Third Story: Little Black Graverobber

I do NOT own Repo, as I stated. But I have to say it so I don't get my ass sued for all it's worth (one dollar in the US and 99 cents in Puerto Rico and Canada.) so now you know. Anyway, if there's a mother goose tale you really want to see, just put it in the reviews. Oh, and I do support Grilo…just not in this story.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Shilo, who was hiding from Amber Sweet in the middle of the woods. Why? Because she can. She lived with her friend, a drug dealer by the name of Graverobber. There was no dirty Grilo, so shut up you squealing fangirls before I sic my hounds of reality on you. Anyway, for his birthday, Shilo bought him a black cape with a hood.

"It was on sale." She had explained.

He felt amazingly like a ninja, so he wore it every day. Nothing could hurt a ninja, so he was invincible!

One day, Shilo came up to him with a basket, a serious expression plastered on her face. She held the basket out to Graverobber.

"Amber knows where we are…take this basket of Zydrate to her and make SURE she overdoses."

Graverobber hesitated, not because he was in love with Amber like everyone wants him to be (ew ew ew?). He was worried about losing a client. But then again…if Amber overdosed then the bitch would stop texting him. He didn't even know how the hell to text, and it pissed him off that she was costing him money.

At that moment, his phone buzzed. He flipped it open to reveal another message from Amber:

"Omg, lyke I needz sum Z now! :D kk? Ya so hurry up bby so we can hv fn! Ttyl 3"

That did it. He snapped the phone shut and snatched the basket out of Shilo's hands.

"You got it."

His trusty black cape on his shoulders, he walked through the forest.

"Stay on the path!" Shilo called after him.

"Shut up bitch. I'm not five." He yelled back.

Time passed as he stomped down the path, and he soon caught the attention of a mutated wolf. Now, this wolf had been genetically altered by the havoc GeneCo created, and could somehow talk and wear clothes…? Who knows. Anyway, he slid through the shadows, and appeared in front of Graverobber.

"Why, hello there. What's in the basket?"

"…Zydrate."

What a weirdo, thought Graverobber.

The ears on the wolf's head pricked up. You see, the wolf was a Zydrate addict who used dirty needles and ate whoever had some on hand…basically a very hairy hobo.

"…and where are you going with all that zydrate?" he asked sketchily.

Graverobber, used to sketchy people, answered truthfully.

"Amber's hide out. Now move."

An idea popped into the wolf's head. He pointed down into the dense forest.

"Lookie! A short cut! Go go go!"

"Shut up bitch! I'm not five!" And with that, he strode into the forest. The wolf began to follow in the shadows.

Graverobber instantly knew he was being followed and began to run, his black cape flowing behind him. Unfortunately though, the woods are NOT like dark back alleys. A root hooked around his foot and he tripped, clutching the basket to him as he did. As a grave robber, it was an instinct to save the Z before yourself.

As he went down, the wolf was on him, ripping at his throat. After eating Graverobber's dead body, the wolf took all the Z and overdosed himself. Amber found Shilo, and the two had an epic cat fight. The victor? That's another story…

The moral of this story: Having a black cape does NOT make you a ninja.

The End