This simply couldn't be happening.
The letter had destroyed itself as soon as she'd finished reading it. There was nothing left but the little bit of ash that had fallen into her lap.
Narcissa stared down at the letter's remains, paralyzed. There was no hiding it, now. She'd broken into Lucius's private study, rummaged through his documents, opened his correspondence, seen what she wasn't meant to see, and deprived him of the opportunity to read it.
He was going to kill her.
No, she thought quickly, no. He isn't going to kill me. He may be furious, he may beat me, he may throw me in the cellar and never speak to me again... Without realizing it, she began hyperventilating. What was she going to do!? What would Lucius do when he realized what she'd done?
She stared at his desk and tried to think of how to rectify the situation, but no solution came to her that didn't include running away, which was completely childish to say the least.
What had the letter said? Narcissa struggled to remember the details of what she'd read, and drew a complete blank. Panic began to set in. Lucius needed to know what that letter said, or there would be even bigger problems. Moving suddenly, she grabbed a blank sheet of parchment and a quill from his desk drawer and, shakily, began to write down what she remembered. Something about a prophecy... She started to cry. She couldn't remember. All she knew was that the parchment alluded to her husband breaking into the Ministry of Magic to retrieve a prophecy, which was positively mad. Sobs wracked her entire body, making her gasp and choke. Stupid, she was so stupid! Why did she ever think this was a good idea? ...But she had to remember. What had it said? It hadn't been that long, why couldn't she remember it? There had been a post-script. ...Nott had their contact in the Ministry under the Imperius Curse! She quickly scribbled that down. She wracked her mind for what else it had said, but couldn't come up with anything else.
Crying uncontrollably, she brushed the ashes off her lap and stood up, taking the parchment with her. She locked the door from the inside, then left the study and pulled the door closed. Not that it made any difference now, but she'd rather not be in his study when he returned. Nauseous, pale, and weak, Narcissa sank down onto the stairs, sobbing. Lucius would never forgive her for this.
Two hours later, Narcissa was still sitting on the stairs, but was much more composed. She sat calmly, staring at the front doors, emotionless. She'd convinced herself that she could remain composed, and not lose all control when her husband got home.
As soon as Lucius came through the doors, he sensed that something was not right. He approached her and stopped a good three feet away. "What are you doing?" he asked, still a bit miffed from their earlier argument.
"Waiting for you," she answered stiffly, trying to conceal all emotion. He rolled his eyes slightly, and began heading up the stairs, past her. Knowing that she couldn't let this go, she said quickly, "Lucius."
He paused, and looked down at her.
"There's something I have to tell you."
He narrowed his eyes slightly, and came back down a few stairs until he was standing fairly close to her, towering over her. Her stomach somersaulted several times as she looked up at his expectant face. "I... I... Lucius, I... accidentally opened a letter that came for you." From the moment she said "accidentally opened" his eyes practically exploded with rage.
"You WHAT?" He grabbed her arm. "Answer me!!! You did what!?!"
Completely losing the composure she'd worked so hard to regain, Narcissa began sobbing. "I read a letter that came for you," she cried, no longer looking at him. He yanked her up by one arm, grabbing her around the torso with his other arm. "I didn't mean to, I never meant to-"
"You didn't mean to open a letter!?!!" he shouted directly in her face. She was becoming weak with fear and adrenaline, hardly able to control her own muscles, and merely shook her head as he said this, sobbing. "And where is this letter? Narcissa? Where is the letter!?" he demanded, shaking her a little bit. Fear mixed with fury radiated from his eyes. His voice betrayed that he already knew the dreaded answer.
"It – it destroyed itself, after I read it," she sobbed.
Lucius's greatest fears were confirmed with that statement. Suddenly falsely calm, he lowered her down to the step, going down with her. "What did it say, Narcissa?" He grabbed her under the chin and forced her to look at him. "Narcissa Malfoy," he said in a voice that was so calm it was deadly, "What was in that letter?"
Tears rolled down her cheeks. "I wrote down what I remembered," she said wretchedly, her voice strained and cracking as she held up the parchment that had been crumpled in her hand.
Immediately, Lucius took it from her and read it. "This is all you remember?" he asked, his voice practically a whisper. She nodded, and immediately he slapped her across the face. "I don't even know what this means!" he roared, suddenly losing all premise of being calm. When Cissa just looked at him helplessly, not offering anything more, he grabbed her by the hair, stood, and pulled her down the couple of steps and across the room to the door of the study. She cried out in pain when he stopped her by yanking her head back so she was looking at him. "You broke into my study, didn't you?"
"Let go of me, Lucius," she sobbed, trying to disentangle his hand from her hair. He only tightened his grip.
"Tell me, Narcissa, if you ever want me to let go." He reached into his pocket with his other hand, pulling out the key to the door. "You broke into my study."
This pain was far worse than what she'd felt while being tortured by the Dark Lord. She felt nauseous, weak, frightened, ashamed, worthless. "Yes," she whispered, hating herself more than anything in the world at that moment.
