A/N: Hi everyone, I' m updating now because the next few weeks are going to be hectic for me and I didn't want to leave you all hanging on the edge of your seats. So a nice long chapter (because I promised mactunes).

Warning: malexmale, abuse, dark themes

Disclaimer: I don't own nor make money from these characters.

Onwards to more problems...

HP

Harry frowned as the train pulled into the station. It was King's Cross, and he felt a sudden jolt of panic that the Dursley's were here to meet him.

He frowned, brushing the feeling away. There was nothing to worry about, they wouldn't even recognise him now, if they walked past. He felt a little better getting off the train as he towered over the rest of the populace.

He was spending a summer without the Durley's.

He ran into a man rushing past with a brief case, and dark eyes scowled at him.

Harry blinked, the scowl pushing into his thoughts. Was Snape surviving the Durley's? He would have arrived there late this morning and Harry wondered what his reaction would have been to the small room with the bars on the windows.

Harry liked his room, it was better then the closet, where every step on the stairs had seemed like the roof was going to cave in, where every kick to the door could be felt through the whole cot.

No, his room had seemed perfect. He may not have had much furniture in there, but he had had a cupboard, and the small space beneath the floorboards. And a window! He had spent most of his summers staring out the window, not only did it offer a sense of hope, of something beyond those four walls, but it gave him light, it gave him fresh air when the air in the room grew too stale, too heavy.

But thinking about Snape entering his small domain…

Harry cringed. What would the man say? Harry could picture the room from Snape's perspective, a dark, dank hole in the wall. A dirty pile of rags in the corner, bare floorboards, barred windows.

Harry suddenly hoped it didn't smell too badly in there.

But surely Snape would be able to magic the room into a better shape. A flick of his wand and a comfortable arm chair, a roaring fire place and no bars on the windows. There would be a double bed and an ensuite, and maybe even a separate potion's lab.

The man would have a hundred different wards up, just to stop the Dursley's form suspecting anything. Maybe even a few mind altering spells and they'd forget he was even there.

Harry berated himself for his earlier worries. Snape would survive perfectly fine at the Dursley's.

"Hurry up Harry!" Remus called out, lost in the crowd before him, and Harry dodged a couple and an old woman, with an ease he wasn't used to. It still surprised him the way this body moved, how incredibly tall he felt.

He followed the pull of people, Remus still in sight as they made their way out from the tunnels and into the cool London evening.

SS

Severus tried to gasp for air, but the hand didn't loosen his grip, and he felt his vision waver, the edges fading to black.

Fighting the pull he twisted, bringing a knee into the others crotch, his fingers digging into a pressure point just above the elbow, wrenching his neck from the others grip. He squirmed out from beneath the grunting boy, springing to his feet before the other two could react.

He felt the back at his wall, but kept calm.

If he cried out for help, he doubted the neighbours would do anything, obviously Harry had been forced into this situation more than once. No one had obviously helped him then, Madame Pomfrey's words slipping through his mind, malnourished, badly healed wrist, ribs… and he doubted anyone would help him now.

Besides they might just be drunk enough for him to be able to deal with them.

Severus scowled at the three creatures before him, the one on the floor slowly getting to his feet. How dare they treat Potter in such a way. What they had obviously put Harry through, this room, this humiliation…

Wasn't it enough he boy suffered through the Dark Lord?

Cracking his knuckles Severus let his best smirk drift slowly to his face as the walrus turned to glare at him.

"Dad's going to get you for this! Wait until I tell him." The fat boy's voice wavered at the look in Severus's eyes, before the pig like eyes narrowed into a squint. "I'm going to tell him you did magic." The boy smiled triumphantly. "And you'll wish you were dead after his been through with you. But we still want our fun."

They stepped in closer, almost as one.

Severus noted their position and frowned. It was obvious they had done this before, retreating back to their primal stages to the hunt. They didn't have the skill, he could sense it in their movements, but they did have the experience that made them subconsciously block off their prey's exits.

It was amazing what pure instinct could do.

He lashed out, kicking the taller one's kneecap. And retreated watching him crumple into a pile with a startled yelp. The kick hadn't had the force behind it that he wished it had, but this smaller body didn't have the power he usually dealt with.

"I don't know Dudley. Didn't you say he went to a school for the criminally insane?" The middle boy seemed put off by the sudden attack and Severus frowned at the question.

"Shut up Freddy. I told you his no criminal. He's just a freak with magic. But he can't use his magic." The walrus smirked.

"I don't know, didn't you say he had a killer Godfather or something? The mad one from on the news."

"We got a letter from his freaky friends, the madman's not dangerous, he can't hurt us." Dudley chuckled.

Severus sneered, still watching the three boys. If Sirius knew how Harry had been treated here… They would be in a world of pain.

The taller boy struggled to stand.

"He hasn't done that before."

Severus frowned, wondering just how much Harry had had to go through. He felt a sudden twinge of guilt, realisation that he had been blind enough by his hatred for the boy's father, by his willingness to ignore the fact the boy was Lilly's son.

