Chapter 8

Draco raised the lit wand in front of him and led the way down the hall. He grabbed Hermione's hand and held it behind him at the small of his back, making sure she stayed behind him and away from the walls. He led her back towards the stairs, as she had thought, and towards the familiar hallway where they slept and ate. She realized she was cold, and was shivering in her soaked clothing by the time they reached the bottom of the stairs. Neither of them said a word.

He led her past "her" room, and stopped at a door on the other side of the hall, pulling it open. It was a bathroom. No, that would be an understatement. It was enormous! Ok, Maybe not as big as she had heard the prefect's bathroom was, but a marble bathtub built into the floor in the center of the room looked almost big enough to swim in.

"Wait here. Go ahead and get in, I'll try and find some clothes and a towel for you." And with that, he left.

'Go ahead and get in?' she thought, kinda worried. OK, he had seen her in her underwear before, but this wasn't the same life-or-death situation.

The room included a large mirror across from the bath, and Hermione could see her ragged self.

She looked like a dirty puppy left out in the rain. Her hair was wet, but not wet enough to go flat; just wet enough to look a mess. The baggy clothes hung limp around her, and the white shirt had become very see-through. Figures.

She decided to stop procrastinating and just get in the damn tub. She was cold and looked like shit, and damn it, she needed a bath. The months of camping had not been kind to her hygiene, either. A bath in something other than a frigid lake was overdo.

Hermione went over to the tap, and had barely touched it when water filled the tub, and ugly golden swan spit lilac-scenting bubbles out all over. By the time she was undressed, the bubbles were about a foot thick over the surface of the water.

Sinking into the tub, she let out a sigh of relief. She was warm, and bubbles covered her up more than normal clothes, so she didn't have to worry about Malfoy's return with the towel and clothes. Honest. No worries. Right?

She dunked down below the surface of the water, smoothing back her hair and she came up. She looked in the mirror, satisfied with the way her hair lay flat on her head when it was wet. She was clearing bubbles from her face when she heard a knock.

"Are you in?" Draco asked from behind the door.

"Uh, yeah."

The door clicked as Draco opened it, fluffy things in his arms. He walked to a bench pressed against the wall next to the tub. He was forcefully not looking down at the tub, staring down at the towel and robe as if they were the only interesting things in the room.

"I'll have some new clothes on your bed." Draco said, looking back towards the door. "I didn't think about it last night…for obvious reasons….but you don't have to sleep on that hard couch. It just happened to be the closest, warmest room available when I found you. There's a guest room down the hall; I'll show you when you're done." And with that he left.

Hermione had been sitting down in the tub with the bubbles all the way up to her face, but Draco never glanced over. Most would probably take this to mean he didn't give a shit about whether someone like her was naked in the same room as him. Hermione decided to just take it as he was being a gentleman. She had decided, since he had saved her life twice now, that she would start taking the better of two options when analyzing his actions. It would drive her less crazy, that way.

After she felt she was sufficiently clean, she got out and dried off with the ridiculously fluffy white towel. She didn't know what to do with it or the old clothes, so she folded them and set them on the bench.

She put on the green robe (ugh, there was a Slytherin crest on it!), and opened the door. Draco was leaning against the wall, waiting outside.

His eyebrows rose when he saw her, and his eyes traveled down, seemingly of their own accord. He cleared his throat, and managed "Green looks good on you," before he turned and led the way to the guest room.

Hermione made a face at that comment and padded behind him in her bare feet. She entered the room behind him. It was just before the kitchen, a couple doors down from Draco's room.

The guest room was done in burgundy. Yes, burgundy. She turned and looked at Draco.

He shrugged. "I figured you'd like this room best. It's a bit smaller than the others, though…"

Hermione grinned. He had chosen it specifically because he knew she'd like the Gryffindor color. Even though he'd said she 'looked good in green.' She had no idea why this made her so giddy.

On the bed was a stack of clothes, black slacks and a green shirt. She lifted them up and saw that they were big. Draco's. He had remembered she didn't want to wear Bellatrix's things.

She looked over to him, grinning.

"What the hell is that look for, Granger?" Draco asked, looking a bit perplexed.

"Nothing." She said.

He walked over, closer to her. "Are you feeling better? I mean, done almost dieing, now, are we?"

"Yeah…thank you again." She whispered, the grin dropping into a more serious face.

"So…about earlier…"

"Earlier?"

"When you were hugging me…again."

Hermione blushed. Why would he bring that up?! Where was his tact? Couldn't he tell that embarrassed the hell out of her?

He stepped closer, placing a hand on her arm. He leaned down to look at her eye level.

"Granger, let's just be frank. What is it you want from me? Do you want me to leave you alone, or…. what?" She avoided his eyes, and he bent in a way to meet her eyes in the new direction she was looking. "You keep changing your mind, and I don't want to do anything that you don't want…but I don't even know what that is."

Hermione barked out a little laugh. "Why is it you care, now, about what would hurt me? Seven years of going out of your way to hurt me and my friends, and now your worried you might offend me by kissing me?" She felt her eyes grow wet, and blinked rapidly. Crying would be stupid! She had only been like this- whatever the hell "this" was- with Draco for two days. Two days, and she was crying over him? Like hell!