He did not let go of her hair. With the other hand, he unlocked the door, then pushed her through and practically dragged her across the room until he reached his desk. He shoved her into his big leather chair, finally releasing her. Shaking and raw, she crumpled over in the chair. Ignoring her weakness, he stepped around the chair, pacing like an interrogator. "We are not leaving this room until I know every single detail of that letter, do you understand me?" he said mercilessly. She did not respond, but he didn't seem to care at the moment. "What contact was he talking about? I need a name."
Narcissa hiccuped, trying to remember the name. It wasn't anyone she'd ever heard of before. "I think it started with a 'T'," she offered weakly. "If you said it, I'd probably remember."
Lucius sneered. "Why don't I give you a list of everyone I've ever used for these kinds of missions? That's the sort of thing you wanted to know, isn't it?" More tears leaked down Cissa's cheeks, and he was rational enough to stop and consider for a moment. "Thatcher?"
A small glimmer of hope blossomed in her stomach. "Yes, that's who it was!"
Her husband did not seem enthused. "Why, though? Thatcher under the Imperius Curse. Why did he say he did it?"
The memory was coming back to her in little snippets. "He made some comment about him being worthless or something... maybe that he didn't have any information." She raised her head and looked over at him.
"Maybe, or definitely!?" Lucius's temper was very short.
"No, definitely," Cissa amended quickly, clearing her throat from crying so much. "Thatcher didn't have the information you needed." She suddenly jolted back to the letter. "Yes, that's what it was – you're supposed to make a new contact because Thatcher wasn't useful!"
For a long moment, he was silent. Then he came over to her and positioned his face inches away from hers. "You're sure." His gaze was deadly serious. She nodded fervently. "And that's all that was in the letter."
Narcissa nodded again, slower. "That's what I remember being important."
His eyes dared her to even slightly lie to him. "You're sure. Because I can't just go ask Nott what he wrote to me," he said, his voice becoming louder. "He'll question why I didn't receive it, who did receive it, why I didn't stop the someone else from receiving it, and any number of other life-threatening questions." Narcissa gazed into his eyes, her own wide with fright.
"That's what I remember being important, Lucius," she repeated, very timidly.
He seemed to accept this, and stood up straight again. With that off his mind, he narrowed his eyes again slightly. "So, let's review this, shall we?" He did not break her gaze for a moment. "You got loaded. Broke into my -"
"I'm not drunk!" she insisted.
"Well you sure as hell aren't sober, Narcissa!" he growled, silencing her. "You broke into my study. You went through my private, confidential documents," he indicated the drawers. "You opened a letter that was delivered to my private study for my eyes only, and read it." She couldn't stand his accusing gaze any longer and looked away. "And you fully intended to lie to me about the entire thing, if the letter had not inconveniently disintegrated."
Her blotchy cheeks may as well have been rivers. "That's not fair. You've been hiding this from me for weeks – when were you planning to tell me that you were breaking into the Ministry!?"
"That is none of your business!" he retorted sharply.
If she hadn't been so upset, she'd have laughed sarcastically. "You're going on a suicide mission and it's none of my business?" she asked incredulously.
"Suicide mission? This is exactly why I didn't tell you, and I stand by my decision. You're far too emotional to be rational about anything."
"Rational!? I'm the one being rational, Lucius!"
"Enough. That's not what we're talking about." He looked at her with disgust. "Have you no respect for me whatsoever?"
She just stared at the ground, crying. He was still burning up with anger. "Well, Narcissa? Do you have no respect for your me? Your husband? Have you lost all respect for the Malfoy name?" Cissa shook her head miserably, but he pressed on. "Have you no respect for the Dark Lord?"
At that, she looked up at him, her eyes full of tears. "Lucius, I just thought... ...I – "
He cut her off. "You thought you knew better." He came closer, looking down at her with real fury. "Well, you don't, Cissy. You don't know better. And that is why you are merely a housewife, and not a Death Eater."
That cut her to the core. 'Merely' his wife. She turned her head away from him, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. She couldn't even reply to that.
"Father always did instruct me to use a firm hand with my wife. I'm sure in this instance he'd say you deserve to be whipped." His voice carried such anger that he sounded as though he could deliver on that.
He grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her roughly to her feet, up against him. "I should, but I won't. Aren't you grateful?" he demanded, gripping her arms tightly. All she could do was cry and shake her head. He pushed her away roughly. "Get out of my sight."
Knowing that if she remained any longer he might change his mind, Narcissa left the room as quickly as she could.
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A/N: Thank you so much to everyone for the compliments and suggestions! Your reviews really inspire me to write more, so thank you for the support! Several people have raised questions about including other characters in the story, so I just wanted to let everyone know - Bellatrix WILL be included in the story, Draco PROBABLY will be in the story, and Snape MIGHT be in the story. So stay tuned! Things are getting a bit crazy for the poor Malfoy family, but we all know that they're okay in the end, so keep that in mind!
Please don't forget to review!