Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, have any relation to Gundam Wing, have no permission from those who created Gundam Wing to write this. This is purely for fun, to waste time, and to make other people happy reading and to spread the joy of slashy literature to all those poor unenlightened Fellow Man out there. I am making no profit from this.

Pairings: 2x1x2, side pairing 3x4

Summary: Heero was perfectly happy as a workaholic recluse, but then Quatre declared War on him and suddenly there's a sugar-high American at his door, messing up the house and showing him that maybe, he hadn't been that happy after all...

Roommate: Unwanted

Chapter Eleven: Skeletons in Closets

Arms limber: check.

Legs limber: check.

Torso limber: check.

Clothes loose and not restricting movement: check.

Well then.

Heero Yuy took a deep breath, rolled his shoulders to loosen them one last time, faced the front door of his apartment squarely, turned the knob, and shoved the door open in one decisive movement.

Paint pellets shot directly at his chest, but he'd already dived out of the way, and they splattered against the far wall of the hallway. He didn't notice, though, seeing as avoiding the pellets had led him directly into the path of three pillows that swooped from nowhere to hit him in the face – or at least, to hit the empty air where his face had been, as he ducked all three in quick succession, the agile twists of his body as he moved amazingly graceful and rather improbable, considering that little thing called gravity.

Some artful footwork and flexibility saw him through cleverly hidden threads stretching from the floor to a distance above his head. He was all too aware of the traps overhead that they would release once triggered. He did a neat back-flip over a stack of wooden beams, the last hurdle, and landed on his feet with a flourish. Unable to keep a small smirk of satisfaction from surfacing, he swept his arms out to the sides in a gymnast's finishing pose –

And got hit smack in the face with a pie.

"……"

There was the sound of slow clapping. "Bravo, Heero, bravo. That was easily a nine, maybe nine and a half – I especially loved that last bit with the arms. A lovely touch. Encore! Encore! En – ack."

There were several splats, followed by a thud.

Heero wiped the cream out of his eyes and licked some off his lips. Not bad – both the cream, very fresh, very light, and the effect of the splatter-gun. Well, he called it a splatter-gun, there was no real name for it since he'd just invented it, but the name was pretty apt if he did say so himself.

"Air!" Gasp, gasp, choke. "Air!"

"Reminds you of the first time we met, doesn't it?" he said conversationally, fighting a smile as he watched Duo theatrically clutch at his (paint-splattered) stomach with one (paint-splattered) hand and wave the other (also paint-splattered) hand in the air, like a drowning man. He hadn't expected the impact to be so strong, but that was a very nice bonus. He'd modified one of his spare paint-pellet guns to create a paint-bomb gun. It splattered paint all over the target very satisfactorily, hence the name. Unfortunately, it meant that he had to sacrifice bits of his wall and floor and even the ceiling as innocent bystanders to stray paint flecks, but that was a small price to pay.

"Aaaaair!"

"If you can drag that syllable out for so long, you can breathe." Heero turned to survey the mess that was his entrance hallway as he absently wiped at the rest of his face. "Chinese today, I left it outside as usual, and it'll get cold if we don't get started on this now. You know how long the strings take to dismantle."

"Yeah, yeah. That's the best part, though. Plus, watching you go through – man, the contortions your body can…" Duo trailed off in the middle, an odd look on his face, as if he was listening to some inner voice. He licked his lips. "Um."

Heero rolled his eyes, used to the sight. The other man would sometimes get that expression, and once in a while, Duo would even blush along with that look. Heero found it unnerving, because he could very well guess what Duo was thinking. He wasn't some clueless innocent after all. He just tried his best to ignore Duo and not think about it.

Admit it, you find it cute.

Damn it, he was Heero Yuy, and Heero Yuy did not find things cute!

Which was why, as usual, he ignored the other man and turned instead to the wooden beams (where in the world did Duo get these things?). He grunted slightly as he lifted one and carried it over to a spare piece of wall, leaning the beam against it, muscles working but not straining – this weight was nothing to him. There was a choked squeak from where Duo was standing, and he rolled his eyes again, a faint smile forming. When he realized it was there, he bit his lip quickly and got his expression under control before going back to the remaining two beams.