He should have seen the signs, the quiet nature, the way the boy withdrew into himself, small things that should have led him to the correct conclusion about the boy's home life. Hadn't he seen the symptoms often enough in some of his students?

Slytherin's tended to stick together, but he had come across some children who had been brought up in households were those ideals which kept Slytherin children safe, didn't apply.

Instead he had created a whole world of fabrication about the boy's home life. A lie the boy hadn't refuted.

And that's where it cut into him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived, hadn't asked for help, hadn't even told those close to him, just what he went through. And Severus could understand why, he hadn't been in a situation like this, but he could understand the way your mind could play tricks on you. How you could make yourself believe you deserved this, how you were at fault, that somehow, by taking this punishment you were absolving yourself from whatever you believed you had done wrong.

But Harry hadn't done anything wrong.

Severus scowled at the three youths.

Harry hadn't done anything wrong.

It wasn't the burning magic that coursed through him, it wasn't the darkness he had once been known for, nor the belief that he enjoyed torturing souls. It was his disgust, his self-loathing, his absolute desperation at not having seen, not having been there.

It was the moonlight that had bathed the small pile of rags he had kicked around during his sleep.

The hidden blood stains, revealed in the half light.

It was this growing feeling.

He would make them suffer for what Harry had been through.

HP

"It's not far now." Remus signalled for him to follow and Harry found himself walking in step with the werewolf. "Harry… What I said earlier."

He missed a beat.

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable talking about it."

His step faltered.

Harry's mouth opened and the question came out suddenly as if from thin air.

"Did you and Sirius sleep together?"

Remus stared at him shocked.

Harry felt his mouth snap shut and horror settle into the pit of his stomach. He refused to meet Remus's eyes, even when the tension was cute by a quiet chuckle.

"If the knowledge will make you feel any better. Yes, once long ago."

Harry wondered at the half hidden sadness in the voice. He stared harder at the cement passing beneath their moving feet, his mind still trying to sort out why he had asked the question, what he was going to do with the answer and…

"He understands..."

Harry started, still staring at the ground. The cracks weren't giving him any answers to his own confusion.

Severus Snape.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, but he needed to give some form to his thoughts.

Remus didn't interrupt, didn't ask who.

"He's felt darkness, death, pain. He knows what its like to stand in front of the Dark Lord. He's felt fear, but he's so much stronger because of it. I know people hate him, fear him because of what he is, but to go back, to sacrifice himself like that..."

They walked side by side, still in step.

"Harry, people fear him because of what his done, becoming a spy may help others, but it doesn't omit the fact he has killed and tortured in the name of the Dark Lord."

Harry frowned at the concrete pavement, brow creased, not daring to look at Remus. He felt sick.

"You don't think I know what he's done." Harry's voice little more than a whisper. "What he's been through?"

There was silence at that confession.

"It's just…" Harry turned to Remus almost desperately. "Don't you think he has a chance at redemption?"

Remus blinked.

"Redemption? And who is to give that to him? Society? Wizards? Muggles? The families of those he as killed? His victims? The dead can't talk…" A sad frown. "And even if he received his 'redemption', do you think he would feel free from guilt, from pain, from the consequences he has suffered?"

Harry remained silent.

"Harry, a man is only worth his own forgiveness. People judge themselves a lot harsher than others, but it's this conscience that keeps us human."

The werewolf smiled.

"But yes. He has a chance at redemption… if he believes there is."

Harry dropped his eyes to the pavement again. His thoughts a mess. There had been a personal note to that, almost as if Remus was recounting from previous experiences.

"We're here." The other's voice was soft, and Harry turned in surprise to a simple muggle flat. Remus dug through his pockets. "I didn't give you the keys did I?"

"No." Harry frowned and pulled out his wand. "But why don't you just unlock…"

"No!" Remus snatched the wand from him before he could utter another word. "What did I tell you about magic?" Remus frowned and Harry blinked.

"You didn't tell me anything. I don't know what you're talking about." Harry frowned.

"I didn't tell you?"

Harry shook his head.

"You're underage. And all though this flat is heavily warded it is still tricky to try and dispel those tracking charms which have been in place for years, it wasn't this foolhardy ministry that created that detection spell. And if the ministry finds out anything about this place it could be leaked." Remus extracted the key from his inner jacket pocket triumphantly.

He unlocked the door and ushered Harry in and down the hall still talking.

"And it's not the ministry we're particularly worried about. Any small burst of magic could have the Death Eaters breathing down the back of your neck. The Dark Lord is no longer hiding the fact he has arisen, especially after that fiasco in the Ministry, and not only that. He is going to no lengths to find you. Both of you." Remus made his way further into the house, dumping his bag onto the kitchen table.

He didn't notice the way Harry's steps faltered.

"Both of us?"

Remus nodded. "He's sent out larger numbers of Death Eaters, but they're not attacking and killing, they're torturing and questioning. And the people who have survived say they're looking for both of you. We've manage to throw them of the trail, one of the reasons Dumbledore has been away from the school."

