Drip.
Drip.
Drip...
Nagisa groggily opened her eyes to find herself in a cold, dank room. The earthy scent of mold met her nostrils and she wrestled with a ferocious sneeze as she absorbed her new and extremely uncomfortable surroundings.
Holy hell! Where am I? Why is it so dark? Oh God! I bet they've locked me in the bookstore!
She turned her head to the left when a faint jingling shattered the eerie silence. Was that a hook hanging from the ceiling? And what the hell were chains doing all over the wall? Nagisa thought that she might be able to see better if the ropes holding her to her chair weren't quite so tight and...
Wait one damn minute! What the hell am I doing tied up in a chair and in...fuck me! I'm tied up in somebody's basement! Okay, okay...don't panic girl. Don't panic! You've been through worse than this. Remember the Etoile election? Remember how much of a bitch Miyuki was? Yeah, remember dancing until you had those gnarly blisters and your ankles were so swollen Tamao asked you if you might be preggers? Yeah, this isn't that bad...
Oh fuck me! Is that a chainsaw on that table?!
Struggling mightily against her bonds, she fought to free herself even as she fought the panic swelling in her gut...
No! Don't panic! Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic...
"Hello? Help me! Help!" Her terrified pleas echoed against the damp stones of her prison, though it seemed that nobody would come to her aid. Vocal layers resonated with the soft whispers of seclusion until she thought she would go mad from her own wild notions.
Oh God, I'm going to die here and I never got to really understand what the hell voulez vous coucher avec moi means! Damn it straight to hell! I should have studied harder! Then I might really know what Shizuma meant when she kept jabbering about a menage a trois! Oh, now I'm to be butchered in a basement and I never got to experience Shizuma's 'love in three dimensions'.
Somewhere far above Nagisa's head, a gravelly voice from a loudspeaker slowly said, "Why, hello Nagisa! Welcome to the first night of your dark eternity!"
Nagisa's eyes widened when the vibrations from this throaty declaration ceased their somewhat exhilarating vibrations on the metal folding chair underneath her ass.
"Who's there? Why am I here? What do you want with me? If this is about that ping-pong table incident, I swear that I had no idea that Shizuma could shoot a ball that far, so those guys have no reason to say that we were hustling them! We were just..."
"Silence! I have no interest in your friend! I'm much more interested in you, dear Nagisa. Are you comfortable?"
Comfortable? Who the hell is this joker? Of course I'm not fucking comfortable! I'm tied up tighter than the time that Shizuma used four of her bras to tie me to the bedposts, so no, I ain't comfy!
Instead of angering her host, Nagisa wisely decided to play along. "Umm...yeah, I'm super comfortable! Like, totally! For real!"
The voice from the speaker sounded amused. "Are you now? Well, well! That is indeed a shame, because I fully intend on witnessing your grand entrance into a depressing world of discomfort and pain, a world of tragedy and melancholic splendor...a world of icky nasty stuff."
"You want what now?"
Booming laughter filled the void. "Why, dear Nagisa, I expect to hear you scream when I peel the flesh from your bones..."
"Peel my...? Oh please mister! I'll do whatever you want! Umm....my parents are rich, yeah! So, they'll pay whatever you ask! Don't hurt me! Please!"
"I care not for money..."
Shrill shrieks chased the timid echoes from their corners before they even had the chance to umm....echo. "Please! Let me go! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The booming laughter boomed even harder. It was a laugh that had a lot of experience in booming. "Oh my child, you'll have to do much better than that if you expect any mercy from me!"
"EEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!!"
"Hmm...still not satisfactory. I am not pleased with you, Nagisa."
"I'm so sorry! I'll do better!"
The voice seemed exasperated even as it seemed amused. "Never mind. We'll move to the next thing..."
Nagisa gulped. "Wh-what next thing?!"
"Heh....do you see that lotion on the floor?"
Nagisa scanned the floor in a hurried panic...
No, I'm not panicking. I don't even know the meaning of the word...
"Umm...yes, I see it."
"Good." If she hadn't been seconds away from pissing herself in true mortal fear, Nagisa might have noticed the slight lisp and mischievous taunt in the mysterious speaker's voice. "Now, it puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!"
Blinking in confusion, Nagisa asked, "Hose? What hose? You mean like, fishnets or flesh tones?"
"What? No! I mean the water hose!"
"Oh." Nagisa blinked hard. "Really? 'Cause, it's pretty damp down here in the first place, so I don't think that adding that much moisture to the environment would be a good thing, unless you're in the fungus business and then I'm sure that you're all about some dark, danky ickiness. Ain't nothin' like some dark, emo darkness to grow some 'shrooms!"
"Shush! I umm, mean to squirt you with the water hose if you continue to defy me!"
Nagisa nodded in very agreeable agreement. It was cold as hell in that damned basement and she really didn't want to be sprayed with a water hose. "I'm sorry, just please don't spray me with the hose! My naughty bits will get all pointy, then Shizuma will have to fend off hordes of slobbering fangirls..."
But Shizuma wasn't there and Nagisa found herself making decisions of her own, for a temporary change.
Pleading with her captor, Nagisa begged, "Please! It's so cold in here and I simply can't defend myself against my hopelessly optimistic fans, so have mercy! I'll do better, I swear!"
"Better? Yes...better..."
