Author's Notes: Thanks go to Peggy (Medieval Mystic: USER ID: 796384) for doing such a wonderful job beta'ing.
Chapter Six: Realizations
The following morning, I woke up with a buoyant feeling in my stomach. There were only two days left until the weekend, I was up to date on all my homework and I'd just woken from the most wonderful dream – about Remus!
I grinned stupidly to myself and buried my head in the pillow, savouring the last few seconds of my dream before my friends realized I was awake.
"Good morning," Michelle said cheerily. "All set for getting beaten by me and Lily in Arithmancy?"
I laughed and then replied by saying, "Not a chance. Remus' and my project is better than anything you and Lily will have come up with."
"Oh yes, you've been working with lover boy, haven't you? No wonder you're in a good mood," teased Stephanie.
"You're just jealous that I spent the evening with one of the Marauders and you didn't."
"Oh, now that was unfair," she returned with a mock pout.
We all burst out laughing and it wasn't until five minutes later that we'd calmed ourselves down enough to actually begin getting ready for the day.
Finally, we stopped giggling long enough to pull ourselves together before we headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.
The weather outside reflected my cheery mood and above me, the enchanted ceiling of the Hall mimicked the perfect, clear blue sky of outside.
For once, I almost regretted dropping Herbology, imagining how nice it would be to spend an hour outside in the greenhouse. However, I had something much better than good weather to look forwards to – Arithmancy.
I was doubly excited about going to my favorite class, because not only was I looking forward to handing in my project, but I also knew I'd get to sit by Remus.
I blushed at the thought; the remembered fragments of last night's dream causing added heat to rise in my cheeks.
"Hey, Jenn, are you coming to class?" Michelle asked, startling me from my daze. "If you don't hurry up, we're going to be late."
"Sorry," I said sheepishly. I rose from my stool and gathered my book bag. As I did so, Stephanie shot me a knowing look and then grinned.
We arrived outside the fourth floor classroom to find that Professor Vector had just opened the door and students were filing in.
My heart fluttered when I saw Remus sitting at our usual desk with Lily, and that just as he'd promised the night before, he had saved me a seat beside his.
"Good morning," Lily greeted us, as Michelle sat down next to her and I took the place Remus had been saving for me.
"Good morning," Michelle and I replied in unison.
Instantly, Lily and Michelle bowed their heads together and began discussing their project. It was then that Remus turned to me with a bright smile.
"Did you sleep well?" he asked.
"Yes thanks. I had the most wonderful drea-" I began and then caught myself. Once again, the color rose in my cheeks, and I wished Professor Vector would open a window or something. "Erm... yeah, I did thanks. Did you?"
"Well, for the most part, yes. However, James decided that five o'clock would be a good time to wake up and start asking Sirius what was the best way to get Lily to go to Hogsmeade with him."
At the mention of her name, Lily stopped chatting to Michelle and whipped around to look at Remus and I.
"Remus, you can tell Potter from me that the only way I'll agree to go to Hogsmead with him is if the Slytherins suddenly decide to start handing out Honeydukes chocolate to everyone else."
We all started laughing at the thought of the Slytherins doing anything nice that didn't benefit them, and it was then that Professor Vector called the class to attention.
"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. If you could all please pass your homework forward to my desk, we will begin."
Remus looked at me, grinned and then pulled our completed project from his book bag. At the same time, Michelle was retrieving her and Lily's project. Both assignments looked to be about the same length in parchment; I knew from experience there wouldn't be much difference between them.
Once everyone had handed in their homework, Professor Vector explained that she was going to grade the assignments during class so that we could have our marks back at the end of the lesson. Therefore, we were instructed to write up the text book's list of magical properties for the number seven (discovered by Bridget Wenlock), which would form the basis of our next assignment.
In silence, the whole class got to work and soon the only sound was the scratching of quills. I'd gotten half-way through my write up when I paused for a minute, then happened to catch Remus looking out of the window. He seemed to have finished his work already and was waiting patiently while everyone else caught up.
The sun light streaming through the window caught his sandy hair, making it look almost golden. From where I was sitting next to him, I noticed a number of things about Remus that I'd apparently never paid attention to before now.
Over the summer, he had grown at least two inches taller – I remembered last year, when our shoulders were at the same level. Now, he seemed to tower above me.
The other thing I noticed was a long, white, scar on the back of his neck. It was mostly hidden beneath his school robes, but from this close distance, it was clearly visable to me. I wasn't sure if the scar had been there the previous term or if it was something he'd acquired during the summer break. Either way though, I wondered how he'd gotten it. Was it merely the remains of some prank he and the other Marauders had played? Or had it been caused by something more serious? As I worried what could have left a permanent mark on his otherwise perfect skin, I began to notice other things I'd not seen before too.
In addition to the scar, Remus had a small amount of freckles on his neck, just below his hair line. They looked very pronounced at the moment, so I assumed he'd spent a lot of time in the sun over the summer.
As my eyes traveled up Remus' neck to the back of his head, I also became aware of the fact that his hair seemed longer than it had before the holidays. It wasn't as long as Sirius' – who wore it in a ponytail – nor was it anywhere near as unruly as James', that never seemed to lie flat. However, the sandy locks were curling slightly at the top of his collar, and I'm sure his hair hadn't been that long before. It suited him though – it made him look more mature and slightly rebellious.
I watched silently – completely forgetting about my class work - as Remus brushed a stray strand of hair out of his eyes, and it was then that I noticed the faint shade of stubble on his chin. Another thing that had changed over the summer.