She turned her tears into anger the best she could, her eyebrows furrowing together. "What is wrong with you? Not 48 hours ago you said, and I quote, "You don't have anything I'd want to see anyways, Mudblood."

Her face fell. "What the hells wrong with me, too?"

Draco listened silently to her rant. Hermione looked at him expectantly, waiting for an explanation. She was absolutely furious with herself when she felt the first tear fall. Damn it!

This was ridiculous! She wasn't getting answers out of him! Why would he care? It doesn't make sense! People don't just change overnight; he never cared about her before.

Suddenly he was there, leaning down with his lips brushing hers. She felt his warm breath on her face, and leaned forward enough to press her lips against his. His head turned a little so his mouth could move with hers, and before she knew what was happening his arms where around her, their kiss deepening.

She placed her arms around his waist, her hands on his lower back, pressing him to her. She felt like the world was spinning, and she suddenly forgot what she had been saying.

What exactly was her argument for not doing this?

She didn't have a clue anymore.

His tongue made it's way across her lower lip softly, and she parted her mouth to let him deepen their kiss. She felt him exploring her mouth, and with that she ran one of her hands up the back of his shirt, feeling his skin.

He tasted so sweet, and he still smelled so good. The kiss became more frantic, and she found herself sitting on the edge of the bed with him leaning down, still kissing her. His arms moved from her shoulders to the bed, pushing her down with the movement.

His mouth moved from her lips to her cheek, and up to her ear. He was breathing hard as he kissed her again and again, and growled near her ear "You have lots I'd like to see, actually, Granger."

Hermione found herself lying on the bed at this point, with her legs dangling off at her knees. Draco was on top of her on his hands and knees, one leg still partly off the bed with the knee pressed in between her legs.

The robe was looser now, and the neckline drooped lower and lower. Draco cupped the side of Hermione's face with one hand, using the other to keep himself up. He moved now to kiss along her neck, drifting softly lower. He moved her head slightly so it would be easier.

Hermione's eyes fluttered closed and she gasped as his lips reached her collarbone, moving across it slowly.

Her own hands worked their way up his back further and further, and on a sudden whim she pulled the collared shirt from his head without bothering to undo any buttons.

The movement interrupted Draco's work for a moment, and as soon as the shirt was gone he pressed himself close to her body, pushing them both further up onto the bed.

He moved back to her lips, and they were soon both gasping for air.

Her robe was coming open slowly, the belt of it unknotting. She felt something hard press against her lower body and gasped. She knew this was going to far, but she pushed the thought to the back of her mind. She wanted so bad to just let go, just do something stupid and worry about the consequences later. She moved against him, and he let out a groaning noise. Their lips parted as Draco moved lower once again, closer to what lay under the drooping neckline of her robe. This time he was moving quicker, less patient.

That's when she saw it.

The Dark Mark.

She knew it was there already, but out of sight, out of mind, right?

It was very much in sight, on his left forearm placed by her head. It made her blood run cold.

That's when she realized that this wasn't just stupid because Malfoy had always been cruel too her.

It wasn't stupid because she was about to lose her virginity to someone who didn't love her.

It wasn't even stupid because Ron and Harry would be so upset.

It was stupid because there were bigger issues at hand, and lives were in the balance. It was stupid because Draco Malfoy was still part of enemy, and if directly commanded would probably do whatever he needed too to stay alive. That's just the kind of person he was. A Slytherin through and through.

Draco sensed the sudden change in the atmosphere and slowly looked up. Hermione looked from his arm to his face.

It dawned on him what was going on, and he backed off the bed.

Hermione sat up, using her elbows for support.

They were both still breathing hard, and Hermione could still feel the pressure of Draco's lips on hers.

Draco ran a hand through his hair, putting it back in place. He realized he was doing so with his left hand, looked at it, and dropped it to his side.

Hermione sat up all the way, rather stiffly, as she adjusted her robe. Now that she could get a good look at Draco, she decided she liked him without a shirt. Seaker's weren't meant to be muscular, and Draco was no exception to the rule. But he looked nice, anyways. Pale, smooth, and slim. Her eyes raked over him, and she had to close her eyes hard and give herself a mental pep-talk.

"This is…bad, Draco." She started, opening her eyes again and looking at him.

He sat down in a chair by the wall opposite her, and just nodded.

"We can't we can't we CAN'T do this!" she said, each "Can't" getting a bit louder.

"You were crying." He said. Hermione took a moment to figure out what he was talking about. It wasn't what she expected him to say.

"Yes. Well. I don't know why. You said you wanted to know what I want? Well, what I want isn't important! That's what the real problem is. Even if by some miracle you aren't just using me as a one time fling, even if you don't plan on returning to hating me in the morning…." He looked like he wanted to interrupt, but Hermione continued on, not wanting to hear him say what he wanted to say, "I will regret doing this. We are too different. You are against everything I believe in, and visa versa. I think the only thing we truly agree on in this whole war is that people shouldn't suffer. The way they are suffering. That's not enough. In fact, before Vold- er, whatever, the big bad jackass wizard- came around I would have thought that not wanting people to die was a given for most people, anyways."

