Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of literature to all those poor unenlightened fellow man out there. I am making no profit from this.

Pairings: 2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

Summary: Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

Roommate: Unwanted

Chapter Three: Friends Like These

From Chapter Two:

A soft sound made him pause, amused smile fading. He'd been trained to keep a subconscious ear out for suspicious noises, however small, and this noise was definitely suspicious. A sort of jingling sound, metal against metal; he'd heard it before…

Shit.

Whirling around, he was just in time to watch the handle turn and the door open to reveal a widely grinning Duo Maxwell.

And in his hand, two long, thin, familiar-looking pieces of metal, which he twirled around his fingers and then casually pocketed. Heero hurled knives at that pocket with his eyes alone. Then he turned his full glare on the American, who, sadly, wasn't affected any more than he was before.

"You just broke into my apartment," Heero finally stated, rather peeved at being thwarted.

"Ah," Duo said with an air of knowledge, "But you're inside, so that doesn't count."

"…That is illogical."

"That is my logic," Duo informed him.

"Same thing."

"Hey!"

Heero sighed. He was tired of this. "What do you want?"

Duo beamed. "So we're being serious now, huh? Good. I'm here to stay in your unused guest room, pay you $500 per month for rent, and share half the responsibility in apartment-keeping while making sure you don't kill yourself overworking. And if possible, turn you into a social animal in heat. All as agreed, yeah?"

He blinked at Heero's furious expression. "Er, okay, no animals then. How about just a normal social life? I can do normal. Honest."

The Japanese growled and turned, making a beeline for his house phone. This had Quatre written all over it. In flashing neon letters. On a huge billboard. In the heart of the city, even.

Autodial had the phone ringing in a second. Quatre picked up after two. "Quatre Winner spea --"

"I sincerely hope you have your affairs in order."

"Heero? Is that you?"

"I have a website for a funeral parlour if you'd like to choose your own coffin."

The blond was sadly unintimidated. "All's fair in love and war."

"You sent some stranger --"

"He's not a stranger! I met them all beforehand, and out of the entire lot he was the best choice. I'm not entirely heartless, you know. We talked, I got to know him better, and I think he's the perfect person to kick you in the --"

"He has no idea that I have no idea what he's doing here!" Heero hissed. "And what do you mean, met them all --"

But suddenly the phone wasn't in his hand anymore. Twisting around, he stared at Duo as the other man grinned shamelessly at him. "I think I have a pretty good idea, now," he said cheerfully. Ignoring the gathering thundercloud on Heero's face, he said into the phone, "Hello, Quatre? You're one sly, manipulative bastard, I'll give you that. Letting me see the guy at his worst and giving me an out if I didn't want -- what…? Oh, don't worry. I love a good challenge. I'm not backing down on this one! Mm-hmm… yeah… okay. Got it."

He held the phone out to Heero, winking impishly. "It's for you."

Heero snatched the phone back. "You better have a good explanation for this, Quatre, besides 'I want you to have my definition of a social life'."

"Well, you've got that covered, so I won't say it again. But, Duo really does need the room. Talk to him, please? Oops, gotta go, Trowa tied up on the kitchen table and all that. See you, Heero!" Click.

"…"

I'm never eating on his kitchen table again.

"You've got a good friend in Quatre, you know," Duo said conversationally as he moved towards the couch in the living room. Heero noted that the front door was closed, locked, and that Duo's bags were next to it. "He really cares about your well being."

Heero threw the phone back in the holder, watched in resignation as it bounced back out, and then stuck it into place again. This time, it stayed, and he went into the living room, where Duo was happily snuggling the couch.

He blinked and looked again. Yes, Duo was not snuggling on the couch, but was actually snuggling the couch. Rubbing his noise against it, in fact.

Resisting the urge to rub his temples (a Herculean effort) he said pointedly, "If that has paint on it, you're replacing it."

"You should know better than anyone that the paint you used is quick-drying. Hey, love the couch, Heero!"

"You can sleep on it," was his curt reply. "Or rather, not. The paint flakes off, and you're cleaning that before you leave. And at least have the decency to call me 'Yuy', Maxwell."

"I'm a friendly kind of guy," Duo said loftily. "As specified in the ad."

He paused, and Quatre's words surfaced again in his mind. Met them all beforehand…

"What ad?" he asked, despite knowing, deep in his gut, that he really didn't want to know.

"The classifieds from the day before, third page."

"Third page where?" He knew how small the font was, and how many ads could be squeezed into a page. They were expensive, after all, and every little bit counted.

"Er… don't think you need to worry about that."

He went to look, dread and suspicion tidal-waving him. His fears were confirmed.

The ad took up a damn fifth of the page.

