Izzy and Alex as they went to rounds and she walked over to the Paediatrics department where Lachlan's appointment was.
On walking into the department she let the receptionist know they were here. Meredith walked away from the desk and began to look for a seat when her eyes met with Mark and Derek who were sitting in the back row. "Seriously, what are you doing here?" Meredith asked Mark when she walked over to them.
Mark stood up and took Lachlan off her so she could put her bag down. "If you don't remember Mere you were the one that asked me to come to this appointment. And if I recall correctly the words pliers and my privates were mentioned if I didn't come."
Meredith sighed and crossed her arms. "Ok well that explains you being here." Meredith looked to Derek. "So what are you doing here? From memory I didn't ask you to come."
"By right I am Lachlan's father and I deserve to be here," Derek said plainly as he crossed his arms. Not really wanting to see Meredith and Mark together today. When Derek managed to get a hotel room after he spent a couple of hours at Joes, he couldn't get to sleep. He was tossing and turning in the bed, having the images of Mark and Meredith kiss replayed over and over again in his head.
"Lachlan Shepherd!"
Meredith turned around and looked at the lady that had called her son's name. "Fine." Meredith didn't have time to argue. "Do what ever you want." Meredith picked up her bag and all 3 of them walked into the Doctor's examination room, with Mark carrying Lachlan in.
"Big group today Dr Grey," The doctor said as she pointed for them to take a seat.
"Yeah sorry," Meredith said as she took a seat, placing her bag on the floor beside her.
"So Lachlan's is here for his check up?" the Doctor asked as she took a seat behind her desk and opened up Lachlan's file.
"Dr Wilder, would I be able to have a copy of Derek's medical records?" Derek asked taking a seat across from her and crossed his hands in front of him.
Meredith turned in her chair to look at Derek who was sitting beside her. "Seriously?!"
Derek looked from the Doctor to Meredith. "I have been out of my son's life for two years and I would like to know my son's medical history."
"Derek come on, do you think Meredith is a bad mother?" Mark asked as he put Lachlan on the examination bed and he leaned up against it.
"No I am not saying she is a bad mother, I just would like to know his medical history," Derek said wondering what all the fuss was, as it seemed like a valid request.
"Meredith are we going to have a problem," Dr Wilder said as she crossed her arms in front of her, not wanting a domestic to happen in her office.
Meredith turned back to the Doctor and sighed. "No were not, please just give me a moment." Meredith stood and went over to Mark. "Please stay here and start the examination with out me, I won't be too long." Meredith kissed the top of Lachlan's forehead and looked back to Derek. "Outside now!"
Both Derek and Meredith left the room and found a spare examination room close by so they could talk in private. Meredith opened the door and walked through and waited for Derek to enter before she spoke.
"Now Meredith please don't get angry I am just trying to be involved in my son's life." Derek said as he watched Meredith close the door behind her.
"Derek asking for his medical records.? If you wanted to be in his life why didn't you buy him a toy dump truck?" Meredith shook her head. Derek seemed to missing the point. "Derek I told you that I wasn't ready for you to be in his life," Meredith sighed she was sick of continuously telling him over and over again that she wasn't ready.
"Yes I know Meredith…when you are ready. I hope when you are ready you will include me in your life. But I want to be a proactive part of Lachlan's life now." He walked closer to her. "I want to be part of his life now, when he is young and can get used to calling me dad. Not when he is 13 years old and wondering why his dad was never around."
Meredith thought for a moment. He had a point, and she hated that he was right. No he's not right, Meredith thought getting angry. "Derek you shouldn't have come. Like I said I will let you into his life when I chose."
Meredith went to leave before Derek stopped her by grabbing her hand. "Meredith when is this going to end. I know that I left; I know that I didn't answer your calls when you rang. But I am here; I am standing in front of you begging for you to forgive me. I want to be here for both you and Lachlan." Derek pulled Meredith closer to him with her hand.
Meredith wanted to pull away, but again that familiar feeling was back. The feeling of being wanted, she so wanted that feeling back, she wanted Lachlan to have a family; she didn't want him growing up like she did, all dark and twisty. But Mark, Mark was their family too now; he had been there for it all how could she turn her back on him.
"I have been there with you when people left you. I was by your side when your mum died, I was there when Susan died and your father didn't want you. For fuck sake Meredith, I was the one that pulled you out of the water when you didn't want to be you anymore. And then you told me that it was over in front of a room full of people." Derek dropped Meredith's hand and walked away. "I was heart broken Meredith, I thought once again you weren't ready for us, and I did the stupid thing of leaving you." Derek sat down on the examination bed and looked down to the floor and sighed. Looking back up to Meredith he spoke. "That was one of the hardest moments of my life, leaving you. Leaving you behind so that you could move on so you could find what you were looking for. And I couldn't bare watch you move on with out me."
Meredith saw the sadness in his eyes. Her legs felt weak and she had to sit down, she felt so much pain in her heart from looking at him.
"Meredith I have been punished enough, I missed all the special moments in both yours and Lachlan's life already." Derek stood up from the examination bed and squatted down in front of Meredith to be at her eye level. "I missed seeing you pregnant, I missed seeing the scans of Lachlan and discussing whether or not we should find out what his sex was. I missed you giving birth to our son and holding your hand and being there for you. I missed holding his little hand in mine, his first word, his first steps." Derek pushed a piece of Meredith's hair behind her ear. "I am so sorry that I wasn't there for you, if I could take back what I did I would do it in a heart beat."
