Disclaimer: Own nothing, yet again.
Daybreak found the two shinobi in an entirely different setting. They had foregone the cover that the forest had offered and had opted instead to camp right by the road on the cleared plain that sat between the city and the forest. There was almost constant traffic, even late at night, which would probably dissuade any retaliatory attacks, if they could even find the two shinobi. Jiraiya and Naruto, using the paranoia inbred into all shinobi, had diverged, run separate routes, and, in Naruto's case at least, sent Kage Bunshins all over the forest, some wearing a Henge with Jiraiya's likeness, which paired up with Naruto's unchanged clones before scattering from their creator.
When none of the clones were dispelled by force, Naruto dissolved the jutsu.
"We're clean," he said to Jiraiya when he finished sifting through the memories. The sage had nodded, then decided to take first watch. The rest of the night passed without incident and the two shinobi were on the road again fairly early, both eager to beat the rush that was sure to pack the town's streets again. To Naruto's surprise, the streets were fairly empty. It was mostly tourist families doing touristy things, some wearing swimming trunks, which betrayed their intentions to go to the beach. The rest were vendors and shop owners coming to get ready for the coming day.
Thanks to that, they were able to make good time to the Uzumaki estate. When they got there, it was a repeat performance of the night before. Jiraiya and his student stood outside the gate, Jiraiya seemingly at ease with the situation, but for Naruto, it was a different story.
Once again, the swirl of emotions began to roil within him and Naruto suddenly felt rather short on breath and he was perspiring slightly, despite a healthy, salty-smelling, breeze that was coming in off the ocean. Naruto frowned. He could feel his legs shaking, and feel his arms trembling. Was he really that nervous?
Jiraiya smiled in sympathy. He could almost smell how nervous his student was at meeting his mother. It was understandable, though. Naruto hadn't seen her since he'd been born and now he was about to let her into his life once again. On the sage's part, though, he was more angry than nervous. He'd known Kushina, known how much she loved her son, known how she felt about Konoha. For Jiraiya, this journey was as much for Naruto as it was for himself. He had to give himself closure and, to a lesser extent, Minato's memory closure. As the Yondaime's teacher and friend, Jiraiya felt it was his duty to ask the questions that Minato couldn't.
"You alright?" Jiraiya asked Naruto. "We can come back later if you want. Come back when you're more comfortable."
The question seemed to pass in one ear and bleed out the other and Jiraiya was just about to ask Naruto again when the blond shook his head. "No," he answered, voice wavering and faint. "If I don't do it now…" He trailed off and left it open to interpretation.
"You'll never get it done," Jiraiya finished. Naruto nodded, swallowing hard. His hand came up and, to Naruto, it seemed to take an eternity for him to raise his arm that slight distance from his side to the twin gate doors. Finally, he pounded on the door and the hollow booming echoed over the grounds. Soon enough, he heard someone come into the yard.
There was a dull clunk as the bolt on the other side was thrown back. The door began to open, the hinges grinding and creaking as the left door slowly pulled away from its brother. To Naruto, the door opening seemed to take a thousand years, a millennia for him to wonder about what he was going to ask his mom, what she would say, what she looked like, who his father was, who he looked like, and a million other things that all swirled through his head like the eye wall of a hurricane.
The gateman was a middle-aged man with short-cropped black hair and dark brown eyes. He was built rather solidly, something not unexpected of a shinobi, the muscles of his forearms corded and tight. He wore a black turtleneck with long sleeves that stopped halfway down his forearms. Over that, he wore a thin blue vest that seemed to be more of a fashion statement than actually functional, like Naruto's vest, which was currently packed away in his backpack, along with his hirai-ate. Jiraiya had insisted on it even before they'd left Konoha.
"Just so we don't run into any…ah…problems because of a scrap of metal and a vest," he'd said. Naruto had seen his point, stuffing the vest and identifying headband away in his pack.
The doorman blinked, looking from Jiraiya to Naruto and back again. "I'm sorry," he said slowly. "This is private property. The historical mansion is further up the road." He thought they were tourists.
"Oh, so sorry," Jiraiya said with a laugh, "we showed up on your doorstep without warning. But, you see, we had a good reason."