He was moving the third one when Duo finally joined in, going to work carefully on the web of strings, taking the upper half while Heero, when he was done, took the lower. He really disliked the reminder of Duo's height superiority, but there was no helping it. At least Duo didn't use that fact in their little war, seeming to prefer to pick at issues to do with things that he could help, like his physical abilities, and avoiding the easy topics like his height. For that he'd gained Heero's grudging respect.

Respect, hell – it's past respect. You don't just respect that, you like that about him.

He easily avoided a spoon that came twanging down at him from the ceiling, and a quick flick of a string near his left foot managed to nail Duo on the nose with a rubber aardvark. He smirked at Duo, who made a face at him but then broke out into a grin and gave him a thumbs-up. He couldn't help the tiny smile that flickered out of existence as fast as it had appeared, but Duo caught sight of it nevertheless, and his grin grew even wider before he turned back to his work.

That had become routine, too – trying to get each other while dismantling the traps, just as actually going through the traps had become… normal. Recently Heero had to go out often, to deal with some problems with his publishing company that couldn't be dealt with properly via his normal method of email and phone communication – some problem with restructuring had caused confusion about his editors, and now they couldn't find who held his most recent manuscript.

He had to admit, though, that the first time he had returned home, in a black mood because of the incompetent upper management, and been hit in the ribs with a foam float, he had been beyond pissed.

Yet at the same time, he had (reluctantly) admired the extent of the creativity involved, and the dismantling war had been fast and furious, Heero getting into it when Duo, ordered to undo it, had used the opportunity to his advantage. The second time he'd opened the door, Heero had been more prepared, and it had actually been rather… exhilarating. The third time, and this fourth one, had both been – dare he admit it? – fun.

He almost looked forward to the days when he had to go out, now.

It didn't mean that he took all that lying down, of course – oh, no. Heero smiled in fond remembrance of the dating ad (in honour of the ad that had started it all; Duo had had to get his number changed twice), the hacking incident (the squeaking, pop-song-singing elephants were still disco-ing around Duo's laptop screen, he believed, and since he'd tampered with the sound controls, Duo had had to resort to wearing earplugs), the sneaky replacement of the contents of all his jacketed books with bad porn…

And his current scheme, which was costing him quite a bit of both time and money, but he believed would all be worth it in the end.

Heero had come up with the idea when he'd noticed Duo's discomfort with the chocolate cake in the café where he'd met Relena. He was able to read his roommate quite well by now, and he was confident that his latest trick would be the one to win the war.

Done with dismantling the traps, Heero retrieved the Chinese takeout from outside the door. Setting the food out was a matter of moments, and they were eating in short order. Heero noticed how Duo was eating less, and more slowly, and smirked to himself.

He finished the last of the food on his plate, and stood, picking up his dishes. "I'm done," he announced, heading to the sink and putting his dishes away before heading towards the kitchen door.

Duo's voice was slightly panicked as he said, "Already? But – I can't finish all this food!"

"I had a late lunch," Heero said. "A big, late lunch."

"But –"

"I have lot of work to do," was the severe reply. "Please do not waste my time. You are a growing adult, this amount of food should be no problem for you."

He marched out of the kitchen to Duo's sputters, and allowed himself another smirk. He'd also noticed that Duo never wasted food, perhaps a remnant of a childhood of scarce resources? In any case, even if he had to force himself, Duo would finish all the food. He never seemed to put on weight, though.

At least, not in reality.

Locking himself in his study, Heero went straight to his email. Duo was going out the next day, so it was time for the newest installation to arrive.

Duo stared at himself in the mirror, a wave of despair washing over him. He'd gone out for lunch with one of his clients, so he'd been forced to eat lunch, which he'd been refraining from eating for the past weeks.

When he'd come back, one look in the mirror told him how bad things had gotten.

It wasn't just the mirror. It was the gradual increase in the number on the weighing scale, and the gradual tightening of his clothes. He didn't even dare look in mirrors when he walked past them outside. Pulling his smart-casual clothes off, he tossed them into the corner, fishing out his largest, comfiest shirt and shorts. At least those were still fitting – though that might just be a matter of time at the rate I'm going, Duo thought morosely.

