AN: This chapter is the visit to St. Mungo's you were all expecting last chapter. Enjoy! Also, I know ward 49 wasn't called the "Janus Thickney Ward" until 1973, but I'd rather call it that than ward 49. This chapter is the longest so far, even longer than chapter 15, which was five pages long or something.

Chapter 27: Her Eyes

James' POV:

The days until Christmas passed quickly in a blur of decorating, present-buying, and cookie-decorating. Finally, it was the 25th, and despite the current situation I was excited, as anyone is about the prospect of presents.

Padfoot had gotten me a model of a Cleansweep Three, and it zoomed around the room. The cat chased after it until she fell into the one of the puddings, at which point Mum banished her outside and she skulked around, covered in raisins and bits of gloop.

I got a new scarf from Mum in Gryffindor colors; my old one having quite a few holes in it. Dad had gotten me some Chocolate Cauldrons, and Moony sent me some books. I groaned, as did Padfoot, when we opened the packages to find "How to Study: A Guide For Wizards" inside.

Padfoot was very pleased with his poster, and we spent a long while examining it, even cheering for our favorite teams.

But the real excitement did not come until the 26th; Lily was back at St. Mungo's.

We, again, did not go until late in the day. However, the floo network was working again, so we used that. I went first, and landed right on top of an elderly witch.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, m'am," I exclaimed, and as I helped her up I realized that it was the woman who had sold, or rather given, me the necklace.

"That's all right," she said, "I'm not dead yet!"

That, I thought, was quite an odd statement.

Then, seeming to recognize me, she said, "Oh, hello, dearie! You here to visit your sweetheart?"

That was even odder.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I have my ways," she replied, and walked off after winking at me. "Goodbye dearie! You might want to move out of the way, someone else is coming out!"

"Wha-" I began, but was knocked over as Padfoot came out of the fireplace.

"Oww," he groaned, "You could have moved, I gave you plenty of time!"

I didn't reply, but stared after the mysterious old woman, but she had disappeared in the space of 3 seconds, and there had been no "CRACK!" like you normally heard when someone apparated. It also wasn't very good manners to apparate in and out of buildings, and I had a feeling that the witch was very well-mannered.

"Padfoot, this old witch, she was there just a second ago, but now she's gone!"

He looked at me as if I had gone crazy. "She probably apparated, Prongs. You know, apparating? You disappear in less than a second?"

"Yeah, I know, Padfoot, but... oh, never mind."

We waited five minutes until Mum came through. "Sorry I took so long," she said, "but I just talked with your father. He thinks, and I agree, that you two should visit Lily by yourselves. Here's money to have tea afterwards." She handed me a galleon which I promptly put in my pocket.

Mum then went back to the fireplace, and Padfoot and I were left in the St. Mungo's welcoming room.

A wizard ran by, covered in oozing pustules, shouting out "Don't worry, I'm not contagious," and "Can I please see a healer?" alternately to passersby. Despite his assurances of not being contagious, there was a wide gap around him.

Padfoot and I laughed. We were going to see Lily today, and we were as happy as can be.

We made our way up to the desk with "Welcome" hung proudly overhead. The Welcome Witch seemed to be just out of Hogwarts, and smiled brightly at us as we came up.

"James Potter and Sirius Black!" I heard her exclaim to herself, and Padfoot grinned at me, having heard it too. Apparently, though we were probably two or three years younger than her, the Welcome Witch still knew of us. I wasn't surprised that she knew Padfoot but was surprised that she knew me, as I had stopped dating and doing pranks in second year.

Maybe that made me more desirable, I thought, as I grinned back at Padfoot.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" she stammered out, and then turned beet-red. This was obviously not what she had intended to say.

"The pleasure is ours," replied Padfoot, grinning. "Actually, though," he continued more seriously, "we're here to visit a friend of ours, Lily Evans."

"Yes, of course," managed the Welcome Witch, still blushing. She searched frantically around her desk for something, until opening one of the drawers and pulling out a file.

"Evans, Lily, is on the fourth floor in Janus Thickney ward, also known as ward 49 or the long term residents' ward," she said, "I'll send down a nurse to take you there!"

"Oh, really, that won't be necessary-" I began, but the Welcome Witch pressed a button labeled "Fourth Floor."