The man cocked an eyebrow and a thrill ran through Naruto as he realized that this unknown stranger was probably some distant relative of his. More than likely a second or third cousin. "Oh? What reason was that?"
Jiraiya's smile remained in place, but his eyes didn't mimic it. They were searching, serious, looking for the slightest out of place reaction. "We're here to see Uzumaki Kushina."
The man blinked, looking surprised, but not unduly so. "Kushina-san? What do you need to see her for?" Naruto and Jiraiya exchanged glances. That response all but confirmed that she was there inside that mansion. Naruto's pulse quickened, pounding hard against his chest like a drummer on three full meals of caffeine.
Jiraiya put a hand on his student's shoulder, both to comfort Naruto and to steady him. It felt like his legs were about to give out underneath him if he didn't have someone to lean on. Naruto felt intensely grateful to his godfather. If it was just him, Naruto knew he would've never been able to get the courage to knock on that door. Give him a horde of enemy shinobi and he'd dive in without a second thought. Put him in front of something like this, and he'd run away screaming. To confront someone that was an integral part of his life yet he'd never seen took a different kind of courage.
"This guy is Uzumaki Naruto."
The man quirked an eyebrow, though neither shinobi could tell if it was in puzzlement or surprise. It was probably a mix of both. "Uzumaki Naruto? I've never heard the name before. What does Kushina-san have to do with him?"
"He's her son."
"What!?" That got a reaction. The man was suddenly bolt upright. "Kushina-san's son!?" Jiraiya nodded. "Impossible. She never had a son, so far as we knew. Who was the father?" The sage leaned in and whispered something in the doorman's ear. Naruto felt annoyance ripple through him. Was Jiraiya really that nervous about revealing who his dad was? The man's eyes got even wider and he stared at Naruto as if he couldn't believe it. "Impossible. Though I can't deny the resemblance. Looks just like him."
"And acts just like Kushina."
The doorman shuddered. "I find that very very unsettling. So, that would make you…Jiraiya of the Sannin?" The pervert nodded. The gatekeeper shook his head again. "Kushina-san's son and Jiraiya of the Sannin. Unbelievable." He suddenly blinked again, as if remembering something. "Oh! Where the hell are my manners? I'm Uzumaki Daisuke." He looked Naruto over again. "I guess we're…cousins?" Daisuke sounded like he was just…surprised by the fact as Naruto was.
"I guess," Naruto answered, though his voice gave no doubt about who he was really there to meet.
Daisuke seemed to pick up on it. "I guess I'm really not the person you want to see huh? Well, come on and we'll take you to see your mother." He turned and led the way into the compound. Naruto looked up at his sensei, suddenly uncertain.
Jiraiya nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. Naruto took a deep steadying breath before taking a few steps inside the gate. Naruto was struck by the ordinariness of it all. It was nothing like the rigid coolness of the Hyuuga mansion, or the icy organization of Yoritomo…Ren's place in Lahan. This actually looked like a bright place to live. The grass was short, soft, and well-kempt, the sun warming everything around the compound. Black mulch trimmed the bottoms of the walls, from which sprouted small trees. The center of the compound held a pagoda, which rose high above the walls. The tops of the tiers in the building were crowned by red lacquer tiles. Around the pagoda, in a broken square, were low one-story buildings, probably rooms and such, with more of the same inside the pagoda.
"We're not a large clan," Daisuke explained. "No more than thirty or forty of us. Not so large when compared with larger clans like the Uchiha or the Hyuuga. This pagoda is more for training and a place to hang out more than a clan residence." He shrugged. "Still, it's nice enough I guess."
"Is my mom here?" Naruto asked. If this was just a place to hang out, then Uzumaki Kushina could be anywhere and he would never find her.
"I think she's here," Daisuke answered. "She normally hangs out here all the time, cleaning, taking care of the little ones, that kind of thing, while the rest of us try and keep the rebellion under control."
"The rebellion?" Jiraiya asked. "Is it that bad?"
Daisuke shrugged. "Not really, but since we're really the only big group of shinobi in the city, whenever they attack here, we have to do something."
"They attack here?" Naruto prodded as they passed a section of the broken square of buildings, heading towards the pagoda.
