-1A/N: Merry Christmas Eve Everyone! Sorry I didn't post this last weekend .

It wasn't finished and I couldn't get to the net, being the lazy person I am.

NOTE: This has NO Christmas cheer in it what so ever, so if you're into mentions of death, dark thoughts etc at Christmas time, keep reading, if not, wait until after Christmas, yay!

Warning+Disclaimer (See previous Chapters)

Thank you all for your wonderful reviews . You make me very very happy!

I've tried to explain a few things, but I think it's just become even more confusing u.u;

Hope you enjoy it!

HP

Narissa must have felt Harry tense beside her as she looked up, eyes half lidded.

"You see it too, don't you?" The woman sighed against him. "There is so much of her in that boy. Potter really is a beautiful young man. The Goddess has blessed and cursed that child."

Harry cleared his throat uncomfortably, the whole situation seeming surreal.

"But at least he has you to protect him." The grip on his arm tightened as she snuggled in against him, head still resting on his shoulder.

There was a long silence in which Harry wondered if he was suppose to say something in return, but the moment passed and he was left grasping at words which hadn't formed.

He wasn't sure if it was an uncomfortable silence or if he was suppose to take it as a comfortable one.

He shifted and it seemed to break the spell.

Beautiful clear eyes turned to him, "I've missed this." A small frown marred her perfectly formed mouth, her brows drawing close, furrowing the smooth skin. "Missed you. I know it's been hard these last few years with Potter starting school and the Dark Lord reappearing, but you could have come to visit once or twice, you only came when it was your duty, an obligation. I know you see Draco at school, but its still different."

Harry looked away from those eyes, he didn't know this part of Severus's life, how he was suppose to react. The way she was acting… was he suppose to kiss her? Had they been lovers back when they were at Hogwarts? Friends? Had they fought? Was that why Severus hadn't visited them often? Or was it because Narissa was now married? Had he had an affair with her?

For some reason Harry felt a pinch of jealousy, but it was comforted by the fact that he couldn't see Severus being a man to disregard his morals like that.

"Narissa?" Harry jumped as the name was called out, muffled by the thick door to the room, and he blinked owlishly at the woman who snuggled in closer to him.

The bedroom door was opened slowly and a gaze framed with loose strands of silver hair surveyed them from the doorway. Lucius stepped further in the room, silent, and seemingly emotionless to the image they presented.

Harry tried unsuccessfully to edge away from the woman curled up beside him on the bed, arms still loosely around him. Shooting a look at the other man, realising that he was shirtless and just how bad the scene looked. He opened his mouth to explain, but was silenced when the woman next to him sighed into his neck, not even glancing up at her husband.

He felt panic swell through him, trying hard to dislodge the woman.

He didn't even have the energy to stand, let alone fight a pissed off Malfoy, especially Malfoy Senior.

He had to explain before he was turned into something far worse then what could be found in Severus's potions labs. "I…" The words died in Harry's throat when the older man gave him a soft smile.

"I'm glad you are feeling better, by the Goddess you gave us a fright."

Harry bit his tongue to stop his jaw from dropping, especially when Lucius sat down on the other side of him, and brushed a few locks of raven hair behind his ear. He couldn't fight the blush though, and hoped it wouldn't give him away.

The older man chuckled.

"You haven't changed." He took Harry's hand and kissed the knuckles lightly. "But come dear," He spoke to his wife. "Severus needs his rest, it has been years since he has spent the night at the Manor, and we don't wish to seem inhospitable when he has finally returned."

There was a pause in which Narissa looked like she was going to argue, before nodding in acceptance, giving Harry a kiss on the forehead, before she shifted, fabric rustling.

"And the Dark Lord? You won't be leaving again tonight will you?" The worry in her voice was evident as she addressed her husband. "Severus is safe here isn't he?"

The blonde man nodded.

"It was an emergency call by the Rat," There was disgust in the voice as it spoke of Pettigrew. "An initial search of the stronghold was conducted and we've concluded both Potter and Severus have made it safely back to Hogwarts." A sneer. "We just have to wait for them to appear again."