Harry blinked.

"But why tell me all of this now? Why not before?"

"You weren't safe before. Even Hogwarts is no longer safe for either of you."

Harry felt his stomach drop out and he had to clutch at the table to steady himself. Did that mean he couldn't go back? Until the Dark Lord was killed? What if that didn't happen? Did that mean he was trapped here? Without any magic…

"What about Severus?"

Remus frowned.

"Professor Snape?"

Harry blushed at his slip, embarrassed by the reminder that if Snape had been there he would have ripped Harry's tongue from his head for having uttered that name. But the blush quickly disappeared.

"Can Professor Snape do magic?"

Remus gave him an odd look.

"He is even less protected where he is. He's in your body and still under age, the ministry is keeping a closer eye on him. Of course he can't do magic, it would be too dangerous, not only would it alert the Ministry but the Dark Lord could track it without a problem."

Harry missed the last half of the sentence, his heart beating in his ears.

"Are you alright Harry?"

The hand on his shoulder jolted the panic settling in and Harry shook his head.

"We have to go get him."

"What?" Remus looked confused.

"We have to go get Snape." Harry stated a little desperately.

"But we can't Harry, you have to stay here. I'm sure Professor Snape can handle anything on his own."

"No." Harry gripped the man's arm suddenly. "You have to go get him. It's not safe there."

Remus tried to step back but Harry tightened his grip.

"You have to go get him." There was panic in his voice and Harry could feel his chest tightening,his breath getting shorter. What had he done? He thought Severus would be fine, that with a single flick of his wand, the Dursley's would have been taken care of.

But then when he had first entered the word of magic he had thought so himself.

"Harry calm down. Severus is fine."

"You don't understand. You can't let it happen to him."

"Harry. You're worrying me. Just calm down and tell me what's going on." Harry could see the way Remus nose quivered, he could probably smell the panic, the fear on Harry. He just hoped it was enough to mask his guilt, his embarrassment.

"We have to go get him. It's just… I don't want to leave him with the Dursley's." Harry didn't know how to explain it, how to get the hidden message across. It was bad enough that Snape was to find out about his home life. But to have Remus find out as well?

It was his life to deal with, he didn't want others to get involved in it.

"Harry you're not making sense. The Dursley's will be fine, Severus can't do anything to them."

"But you don't understand!" Frustration at his inability to say the words. Tears bit at the corners of his eyes and his mouth opened and closed. What had Severus suffered this last night?!

"Harry." The man's hand on his shoulder did anything but calm him as Harry pulled away violently.

"The Dursley's… the Dursley's aren't nice people. You have to go and get him before something bad happens. He doesn't deserve it, it's meant for me." His throat was raw and he had to try and get Remus to understand.

The man blinked at him, brow furrowing as his mouth slipped into a frown.

"What are you talking about Harry?"

Harry swallowed, trying to calm his thoughts. This was it, he'd have to tell Remus, and if he told Remus he knew the werewolf would tell Sirius, and then things would get out of hand. Harry loved his Godfather, but the man had no sense sometimes, and had a tendency to overreact.

If Sirius knew the headmaster would find out and the rest of the order would find out and eventually everyone would know that Harry Potter… Harry Potter was worthless, useless.

A freak.

"The…" He frowned, not meeting Remus's eyes. He had to gather courage, he took a deep breathe.

"Damn it." Harry glanced up at Remus's outburst. Saw him pull something out of his pocket. "I'll be with you in a moment Harry. Keep that thought, I just have to get this. Order business."

It was a small mirror and Harry thought he saw Tonks in it's reflection, before Remus had fled the room.

He stared at where the werewolf had left and breathed in slowly, letting it out as a sigh of relief. He noticed his hand was shaking, bringing it up to rub his eyes warily. He couldn't hear anything from the other room, but the clock ticked loudly over the kitchen sink. It pointed at Dinner Time.

Harry wasn't hungry. He wondered if Severus had gotten anything to eat tonight.

"Gods, I'm sorry Harry." Remus burst back into the room. "There's been an emergency, an attack and a few members were hit. There's some Death Eater movement going on, I've got to get out there in the field. I should be back in a day or two. There's plenty of food, make yourself at home. And if you need anything desperately you can only contact people through muggle mail, so don't expect an owl or anything." The man was half way out the door and Harry blinked.

"But what about Severus?" He called out a little desperately. They couldn't leave him there!

"I'll have someone check up on him if your so worried. I'm sorry Harry."

The man was gone before Harry could protest. That was the last thing he wanted. To have some stranger from the ministry, or some random order member to check in on Severus, to find him in a state Harry was often treated in.

It would be even worse if it was someone he knew. Molly Weasley. He paled.

But if it got Severus out of there, then he didn't care. He wrung his hands nervously, staring around the unfamiliar kitchen, feeling sick to the stomach and out of place.

Maybe he could go get Severus himself.