"Sure. The city is packed with people that have a whole bunch of money for their trip. The rebels target them and use it to finance whatever they need to." He frowned. "It didn't used to be like this, but a few months ago, they suddenly got…aggressive. We have no idea what's going on with them because whoever the leader is, he's really good at tracking down spies. All the sleepers we had inside the rebellion have been exposed and killed."
"Any idea who it is?" Jiraiya inquired.
Daisuke shook his head. "None. None of the spies got a description of the leader before they were killed." They were at the pagoda. Daisuke slid the doors aside. Inside was a darkened interior, with a raised stage at the other end of the square room. Pillars rose in two rows on the left and right sides of the pagoda. When Naruto looked up, he realized that the interior was hollow, the floors above had their centers cut out, so, except for the ground floor, each story was a square doughnut.
"Why's it like that?" Naruto asked.
"Why not?" Daisuke asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jiraiya and Naruto blinked, but decided to let it go. They hadn't come to question the architecture of the buildings.
"Daisuke," said a voice. Naruto's heart lurched as looked for the source, thinking it was his mother at first, but then he brought himself down off his high when he realized that it was a male voice. It was an old man, previously unnoticed, who was sitting over by a huge easel on the stage, writing what looked like calligraphy, or maybe it was an ink painting. Naruto couldn't tell in the gloom. "Who's that you've got?"
"Ah, Jiraiya of the Sannin and…Uzumaki Naruto?" Naruto's name was spoken with a question mark, as if Daisuke still wasn't sure of just who Naruto really was.
"One name I recognize," said the old man as he stood. He reminded Jiraiya of Fukasaku, the toad elder that Jiraiya had to use to Sage Mode. He was bald, except for gray hair that clung stubbornly to the back of his head, and only came up to about Jiraiya's armpit. He was swathed in orange robes that kind of resembled Kage robes. His dark, narrow eyes were full of warmth and wisdom, though Jiraiya had seen enough old farts (like himself) over the years to know that there was great power behind those eyes. This old man had probably seen a ton of battles and had the scars to prove it. "I am Uzumaki Odin."
"Odin?" Jiraiya repeated, "Sorry for saying so, but that's an odd name."
Odin laughed, a reedy, creaking noise, but a warm one. It seemed another trait with the Uzumaki that Naruto shared was their warm smiles and love of laughter. "You might say that, but it's the name of some god of wisdom. No idea what culture it comes from, but it's a nice name I think." He walked over to Naruto. Jiraiya was struck by how easily the short man moved. Jiraiya had to work out relentlessly to keep what little mobility he had. To see this short man, who looked like he hadn't worked out in years, moving so easily…well, it made Jiraiya jealous to say the least.
"So," the elder said, "you're an Uzumaki, huh?"
"Ah…yeah," Naruto answered. "I guess my mom's name is Uzumaki Kushina?"
"Kushina-chan?" The old man stroked the scruffy goatee that crowned his chin. "Didn't know she had a kid. Where're you from again?" Odin stopped, thought over his words, then waved it off. "Never mind. If you're traveling with Jiraiya of the Sannin, I think it's pretty clear that you're from Konohagakure." He peered closer at Naruto's face, as if he had a hard time seeing it. "Now that I think on it…you look like the Yondaime Hokage."
"You knew the Yondaime?" Naruto asked, incredulous. He'd always heard glowing stories about the legendary hero, but had never met anyone outside of Konoha who knew him.
"Knew him? Ha! I saw him in action once! Thought we were screwed with the amount of shinobi we were facing, but the Yellow Flash just busted out those fancy kunai of his and the next thing I know, enemy shinobi are falling left right and center and no clue that they were dying." Odin seemed lost in his memories for a second before Daisuke coughed and brought him out of it. "Wha…!? Oh, yeah. Kushina! Dunno if you're her kid or not, but she should be around. Wait here and I'll go and get her."
The wizened old shinobi strode away from the room, vanishing through a side door that Naruto hadn't noticed earlier. Despite himself, he brought a thumbnail to his lip and began chewing on it, a habit he'd never had, which spoke volumes about how nervous he was.
'Just a few minutes,' he told himself, that hurricane of emotion that had been battering his psyche at odd intervals returning with greater than ever force. 'Just a few more minutes and I'll get to see my mom for the first time in twenty one years.' Daisuke seemed to pick up on Naruto's nervousness.