Nagisa frowned. She had already agreed to improve, so why the bloody hell did that fucking detached demonic voice get to decide that it would be the one to get all dramatic?
Oh hell no.
Not with Nagisa on watch!
Overly dramatic displays of affection and even MORE dramatic displays of misguided and selfish love were of course her area of expertise, so Nagisa was more than ready for mere drama.
Pssht! As if!
"Never mind, Nagisa. We'll just move to the next item. Do you see that bottle of lotion on the floor?"
"Umm...yes?"
The voice cackled, in obvious glee over its prize and her discomfort. "Excellent. Now, it puts the lotion on its skin..."
"But. I'm tied up, so I can't even squeeze the bottle..."
"SHHSSH! It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"
Frustrated, Nagisa shuffled and hopped in her hobbled sextuple affair until she came close to the pink bottle on the ground. Scooting as close as she could, she managed to kick the lid off of the bottle and stomp on the bottle, squirting a thin stream of lotion on the damp floor. The light, fruity fragrance seemed very, very familiar to her...
God, this lotion smells really good! Kind of like that stuff I used to steal from Tamao when I snuck off to meet Shizuma for those WILD dates!
"Hey Crazy Kidnapper, this lotion smells great!"
"Of course it does! It's 'Bubbles and Berries' by Francois! I had to make a special order all the way from...wait a tic! Shut the hell up!"
"Ooh, sorry!"
The voice coughed and sputtered, then once more assumed its previous menacing tone. "Enough chatter! Put the lotion on your skin!"
Nagisa wiggled until she had some lotion on her toes, praying that the small amount covering her neon green nail polish would be enough to appease the furious (and somewhat insane) lotion spirits. "Umm...okay! It's on my skin, so no more hose again, right?"
The voice seemed pleased. "Yes, very good. I like to see your toes all lubed up and ...ahem! Never mind! Now! It puts the fucking lotion in the baaaaaaaaaaasket!"
Nagisa frowned. Was it just her, or had the scratchy voice overhead just taken on a much more sinister and far, far more comical tone? Who the hell said baaaaaaaaaaaasket like that?
"Umm, I don't see a baaaaaaaaaaaasket anywhere."
"Oh really? I could have sworn that I placed one with a cute red ribbon right next to your...ahem!" Perhaps deciding that enough time had been wasted, the voice declared, "Never mind! You have angered me! Now you must face my wrath! Turn and face your doom! Mwahahahhaaa!"
What little light remained in the dungeon was quickly extinguished, making Nagisa squeal in the inky blackness of night. Without a doubt, she was doomed to die a sticky, yucky death at the hands of a lotion-loving madman.
Rapid footsteps and the screech of cold steel dragged along rough concrete made Nagisa scream until she thought her throat might rebel and set up a picket line protest.
"NO! PLEASE! STOP! DON'T KILL ME! DON'T LOP OFF MY HEAD WITH THAT AXE OR MACHETE OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DRAGGING BEHIND YOU! I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!!!!!"
Hot breath and the cheerful berry scent of lotion in her ear, Nagisa closed her eyes and waited for the death blow. When it didn't fall, she warily opened one eye and peeked at her captor.
Chuckling, the evil voice said, "Hmm. You say you'll do anything?"
"Yes! Anything! I'm serious! Prison blow jobs to renaissance faire maypole twirlings, silent pornography script readings to lipstick lesbian greeting cards...whatever you want, I'm game!"
"Oh really? Well, in that case..." A brief hesitation and the voice said, "...let's have a picnic!"
Nagisa's eyes burned when bright lights suddenly flared and illuminated the basement with unexpected warmth. Warily opening the other eye, she looked to her side and saw Tamao pressing stop on a portable recording device. Terrified for her friend's safety as well as her own, she whispered, "Tamao? Are you here to be gutted like a fish too?"
"What?"
Nagisa jumped and Tamao realized that she still had the voice alteration box up to her lips. Giggling, she began undoing Nagisa's ropes, carefully extracting her friend from her intricate knots. "You silly goose! We're not gutting each other! We're just having a picnic!"
Blanching an even paler shade of traumatized white, Nagisa blurted, "Y-y-y-you mean that was you saying those-those awful things?"
Tamao giggled again and held the alteration box to her lips. "What's your favorite scary movie?"
Too much, too fast...
Nagisa lost consciousness just as Tamao started pressing rewind to hear those sweet, sweet screams all over again.
Oh Nagisa...it's been so long since that summer and I've not heard your oh-so-cute screams in ages. I was afraid that living with Shizuma might have changed that beautiful voice of yours, but I'm glad to see that I was wrong! Now I have a whole new set of screams to enjoy while I shower with...ahem! You know what? Never mind about that. It's just enough that you've collapsed at my feet again, all super cute and cuddly.
Now the real fun can begin...
-----------------------------------------------------
Note: Okay, so the first thing that I thought of when Tamao recorded Nagisa's screams during summer camp was Silence of the Lambs. Tamao is a real freak sometimes. Not just a cute little anime freak...but a freak man! Honestly! Who the hell records screams?
Serial killer, much?
Also, I made a couple of references to the Scream movies.
Next chapter will be full of Shizuma trying to get into Miyuki's pants.
Will she succeed?
Will Miyuki finally get laid?
Tune in next week! Potential comic lemon ahead! Ahoy matey! Argh!