"So Severus is safe?"

Lucius turned his gaze to Harry and it seemed to be searching for something.

"You're safe until you show your face again, I don't know what you and Potter did, and why you've decided to reveal your position as spy in this war by siding with him, but when the Dark Lord recovers…"

He shook his head minutely.

"Goddess be with you. Sleep well." He turned to go but not before his wife paused at the doorway.

"Call us if you need anything Sev, alright?" The blonde woman asked, almost worriedly.

Harry could only nod stupidly.

The woman sighed, her husband at her back.

"And I'm suppose to believe that?" Hands on hips, the voice more concerned then annoyed. "After all these years, have you ever asked for help? Have you ever taken it when it was offered so willingly?"

There was a pause and Harry refused to fill it, he didn't want to ruin Severus's life any more then he may have already and he had no idea what this situation called for.

The pause stretched and he looked away, unable to meet their eyes.

He relented, he had to say something to fill this long pause.

"I'm sorry."

The silence that filled the space after his words was awkward.

A hiccuped sob.

And Harry froze, eyes suddenly lifted by the minute sound as the woman brought the back of her hand to her mouth, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes as she gazed at him, seeing someone who wasn't really there.

"Oh, Severus. I'm so sorry. I've tried so hard, tried so hard to regain your trust."

Harry swallowed in the suddenly full silence.

He watched her watch him, Lucius standing behind her, a hand on her shoulder.

"Perhaps this should wait for another day, when Severus is feeling better."

The woman shook her head, brushing stray droplets that had caught on her lashes.

"No." The voice wavered a little. "If I wait you'll just disappear into yourself again, pretend I'm just another pompous aristocrat someone you have a duty to be seen with, kiss my hand, comment on the weather, on how Draco's doing at school. No feeling."

Her voice broke.

"I never meant for it to happen,"

A whisper.

"I understand why you can't forgive me, but please, just please understand it was an accident." The woman drew in a shaky breath, brushing absently at her eyes again. "I never meant for Tiberius…" She shook her head not meeting his eyes.

"Your brother should still be alive."

Shock and Silence.

Harry felt numb, his mind frozen. He wasn't suppose to know about this.

Pieces fell into place, sharp memories from the night the Mirror of Erised broke, this was all too much for him, he felt guilty for prying into Severus's life, guilty for leading the blonde woman on like this, pretending to be someone he wasn't.

But what was he suppose to do?

He shook his head minutely, looked away from the couple. Unable to respond.

"I'm sorry." He spoke in a whisper, the deep voice carrying. "I need some rest."

He stared hard at his blanket, potion stained fingers interlaced. Not looking up, unable to face the shaking shoulders and the tear stained eyes.

"Come dear." He heard Lucius voice, followed by a strained and muffled sob before the door was opened and closed.

He tried to ignore the guilt that slithered through him.

He didn't fall asleep until the shadows had stretched halfway across the room.

And he dreamt of silver seas and dark storm clouds.

SS

Severus glanced around the dark room, feeling more awake then ever, it was similar to the feeling he had when his body had been flooded with the excess of wild magic the night the Mirror of Erised had shattered under the force of his power.

But it had been Harry who had been caught in the pull this time.

Not only did it raise questions as to how the residual magic had transferred itself to him, maybe as Harry had shoved him from the mans mind, but also how had Harry accessed the power himself? Didn't he, Severus, possess the core of the boy's power?

He shook his head in the darkness, aware, even though he hadn't noticed, that he was alone in the room, the two students having probably been ushered back to their rooms once Poppy had determined he only slept, and needed no direct assistance.

The silence calmed him, the darkness let him relax, half hidden in shadows.

He had always loved the darkness, it was a time he let himself dwell on thoughts that he couldn't face in the day of light. Thoughts, memories that he could let himself remember in the dead of night and pass it off as a waking dream in the morning.

He closed his eyes to a more complete dark, let his mind wander.

Lily.

That dungeon room in his dream.

Harry.

Memories in dreams.