"You've never met Kushina-san before?" he asked. "When she's your mother?"
Naruto frowned, resentment spearing through him for a second. "I know. There was a…problem when I was just a baby and for whatever reason, she left Konoha before I even had a memory of her." Daisuke seemed to know what that problem was, but didn't say anything about it.
"That doesn't sound like Kushina-san," Daisuke replied seriously. "She does a lot of pointless things, but when it comes to her family and friends, she never does anything without a reason." Naruto was spared answering but the sudden sound of footsteps behind the door Odin had vanished through.
"Won't you even tell me who it is!?" A voice said indignantly. "Seriously! You come barging into my room and suddenly tell me that an old acquaintance of mine is here to see me, then suddenly expect me to drop everything I'm doing to go see him?" The voice was talking a mile a minute, rapid-fire chatter Naruto had thought only Sakura and Ino were capable of when they were sharing the latest gossip with each other.
Palms sweaty, his cerulean eyes flickered over the door, then to Jiraiya's face. The sage caught the look and nodded, mouthing "Kushina". The door Odin had vanished through earlier slid open and Odin emerged into the room. Naruto's heart began pounding in his throat.
Time froze as a second foot appeared through the door.
It was followed by a woman's figure, then her face. The woman's face was young-looking, no older than her mid-forties, but she looked younger, her red hair still vibrant, only a few strands of gray visible, her face only betraying a hint of wrinkling, mostly around her mouth and eyes, which told Naruto she smiled and laughed probably as much as he did, though her face right now as a mix of puzzlement and annoyance.
Her red hair stopped just above her hips. She was slender, still picturesque despite her age, her green eyes focused on Odin. She didn't seem to have noticed Jiraiya and Naruto standing there, though the blond jounin knew it was only a matter of time before she spotted them.
"Kushina," Jiraiya murmured. Naruto didn't miss the clenching of the sage's fist. The old man wasn't pleased about something and it didn't take a genius to figure out whom it was he was mad at. Naruto didn't really feel anything. He was too busy being numb at finally seeing his mother's face. He suddenly realized how much he'd longed to see her face, hear her voice, to know that he had a mother. There were days that he just doubted that he'd even had parents.
Odin stopped and nodded in the direction of the two Konoha-nin. Kushina stopped her tirade, so reminiscent of Naruto, and looked over. Time slowed to a crawl as her vivid green eyes, just as startling as Sakura's, panned over Jiraiya. Naruto saw the recognition bloom, saw her mouth his sensei's name, but he never heard the words. Finally her jade gaze swept over him and her eyes went even wider.
She broke away from Odin and began to approach the pair, her eyes roving over Naruto, taking in his flaxen hair, vivid cerulean eyes, and the rest of him. She mouthed another name, her eyes momentarily clouded by confusion, then her eyes found the six whisker marks on his cheeks. She blinked, still confused, stopping only feet from him.
Naruto saw realization dawn on her. There was a funny rushing noise in his ears, but it didn't prevent him from hearing. Time sped back up to normal speed right as Uzumaki Kushina's mouth opened. She, some part of Naruto's mind noted, smelled like a grove of Sakura trees.
"N…N…Naruto?" Kushina stuttered, slowly saying her son's name as if she'd never heard it before, or at least, not addressed to him. She was stunned, the blond could see that right away. She didn't know what to make of this. Her son, whom she hadn't seen in twenty years, had suddenly just popped up on her doorstep with no warning. "Is…is it really you?"
Naruto had mentally composed a thousand different responses for the moment he would meet his mother, ranging from humorous, to sarcastic, to angry. All of them flew right out the window the moment she said his name. In that instant, Kushina went from being nothing more that a question in Naruto's mind to a living, breathing person.
For once in his life, Naruto was at a total and complete loss for words, a real rarity for him. Kushina's eyes glistened with unshed tears, threatening to spill. "Are you really…Naruto?" She asked, almost pleading.
Naruto tried to give her one of his fox-grins, but his face was paralyzed. A sharp elbow from Jiraiya jolted him from his stupor. He struggled for words, but finally decided on something simple. "Hi…Mom." He said finally.
