Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of literature to all those poor unenlightened fellow man out there. I am making no profit from this.

Pairings: 2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

Summary: Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

Roommate: Unwanted

Chapter Two: An Unexpected Caller

"Heero Yuy. Not home. Not dead. Leave a message." Beep.

"Heero! This is Quatre, pick up the phone."

Click. "…Yes?"

"You might want to tidy up your home and prepare the guest room."

"…My house is always tidy. Why the guest room?"

"You'll see. Bye!" Click.

Heero blinked at the phone, then put it down and glared at it. Quatre was up to something.

He considered and discarded various plans of action, then decided to simply ignore the blond's cryptic call. He headed back towards his study, slightly irritated, but just as he put his hand on the doorknob there was a weird dinging noise.

Blinking, he paused, cocking his head to one side and listening hard. Shrugging when the sound didn't repeat itself, he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

He was one step into the room when the sound came again.

"What the hell?" he muttered, turning around to survey his apartment. Did he install some proximity alarm thing and forgot to remind himself? No, he was being stupid. Yet there was nothing out of the ordinary, so what… oh.

He had a doorbell?

Yes, now he remembered… he'd personally removed the one left behind by the previous owner, but Quatre had come by one day with some guy in tow and cheerfully ordered the thing installed. This had happened once or twice more, when Heero had removed the newly-installed ones, too. Quatre just came by again, tenacious bastard that he was. He hadn't been dissuaded when Heero had told him it was of no use; he hadn't had visitors ever since he'd moved into the apartment -- the neighbours had gotten The Glare during the first few days and stayed away after that. Well, no visitors if you didn't count Quatre and Trowa, who knew where the hidden spare key was and didn't bother ringing, so this couldn't be either one of them. It was no wonder he'd promptly forgotten the dratted thing's existence.

The annoying noise came again, and Heero decided to get rid of the stupid bell first thing tomorrow. This could only be a salesman, he decided. He hated salesmen. And he knew one most effective way of getting rid of them, like he had the previous ones (they had all knocked, since there wasn't a doorbell).

Pinpointed pressure on the right spot on the floor caused a panel to slide open, and without bending over he used his foot to flip the gun up into his hand. Another press of his foot, and the panel slid back shut as he walked over to the door. Unbolting and unlocking it, he swung it open and immediately levelled the gun at the intruder's chest, tilting his head up slightly to glare at the other man. He hated his Asian genes; he was so much shorter than most Americans, and people kept trying to intimidate him. The fact that they'd all ended up half dead wasn't the point.

"Ah…" Wide eyes blinked at him, glanced down at the gun, then went back to meet his gaze again. Those eyes were violet, he realized. Amazing shade, really, and from what he could tell they weren't contacts. "Do you do this often?"

"…Are those contacts?"

"What?"

"Your eyes."

The eyes in question crinkled with laughter. "Most people go 'what's your name or 'who are you' or even a rude 'go the hell away', but nooooo, you go, 'are those contacts'? Man, you are weird."

Heero's own eyes narrowed. "Knowing your name is useless to me, since I will not be seeing you for much longer. Knowing if your eyes are naturally that colour is a point of interest, and therefore a better question than 'what's your name', since I could care less."

His words met with actual laughter this time, which went on for a while. Heero had established by now that the newcomer wasn't a salesman; he had a backpack and duffel, for one thing, both well used. All the same, he kept the gun trained on the figure -- he hated surprises, and wanted this one gone quickly. After his question was answered, that is.

"Well?" he said impatiently when the laughter had subsided.

"Well what?"

"My question."

"Oh, they're natural, alright. I get that a lot. Weird, I know, but it's not like you can say anything, either; from what I know about Asians they usually have black hair and black eyes."

He had a point there, Heero acknowledged, knowing his own dark brown hair and deep blue eyes were unusual. But a lot of people had blue eyes, and there was even the slightly rarer green, whereas purple… he made a mental note to research more into genetic defects later.

"I wasn't going to say anything," he returned, "I just wanted to know." Gesturing with his gun, he smirked slightly at the violet-eyed man. "So, before I ask you to 'go the hell away', here's your requisite 'who are you'?"

He waited impatiently for the resulting bout of laughter to fade before he prodded the other's shoulder with the barrel of his gun. "Well?"

A huge grin was on the other man's face as he straightened and offered a hand. "I don't really believe you haven't already guessed, but hey, if you want to play it this way… Duo Maxwell. And you're Heero Yuy."

He eyed the hand as if it was going to detach itself from the wrist and grope him. "Am I supposed to know you?"

