Disclaimer: Once again like every chapter I own nothing.
Now I would like to apologise in advance, it looks like I got a little carried away with the sex scene.
Please keep the reviews coming I really would love to know how I am doing.
"Hello Derek."
Derek looked up to see Meredith standing on the stairs. "Hello Meredith," he said softly then swallowed hard. He felt really nervous about speaking to her tonight. He thought that they might be able to finally sort out some things, and say some things that have been left unsaid.
Meredith slowly walked down the stairs. She had taken Mark's advice to hear Derek out, but he didn't tell her what she should say. Meredith was about to say something but Derek interrupted her.
"Meredith, before you say anything, before you tell me that you don't want me around anymore, please hear me out." Derek walked closer to her. "I love you." Derek's eyes softened and a smile came across his face.
Meredith's body felt lip as she heard those three words, those three words that she loved hearing from him. "Dere-"
Again Derek interrupted her. "Meredith I have never stopped loving you. I don't want us to be apart anymore, I want us all to be a family." Derek took one of
Meredith's hands in his. "I don't care that you have started a relationship with Mark, and I know what I did was stupid, I know what I did was completely wrong and I am sorry for that. I want to be part of your life; I just want to be part of Lachlan's life. Meredith please let me be part of your lives."
Meredith stood at the foot of the stairs. She looked from Derek to her hand, which was in his. Meredith replayed those three words in head. They sounded so loud they echoed. Meredith looked back up to Derek; he was giving her that face, that McDreamy face. This situation felt so familiar like the time he told her that he loved her when he was with Addison.
Slowly Meredith removed her hand from his, and without saying anything she walked into the living room and sat down on the lounge looking straight down to the coffee table, which was in front of her.
"Meredith?" Derek followed her into the living room. "Meredith?"
Meredith knew that Derek wanted her to say something, something that would let him know that she was listening, or that she too felt the same way as him. Meredith continued to look at the coffee table. There wasn't anything interesting on the table, but for some reason she couldn't take her eyes off it. She was still hearing those three words echo in her head. Closing her eyes she tried to think of something else. Ok chocolate, surgery, Mark…Mark! Meredith suddenly realised that she couldn't say anything, she couldn't do anything that would hurt Mark.
"Meredith?" Derek sat down next to her and placed a hand on her cheek and turned it towards him. "Meredith I love you."
Meredith lost all control of her movements. She felt herself lean towards him, she couldn't stop herself, even the thoughts of Mark, and her hurting him had vanished from her mind. All she could think of was Derek and her lips on his. Meredith placed a kiss on his lips. They felt soft, and that familiar feeling was back again. It felt so warm and inviting, it felt so right. She wanted more and she couldn't stop herself.
Derek's hand moved down to Meredith's waist and pulled her body closer to him. He wanted her, and he needed her. He missed her; he missed the feel of her body. The kiss grew more passionate and Derek heard Meredith let out a little moan. "Meredith."
What are you doing? Meredith asked herself as she pulled away from the kiss and looked at Derek who was smiling form ear to ear. Again the thought of Mark was in her mind. And what she just did felt like she was ripping his heart out. "Derek I…I…" Meredith touched her mouth with her fingers. She couldn't talk, the words weren't coming out of her mouth, and it was as if the kiss had stolen her voice.
"Meredith I understand that this is so much to handle at the moment. But I do love you, and I am willing to take this slow." He pushed Meredith's dark blonde hair away from her perfect blue eyes. "Little baby steps."
There was that McDreamy face again and it was clouding her judgment. "Derek…" Again the words couldn't come out. "Mark." She said knowing that she couldn't get out a full sentence.
Derek looked away. It is not like he couldn't forget about him, as the imagers of him and Meredith had been plaguing his thoughts. "Do you love him?" Derek asked looking to Meredith.
"He has been here for me when you weren't" Meredith told him feeling as though tears were about to roll down her cheeks.
"Do you love him?" Derek asked again harshly wanting an answer.
"Derek I…I…" Meredith stood up not knowing how to answer his question. Finally the tears broke free of her eyes and they began to roll down her face. She couldn't stay there anymore she had to get away from him; walking away she headed for the stairs.
"Meredith," Derek called getting up from the lounge and began to follow.
"Leave me alone," Meredith shouted back as she ran up the stairs and to her room.
"Meredith." Derek followed up the stairs and to her room where he closed the door behind him and found her leaning on the sink and looking at the mirror. "Meredith."
"Just leave me alone," Meredith said looking down at the sink, feeling nauseas that she couldn't answer Derek's question. She couldn't think about it should didn't want to make a decision right there and then about how she felt about Derek, or how she felt about Mark.
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Derek said walking further into her room.
"No I'm not alright Derek, are you satisfied I am not alright!" Meredith said moving away from the sink and out of her bathroom to confront him. "Because you left me, because you left our son and you just expect to slot back into our lives like nothing happened, and now you tell me that you love me." Meredith walked closer to Derek. "You don't love me. You left me."
"I do love you," Derek said with his McDreamy face.
"You don't love me. I am with Mark, and he was here when you weren't, and he has plans. And I like Mark, he is perfect for me and I am really trying here, I am really trying to be happy and I can't be if you're telling me that you love me." Meredith said realising that she was starting to get hysterical and finding it hard to breath.