He let his mind wander over the memories his mind had dredged up. Lily had always loved magic not for the power, not for the knowledge, but for the feel of it, the way it coiled up in your belly, sung along every nerve.

The feel that most people never noticed, too busy concentrating on the spell, the pronunciation, the flick of the wand. It had taken her weeks to teach Severus to feel the under current that most people didn't even notice.

That had been their first year, when they'd been partnered up in potions. They'd grown to be close friends. But it had been towards the end of the first year that the trio had formed, when Narissa had finally gotten over her jealousy that Severus, her childhood friend, spent most of his time with a Gryffindor.

It had been an accident that had caused it, a potions accident, Severus couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that his life changed so often through potions, and particular potions accidents, it obviously didn't matter if he was a supposed master of the art.

They'd been experimenting in third year potions, only in their first year, when Lily had tested it. Everything had gone wrong from there, her face swelled up, her fingers grew longer, spindly and she'd turned a peculiar shade of purple. Severus had panicked and run to the only person he thought he could trust.

Narissa had simply scoffed at him, but had come along. She hadn't even lifted an eyebrow when she saw the miserable state Lily had been in, having progressed to burping bubbles through her nose. She'd simply read through the instructions and fixed the potion with a pinch of this and that.

Narissa had always been a natural in potions, Severus had mourned the loss of her expertise when she had told him she hated the practice and would never consider a career in it.

But it hadn't been long after that incident that the three had gone everywhere they could together, and it had lead to their discovering of ancient magic at the end of year three. Ancient magic and the Goddess.

Severus grit his teeth at the memory.

If they hadn't discovered it.

If Lily hadn't studied it, hadn't researched everything she could find…

then she could still have been alive.

His fists clenched a little.

If Narissa hadn't been caught practicing it.

If they could have hid it better…

his brother… his brother would still have been alive.

He bit through his lip and tasted blood.

If he hadn't been the one to first mention it.

If he hadn't been the one to push all three of them to learn all they could…

If he'd been stronger.

If he could've been stronger…

HP

Harry woke to half light, early morning stretching itself lazily across his floor.

He'd woken to a sound, but blinking warily around the room there was nothing unusual about it.

"Good morning!" Harry jumped letting out a startled squawk, covering his mouth quickly. Severus would never have made a noise like that.

Dobby blinked at him with his large lamp like eyes.

"Is Mr Harry-Severus alright?"

Harry let out a breath of relief.

"I'm fine Dobby."

"Good good. Headmaster Dumbledore told Dobby to tell you he said he'd be here tomorrow. He said he couldn't come any sooner, no sir."

Harry nodded at the confusing rambling of the creature, feeling a little relieved that the headmaster would be coming to take him away from this confusing, hidden aspect of Severus Snape's life.

"Thank you Dobby."

The creature nodded, before the blank light disappeared from the eyes and they flickered around the room.

"Has Mr Harry Potter been practicing?"

Harry shook his head.

"No Dobby, I haven't had the time, everything's been a little…" A number of words flooded his mind before he chose the least complicated one, "busy. I've been a little busy."

The creature nodded.

"But Mr Harry Potter should keep practicing. Keep growing stronger, so he can defeat the evil man. The evil man using our Goddesses magic..." Dobby tilted his head, as if listening before giving Harry a hasty but still rather too tight hug before disappearing with a soft pop.

The Goddess? The Dark Lord was using the Goddesses magic? Ancient magic?

Harry shook his head as he heard footsteps pass by the door only seconds after Dobby had disappeared, and he held his breath hoping he wouldn't have to deal with anyone this early in the morning, but they continued by and Harry sighed.

All he wanted to do was hide from the world today and wait for the headmaster.

He pulled the covers up to his chin, closed his eyes and proceeded to do just that.

SS

Severus shook his head.

If he'd been stronger, then a lot of his life would have been different, he wouldn't be the person he was now, for better or for worse.

He sighed, his dream, the dungeon room he couldn't remember flashing through his mind again.

He knew what the dream had been about.

