Previously, on Meet the Masens: "Hullo. I'm Jasmine." The girl waved. "And I'm Spike." The man nodded. "Wait." Johanna squinted one eye. "Don't I know you?" "Oh shit."
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Buffy POV.
Gosh, I wish Spike and Jasmine would hurry up and knock on the damned door! They are going to ruin the plan, if they keep messing around. I mean its easy enough, right? You go up, knock on the door, then they open up, and you say "We're lost, can we stay over the night?" I heard that the head of the house, (Carlisle, or something) was really compassionate, or something. I hope he'll be alright now… Oh my God, Jacob is in there… one step closer to making him mine! Hahahaha, yes! My plan is worki- Oh! They're knocking on the door… come on… yes! They're inside! Score! That Carlisle is such a push-over.
God, my plan had better work… what was phase two, again? Oh, right- we make all of Johanna's flaws really obvious… Then Jacob will have to dump her! Oh, and we have to slay all those vampires. That's phase three. It's a tiny bit trickier than phase two, considering the fact that there's, like, 22 vampires in there. And there are seven of us. But we'll have eight once Jacob is on our team. I can just imagine it now…
Hang on; I'm getting bad psychological messages from Jasmine… Plan… going… bad… girl... recognises... Spike…. What? No! That's… that's impossible! Stupid Spike… I'd better send her a message back. Don't... worry… play… it… cool... I'll… think… of… something… soon. There. Lucky she only has restricted access to my thoughts, otherwise my whole Jacob fantasy would be… well, her fantasy. Plus, the sinister part of the plan where she isn't included would be revealed. And we don't want that.
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"Er… yeah. Oh my God! I remember you! You were that girl from, er… Wales!" Jasmine smiled. "Actually, I've never been to Wales in my life. And it's not you I recognise, it's…" Johanna turned to face Spike. "It's you." she pointed at him. Jasmine sighed. So much for 'playing it cool' she thought. "Me? No. You must be blind or something, luv. I've never seen you before in my life. And I'm sure I've never seen you in my after-life, either."
Johanna nodded. "Ok." She chimed. "If you say so." Spike and Jasmine looked surprised. "So… that's it?" Jasmine asked. "Yeah. Why?" Spike was about to say something when Jasmine put her hand over his mouth. "No reason." And with that they sat down at the dining table. Carlisle came back in and sat down at the table too. He glanced over at Jasmine and Spike. "Umm… hopefully tomorrow, we'll be able to drop you to New York. I was, uh, heading that way anyway." "Thanks.". An awkward silence filled the room. Esme, remembering her manners, stood up and offered Spike and Jasmine some raw deer. Jasmine declined, muttering something about lunch. Spike was about to skewer a big piece with his fork when Jasmine stood on his foot. Spike realised he wasn't hungry anymore, and put his fork down.
Everyone was dead silent. Edward looked strangely at Jasmine and Spike. First, he did a double take. Then he strained his ears, as though listening for something. Obviously, he didn't hear what he was listening for, because his next expression was a sort of scrunched-up face, followed by widened eyes and an open mouth. Emmett snorted. "What? Emmett that is so slack!" Edward yelled across the table. Jasmine was laughing too. It seemed that Jasmine and Emmett were sharing a silent joke.
"What?" Alice asked. "What is it? I want to know! I want to know!" "If it's my hair again…" Spike muttered. Rosalie seethed with jealousy. Jasmine laughed more. Then Emmett and Jasmine stood up and high-fived each other, still laughing. "Oh my God guys, like, what the hell?" Lucy shook her head. Fleur looked confused. Claire didn't look like she really cared what was happening at the dinner table; in fact she had her nose buried in a book. Cassie sighed and went back to picking at her deer. Monique was talking to Jedd in hushed tones, oblivious to everyone else at the table.
"EXCUSE ME!" Everyone shut up. Everyone then turned around to face Johanna. "Would anyone mind telling me what the hell you are laughing at?" Jasmine opened her mouth. All the non mind readers looked at her expectantly. She then burped and closed her mouth. "Eww…" Everyone looked at her, grossed out. That is, everyone except Lucy, Fleur, Monique and Emmett. "Score! But I reckon I could do a better one!" Emmett dissed. "Oh, you're on, muscle man!" "MUSCLE MAN?" he choked. "That the best you can do, pom?" "Excuse me…" "Actually, it isn't." "Excuse m-"
"Oh! You wanna bet?" Emmett clicked his fingers. "Right." Said Jasmine. "5 quid." She threw a fiver down on the table. "EXCUSE ME! …AGAIN!" Johanna added, for extra drama. Again, everyone swung around. "What was the fucking joke, guys?" "That was rude. Say please." "How 'bout no?" Johanna asked Jasmine. "Fine. The joke was… it was… well, Emmett thought that Edward looked constipated." "Oh my God, you're right!" Fleur smiled. Everyone at the table cracked up. Carlisle chuckled. Bella giggled. Jacob was laughing the loudest. Edward sat there with his head in his hands. "…surrounded by a bunch of loons…" he muttered. Then they were interrupted by a loud knock at the door. BANG! BANG! Esme stood up to open the door. Esme walked back in with a really confused look on her face. "Jasmine? Spike? Miss Buffy is here to see you…" Esme gestured to the front door. A couple of seconds later, Jasmine stuck her head around the door .and into the dining room. "Sorry, change of plans, we won't be needing any help. Turns out our friend from New York knew about our delay. She sent a friend to pick us up. Thanks for everything. See you again soon, I hope!" And in a blur of blonde hair, she was gone.
As soon as she left, Edward spoke. "They were weird." "You're only being sour about the constipation face, aren't you?" "No, Emmett. I mean, I couldn't read their minds. It was as though something was blocking me. Sort of like when I first met Bella…but bigger." Edward looked into the distance, thinking. "I know. I think she was a psychic." Natalie said. "I don't know what she was," Fleur shrugged her shoulders "But they're definitely not going to New York."
"What? What makes you say that?" Alice asked her. "Well, for starters, they were both really, well, fishy. And also," Fleur picked up the money that Jasmine had left on the table. "She has English currency." "Maybe their just tourists," Jasper suggested. "No. Fleur's right…" Rosalie muttered. "There was something totally fishy about those guys. And who mistakes Forks for New York?" "Maybe they can't read maps…" Jacob suggested. "I don't know…" Fleur shook her head. "But there is something seriously wrong with them." "No. You're over-reacting." Alice smiled. "You're too smart for your own good, Fleur. Now let's go upstairs. We've got a big day tomorrow." "We do?" Cassie asked. "Yeah. We're going shopping!" Bella groaned. Rosalie sighed. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about these mysterious visitors, but no matter how hard she tried, Fleur couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. And that something was going to happen soon. Something bad.
Something bad was going to happen. But no one could have seen it coming. Not even Alice.