He just didn't get it – how was this happening? His genes, regular exercise, and his active personality and lifestyle had always ensured his trim figure, but now… it was too early for a mid-life crisis, wasn't it?

Memories whispered, ugly and dark, at the back of his mind. Rat-boy, they growled, orphan boy. Fag. Sissy, weirdo, ugly.

You don't belong here.

I don't want you.

Gritting his teeth, Duo grabbed his gym bag. Before dinner with Heero, which he wouldn't miss for the world no matter how fat it might make him, he could hit the gym for a few hours –

"Duo, you're back." Heero stood in the doorway, car keys dangling from his hand. He held up two coupons with his other. "I have a discount on a high tea buffet, want to go?"

Bloody hell. Duo bit his lip, wavering. On one hand, he really couldn't afford to eat more. On the other hand, it was rare that Heero invited him to go out, and he tried to never miss any chance to be with the other man.

"Um, I just ate lunch," he hedged. "Is the discount valid for dinner?"

"Just high tea." Heero shrugged, turning away. "It's okay, we don't have to use these, I can just throw this away –"

"That's a waste," Duo blurted. He grimaced as his own words registered. "Damn… okay, let's go."

Heero eyed him. "If you don't want to, you don't have to force yourself. If you go for the buffet and don't eat much, you're wasting the food and the money in the end."

That struck a chord in Duo – it was true, it would be a waste… and he'd learned never to waste anything. He'd had that lesson imprinted into his very bones.

Pasting a half-forced smile on his face, Duo shook his head. "I'll eat, I'll eat," he said with false light-heartedness. "Shoo, I need to change."

"I'll be in the car." The door closed behind Heero.

Sighing, Duo pulled out some casual clothes and began changing. I'll go to the gym tomorrow, he told himself. Nothing a little exercise won't cure.

Yeah. Everything will be fine.

"Duo. Dinner."

There was a long pause from inside the room. Then, finally, Duo's falsely-cheerful voice: "Actually, I'm not really hungry today, Heero. If you have leftovers, I'll freeze them and have them for lunch tomorrow, okay?"

Heero blinked at the door, caught off-guard, a rare event. "You don't want to have dinner with me?"

"No, no, nothing of the sort!" The door opened, and Duo smiled at him, but there was something off about it. "I can watch you eat, I guess. Oh, I could be your musical accompaniment! Well, not so musical, actually, more like conversational, but you could just take it as background –"

Cutting him off, Heero tried again. "It would be odd having you watch me eat while not eating yourself," he pointed out.

There was a slightly hunted look in Duo's eyes. "Nah, just take me as some sort of human radio, okay? Just sort of there, but you don't have to take any notice of me –"

"Forget it." Heero spun sharply on his heel and stalked off to the kitchen. He expected to hear Duo running after him with an apology and saying that he'd eat with him after all, but to his surprise – and a little anger, a little disappointment – there was only silence. Then, as he rounded the corner to the kitchen, disappearing from Duo's view, he heard the quiet click of a door.

It made him stop in his tracks. Duo always ate dinner with him. The other man took pains to be able to eat dinner with him every day. Yet tonight, just now…

Heero scowled and continued into the kitchen, all appetite gone. This was frustrating, and more than a little annoying. His plan was working perfectly. It was sheer genius. Not a detail had been missed, not a thing was suspected. Duo had fallen completely for the trick, and this battle was overwhelmingly his own victory.

So why didn't he feel satisfied at all?

Instead, as Duo grew quieter, as he bowed out of engagements more often, as he lost that quintessential light that made him annoyingly Duo, Heero found himself actually worrying over the idiot. He found himself missing the easy camaraderie that had grown between them, instead of the awkward tension that had sprung up in the last few weeks.

He wasn't supposed to suffer along with Duo, damn it!

The problem was that this reaction was too… extreme. Heero had expected the normal reaction that people had when they realised they were gaining weight: griping, grumbling, grudging dieting and amusing woebegone giving-up of their favourite foods. Duo, however, was taking this way too seriously.

Heero had always thought that it all came naturally to Duo – the looks and the charm both, the other man mostly unaware of it and not taking undue advantage or care. It was yet another one of the things he liked about Duo, as loath to admit it as he was, even to himself. He couldn't have judged the other man so wrongly, could he?