He was suddenly strangled as Kushina lost all control, bawling like a baby as she flung her arms around her son's neck and hugged him tight, crying hysterically, soaking his orange shirt with moisture. Naruto was finally unable to hold himself back and burst into tears himself, hugging his mother to him as they both sank to their knees, sobbing their hearts out. Naruto still had a ton of questions to ask his mom, but for now, they could simply enjoy their reunion.
Odin jerked his head at Daisuke and the two other Uzumaki left Naruto, Kushina, and Jiraiya alone on the ground floor of the pagoda, at least until they were less emotional. This was a private matter and something the other members of the clan didn't need to be intruding on.
Finally, after a timeless time, Kushina and Naruto broke apart and got a good look at each other. They searched each other's faces, staring hungrily, as if they'd never get enough. Kushina was the first to rise, dusting herself off. "Jiraiya," she said finally, acknowledging the sage for the first time.
"Kushina-chan. It's been a while."
Kushina's voice was soft, gentle, and hearing it jarred something in Naruto's memory. He had a sudden flash of a pair of smiles, one like his, the other was cheeky, like it would prank you, but kind and loving at the same time. The smiles were followed by flashes of hair, vivid red, his mom's, and a brilliant flaxen, which could only be his father's. Naruto blinked. Where had that come from?
He stood, drawing his mother's attention back to him.
"Naruto…" she said, looking like she was about to cry again.
"I…I have so much I want to know," Naruto said feebly, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that this woman was his mother. Not someone else's, not Sakura's mom, not Tenten's, not Sasuke's. This was his mother! And that brought up a distinctly unhappy thought that made the warm feeling that had settled in his gut after finally meeting Kushina. "Why?" That broke the dam that held back all the anger and resentment that he'd held against his parents for abandoning him. He'd decided to be neutral. He'd sworn he wouldn't get mad. And Naruto didn't get mad.
Naruto was livid.
"Why!?" He demanded roughly, sharply, his voice challenging.
"Naruto?" Kushina asked, confused. Jiraiya remained silent, reaching into his gi and pulling out a small square of paper with the kanji for Seal written on it.
"Why did you abandon me!?" His voice was only a few steps below shouting. "You and dad both, who ever the hell he was! Do you two know what I've been going through!? Do you know how much hatred I had to put up with!? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I NEEDED MY PARENTS!?" Naruto's anger was so intense that he felt the youki within him begin to move, the primal nature of the demon chakra intensifying his emotions.
Kushina recoiled as her son's eyes bled from the blue that was so reminiscent of his father the Yondaime, to the cat-like crimson that was associated with Kyuubi. "Naruto…I…Calm down…please!"
"Calm!?" Naruto shouted, his whisker marks thickening, blackening. The youki hadn't bubbled out of his skin yet, but he could feel it, burning just below the surface, like a volcano waiting to erupt. He could feel the Kyuubi trying to shove the youki back behind the seal on his stomach, but Naruto was too pissed, his emotions too powerful. The Kyuubi couldn't shove away what Naruto had already drawn on. "You abandon me, don't even help me when I needed someone the most, and then expect me to be calm!?"
Naruto's canines sharpened into fangs, a thin haze of red light beginning to crawl over his skin.
"Naruto," Jiraiya said warningly, the hand with the paper seal twitching nervously.
Kushina looked horrified, unable to say anything in the face of her son's sudden rage. "Naruto I…" She seemed about ready to explain, but trailed off. Tears again beaded in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Naruto, I really am."
"That's all you can say?" Naruto demanded, his voice a dangerous purr, eyes flashing, faintly glowing in the gloom. His hand was clenching and unclenching, his fingernails no longer nails, but claws. "TWENTY-ONE YEARS OF LEAVING ME ON MY OWN AND YOU CAN ONLY OFFER ME A FUCKING APOLOGY!?!"
A hot wind swept the room, kicking up the dust that sat in the corners, youki finally bursting through Naruto's skin, shrouding him in the Kyuubi's Cloak, two tails waving in the scalding breeze. "For years I've wondered," Naruto growled, his voice low and slightly bass, "who my parents were. I always believed that there was a slight chance that, despite having the fox inside me, you would've loved me all the same. To find that you abandoned me, left the village, and have been living here the entire time…" Naruto took a deep breath to steady himself, but despite his trying to calm down, he ended up shouting again. "IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS WRONG!! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! I DON'T CARE WHO MY FATHER IS ANYMORE! ERO-SENNIN AND BAA-CHAN ARE MY MOM AND DAD! I HAVEN'T NEEDED YOU TILL NOW AND I STILL DON'T!"