Roommate needed to rehabilitate ill-tempered workaholic recluse. Needs to be friendly, determined, not easily shocked, have a high tolerance and able to help with housework, which includes cooking. Rent at $500 per month, inclusive of everything.

Quatre's number was at the end. Heero willed the paper to spontaneously combust.

In the silence that followed, Duo said conversationally, "I'm more of 'stubborn' than 'determined', but I figured that'd be fine. And after meeting you, I dare say that nothing less than 'stonewalled stubborn' could help."

"…Even a stone wall can be knocked into rubble," Heero muttered, still glaring at the black and white print.

"Ooh, but rubble is pretty," Duo said happily.

Heero stared.

"What?"

"…Rubble is pretty?"

"So I happen to like rubble. Is that a problem?" Duo said defensively.

"Yes, it is, if you like to create rubble as well. I don't appreciate having my walls turned into rubble, however artistic the masterpiece -- oof."

The air had left his lungs, he was seeing spots, and his ears were ringing. His roof had just fallen in on him, and it was talking.

What?

He forced himself back into focus, and before the spots were half-gone he'd managed to make out the frantic flow of words. "… god Heero I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to jump on you so hard but I thought you were balanced and you always seem so sturdy anyhow even though I've only known you for a grand total of three minutes so I didn't think twice about glomping you and I'm really sorry you're not dead are you? Speak to me, Heero, speak to me!"

"Off…"

"Oh, thank god, he lives! Heero! You're alive!"

"…heavy…"

"I thought you'd never start breathing normally again! No, don't try to talk, wait for your breath to come back, slowly now…"

Heero managed a glare with his recovering vision and rasped, "Get… off me."

Duo looked down at him in confusion. "What?" Then he realized that he was still sitting on Heero from when he had tackled the man. "Oh. Oooops."

He got off, and Heero rolled onto his side, resting there for a moment as Duo hovered anxiously over him. "I'm sorry, I was so happy at hearing you'd agreed to let me stay that I just tackled you in a hug, and now I've got paint all over you and your couch…"

In some distant corner of his mind, Heero noted that this was true. The rest of his mind was occupied with trying to comprehend the implications of I was so happy at hearing you'd agreed to let me stay.

"…I'll go clean it up, you won't know it's ever been there, I'm good at cleaning up, you'll see, I've got practice, and I'll be the nicest roommate you'll ever have!"

Reality caught up then, and he sat up sharply. "You're not going to be my roommate!" he snapped, then shuddered as his head spun. Drawing his knees up, he rested his forehead against them. Dammit, he knew better than to get up so quickly; he hated the feeling of blood rushing to his head.

Dimly he felt a soothing hand stroking his back, and a warm presence next to him. "And you call me the idiot," an amused voice drifted into his ears. "Sitting up so quickly after being knocked to the ground and losing your breath…"

Heero pushed away from the warm body and got to his feet. "Yeah, well," he growled, "Whose fault was that? You were the damned ass who broke into my house and forced your company on me and made false assumptions that I actually welcome you when I don't."

But then he faltered as he looked at Duo, still kneeling on the floor, sad smile on his upturned face. "Do you really hate me all that much, already?" the other man asked quietly.

They watched each other for a moment, Heero trying to wrap his mind around this new personality in front of him -- or was it all that new? He didn't know a thing about Duo Maxwell, to be truthful. And there was always more to a person than what you saw at first glance. He should know.

Finally he turned away, making his way to the kitchen where he kept the vacuum cleaner. "My work room's soundproofed, so I don't care if you play loud music or watch TV or anything as long as the neighbours don't complain. Don't go into my workroom or my bedroom. If you break anything, you get a new one. Make a mess, clear it up. I usually eat a sandwich or some canned soup for meals, but if you want anything else you order, pay, and clean it up yourself."

It isn't defeat, just…a temporary ceasefire.

He found the machine, and turned around to see Duo leaning against the kitchen doorframe, grinning. "Yes sir!" he mock-saluted, coming forward to take the vacuum from Heero. "I'll clean the living room right away, sir!"

Heero ignored him. "Towels are in the bathroom, find them yourself. I assume you have your own toothbrush and toothpaste; if not get your own. Same for shampoo and soap. Clothes go into the basket under the sink, and Friday afternoons I bring the clothes down to the Laundromat. Any questions?"

"No sir!"

He checked his irritation and nodded curtly, brushing past Duo as he headed to his workroom. Hopefully this wouldn't affect his life much, if Duo kept to the rules. He spent most of his time in his workroom, anyway.

"Hey, Heero?"

He paused at the doorway.

"Thanks."

He nodded without turning and went into his room, closing the door behind him.

And finally their first meeting is done and over with! Man this is fun to on this piece, anyone? Please?

Ashen Skies
"With friends like these, who needs enemies?"