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Disclaimer: I neither own the characters, nor make a profit from this.
Warning: Dark themes (rape, torture, death), malexmale,
A/N: A LONG chapter, finally we're getting somewhere!
I'm sorry the last two or three chapters have been tedious (yes, they have been, don't deny it) but this chapter will hopefully be the last one of those as I'm finally getting back into the style I like. The Dark Lord's so deliciously evil.
(Is it too much to ask you my beloved readers to try and get to 222 reviews before Chapter 22? I don't usually beg but Pretty Please with Sev and Harry plushies on top?)
Hopefully you will enjoy this chapter.
Next update will be in three weeks! Sorry for the long wait Oo (just got a new job . pooh)
Journey on towards the Truth…
…Which is sometimes much harsher then lies.
Chapter 21
SS
Severus was shoved into the back of the mad man's mind, rage building, heaving past him, enveloping him, catching, tearing.
"What did you do?!" The small, lifeless body was pushed away, the limp limbs heavy under the assault. Severus felt the larger form he was in twist, could feel the way it drew itself up, off the bed, towering over the man who had walked in.
Harry.
His mind tried to quell the sudden panic, not wanting the Dark Lord to catch any stray thoughts. What was the boy doing here?! Didn't he know this was dangerous? This could result in death? The fall of the wizarding world? He may not have believed the boy was capable of taking on the Dark Lord, but he had still let some part at the back of his mind place his hope in the boy.
That, maybe there was, a way to defeat this creature he was now stuck in.
"Do you know what Potter just accomplished?" Words in the air, almost a hiss, quivering. "The half breed, dimwitted, little fucking cretin, whose feet are groveled at in misery and desperation." Severus could feel the rage of the other burn through him, only matched by the fear he felt for the young man caught before this mad man.
"No my Lord." Severus heard the hitch in the voice. Knew the Dark Lord had caught it as well.
"Crucio." A hiss which allowed only a brief second before Severus was writhing with the pain Harry too was suffering. Mind tearing itself apart, muscles screaming in protest, chest and lungs convulsing. He felt comforted by the pain, in the knowledge he was suffering alongside the other, that they weren't alone, trapped in the same body, living the same experience.
Before the green faded into darkness.
"Of course you don't my pet." Severus shuddered at the name, the tone. "Because you don't know the games I play with Potter." The huddled figure on the floor, collapsed under pain, flinched as the Dark Lord stroked the raven hair, Severus could feel the strands between his fingers.
Pain punctuated with soft touches, false reassurances.
HG
Hermione crept forward, the darkened hallways now empty of the crowd that had gathered earlier, before the hospital ward. Only shadows now guarded the prone form of her best friend.
No one had gone in or out of those thick wooden doors, after Professor Snape had thrown them wide, Madame Pomfrey following him, to give them a lecture many would never forget, especially Umbridge who had tried to use both her position and a number of threats to shoulder her way in.
"Watch out." She mumbled, eyes darting over the shadows in case anyone had heard her complaint.
"I can't help it if you're walking so slow." The drawl warmed the back of her neck as they shuffled unceremoniously under Harry's cloak.
"Really Draco, if I go much quicker, we'll trip over ourselves."
A smirk in the voice.
"I'm not disregarding your lack of balance, I'm just saying maybe we could go just a little faster."
She huffed, elbowing him just hard enough for him to grunt in response. But she picked up her pace a little, feeling the taller blonde match her strides easily, falling into it as if it were a familiar pattern. She couldn't help feel the small blush on her cheeks, the warmth at her back.
How long had she been crushing on the blonde? Of course she hadn't admitted it, perfectly happy believing she was merely keeping an eye on him, that the close competition between their marks was nothing personal, the fact that his sharp mind and quicker tongue were the only things that got her flustered when they confronted each other.
Of course it was just a bonus that he was good looking too. Well, maybe a little more than a bonus, she smirked, her hand touching the cold bronze door handle of the hospital room, opening it slowly.
"And what do you two think you're doing?"
Hermione jumped, feeling Draco respond to her quick movement. The cloak was whipped off them, clutched in the hand of a very irritated mediwitch, her other hand on her hip as she glared at them.
"Good evening Madame Pomfrey." Hermione tried to hide the roll of her eyes as the blonde placed added charm to his voice. She noticed the Mediwitch hadn't been as successful as her.
"Mr Malfoy, it would prove to be an evening more suited to my liking if I didn't have to guard this door every moment."
"We're only here to see Harry." Hermione added, knowing the older witch had taken a liking to her as she was often in the hospital wing when Harry had been in whatever accident he'd managed to stumble into. She'd even learnt a few healing spells and helped out whenever she could.
"Only here to see Harry? Hnh, you and every other inhabitant of this castle." She moved out of their way. "Better get in before anyone sees you, I've had enough of a certain woman for tonight."
The door closed behind them, and before they could register anything in the dimly lit hospital wing they were brushed into a separate room.