With the lock of hair tucked firmly behind his ear, I was now able to see Remus' eyes, which were still gazing out of the window and across the lawn toward the lake.
I'd never realized before how long his eye lashes were. Although, because they were a light shade of blonde, it was almost impossible to tell unless you were sitting right next to him. But the lashes were only the frame of the real wonder – his eyes. I felt startled for a moment that I'd never paid real attention to them. They were the most unusual shade of green - almost yellow in fact.
Time seemed to escape me as I continued to gaze at Remus' eyes. I'd never been so captivated by anything before in my life. It was like the first time I'd gone into Honeydukes with my parents and seen all the chocolate. I just couldn't believe anything so astonishing could actually be real. One second his eyes looked like the color of sun-faded grass, and the next minute they seemed like orbs of pure honey.
The bell ringing to signal the end of class startled me out of my haze and I sighed as I realized I hadn't completed my work and would have to catch up later.
"Right, before you all go, I have graded your assignments and will hand them back now," Professor Vector announced, as everyone began gathering their belongings together.
Rising from her desk, she then made her way along each aisle and began giving projects back to the students.
"Very well done," Professor Vector said as she handed Lily and Michelle their homework. "An excellent piece from both of you."
I peered over Michelle's shoulder, to see that her and Lily's assignment had been awarded an 'E' grade, the only criticism being that they'd focused a little too much on Dumbledore's findings in the subject and neglected other areas.
Then, with a wide smile, Professor Vector approached Remus and I.
"And you two certainly have excelled yourselves," she said pleasantly. "A faultless project. Twenty house points to each of you."
Remus took the 'O' graded assignment from Professor Vector, then turned to me with a grin and threw his arms around me.
"Great work, Jenn," he whispered, as he pushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
It was at that moment – with one of Remus' hands on my lower back, and the other lightly touching my cheek – that all the new things I'd notice about him suddenly collided in my brain. Images of us working, chatting, laughing and just being together flashed through my mind in quick succession. And that's when I realized one final thing. I liked Remus more than as just a friend – a lot more.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The remainder of the day passed in an utter blur for me; I went from one class to the next in a complete daze. I hardly paid attention to anything my professors said, my mind busy digesting the awareness that somewhere along the line, somehow, I'd fallen for Remus. I'd stopped seeing him as merely a friend and my feelings had changed into something more... more what? I wondered. I hadn't had a serious boyfriend before, and I certainly hadn't felt like this ever. It was as though there was a hole in my life when Remus wasn't around.
Even the simplicity of studying with him or sitting next to him in class caused me to feel as though I'd found a missing piece of myself.
I contemplated what I should do next. Should I try to act as normal as possible and just pretend my feelings for him hadn't changed? Or should I admit them to him and see if he felt the same? Alternatively, I could do nothing, and wait and see if Remus said anything. After all, he had suggested we go to both Professor Slughorn's party and the Quidditch try-outs together. Maybe that was an indication he was feeling the same way I was?
However, not having any previous relationships to base this assumption on, I just didn't know for sure. What I really needed was the advice of someone who'd been there themselves. I contemplated sending an owl to my mum, but then changed my mind knowing what a fuss she'd make if I told her I liked a boy. I could already hear her voice in my head, planning the wedding.
Suddenly Sirius Black passed me in the corridor on the way to the Great Hall for dinner. His presence made me think of the perfect person to ask for advice – Stephanie! Out of all of my friends, she was the wisest where matters of the heart were concerned. She was the only one out of our group who'd had a serious relationship and she was always setting her friends up with people.
Vowing to speak to Stephanie as soon as I had a chance to get her alone, I strode into the Hall with a happy smile on my face.
As I made my way to the Ravenclaw table, Remus caught my eye and grinned at me. The butterflies fluttered in my stomach and I felt light headed for a second.
"Are you okay?" Michelle asked as I sat down. "You seem a little flushed?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to eat."
Michelle nodded in understanding, then returned to her own dinner as I reached for my plate. However, Stephanie was looking at me curiously and her eyes darted towards the Gryffindor table. I knew she'd cottoned on to what was actually wrong, but I wasn't prepared to discuss it over dinner in the middle of the crowded Great Hall.
"Meet me after prefect duties tonight and then I'll tell you all about it," I mouthed.
"Okay," Stephanie whispered back, then resumed eating.
With the knowledge that I'd be able to confess my feelings for Remus to someone, and get another perspective on the situation, I felt a sense of relief that allowed me to enjoy my dinner without a worry.
When the meal was finally over, and people began leaving the Great Hall, I rose from my seat in preparation for my prefect duties. As I stood up, I spotted my fellow sixth year prefect Jason Medley, who had also just finished eating.
"All ready to go patrolling?" he asked, as we made are way to the entrance of the hall.
"Yeah, I'm set whenever you are."
Jason nodded and we then fell into a comfortable conversation about our day as we made our way up the grand staircase.
Prefect duties passed quickly and without major incident as Jason and I patrolled the corridors of the castle. The most excitement we saw that night were the two Hufflepuff first years we encountered, who were throwing dung-bombs at Peeves.
Finally, curfew was drawing near. Jason said he needed to visit the bathroom so he'd see me back at Ravenclaw tower later.
As I made my way back to the common room, I suddenly became aware that someone was following me. Assuming it was Jason finished in the bathroom already, I slowed down so that he could catch me up.
However, a few seconds later, I heard a voice coming from the shadows.
"What are you doing walking around the castle at this time of night?" the voice questioned. It was so low, it was almost a whispered growl.
To be continued....