Disclaimer: I still own everything. If you want to own it then too bad. It's mine
Corporal Cabbage: I have great news, Captain Carrot!
Captain Carrot: What is it, Corporal?
Cabbage: You've been promoted to Colonel! *salutes*
Colonel Carrot: I am now in charge of you! Mwhahaha!
Cabbage: Sir, you already were in charge of me.
Carrot: Not the point! Now, where is the story we wrote?
Cabbage: We haven't written it yet, remember? We decided to do it later!
Carrot: Is now later?
Cabbage: Yes! Now is Later! Because later is now Now which is not earlier!
Carrot: Huh?
Cabbage: Let's write!
Carrot: Let's write indeed! *long pause* Wait! Does writing actually involve…dare I say it…the W word?
Cabbage: Writing involves work, Carrot.
Carrot: *anguished cry of despair* Nooooo!!!! Work!!!! You said the W word!
Cabbage: *rolls his eyes* Fine, I'll write it myself.
Carrot: *grins* Splendid idea! You can write it and I'll take all the money and credit for it. This is the beginning of a beautiful partnership!
Cabbage: A what?
Carrot: You got the word!
Cabbage: Word?
Carrot: Yes, the word!
Cabbage: What is the word?
Carrot: The word is the word that you just said again!
Cabbage: The?
Carrot: No!
Cabbage: Word?
Carrot: No!
Cabbage: What is the word?
Carrot: Yes, you have it for a third time! Hahaha!
Cabbage: *mumbles to self* What did I say?
Carrot: Once again you have said it!
Cabbage: *irritated* Let's just write!
Carrot: *sits and waits*
Cabbage: What are you waiting for?
Carrot: For you to finish writing of course! How am I supposed to take all the credit for your accomplishments if you don't accomplish anything?
Cabbage: Good point.
Carrot: Of course it is! Start writing the story!
Cabbage: What should it be about?
Carrot: Write it about you!
Cabbage: Okay…*starts writing* I am a Corporal. I am a Cabbage. I like the letter C. I am a genius. Colonel, does this have to be accurate?
Carrot: Of course!
Cabbage: Good. *continues writing* I am a super genius. I am smarter than the Colonel and I deserve his rank and he's stupid. Okay, done!
Carrot: Good! Publish it and give me all your money!
Cabbage: That sounds more like robbery to me.
Carrot: Silly Corporal! I'm higher rank than you. That means: I can confiscate anything I want and I can take credit for anything you do as long as it profits me! It's in the manual.
Cabbage: There's a manual?
Carrot: Um…actually, there isn't, but there will be! I'm writing it!
Cabbage: But that involves work, sir.
Carrot: Awwww!!!! Don't use that foul language around me, Cabbage, or I'll make your career into a stew! Cabbage stew!
Cabbage: People like carrot stew better.
Carrot: Lies! All lies propagated by the enemy!
Cabbage: But I'm the one saying it.
Carrot: You've been propagated! Their propagated propaganda is wearing down at your very essence!
Cabbage: Meaning?
Carrot: *takes the paper* Meaning I'm a genius! Let's go publish it!
Cabbage: I think it is a really short book.
Carrot: *reads it* Cabbage, you have misspellings everywhere!
Cabbage: Where?
Carrot: *points to the paper* You misspelled my name! You put Cabbage instead of Carrot and put Carrot where Cabbage should be! For a writer, those are pretty amateurish mistakes to make!
Cabbage: *stares* Naturally. I mean, what else could it be?
Carrot: Precisely! Now, I'll fix the mistakes, *fixes them*, and I'll go get this published.
Cabbage: Who is going to publish something that short as a book?
Carrot: Me!
Cabbage: How?
Carrot: Well…on second thought, that sounds like the W word, so I'm going to let you publish it!
Cabbage: I don't know how to publish books!
Carrot: *shrugs* Oh well. We tried. *tosses the book over his shoulder*
Cabbage: What do you mean we tried?
Carrot: We're officers. We don't have to put forth any effort in anything. Man, this writing thing sure is tiring!
Cabbage: I'm the only one doing any work so far!
Carrot: That is not true!
Cabbage: Name one thing you've done so far to contribute to this book!
Carrot: I ordered you to write it!
Cabbage: I'm sure that was very taxing on you.
Carrot: Oh it was! In fact, I think I'm going to make another order!
Cabbage: Oh boy, what is it?
Carrot: Get me a cupcake!
Cabbage: A…cupcake, sir?
Carrot: Cupcakes! Get me a cupcake with sprinkles!
Cabbage: You ate the last one yesterday.
Carrot: Oh…oh well. I'm tired from all these tough orders I've been giving out! I'm taking a nap! *falls asleep standing up*
Cabbage: I'm supposed to follow the colonel everywhere he goes, so I guess it's time to go! *falls asleep and falls over onto the ground**mumbles in his sleep: no more books!*
Read and Review! Despite what most people think, it's not easy to write this stuff.