Duo pouted, dropping his hand. "Aw, come on, play nice!"

Heero's eyes narrowed as he steadily held the gun pointed at Duo. "I am going to shoot you if you don't leave in five. Four. Three --"

"Hey hey, chill." Duo held up his hands placatingly, an amused smile on his face. "I'll refresh your apparently goldfishtic memory, eh? Let's try this again. I'm Duo Maxwell, your new roommate."

Heero stared.

Duo beamed.

"…Five. Four. Three. Two --"

"Hey, hey, waitaminute!" Duo yelped, lightly batting at the barrel of the gun. Heero, caught off guard, let the counting drop and the gun waver, but he firmed his grip quickly enough, though Duo had stopped pushing by then. "Sheesh, goldfish much?"

"I," Heero stated through clenched teeth and narrowed eyes, "Do not 'goldfish'."

Duo grinned. "Sure you don't… fishie."

Heads all around the estate looked up at the sound of gunshots and yelps, but when they heard the word 'Heero' mixed in with other more indecipherable shouts they went back to their business. It was Yuy again -- he was odd, but useful (none of them were bothered by door-to-door salesmen anymore) so they left him alone. That had nothing to do with the fact that they'd been on the receiving end of both glare and gun, of course.

Meanwhile, on the third floor, Duo ran from one end of the hallway to the other, back and forth, uselessly trying to dodge the bullets while yelling his head off. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Someone help me -- Heero stop it! I said I'm sorry! Someone help, dammit -- I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…"

Heero leant against his doorframe, arms crossed, a smirk on his face for all to see as he watched Duo dash to and fro, still apologizing at the top of his lungs. He'd run out of paint pellets a while ago, but the idiot hadn't noticed yet and was still running, hands over his head in a futile attempt at protection, entirely covered with bright neon paint (oil-based, and very hard to get out of clothing. Or skin, for that matter). It was a damned amusing sight, to say the least.

"…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm -- hey. Wait a minute." Duo stopped and cautiously peeked out from under his hands and paint-splattered bangs. Seeing Heero smirking at him unconcernedly, gun nowhere in sight, he glared and straightened, pointing an accusing finger at the Japanese man. "You!"

"Me," Heero said agreeably. "Have a nice day."

And then he took a step back into his apartment and shut the door, locking it with satisfaction. He stared at the dark wood for a moment, letting the smile that had been tugging at his lips replace the smirk, and then turned away to head back towards his 'work room'.

A soft sound made him pause, amused smile fading. He'd been trained to keep a subconscious ear out for suspicious noises, however small, and this noise was definitely suspicious. A sort of jingling sound, metal against metal; he'd heard it before…

Shit.

Important:
The next chapter takes off right where this one ends, a continuous timeline. I split it up because it was too long as one chapter only, and split into two would make better chapters, length-wise: plot-wise and time-wise it would be better to imagine you're reading it at one go.

That said, hope you enjoyed this chapter? How was the humour – rare, medium, well done, or over-cooked? Be honest, and as critical as you can be, if you do review. Thanks!

Oh, and chocolate ice-cream cakes to all those lovely people who reviewed the first chap! -hands out cake- If you don't like cake, then here, have some gratitude fresh: thank you so much to everyone, it's great to know I brought a smile to your day!

Momochi Zabuza, Crazy (ah, all those lovely questions… they will be answered later. -beams-), ZaKai, Meg-Of-The-Moon, Raz, ShianeCollins, Mystic Dragonsfire (-pats- hope your day got better!), Crysania Fay (use the message all you like – though you might not like the results), Bluespark (whew, you liked the summary – I slaved away for minutes on that, glad it was useful!), andrea, ms trick, Kasifya, raimei, hyxdm, Merula (shh, don't tell people that Heero will be utterly crushed by Quatre's dastardly plans… they haven't read it yet!), randompancake (go ahead, use the message and scare your friends off…), serena429, Rekishi Niiro (hey, you reviewed so many of my stories chapter by chapter – thank you! This quick update's in your honour. -grins- though I don't really appreciate being threatened with a flame for Joke…), chibidark angel, inthefire2002 (changed quote? -blinks- Uh, where?), Ink2, I.C. (want to steal the message? then steal away!), Ellen, Nikkler (er, do you have a grudge against Heero? You seem extremely eager for Quatre to declare war on him… -grins-), SoulSister (hey, you can't be like Heero! Go out and enjoy yourself, d'you hear), rainystar186, Eternal Sailor Darkness, and NanashiShinigami (glad you found Heero in-character!).

Ashen Skies
"Have a nice day!"