Narissa had been the one to finally find the tomb of ancient magic hidden deep in the shelves of the Black's family library. They had used an unused potions lab under the pretence of working on a potions project.

The girl's had embraced the concept of the Goddess, the ancient magic, they had performed some of the rituals, taken it on as an aspect of their lives, their religion.

Severus, he had always doubted the idea of religion, though he respected it, knew people needed to believe in something, needed faith. But of Gods and Goddesses watching over man?

He doubted their existence, they were alone in the universe, no one watched because if they did, that would mean they cared, and nobody cared about this race, just one of many who would come and go on the face of this planet.

But that didn't mean he couldn't understand the concept. He could feel the magic inside him, understood that everything held an essential core of magic, a life force within them and it was through this that ancient magic, the powerful wave of inner being could be moulded, shaped into something that could be controlled.

That was what the dream had been about, finding the ancient magic, but the destroyed room which he couldn't remember… that scene had held a familiar quality to it.

There had been a time when they had found out Lily was going to be a mother…

Lily had wanted to perform an ancient spell of protection. Both he and Narissa had been against it, they had dabble in the ancient magic, but they didn't have the control or will to be able to master something so powerful.

Instead they decided to perform a protection spell, similar to that which Lily had eventually cast on herself and her son, after they had mastered the technique. The spell was a simpler version, a temporary ancient magic that would protect the caster.

He had woken two days after in St Mungo's, with no recollection of that day or the two that followed. Both Narissa and Lily had been at his side, they had told him they had tried the spell, he being the caster, but they hadn't told him what had happened, they had just looked worried.

"Harry! I've found it." Severus's eyes narrowed as the door was thrown open and the light streamed in.

"The spell I've been looking for."

He blinked and the room was lit up with a small spell. Hermione closed the door behind her, looking exhausted and triumphant.

"What?" Severus couldn't help but stare at the girl who had just burst in for no reason proclaiming something he had no idea about in the middle of the night. Potter had strange friends.

"The spell I've been looking for!" She bounced were she stood. "I've been thinking about it since you had your attack, well, actually since you've been acting funny and I just woke up with it in my head and it's been right in front of me all along!" She dropped the heavy tomb on the bed and Severus recoiled.

It was the same tomb Lily had last used, the one with the spell that had protected Potter from the mad man that had killed his mother. He still regretted his decision in going along with that plan, but he knew it had been what she had wanted.

"I don't know what you're talking about 'mione."

"Why you've both been acting so funny." She looked annoyed. "It's right here, I can't believe you tried it without me. Do you know how dangerous it is? And don't you know you're not suppose to fold pages? It ruins them."

She flicked the tomb over to a folded page.

"Tueri Caputa"

Severus frowned. That was the spell, the one he had tried with Lily and Narissa, he hadn't realised it had been in the same tomb as the one Lily had used later.

"…"

"You've bound yourself to him!" Hermione grinned. "That's why you've both been acting so strange. Why Dobby's called Professor Snape, Harry by accident, he's mistake your magic signatures, because they're combined."

"That's not how the spell works." Severus glared at the page. They had folded that page when they had tried the spell on Severus.

"I know." She grinned triumphantly, "But I also know you. Weren't you flooed to Knockturn Alley because you didn't speak clearly?"

Severus raised an eyebrow in speculation.

"Servus sounds a lot like Severus when you mumble."

Snape blinked.

Servus A bond.

Tueri Protect.

Caputa A persons soul.

"I know how worried you've been about Professor Snape lately, especially with your recent visions and everything you've seen. You've been wanting to do something to help him, but now you've bound yourself to him."

Severus couldn't help but shake his head.

Amazing.

This girl had a sharp mind, but with true Gryffindor style she raced ahead without looking at all the other options.

He frowned, staring at the page, fingers touching the dry parchment and old ink scrawl, should he tell her the truth, or let her believe her own assumptions. Was it his right to tell her? Hadn't he been berating Potter for exactly the same reason that if he told her she would be in more danger.

But they were already found out, the Dark Lord already knew their secret.

He hoped they could survive long enough to get themselves out of this mess.