A still, quiet room.
The silence was deafening and maybe that was worse than actual sound. The tight grip on her shoulder, the solid weight at her back held her up while everything inside her fell to her feet.
Heart leaping in her throat as she ducked her head.
She'd seen Harry before in visions, had heard his screams, his pleas, his orders and curses that sprung from his lips. But never had she seen him so deathly still, so pale.
The dark green robes she buried her face into didn't blur the face of her friend.
HP
Harry tried to bite back the hiss at the soft touch, expected the tearing pain, felt bewildered when it didn't come.
"Oh yes, we play fun little games which often revolve around you, Severus."
Harry blinked, words only just starting to form coherent links through the haze of pain.
"And as Potter ruined this game, the carefully set up board I created, we'll have to move onto something a little more interesting. Don't you agree my toy?"
"My Lord?"
"I was hoping to make a major break through Severus," the tone was getting annoyed. "But the boy proves to be tricky, you shall provide the breaking point."
"Crucio."
A scream, crashing into him, out of him, writhing on stone.
Words between the hammering of his heart.
"I've been too lax with you lately Severus." A dark chuckle. "I thought perhaps you would be little more grateful for the life I granted you after your betrayal."
SS
Severus felt himself freeze, the words slashing at him, the hiss weaving around him, stinging.
"Perchance, after tonight you will be more appreciative."
"My Lord?" The voice broken, croaked from the floor. And Severus yelled in his mind at the boy to shut his mouth. They were in danger, standing on the edge of a mad man's knife, waiting for him to pull it out from beneath them.
"My little spy." Severus felt the words slip from his mouth as he chuckled, fingers clenching in hair, pulling the face up. Onyx eyes matched his own, wincing. "You failed to deliver the correct information to that old fool. That Ministry of Magic incident was to have wiped out most of those pesky Aurors, we risked much on that raid."
"My Lord."
Severus felt himself scowl, throwing the other away from him, feeling strands of hair still caught in his fingers. He let them scatter in the billow of his robe.
"There is only one reason I am keeping you alive. For my enjoyment. Remember that Severus."
The curse that slipped from his lips, the green light and the pain that followed wrapped around him and he felt himself pulled violently into darkness. In the first vision he had had, this had been the point where he had felt something pull at him, begging him to come back, until he had escaped this nightmare, waking to the hospital wing.
But this time there was no one calling him, this time he wouldn't leave.
He needed to help Harry.
Save the boy from his mistakes.
HP
Harry felt nothing but the aching in his body, heard nothing but the blood raging in his ears, his muscles twitched, could tasted the copper on his tongue where he must have bitten through.
His breath came shakily at first, before his lungs constricted and he gasped, feeling magic flow through him again and let his body fall into the pattern of pain, repeating.
"Now that your both so pleasantly subdued, I can begin."
Harry would have screamed feeling the heel grind into his ribs, had his throat not been ripped raw.
"You both, I suppose, need an explanation, a confession of sorts." A low laugh, a hiss. "You see Potter, there's a small secret I've kept from you involving your beloved potions professor. Severus Snape…" punctuated with fingers threading through his raven hair again "Severus Snape is nothing more than a rag doll, something for me to play with. His allegiance with the light…" Harry felt shock seared through him, but kept it tightly hidden. "has him running to the beck and call of that old fool. But he is still a puppet on my strings"
Voldemort knew Severus was a spy for Dumbledore?
"You see, in exchange for his life Severus has become one of my favourite toys. The information he receives holds both false and true facets. I let him have charge of which information he tells the old fool."
Harry stared up at the blood red eyes, the pale skin, forked tongue that darted out to taste the air. Felt his whole being shudder.
"Imagine being given a puzzle. There is more than one way to solve it, and each conclusion holds a number of lives in its balance. If you solve it wrong friends, peers, co-workers, innocents will die, if you solve it right a number of them may be saved, depending if it is the right conclusion. But you have to think fast because time is of the essence."
Fangs flashing in a smirk.
"Lives hang on the information he gives. He may prevent a Death Eaters raid, though it may cost casualties, he may save muggles being attacked, he may lead his peers into an ambush, he may allow a Death Eater attack by believing the information given to him was false. It leaves all those he doesn't save, all those he has accidentally led to their deaths through false information, or even correct assumptions on his conscious."
Forked tongue flicking out to taste the air. Harry tried to process this information as the mad man continued.
"All those lives lost… are because of him."
Blood red eyes narrowing in delight, in self-satisfaction.
"The most effective way to break a man is let him pull himself apart."
SS
In the darkness only the words echoed and he could feel hurt, anger, pain, sweep through him. All he had tried to keep hidden from others, from himself, his desperation, his guilt, the screams of his colleagues, of muggles and children wrapped around him. Suffocating.
All his fault.
If only he had been quick enough, clever enough to figure out which was which, what was truth wrapped in lies, what lies were wrapped in truth… he could have saved them all.