No. That couldn't be it.

Do you really hate me all that much, already?

That quiet, wistful question whispered through Heero's mind, trailing in its wake a smile so full of painful history, a memory from the very first day Duo had entered his life.

With a muttered curse, Heero spun around again and headed back to Duo's room. He rapped impatiently on the wood, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for a reply, not bothering to hide his scowl. He didn't know why he was doing this, but he couldn't let this state of affairs continue. He didn't want to think about why, because he had a feeling he really didn't want to know the answer.

The door opened slightly, cautiously. One violet eye peeked out. "Heero?"

Heero pushed hard on the door, not letting up, and Duo was forced to step back. The door swung open, and Duo crossed his own arms defensively, mimicking Heero's pose. "What? I am sorry about dinner, but I'm really not hungry –"

"The mirrors are made of a special flexible material that works as a mirror on one side, but which can be manipulated to bend in certain ways to create the illusion of length or breadth. It's a prototype that I obtained from a contact of mine when I volunteered to conduct a field test." Heero watched Duo like a hawk, examining every reaction. "Every time you left the house, I would adjust the angle a little more to create the illusion that you were putting on weight."

There was something akin to horrified understanding dawning in violet eyes. "You mean – all this time – it was –" He swallowed and uncrossed his arms to rub at his face. "What… what about the clothes?" he said, weakly.

"You have few articles of clothing that are form-fitting and that you wear out. All I had to do was adjust the seams slightly. It did not take much time."

Duo was taking in deep, gulping breaths. One hand moved as if to tug at his clothes, but the movement was abandoned halfway, the hand dropping limply back to his side. "So – all this was just… a trick."

"Yes."

"Oh god." Duo blinked rapidly. "Okay. Okay. Um… wow, you sure got me good!" Suddenly he was laughing, all unsteadiness gone, the picture of relieved joviality. "Man, I never suspected a thing, that was brilliant, man, just brilliant. I should be pissed at you, but wow, I'm just amazed. Seriously, the effort you went to – say, why did you tell me? You could have gone on for weeks before I realised! You spoiled your own trick, you know."

Heero stared at the too-bright grin, and at the eyes half-closed in supposed mirth, and felt the beginnings of irrational anger. Duo was hiding, even now, and he hated it. "You know why," he said coldly.

The smile turned slightly confused, but remained, a mask. "What're you talking about, Heero?"

"Why ask me? I do not know why your appearance affects you so much. Ask yourself; only you know. What do I know about you, really?" His words were stiff with anger, stilted. "You ask me to open up to you, but you do not accord me the same courtesy. You know about my past, you know the biggest secret of all the secrets I have, and yet I know nothing about yours – your past or your secrets."

He stepped into Duo's private space, tilting his head to glare up at him. "What are you hiding, Duo Maxwell?" he said, quiet but forceful. "Is your friendship only worth so little?"

Duo's eyes widened, and that hunted look came back. "Heero…"

That one word was enough. Heero set his jaw grimly and stepped back. "I thought so." He turned and walked out of the room, anger still simmering, but oddly, edged with hurt. His emotions were so alien to him, these days. It took him only a moment to find his keys and wallet, and then, locking his study behind him, he headed for the front door.

"Heero… wait, where are you going?" Duo had emerged from his room, panic clear in his voice and face.

"Out."

"But – it's already late."

"I won't be back anytime soon."

"What do you – the charity dinner's tomorrow night, you can't miss –"

"Find your way there yourself."

Heero reached for the front door, wanting out. Seeing Duo make a move as if to stop him, or follow him, he cut the other man a deadly look, something he hadn't used ever since he'd found himself becoming closer to Duo. The lack of practice hadn't taken the sharp edge off the look, though, judging by the way Duo froze. He felt a small, petty, vindictive pleasure at that.

In the silence, Heero closed the front door with a quiet click, and left.

One way or another, tonight is going to be miserable.

The apartment echoed with accusing silence, and Duo sighed heavily for the hundredth time that day. He stared unhappily at himself in the mirror – Heero's, so it was safe – and tugged half-heartedly at his collar, straightening it. The tux was a perfect fit. If only he'd thought to put it on earlier, to check if its measurements were still fitting, then he would have seen through Heero's trick earlier and all this wouldn't have happened.