A moment later, a young witch appeared by the desk, having apparated downstairs. She looked about the same age as the Welcome Witch, and was very pretty.

"Alright, where are the dolts that can't find their way to clearly labeled rooms?" she asked, seemingly annoyed. But when she saw that it was me and Padfoot, she shrieked and covered her mouth.

"Is that Sirius Black and James Potter?" she said excitedly to the Welcome Witch, her attempted whisper coming out as a fairly loud rushing stream of words.

"The very same," said Padfoot, sticking out his hand to shake.

The witch shook his hand vigorously and said, "Well, if you'll just follow me, then!"

She still had a hold on Padfoot's hand, and he coughed loudly. The nurse looked down at their hands, and quickly broke apart, blushing furiously. Looking back at me, Padfoot rolled his eyes.

"Who are you visiting?" the nurse asked, her cheeks still pink.

"Lily Evans," Padfoot and I said simultaneously, and laughed.

"Wow, you're Miss Evans' third visitors today!" the witch exclaimed. I glanced back at Padfoot, surprised, and saw my expression mirrored on his face. Seeing our look, the nurse continued, "First her parents, and then a nice-looking blond boy who said he was a friend of hers; he left her a present."

"Moony," Padfoot whispered to me, and I nodded.

By this time, we had arrived on the fourth floor, and we walked in silence until we arrived at a door labeled "Janus Thickney Ward For Long Term Residents" in large bold letters, with "Ward 49" in slightly smaller letters underneath.

"Now," said the nurse, acting and looking more professional than she had since we met her, "I don't know whether or not you've been told, but a couple days ago Miss Evans began waking up every so often, though only for a few moments. If she does wake up while you're here, however, don't expect her to remember you; she's been unconscious for a long time."

My eyes widened in surprise. Lily was waking up, Lily was getting better!

The nurse opened the door quietly, and we walked past a row of beds that were mostly empty, though some had patients lying in them. The last stretch of beds was empty except for a couple people way down at the end.

"That girl, now," said the nurse, indicating a black-haired girl with Ravenclaw colors decorating her bed, "Was also one of the muggleborns in the attack. She's showing no signs of improvement; we may have to declare her a permanent vegetable."

"Vegetable?" Padfoot asked, laughing.

"It's really not funny," said the young witch, "It means that all she's ever going to do for the rest of her life is lie there and be monitored, and if the breathing apparatus gets detached, even for a few seconds, she's dead. Her parents are devastated."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"Well, here's Miss Evans," the nurse said coldly, no longer flirting at all. Apparently, Padfoot's laughing at the fact that the Ravenclaw girl was a vegetable had ruined her feelings towards him. "I'll be up by the door if you need anything."

Padfoot and I stood there in silence, the news of the "vegetable girl" hanging over us like a dark cloud. My only comfort was that the nurse said that Lily was waking up sometimes; that Lily would not be declared a vegetable.

Finally, I reached my hand into my pocket and brought out the necklace, thankful that it hadn't broken in my many tumbles earlier. "Hi Lily," I said quietly, "I brought you a present."

I moved closer to set it on the table beside her bed, but paused a moment, gazing at the bright green gems that so matched Lily's eyes. I wished fervently that Lily would wake up while we were here, even if only for a moment, so I could see the pure green in her eyes which, in reality, the necklace only faintly echoed.

As if she could hear my thoughts, Lily opened her eyes. The world stopped for a moment as I drowned in those cool green oceans, and began again when she opened her mouth and said slowly, in a voice like someone coming out of a long sleep, "Oh. Hello..."

AN: I was going to stop here, but I haven't updated in a while and since I'm writing anyway, I thought I could make this a double chapter kinda thing. This note is here to create a sort of pause, though, which is good.

Padfoot and I just stood there, gazing (and gaping) at the girl that we were both in love with.

Padfoot recovered first. "Hey Lily," he said hesitantly.

"Lily. Li-ly," said Lily slowly, seeming to taste the word, letting it roll around on her tongue, "Lily. That's my name, isn't it?"

Padfoot nodded, grinning, as I stood there, silent and immobile, the necklace still in my outstretched hand. Lily smiled back at Padfoot.

"And you," she continued in a still sleepy voice, directing her words at Padfoot, "You're, you're..." Lily paused to think for a moment, until her face brightened and she exclaimed in a voice that was as far from sleepy as you could get, "You're Sirius!"