She stared at him. "You're in too deep. So am I. If it comes down to it, you'll do what you're ordered to do to save your own ass. If it comes down to it, I would fight anyone- anyone- who came in the way of us stopping him."

"Such a poster child of Gryffindor."

Hermione was surprised at him turning around her own comments about him back at her. Yes, they were both so characteristic of their houses.

"And you just know everything about everyone and everything, don't you, Granger?" He asked, his voice going cold, and somewhat scary.

"What do you mean?' she asked in a quiet voice. Inside, she was screaming, 'Tell me I'm wrong! Explain to me that you won't hate me later, that you were wrong in the past! Tell me you'll come with me, escape from the horrible path you're tied to! Trust me and believe that the good guys can win! Say that you love me…' she thought, surprised at the last part. But it was true, that's what she wanted him to say. All of it.

"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?!" he yelled, blowing up for real for the first time since Hermione had known him. He stood up as he yelled, and Hermione crawled backwards fast until she was almost to the other side of the bed before she knew what she was doing.

Draco's face was red, and he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. In a voice slightly quieter and slightly calmer, he said, "You don't know anything about me, so don't go analyzing me. I was born to be someone big, important. Then came the boy who was famous for doing absolutely nothing but somehow stopped the wizard my family looked up to. And then the half-bloods and muggle borns who were praised by the teachers above me and other's like me. It all made me so angry. I thought that not only was I not being given the attention I deserved, but that in actuality most teachers at that school were against me. Because my family was filled with death eaters."

Hermione just looked at him. He was angry because he thought the teachers and others were not treating him special? Him not being treated as someone worth more made him feel like he had been cheated? How pretentious, to just expect everyone else would think you were better. But then, he had used past tense.

"I just…when I saw what was happening, I thought 'It's all for the overall best,' you know? Like our goals, making sure those who belonged on top stayed there was worth eliminating those who got in our way. It's created a…well, would "witch-hunt' be the right word? Everyone has to prove their blood status, and those who can't have their wands snapped. That wasn't so bad. But when they started shuttling half-bloods off to Azkaban for "stealing magic…" he drifted off. "I guess I can't just sit here and go through everything. There's too much. And I'm preaching to the choir, am I not?"

"Where was the line for you, Draco? When did you decide that it was wrong? How is it that small acts of cruelty and inequality were ok for you, and you accepted it as it built and built? Where was everyone as this all escalated? You can't allow for hate to grow, because this is what ultimately comes of it. All the time." Hermione's face was full of determination. She wanted him to understand. He needed to know that things didn't just start going wrong, that his beliefs had always been inherently flawed. In general, to change someone's worldview was a nearly impossible task. But the seed had been planted; from the moment he discovered he couldn't kill an innocent man for his cause…

"Draco?" she asked, making sure she had his full attention. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, now opposite her. He turned so he was facing her.

"What about me?" She asked. That was what it all came down too. The real reason she couldn't believe in him. She was one of the victims in the world of his "cause," after all.

"What do you mean? I rescued you. Twice." He added, a slight smile appearing against his will. He tried his best to keep looking angry despite it.

"So you don't want me dead? And I think we've established that there are things about me…that you like." She said, blushing, holding the top of the robe closed with her hands. "But what place would I have if the death eaters win? Do you think I belong in Azkaban? Or that my wand should be snapped? Should I be just a servant to pure-bloods? What am I to you?"

Draco sighed, and grabbed his shirt off the floor. "Look, for what it's worth there's no nefarious scheme behind this: I just can't seem to help myself around you. I can't answer these questions. Talking about you, and you only…I just don't know anymore. I'd like it if…if I could stay with you. If things were just normal, I'd probably ask you to...to go to the Yule ball, or go with me to Hogsmead or something like that. But things can't be that way between us."

"You mean…you would want to date me? A serious date?" The corner of Hermione's mouth turned up unwillingly into a slight smile at the funny mental picture.

Draco just stared at her, his shirt back in place. "What kind of guy do you think I am, exactly? Didn't I tell you I didn't want to hurt you, that I wouldn't do anything you didn't want? Haven't I been a perfect gentleman the whole time you've been here?"

"Well, besides the sneering remarks…"

"I wasn't raised to take advantage of girls, Granger. I wouldn't lead you on, and I think what we almost did would qualify as me saying that I like you, ok?"

"I don't know how it happened, but I rather like you too, Draco."

"Rather like?" he asked, grinning. "What's not to like? I'm a perfect catch! Rich, good-looking…"

"If you say 'great personality' you can't blame me if I laugh."

Draco laughed, standing up and adjusting the collar of his shirt. "Yeah, we're both pretty messed up, huh?"

Hermione laughed with him. "That's for sure." She walked around the bed to cut him off before he could walk out of the room. "So what have we agreed on here, exactly?"

"That I need some time to think. And that we are both horrible matches for each other."

"And yet that we both are attracted to each other like peanut butter and jelly?"

Draco snorted a laugh. "What a strange analogy. You're kinda cute, you know?"

There was that word again.