Things had been going really well, too, but now…

Duo hadn't gotten any sleep the last night, waiting to hear the front door open. He'd dozed off at dawn, gotten two fitful hours of rest, and then gotten up to pace around the apartment the entire morning. He'd done a compulsive cleaning spree in the afternoon, and had gone from guilt to anger – Heero had been the one to play the trick, who was he to get mad, huh? – and back to guilt by the time he was done.

It wasn't Heero's fault that Duo had a screwed up personal history. The Japanese man couldn't have known.

But he should have. The bunny was subdued today, too. You should have told him something. Anything. Hell, you know that he was raised by an assassin, for god's sake. Shouldn't you have given him something back?

I didn't think about it, okay? He never asked anything anyway!

You know how he's like. You know he'd never make the effort to talk about these things, but he responds more than willingly nowadays to any effort you make, and he's even asked you to go out a few times already. That's just his way.

Duo sighed again. Great. They weren't even going out yet and they'd already had their first big storm-out-the-door falling out.

He really didn't feel like going for the dinner, but he'd promised Relena, and he'd paid for it, and the tux would just go to waste, which was a pity after all the trouble he'd gone through for it. A brief smile tugged at his lips as he remembered that trip, but it faded again as the memory of Heero's smile was replaced by the memory of his angry, hurt eyes.

He remembered the decision he'd come to, all those weeks back after the tux-shopping trip, about taking things slow. Friendship first, above all – he wasn't going to burden Heero with his feelings. But maybe… maybe that was him just being selfish? Taking things slow was another way of not getting too involved, another way of holding back. Taking things slow and keeping things close to his chest had led to what happened yesterday. But what had happened last night was exactly what he'd been scared of – being rejected, being hurt again, just when he was getting close. So maybe it had been the right thing to do, because he wasn't as hurt now as he would have been if he'd allowed himself to fall all the harder for Heero?

Um.

"I suck as psycho-analysing myself," Duo muttered.

The doorbell rang. Duo jumped, startled, and then the sound registered and he ran for it. His heart pounded with sudden adrenaline and hope as he flung the door wide. "Heero –"

The rest of the sentence died unspoken when his gaze hit chin, and then when he raised it, met sympathetic green eyes. After all these weeks of living with Heero, it was a little weird to have to look up instead of slightly down. He plastered on a smile. "Oh, hi… Trowa, isn't it?"

Trowa nodded. "It's nice to see you again, Duo."

"After that restaurant fiasco, I didn't think any of you would like to see me again!" Duo joked, stepping aside to let him in. Belatedly, he added, "If you're here to see Heero, he's not in."

"I gathered." Trowa entered with a nod to him. "Also, it was Heero who instructed me to collect his suit."

Relief and apprehension warred in Duo. On one hand, he was glad that Heero wasn't mad enough to skip the dinner because of him, but on the other hand, he had no idea how awkward it was going to be, the two of them at the same table. He set those worries aside for now as he trailed Trowa to Heero's room. "So… um… how is he?"

"Sulking."

Duo blinked at the faintly amused tone in Trowa's voice. Sulking? Wasn't that taking things too lightly? "Heero was pretty pissed when he left yesterday," he hedged.

Trowa paused, his hand on the half-open wardrobe door. He turned to look thoughtfully at Duo, who tried to look as innocent as possible. "He was," was the reply, "when he arrived at our house. Luckily, Quatre was at home, and he took Heero aside. When they came out, Quatre had that smug little look of his on his face, and Heero was… sulking."

"…oh." Duo had no idea what to make of this.

"They refuse to tell me what happened, and throughout this entire day they've been whispering together. Well, Quatre was doing most of the whispering, but the fact that Heero was actually listening is rare enough." Trowa fished out a suit protected in a plastic sheath, and closed the door. "Looks like I'll be talking to you tonight."

"Tonight? You're coming to the dinner, too?" Duo hoped the relief in his voice wasn't too evident.