HP
"It wasn't his fault." Harry felt the growl escape his throat, felt the anger at what this creature, this monster had done, spread through him. Severus Snape, was not a man to be toyed with, not a man to be tormented like this. He'd suffered enough.
Red eyes widened, before narrowing suspiciously.
"What was that?!"
"It wasn't Severus's fault, you rotting corpse of…" Horror flashed through him, felt his mind being assaulted and he slammed up walls he knew wouldn't save him from what he had revealed.
"Fuck." The small word escaped his lips before his eyes widened considerably.
"Who are you?" The words were almost a hiss, so low Harry flinched, drawing back from the sudden wave of panic. Eyes searching scattered for a way out, his breath caught in his throat.
Walls cracked and sticky fingers probed, thoughts brought to surface.
A deep dark laugh.
"Mr Potter. In the flesh… so to speak."
Red eyes flared.
"This is a pleasure."
SS
Severus felt something was wrong, forced himself out of the screams, broke the surface of guilt, pain and blood.
Those onyx eyes. He stared and felt fear ripple through him, could see the boy who lived so clearly in them, sensed he had missed something important.
"Really Severus, I should have known only you would pull a stunt like that, Potter could never kill an innocent so bloodily. Did you enjoy the warm blood of the small boy on your hands? What did you think when you saw a child so like yourself?" Severus could hear the words that his lips spoke to the open air and he felt himself shudder.
They'd been found out.
They were going to die.
And for some reason he didn't mind.
Maybe death would be peaceful.
"He saved that child. He did something I was never capable of doing." The silky voice, from the young man on the floor, still rough from the pain it had proclaimed. It caught Severus, pulled him away from the thought of the peaceful darkness in death.
"It shows just how wrong you are. He isn't your fucking puppet, he's a human being, something you wouldn't understand. It gives him compassion to save people, even though it means sacrifice, protect those who need it, look out for others. His kind, courageous, and…" Severus floundered confused, what was Potter going on about?
It had sounded so…
"His everything." A confident growl. "And you can't take that away from me."
So sincere.
Severus blinked at the young man's conviction. Tried to find a pattern to the words spoken, couldn't quite believe them. Everything? What did that mean?
A laugh.
"You are forgetting Potter, that your bias clouds your vision. Severus is nothing more than a traitor to the light and a slave, a toy to me. He is nothing."
"That's not true!" Severus saw a flash in the onyx eyes, a determination.
"Not true?" A small secretive smile. "It's as true as the fact you lust after pale scared thighs, raven dark hair, and that small hitch in his throat whenever you enter him. Again, and again and a-"
"Shut up!" A badly aimed kick to his legs and Severus stepped back easily, trying all the while to make sense of the words he had spoken in the mad man's hiss. It must be another game to get Harry riled up, show the boy-who-lived just how stained and broken his Potion's Professor was. It was a double edged blade, piercing into him as well, embarrassing, humiliating the toy that didn't want to play with his master.
Severus felt a chuckle escape his throat. Felt ill.
"Really Harry." He hissed the name out. "I always thought the famed boy-who-lived would have found someone more… substantial, than this broken toy, this nothing."
He felt the stones beneath him shudder.
"He isn't nothing! He's a powerful wizard, a master in the art of potion's making. Sharp, quick, not anyone could infiltrate back into your fold-"
"Potter, please, save your pep speech. He has little power that interests me, his potion's skill is more wasted potential than anything else." A frown. "And do you really believe that after you delayed my rise as the Dark Lord, that the public trial, and the acquittal and betrayal of Severus Snape would be overlooked so easily that he would be accepted back into my ranks? I am no fool like that headmaster of yours. Severus Snape became nothing the very day he denounced his services to me."
"No," There was power behind that one word. "Severus may have exchanged his life to serve under you, he may have willingly excepted your bribes of power and acceptance, but it was a mistake, something he is trying to correct." The young mans body shuddered.
"Realising and wanting to amend his mistakes makes him more of a man than anyone else I know!" Severus could hear the voice cracking as it rose. "It's not his fault if you're a sick prick playing on a man's conscience, he's saved more people then he would have if he hadn't returned to your fold, false information or not. He's a hero."
Severus could feel his lips twist into a smirk.
"A hero? No, my dear deluded child, he is a murderer, a torturer, a servant, a toy-"
Onyx eyes blinked and narrowed.
"No."
The sudden surge of anger in that single word slammed into him.
He staggered back under the force. He could feel the mad man's surprise entwined in his.
Magic.
The same wildness that had possessed him that night in the dungeons.
His mind spun and he tried to breath, choking on darkness, on warmth as it forced itself on him, in him.
Writhing.
Drowning in the familiar feeling, felt himself respond to the wild flow through his mind, but it pushed back forcing him.
Forcing him.
Pushing up he gasped for breath, sitting, shaking, staring.
The hospital wing.
-
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--- to be cont'