Before either Jiraiya or Kushina could react, Naruto whirled and lunged at the flimsy slider doors behind him, crashing straight through the fragile doors, the heat of his youki briefly setting the rice paper aflame as he charged down the gray marble path, leaped the wall, and streaked away over rooftops of the village, heading for the city.
"Naruto!" Kushina called, feeling her heart, which had been hollow for so long, begin to break all over again, just as it had the night the love of her life had died, and the son they both loved so much was made into a Jinchuuriki. "No, Naruto." She collapsed again, sobbing, murmuring her son's name all over again. She stood suddenly, tears still streaming, but a determination that just like her son's shining in her eyes. "I'm going after him."
She made to dash after her son, but Jiraiya's hand on her shoulder stopped her.
"Jiraiya!"
"Let him be," Jiraiya said, unusually serious. "Naruto didn't do anything more than yell this time, and considering what his mental state must be right now, I'd say that it's a pretty good thing."
"Was that…Kyuubi?" Kushina asked, still shaking from the murderous look in her son's eyes.
"It was."
"What happened to Minato-kun's seal?"
Jiraiya smiled grimly. "It doesn't matter. Kyuubi is stuck inside Naruto for all time. I don't know how, but somehow, Naruto is the seal now. Just by living he keeps the Kyuubi locked up, unlike before where the Kyuubi could possibly break free. As far as I can tell, it's impossible for the fox to break out, because it'll kill itself in the process. Besides, it appears that Naruto and the demon have made some kind of pact. Kyuubi won't try to usurp Naruto's control in exchange for Naruto not dying. To that end, they will cooperate and fight with each other." Jiraiya frowned. "I'm still not comfortable with it, but I can't deny the results."
"What results?"
Jiraiya looked Naruto's mother right in the eye. "Your son used his pact with Kyuubi to take down Orochimaru." Kushina blinked.
"Impossible!" She cried, not believing it. "How could he do it when even you and Tsunade-chan had trouble with him!?"
"Never mind that," Jiraiya said gravely. "Naruto did have a point in his little tirade. Why did you abandon your own son when he needed a mom the most? He doesn't know you like I do, Kushina-chan. I know you would've taken care of him the way he should've been from the very beginning." The sage glared at the woman. "You owe an explanation."
Kushina rubbed her arm, green eyes downcast. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not the one you should be saying that to."
The kunoichi flinched. "I know. And I know it's not enough. I'm never going to be able to make it up to him." She looked at Jiraiya, looked him straight in the eyes. "I abandoned Naruto. I know that. I hated myself for it. I still hate myself for it and Naruto's anger just makes it that much worse." She went to the upraised stage at the other end of the room and sat down on it. Jiraiya sat next to her.
"There's no explanation for what I did to him," Kushina continued. "But…I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm not sure you can understand it, but in one night, Minato-kun was dead, many of my friends were killed in the Kyuubi's attack and my son…" She broke down, sobbing, but it wasn't about Naruto's hash words. "I saw my son as a demon!" She shouted, her voice filled with self-loathing, and self-hatred. "God help me, I saw my son as the Kyuubi that night! I didn't see Naruto I saw Kyuubi! I saw Kyuubi and I blamed him for everything! Minato dying, my friends…everyone…" She broke down in to hysterical sobbing. "I wanted to…to kill him." Her hands, resting in her lap, were clenched together, her knuckles bone white as she trembled.
"Is that why you left?" Jiraiya asked softly, all his anger at Kushina leaking away in place of pity.
Kushina, eyes red and bloodshot, nodded weakly. "I…I wanted so bad to kill Naruto. My baby. What kind of mother am I!?" She shrieked. Before Jiraiya could answer, she plowed ahead. It sounded like she'd been storing this up for years. "I...so I left. I felt like I had nothing left. The love of my life was dead and my son had been replaced by a demon that looked like him. I felt like I had nothing left."