"Quatre and Relena generally move in the same circles, and they invite each other to these things all the time. And I go where Quatre goes." Trowa looked around at the room, and a tiny smirked surfaced. "So this is the infamous masterpiece Quatre waxed lyrical about. The living room is nice, but this…"

Duo had to grin, even though his emotions and thoughts were all tangled up. "Personally, I'm amazed Heero hasn't gotten anyone in to paint it over yet."

"So am I." Trowa turned to face him fully, gaze surprisingly intent. "What happened yesterday?"

"Uh…" Feeling trapped, Duo frantically tried to piece together an explanation that was satisfactory and yet not too revealing. "There was this prank…"

"Duo." Trowa's serious voice made him pause. "Quatre and I were talking about this a while ago, but we were too busy to come find you… you do know that we consider you a friend on your own merit?"

"Uh…"

Trowa nodded. "I thought so." He patted Duo's shoulder with his free hand. "I'm sorry that we haven't been in touch. We've been busy these last few weeks, but we got things pretty much sorted out a couple of day ago, and now that Heero showed up yesterday… if I know Quatre, you'll be seeing a lot of us from now on." He smiled faintly. "Quatre would have come here to talk to you, if Heero hadn't threatened him with his disappearance."

"Quatre's disappearance?" Duo said blankly.

Trowa snorted. "No, his own. He knows that's the only threat Quatre will take even semi-seriously."

Duo thought about it, and cracked a smile. "Yeah, I can imagine that."

"You know…" Trowa hesitated, and then sighed. "I've had lunch with Heero a few times since Codfish's, and he's… mellowed. Quatre says the same thing. Wufei had dinner with Heero before he left for China last week – some conference, I think – and he called us immediately afterward to express his surprise at how Heero 'is becoming more of a normal person', in his words. We all agree that it's probably due to you."

"Yeah, well, never let it be said that I don't live up to my promises," Duo said lightly, feeling a little awkward at the praise. "That was my deal with Quatre, after all."

"It's gone past a simple deal, and you know it." Trowa shook his head. "I won't press the issue. Normally I don't like to talk much, but Heero's a good friend, and I think that you could be an equally good one, too. You're new in this town, right? We would like to be the ones you turn to, Duo – all of us."

"Don't worry about me," Duo said, waving a dismissive hand. "I'm the original Lone Ranger. Silhouetted against the sunset on top of a mountain, me against the world, sort of thing. Quatre's worrying, right? It's just like him. I'll tell him I'm fine, it's really okay, I'm getting along great."

Trowa eyed him. "Good luck with that," he said cryptically. Before Duo could ask him what he meant, the other man glanced at his watch and grimaced. "I'd better be going, if we don't want to be too late. I'd offer you a ride there with us, but I'm betting you'd rather take a cab."

Duo grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I think that's best."

He saw Trowa to the door, relieved that he was getting off without having to explain what had happened, and even more relieved that he wasn't going to be stuck with only Heero and Relena for company – the man who was pissed at him and who he was falling in love with, and the woman in love with the man who was pissed and who he was falling in love with. What a wonderful dinner that would be. Besides, he rather liked Quatre, who was this devilish little angel, and Trowa was growing on him, too.

Friends… he could do with some of those.

Especially if they could turn Heero from pissed-off into just… sulky. He wondered what Quatre had said to work such a miracle. Duo snorted to himself; he couldn't imagine a sulking Heero, but he supposed Trowa knew more facets of the man than he did. That made him a little envious, but not jealous – Trowa and Quatre were so clearly gone on each other that it would be stupid to be jealous.

Feeling much better, Duo went to get his suit jacket. He had a dinner to attend.

Ooh, drama.

Which, I hope, makes up for the extremely short supply of humour.

The re-appearance of Trowa! I love that guy, he and Quatre are the cutest thing ever. I realised that the other boys haven't been around, so I'm going to amend that from now on. The G-boys are the most fun when they're together, after all.

I also realised the number of reviews and stuff for this fic is less than that for Joke. I'm thinking of going back to Joke and ignoring this one for a while, since it appears more people want to read that one… this is more fun to write, though, I must admit.

Next up, Heero and Duo seeing each other all dressed up in tailored suits. Mmm.

Ashen Skies
"There was this prank…"