Meredith didn't know what to say and she could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she remembered what happened without Derek and how much she did want to share it with him. Clearing her throat and wiping away a few stray tears she looked at him. "Ok you can stay for his appointment." Standing up she walked over to the door. "But the rest of it we will have to talk about. You have to remember that Mark is a big part of our lives know, and that he has been through everything with us."
"I know and I will have to get used to that, but the main thing is that I get to be involved," Derek said slightly smiling.
Meredith smiled at Derek as he gave her the McDreamy face. She opened the door and walked back towards the room that her son was in with Derek tagging behind her.
Once the appointment was finished Meredith and Mark left to take Lachlan to childcare before they both went back to their shifts. Derek decided to stay behind so that he could go through his son's medical past with Dr Wilder.
"Meredith."
Meredith looked up from taking off her shoes to see Mark standing near the door in dark blue scrubs. "What can I do for you Dr Sloan?" Meredith asked still cranky from the pervious night.
Mark walked into the locker room. "You don't have to be like that with me, you know that I would have given him a chance."
Meredith sighed and pulled her running shoes out of her locker and sat back down on the bench. "I know." Meredith sighed again. "I guess I was angry that you didn't talk to me about it first."
Mark sat down next to her. "I know I should have told you that I had made that decision." He said looking down to his hands then looked back to her. "Were good though?"
Meredith smiled. "Of course we are, but we are in a relationship we have to talk about these things," she said as she nudged him.
"Alright good." Mark kissed her on the cheek and stood up and began to walk towards the door but was stopped.
"Mark." Meredith Paused for a moment as Mark turned around and looked at her. "Should I give him a chance?"
Mark rubbed his face feeling the roughness of the stubble on his hand. He had to think for a moment as he wasn't sure how to answer her. He had seen what she had gone through without him. "Meredith," he began as he walked back over and sat down next to her. "You know what Derek is like, he is always going to try and be part of your life, whether you like it or not." Mark placed his hand on her knee. "I guess there is no harm in hearing him out." Mark watched as Meredith put her left runner on her left foot and tied the shoe lace, and then sat back up.
"I know you're right, I am just afraid of getting hurt again, and mostly of Lachlan getting hurt." Meredith leaned down again and put on her right runner on her right foot and tied the shoe lace.
"Meredith being afraid means you have something to lose." Mark again stood up and headed for the door, but stopped. "Just promise me you will hear him out."
Meredith nodded, and thought about what Mark had said being afraid means you have something to lose…but I am not afraid of losing Mark? Meredith slightly panicked what does that mean?
"Oh and don't wait up tonight, I have a hell of a long surgery today and I don't think I will get out of here anytime soon." Mark said waiting for an answer.
Meredith suddenly realised that Mark has said something. "Huh?"
Mark laughed and said goodbye then continue out the door.
The day went reasonably quick after Meredith started her shift, only seeing Derek a couple of times throughout the whole day as Mr Soy was both their patient. Procrastinating most of the day about what Mark had said to her, Meredith decided to take Mark's advice and here Derek out. She asked him to come over to her house later that night at about 9 as her shift finish at 7, so that they could talk.
"Derek's…coming here?" Izzy asked as she watched Meredith change Lachlan into his pyjamas on his bedroom floor.
"Izzy I am just taking some friendly advice and hearing him out." Meredith said standing up then picking Lachlan up off the floor up.
"This isn't the same guy that suggested you should call your son little Sloan is it?" Izzy asked following Meredith out of her son's room, turning the lights off and closing the door behind them.
"So what." Meredith stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at Izzy. "I know that eventually I will want Lachlan to know his father, so what if I want him to know him when he is young and so he can learn to call him dad." Thank you Derek, Meredith said, and she remembered that Derek had said that to her earlier that day.
"Ok," Izzy said holding her hands up in defence. "I just thought that it was a little strange that last night you didn't want anything to do with him, and now you are asking him over."
Meredith sighed and sat down on the chair by the stairs. "I know…do you think it is a little too soon for me doing this?" Meredith asked thinking that this is now a wrong idea. Suddenly she heard her mobile phone go off in the bed room. "Here take him and keep him occupied," Meredith said handing Lachlan to Izzy then rushed into her room to answer her phone.
Desperately looking for her phone she found it in the pile of clothes that she chucked it in last night she answered it. "Hello."
"Hey Mere."
Meredith smiled hearing the voice at the other end. "I thought you told me that you were going to be in surgery for hours."
"Well those hours turned into nothing, the patient was too unstable to have surgery, so we have postponed it until tomorrow. So what do you say that I take you to dinner, seen as though you didn't get any last night."
"Well I can't tonight," Meredith said walking out of her room and to the seat above the stairs. "I am taking some of your advice and hearing Derek out."
"Really, so it seems like I was right again," Mark said as Meredith could hear the smile in his voice.
"MERE!" Meredith's stood up as she heard Alex call from down stairs. "SHEPPARD'S HERE!"
"Mark I have to go, Derek is here, but I will call you later." Meredith said starting to feel butterflies in her stomach.
"Fine, go. But play nice."
Meredith slightly laughed. "Bye Mark." Meredith hung up her phone and took a deep breath and began to walk down stairs.