"What happened after that?" The sage prodded. He wasn't mad at Kushina anymore. Despite himself, he couldn't get mad. Naruto's mother looked so pathetic, so pitiful, a total contrast to the fiery and feisty woman he knew so well, that it just tore at his insides. Jiraiya had always been bad at comforting others and this time, he felt more lost and confused than ever.
"I was well on my way back home when I finally calmed down and got my head on straight. But I couldn't come back. If I came back to Konoha…I didn't…" She trailed off, hiccoughing.
"You didn't know what you would see in Naruto. You didn't know if you would see your son or the Kyuubi." Kushina nodded.
"The shame too," she added. "I was just so ashamed of how I acted that I just ran from it."
"Uzumaki Kushina, running from a problem? Is the sky falling too?" It was a weak attempt at humor, but it did make Kushina's mouth quirk up slightly.
"What kind of mother am I?" Kushina whispered, still mortified at her behavior from years ago. "What kind of mother abandons her own son?"
"You're only human," Jiraiya said bracingly. "Yes your actions were not your best, but just being human means you'll make some inappropriate decisions, some selfish decisions, things you'll regret for the rest of your life. Like me."
"Huh?"
"I wasn't any better, Kushina-chan. I'm Naruto's godfather. You and Minato were so thrilled to appoint me as a godfather, but I abandoned Naruto too. I left the village, hunting Orochimaru and spending time writing trashy novels, all because Minato's memory haunted me like a ghost in Konoha. Everywhere I looked, I saw some little reminder of him. When I came back, Naruto was twelve or thirteen. When I saw him…I couldn't believe it. It was like Minato was back from the dead." Jiraiya looked at his feet, speaking more to himself than to Naruto's mother. "I felt even more guilty, but I couldn't believe how well he turned out. He'd been oppressed and ostracized, but he held his head high and faced the world with a sunny smile on his face."
"What did you do?"
"I decided to make it up to him," Jiraiya answered. "I would train him, educate him in things that others couldn't, and watch over him, just as I should've from the beginning. It took everything I had to tell Naruto I was his godfather to his face and I only managed that before we got into town. It took me eight years to admit to him that I should've been there for him and I wasn't."
"Have you made it up to him?"
"Of course not. I'll never be able to make it up to him. I look at Naruto like my own grandson. As long as there's breath in my body, I'll never be able to make it up to him. Naruto…could burst through that door and take my head off and I would be happy."
The two lapsed into silence.
"How do I make it up to him?" Kushina asked finally. "I feel still feel horrible after all of this. I have nightmares about it and he's never very far from my thoughts. Him and Minato both and the what-ifs that come with it. I want that feeling to go away. I don't want to keep living with this shame."
"Do you mean that?" Jiraiya returned. "Do you truly feel sorry for what you've done to Naruto?"
"Of course!" Kushina shouted, leaping to her feet. "What kind of heartless bitch do you think I am!?"
"It's probably better if I don't answer that," the pervert answered, totally serious. "But, just by feeling remorse for your actions and wanting to apologize, you've taken the first step. I'll be honest with you Kushina-chan. What lies ahead is a long and difficult road and Naruto might not be especially receptive, especially right now. The key is that you never give up. I don't know how you'll make it up. You might never make it up or you might do it tomorrow. I can't tell you that. What I will tell you is that if you try and decide half-way through that you don't want to do it anymore and played with Naruto's emotions as a result…" Killing intent washed over Kushina, making her shiver. Jiraiya's killing intent was rarely seen by anyone, but it was terrifying when it was unleashed. "I'll kill you myself."
Kushina grinned, her old self coming back into place. "You don't need to worry, Jiraiya. When have I ever done anything halfway?" She turned for the door, sprinting into the light and dashed away, following after her son.
Well, Kushina's finally in the picture! Yay! Or maybe not. After all, she did abandon her own son. But before you start bashing her, try to put yourself in her shoes. Your lover's dead. Most of your friends are dead, your village is on fire and trashed, and you see your son as a demon. What would you do in that situation? Kushina isn't a perfect person. She made stupid decisions and now it's caught up with her. Naruto didn't act like a perfect son either this time, yelling in her face and leaving in a rage before he let her explain herself. So yeah. Just try to be empathetic before bashing Kushina, that's all I ask.
Later,
~WingedFreedom622