I love Edward. He's so… flowery. Yes I said it. I went there bitch. Omg, I just thought of something. What if I were to break up with Edward? Last time I did that he just sat there eating vegetables out of Emmett's laundry basket. I didn't even know vampires ate soup. I didn't think they could eat.
I was wearing my TEAM JACOB t-shirt when I went to meet him. The look on his face was so adorable. He looked like he was going to cry. And then he nibbled my cheek. What a weirdo. So I rubbed it in his hair. He went SCHITZ.
"WHAT THE HELL!" He screamed.
"THAT'S FOR EATING MY CHEEK, YOU BITCH ." I shouted back, shooting him in the armpit. Bright green paint started to drip down.
"Get you pups out," He screamed at me. How dare he! I was so shocked I just sat there wth my mouth open.
"Smoof clee charromp." I screamed just as he stuff my gob with leaves. LEAVES! WHAT THE FUCK!?
"I want to break up with you." I screamed again, so loud my eyeballs went to the back of my head. Its times like this when I wish I had an eye like Mad-eye Moody.
Then he vomited into my shoes. Great big smelly, chunky globs of parsnip and rhubarb. It made me hungry. I love parsnip and rhubarbs. Oh my god! He looks like a horribly demented squirrel! His rabid eyes made me so horny it fuckin' HURT.
"Hey Bella, wanna go get your grub on?" What. The. Hell!
"You're a vampire, you moron." God, he can be so dumb sometimes. He gave me such a confused face. Aw, he looks so adorable when he looks confused.
"You can't eat," I finished.
Next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of the safari desert. WHAT!? Why the hell am I in a desert? Oh cool, there's bright green unicorns. What are they munching on? Mmm, parsnip and rhubarb soup. Yummy.
Ok, so I had better do this whole disclaimer thing. So we don't own any twilight things that Stephenie Meyer does.
I'm so proud:)
Toodles xx