"Do you think I want you to be happy with him," Derek said with a harsh tone. "Don't you think I would rather see you happy with me? I have responsibilities to you, to our son. Don't you think that I would rather be happy with someone else, someone that doesn't make me crazy, someone that doesn't make me impossible to feel normal, Don't you think I want to be with someone that doesn't make me sick to my stomach when I think of Mark touching her with his hands." Derek took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Don't you think I give anything not to feel like this?" Derek started to take a couple more deep breaths. He was raising his voice and getting angry. He didn't want to be angry at her, this wasn't her fault.
Meredith walked closer to Derek with a sorrowful look on her face. She didn't like Derek yelling at her, she had never liked him talking to her like that, but what he was saying to her had struck a cord. He really did love her, and she wasn't ready for him when he did tell her all those years ago, and that had hurt him.
Derek looked at her and the sadness that was on her face. He felt so horrible that he had reacted like that to her. Talking a step forward Derek put his hands on her head and kissed her passionately.
Meredith put her arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss, forcing Derek to walk backwards and sit on the bed. Meredith straddled Derek's lap and continued on kissing him passionately.
Derek slowly began kissing Meredith's check followed by her neck. Making his way back her neck with butterfly kisses until he came back to her soft lips where again he kissed.
Meredith let out a slight moan, loving the way that this was making her feel.
Derek ran his fingers through her hair as he parted from her lips, taking in quick shallow breaths as she smiled at him. He wanted her.
Meredith lifted her arms with a smile, indicating to Derek for him to take her shirt off.
Derek put a hand at each of her hips as he slid his hands up her body under her shirt as her shirt rested on his wrists and followed his hands up. When he got to her arm pits he took the shirt in his hands and pulled it up over her head and arms. Bringing his arms to his sides he looked at her as her blonde curls fell to her shoulders. Over the past two years he never forgot what she looked like naked and he had dreamed of the moment ever since she got back to Seattle. "You are even more beautiful then I remember."
Meredith smiled and kissed him running her hands up his chest and to his top button of his shirt and undoing them one by one until she hand undone his shirt. Again she ran her hand up his chest and slid it off his shoulders where he helped take it off his arms.
Derek ran his fingers over Meredith's back and leaned back on the bed. Meredith followed him not wanting to part from the kiss. Holding tightly on to Meredith Derek rolled over so that Meredith was now on the bottom. Running his hand down the side of her half naked body, Derek unzipped Meredith's pants and slid his hand down them feeling how wet she had become. Derek took his hands away from her and stood. Unzipping his own pants and taking them off, Derek slid Meredith's pants off while she was still of the bed longingly looking up at him.
"Derek please," Meredith whispered as she leaned up on her elbows and looked at him as her hair fell over her shoulders. "Please don't make me wait any longer."
Derek moved so that he was now on top of here and began kissing her and slid his member into her pulsating centre.
Grinding their hips together Meredith softly moaned no longer able to focus on kissing Derek as she fell back onto the bed. Pushing her hips closer to Derek she arched her back and Derek kissed her chest as he place one hand at the small of her back to support her.
Feeling the kisses across her chest and breasts Meredith's fell backwards. "Derek," She breathed.
Hearing her say his name made him explore deeper inside her grinding her harder.
"Derek faster," she whispered again, as she brought her head up to look at him.
Derek began thrusting harder into her, making him lose his grip on her back making her fall back onto the bed. Thrusting deeper, harder and faster into her, her moans came faster.
Derek felt like he was close to ecstasy as he felt Meredith's finger nails dig into his back as she pulled herself up closer to Derek's chest. Feeling her tighten and twitch underneath him he continued going deeper into her until they both let out a huge moan, with Meredith falling back onto the bed and also with Derek falling and rolling out of Meredith to land next to her on the bed.
Both panting Derek look at Meredith who was looking at the ceiling above the bed.
"Meredith?"
Meredith rolled over and laid on her hand looking at Derek. She didn't know what to say to him as she savoured the moment that they just had together.
Derek ran his fingers through her damp curls and smiled. "Meredith," He whispered as he leaned in and kissed her. Touching their foreheads together he spoke. "I love you, I always have, and I always will." Derek pulled his face away from hers. "But what we just did, what does this mean?"
Meredith put her hands on his and ran it along her face and kissed it when it got to her mouth. Again she wasn't sure what to say to him, how she was meant to tell him that what they just did, even how great it was, it was wrong and shouldn't have happened. "Derek I-"
Derek took her hand away and looked away from Meredith. "Mark." Again that man had ruined a perfect moment. Derek rolled on to his back, he didn't realise that he would have to fight for Meredith.
"Derek," Meredith rolled over and placed her hand on his chest. "I am not sure where we stand here."
Derek turned his head and looked at her. "Meredith I love you, and I am not going any where." Derek rolled fully over and placed his hand on her face. "I am not going anywhere this time Meredith you can take all the time you need." Derek leaned in and kissed her.
As they pulled away Meredith smiled, loving that Derek was giving her time, but it was going to be a tuff decision as both the men in her life have a lot of pros and cons. How was she meant to choose between them? In one hand she has Derek, they have a history…a great history, but he did leave her. In the other hand she has Mark, he has a bad man whoring past, but he was there when she needed someone, and he has been great.
Meredith rolled back over and looked at the ceiling. Time to think Mere, and lets hope you make the right decision.