Padfoot grinned wider, "I'm not serious, I'm as happy as can be!"

Lily puzzled over Padfoot's outburst until, realizing that it was a joke, she laughed.

It was amazing how calming that laugh was. It was saying "I, Lily Evans, will get better," if it was saying anything at all.

Then, Lily seemed to notice me for the first time, though she actually noticed the necklace first.

"What a pretty necklace!" she exclaimed, "Who's it for?"

"It- it's for you, Lily," I said, holding out the necklace to her.

Lily reached out for it, then looked at me, her eyes questioning. "Why?"

"It's a Christmas present," I said, smiling. Having been unconscious, she probably didn't know that it was the day after Christmas.

"Oh," Lily said, taking it, though the look on her face was still troubled. She examined the necklace for a moment, before glancing back up at me. "But why from you?"

"I- well-" I stammered, confused, "I'm your friend, can't I give you a Christmas present?"

"I know you?" she asked quietly.

My throat closed up in shock, and it took me a few moments to be able to speak. Then, with a feeling of dread permeating my entire body, I said shakily, "Of course you do, Lily! I'm James!"

When her face remained blank, panic began to rise in my chest, and I said, become more and more hysterical with each word, "James! James Potter! Don't you remember your friend James?"

I stopped, feeling the dread and panic encircle me, making an invisible cocoon in the air.

Lily glanced around the room as if her memories of me were hidden behind the curtains, under one of the beds, in the pattern of tiles on the floor. Finally glancing back at me, she said, her clear green eyes troubled, "I have no memories of a James Potter." Then, almost as an afterthought, she whispered, "I'm sorry if this upsets you." Then, as if the search of her memories had tired her out, Lily lay back onto her pillow and slipped back into unconsciousness, her eyes the last things to shut down.

Her eyes, which now represented the epitome of sorrow and pain.

Her eyes, whose pure, clear color I saw as I sank into the chair beside the bed.

Her eyes, that brought me to tears and blurred my vision as the words played over and over again in my mind.

I have no memories of a James Potter.

As each word plunged an icy dagger into my heart, Lily's eyes as they had been at that moment filled my vision, troubled, but unsure what her words would mean to me.

This was worse than when I had read the list of muggleborns and seen Lily in the "Recovery Uncertain" category, for though was now beginning to recover from the attack, she was missing her memories of me, she was a puzzle missing a piece, incomplete.

The only thing worse would have been if she had become a vegetable.

Any joy I had felt when Lily had awakened was long gone, and I felt empty, as if the slightest gust of wind could blow me away. The only thing holding me down was the pain, the daggers that sank into my chest and stayed, the new daggers that appeared every time those words, those eyes, came into my brain.

And what made it worse what that they would not, could not, leave.

No memories, my brain repeated, I have no memories of a James Potter.

I swallowed hard to prevent any more tears, and said to Padfoot, "We should go."

"Are you sure you're alright, mate?" he asked, "We can stay for a while if you want to cool down-"

"No, let's go." I couldn't bear to be near Lily any longer, couldn't bear the thoughts that kept on coming, drowning me in a sea of sorrow.

"How was your visit?" said the nurse as we came up. Then, seeing my face, she murmured, "Oh, I see."

I remembered that she had said that Lily might not remember us. But I had not really prepared myself for it – I had been in her life for so long, I had not expected that Lily would not remember me. But her words said, all too clearly, that she did not remember, and possibly never would.

I have no memories of a James Potter.

The words rang in my head as we walked down the stairs. I barely noticed anything; the Welcome Witch and nurse's goodbyes, the trip through the floo network, the food Mum served that night at dinner. It wasn't until that night, undressing for bed that I realized that we had forgotten to have tea - the galleon was still in my pocket.

"How was your visit?" Mum asked while we ate, as I chewed dully on a piece of something – I wasn't paying attention to what I was eating, but was only doing it out of necessity.

"Fine, Mrs. P," said Padfoot.

"It was worse than fine!" I wanted to shout, "It was horrible!"

But I didn't say anything and the meal continued in silence as Lily's words, Lily's eyes, ran through my brain.

No memories.

AN: So, congrats on getting through that approximately five and a half pages of chapter. I thought it was pretty good - what about you guys? Review, please! :)